Bodyslam the Buttinskis

Since coming back to Canada from Korea some of the most pleasurable times I've spent have been whistling my way through the aisles of the local Safeway like a whistling zombie in a brainshop. You see there are about a bazillion products available here that I have spent late nights craving from the depths of darkest Korea and/or spent 5 to 10 times the amount of money they're worth on them just to have a taste of home now and again. Now I can eat 'em all! I have to be careful because that is the impulse. But I'm trying the spread out my enjoyment eating the things I craved most a little at a time to extend the appreciation of being home as long as I can. I know it'll fade soon and I'll be complaining. For instance... (hey I gotta be me)...

The quarter carts at Safeway. Come on! Really? I have to put a quarter into the cart quarter chain thingy in order to seriously shop at Safeway. Why? THey WANT me to use that cart. It will encourage me to buy more if I have a cart in which I am able to wheel more items around the store as I shop. Bigger carts encourage bigger purchases. Why do you think Suprstores, Walmarts and Costcos have aisles like landing strips and those cavernous grocery barges? They're subliminally forcing us helpless consumers to buy more!

Yet at Safeway they inconvenience me, almost DIScourage me from using the cart by adding this extra chore to my shopping day. And it IS a chore in a country where I think I can accurately say we are burdened down by the jingly ballast of more pocket change than most. (A joint effort on the part of the government and credit card companies to make cash less convenient and bully us into using plastic). And where, at least for myself, the goal is to get RID of that extra tonnage so that I don't rip holes in my pockets, lose my pants altogether or sink to the bottom of any deep water I might accidentally fall into, I don't want to always have a quarter on my person in case I might want to do some grocery shopping.

And seriously, Safeway, if you want us to do this quarter thing, get a system that WORKS! I can't tell you how many times I have shoved a quarter into a cart and it didn't unlock, OR brought my cart back and could not get my quarter OUT of it. I recently used one of those smaller carts. It was great until it came time to put it back. My cart would not push far enough into the cart at the back of the cart train to insert the key into the lock on my buggy and retrieve my 25 cents. There WAS one way I could have done and that was to lift the cart upside-down on top of the train, insert the key, get my quarter and leave the cart hanging there. But, so as not to inconvenience the next person I did not do that. Though I may next time.

The quarter cart system begs the question why. I KNOW it's not a safety deposit issue. Meaning if a person should run off with the cart it will have cost them some money. With a good hammer that quarter is easily retrievable anyway. It occurs to me that maybe, since I'll be weighed down anyway, I should bring a quarter AND a hammer with me every time I go grocery shopping. That'd be one solution.

No Safeway will tell you that it is because people are more likely to put the carts back into the cart trains if they get a quarter back. I was alive before this quarter cart idea was designed to force us all to be courteous cart corallers, I've seen carts abandoned in supermarket parking lots. But never very many. And I understand that every minute an employee spends "chasing the silver" as it's called when they gather up carts from around the store, they could be doing something more productive in the supermarket. But please, for the prices we pay at Safeway, please allow us this one service! Will they do it? For the answer take the "S" out of "Safe", then take the "fuck" out of "Way." That's right, there IS no fuckin way!

Because of a few lazy Safeway customers and a few who think THEIR time is more productively spent doing something other than adding to the silver trains, the rest of us have to suffer. It's all part of the phenomenon I like to call "overprotection." This is when people force other people to do things, "for their own good." People in positions with some political power who have unhealthy obsessions with controlling other people's behaviour and who have any of a slew of impressive sounding community organization and governmental titles, but who are still just medallers and busybodies. They don their self-commissioned mantles of health and safety watchdogs and invariably cater to the minority on the far side of the spectrum which leads to the production of bylaws, laws and conventions that inconvenience, (and tax), the majority.

During my time in Korea I significantly reduced my carbon footprint by traveling by foot, bus or the occasional taxi. I admit it didn't start out as an environmental effort on my part, (it's an exercise in transcendant patience to endure the traffic, parking and ignorance problems that every motorist in Korea inflicts upon him/herself just by getting behind the wheel). But I think I want to do my best to keep it up here in Canada, (given the price of gas is over $1.30/Litre.) So after contemplating a vehicle for a while, then weighing necessity vs. desire, I haven't bought one. I've been walking. But on April 30th there's a bike sale here in Smithers that I may or may not attend. I'll tell you why this presents a quandary.

Other than the fact that most bicycles nowadays have the handlebars that are so far forward and flat that I feel like with any sudden stop I'll be tasting the knobs on my front tire, the main reason I am hesitant, (not to say loathe, (because "loathe" is a pretty pretentious word when used like that)), to buy a bike is the severely overprotective helmet laws the vast majority of cyclists, who will never be putting their noggins in jeopardy by biking, are bullied into obeying. In my life I've put on more helmetless miles than all but the most serious of cyclists will EVER ride and not once did I even get a bump or a boo-boo on my melon. HOWEVER, I never had one of those death machines that has the majority of the rider's weight on the hands OVER the handlebars and the front wheel. I submit that this major design flaw in bicycles, while possibly saving wear and tear on the rear wheel, actually greatly increases the chance of head injury. Or if you want to put it into corporate and political terms, it "necessitates the use of protective, (though costly, gay looking and hair messing), headgear.

When I'm cycling I want something on my head that can soak up sweat and keep the sun out of my eyes. Bike helmets are made for people who don't have heads shaped like mine. ANd the styrofoam, or whatever they're made from, sure doesn't have any absorption or play to it. A dog dish would be more comfortable and far from soak it up, they promote a free flow of sweat directly into the eyes of the wearer. And to make matters worse, wherever you go you have this unwieldy, sweaty, stinky helmet to lug around with you.

NONE of this is to keep you safe! These laws were suggested and passed by medaling busybodies who, rather than mind their own business, were trying to justify their existance, more to the point, their salaries and their political power. The bogus statistics we're force fed about lives helmets have saved are for the same purpose.

The only cycle I ride these days is the stationary bike at the gym. Don't need a helmet for that. YET!

So now I have to decide what is more of an affront to my autonomy and personal liberties: being bullied into wearing the inconvenient and unnecessary headgear to appease the nosey buttinskis at the core of societal deterioration, or having the comfort and pleasure of a bikeride compromised by design failures and equipment laws so much that it's foregone altogether.

Almost makes me say, "Screw it, I'll just buy the damn car." Don't look now but I think I feel the biggest bully in the school, the government, shakin' me down for my lunch money again. I wish I could just once be like the Australian lad, Casey Haynes, in the vid at the top of this entry. I wish ALL Canadians could. We're much bigger and tougher than the government. Let's bodyslam the bastards!

Adulthood

Still enjoying every day here in Canada where the lack of cultural stimulation is culturally stimulating. What I mean by that is I don't have the stimulation of foreign culture to keep me amused. And it WAS amusing in Korea sometimes when I sat across the table at a BORED meeting from some shiny suit wearing, dogma damaged, slave to some mystical "code of honour" that fostered the primate-band competitiveness which prevented him from relaxing unless he was swamped in soju. More than once I have laughed at the charade that is bolstered by protocol and rules rather than self-knowledge or inner resources and the verification was the way it completely self-destructed confronted with said laughter. The suit, cover blown, looked surreptitiously around in fear that he might be found in violation of adulthood and quickly progressed to anger. A good laugh can sometimes get you into trouble. I really wish that weren't so. But this is the world we live in.

We miss so much trying to be grown up and professional! But now I'm in the land of, "Perfect!", "You have a good day now,", "Real good. You?", "Good afternoon soft and inoffensive company name spoken an entire octave friendlier than natural, how may I help you?", "May I offer to convince you by my outward appearance that this is not a service I'd rather not be offering?" Where teeth trays, whitening strips, foaming toothpaste and thousands of dollars in dental work will make your smile as shiny as the car you're financially chained to, the shoes you're wearing and the life you're selling.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I prefer to bring my Eastern mystic experience to bear upon the situation. When we become convinced that the human situation is hopeless, we approach serenity. That's what Zen masters say. I'm just outlining for the edification of others, the winding road that will undoubtedly get me to that state of mental perfection.

"I'm so happy! The birds are singing. The sun is shining. Take care. All the best." SLAP! The birds are relating the history of the survival of their species in song that transcends American Idol judging and cannot be penned by Mozart and all the while with thermonuclear nonchalance the sun converts hydrogen to helium at the rate of 4.2 million tons per second!

Why don't we know this? Because we're too busy doing what we're told by our owners. I just came from the post office. No mail but the customary handful of flyers. There's a sign at the post office requiring everyone to take all of their mail. And there is no trash can in or outside the post office. You are forced to keep that corporate suggestion for at least as long as it takes you to walk to the nearest garbage can. We can't rent movies, cars, buy headphones on a plane or stay at most hotels without a credit card. Lots of places are becoming "cashless for your convenience." Maybe it's so we don't notice the Harmonious Sales Tax we pay on everything against our wills.

When we're young we're pushed around in strollers; when we're old we're pushed around in wheelchairs; in between, we're just pushed around.

The worst example I can think of is rearing its ugly head these days in BC. Signs are being planted on front lawns and mud is being slung on TV commercials all over the province. It's election time. The local paper had a gal, possibly well meaning but at least posing as the commonly misinformed columnist she is supposed to represent herself as publicly, saying "vote, vote, vote" and proceeding to complain about the HST and other troubles the politics of the past have caused us all. But we still do as we're told. For what is politics, Tom Robbins says, but the compulsion to preside over property and make other people's decisions for them? Liberty, the very opposite of ownership and control, cannot, then, result from political action. What then is voting but showing support for the engine through which our liberties and freedoms are limited?

And I'm saying this from the relative luxury of Canada, a place where we DO have a lot of beauty and good things. I am finding more and more that the good stuff is the real stuff and most of the bad like politics, banks, big business, money, they're abstract, barely real ideas that we are told we must believe in and support in order to be good adults.

I'm not a perfect person. I've got skeletons in the closet and spit in my harmonica, but I reckon if we tried to avoid these things we'd see how abstract and toothless they really are. Don't use your credit cards! Don't keep your money in the bank. Don't pay the fucking HST! The businesses are just government collectors forced by some unseen entity to collect for them. THEY'RE not going to make you pay. They don't even WANT to collect it! Who will chase me down and put me in jail if I just refuse to pay this Horse Shit Tax? Nobody if everyone else in Canada could somehow sack up and stop paying it too. But as long as we have our creature comforts we are apathetic to revolution.

Well, I'm going out to get some beer to drink while watching the Canucks play Chicago on high def. Hockey Night in Canada tonight. See ya next time!

Top 10 The Sequel

I'm a fair man. That's what SHE said. Heh heh. And that's what my teachers used to say about my grades and my effort. Fair. I have fair skin but I wouldn't say I was fair as in beautiful. The other day one of my co-workers said I have a radio voice. One of my OTHER friends, (and he norms who he is), said I also have a face for radio. With friends like those... sigh.

Be that as it may, I'm talking about fair as in calling a spade a spade; giving the benefit of the doubt; giving credit where credit is due; calling an even game; judging not lest I be judged; rendering unto Caesar that which is Caesar's; geez, I could go for a Caesar right now; you get the picture.

Last entry being about why Canada kicks Korea's ass, (and it SOOO does!), I thought it prudent of me to write a second top 10 list about the things that despite myself I am going to miss about that crazy country. I DID spend 10 years there. There must have been SOMETHING I liked about it. But TEN things, hmmmm... this could be tough. Oh well, if I don't end up changing this to a top 7 or 8 it will be the second installment on the new blog of Dave's Top Ten list. So here we go, these will be the top ten things I will miss about Korea.

10. The bonding expats feel that comes from collective suffering. Meaningful nods on crowded, sweaty buses or at the immigration offices that just mean something like, "We're all in this together, dude."

9. Fruit, vegetables, water, beer, Korean food, everything I put into my mouth in Korea is cheaper. Except for the meat. Having a giant pork roast tonight that woulda cost 30-40 bucks in Korea and here it was 10. And animals aren't hacked up willy nilly. We have pork chops, roasts, different kinds of steak cuts that are recognizable. So I'm going all Atkins here.

8. Visiting my friends in Seoul at I Tae Weon Woodstock.

7. Good beer, great music and always a good BS session with John and the soldier boys in Peng Sung at Shooters bar. Shout out!

6. Low or FREE rent! Can't beat that!

5. Not having blackouts on my computer. In Canada I can't watch Southpark, Daily Show, Colbert Report, or even Vancouver Canucks hockey on my computer! What a rip!

4. Teaching ESL. I LIKE teaching. Even though every place I worked in my 10 years in Korea had a slightly different version of jagoff to work for, I NEVER had a problem with the students or the work. I loved it and I will miss it.

3. Are you kidding? 50 bucks a year in taxes! Hello! Winning! lol

2. The Kia Tigers of the Korean Baseball Organization. I am doing my best to keep up with the Tigers since coming home but I don't know how long that will last. Games on naver.com are impossibly slow to watch here in Canada. Even highlights play for a second and stop for 10. But go Tigers anyway.

And the number one thing I will miss about Korea will be the long vacations. I often had 5 months a year paid vacation. That's pretty sweet, no doubt about it! So I usually tried to teach at a kids camp and make double money for a few weeks, then spend that money in one of the amazing vacation destinations in S.E. Asia. I had some really great times doing that!

Again, don't hesitate to post something you think I will miss or that you will miss when you leave Korea.

Another of Dave's Top Ten Lists

I was hoping to post a few really nice pics of Smithers in this entry but even though I've had my camera with me every day this week, I haven't been able to get the pics I wanted. So I'll just save them for another day.

Hmmmmm... what should I put in here instead? I know, let's talk about orange juice. I once had a job at an orange juice cannery but lost it because I couldn't concentrate. Ar ar. But seriously, what do they do to oranges to make concentrated orange juice? Isn't freshly squeezed about as concentrated as the taste can get? How do you shrink it down so that you need three cans of water to make it taste like freshly squeezed again? This is unnatural! But whatever they do to that orange juice, I wanna do to some other things! I just moved from Korea, as you know, and it is gonna end up costing me a pile of money before I'm done. Had I been able to concentrate my furniture, books, cd's, appliances, electronics, clothes and stuff it would have cost me so much less! And I wouldn't have had to give away thousands of dollars worth of stuff. I could have packed it neatly into a few boxes, mailed it home and then when it got to Canada I could just find a place big enough, throw three cans of water on it and stand back. Man that'd be awesome!

On the other hand, the plan is to go to Vancouver later this month with an old buddy of mine, Ed, who generously offered the use of his truck. ROAD TRIP! One of the packages is my set of golf clubs I bought in Thailand so I think Ed and I might see if we can fit in some whack-fuck on one of the beautiful Vancouver courses. They're already playing in Vancouver. And I'm sure we'll find ways to make the trip more fun than throwing three cans of water on my stuff would have been. Sometimes the natural way is better.

But then again, sometimes it's not. Natural gas for instance. It has no smell. Dangerous for such a flammable substance. That odour you smell when it leaks is an additive. My question is this: If that's the case, and it is, who is the genius who was in charge of choosing the scent? Who said, "No I don't think it should smell like strawberries or flowers, why not make it smell like eggs mixed with sulphur fried in groin sweat?"

However, I guess if you smell that odour and run out of a building seconds before it explodes, it might end up being a good smell to you.

Small things like perception, intonation or context can change things completely. So they're NOT really small things. If the parents of a teenager go to Mexico on vacation leaving him home alone for two weeks and leave with these parting words, "Don't do anything stupid." He could reply, "I promise. Nothing." Or he could reply, "I promise nothing!"

How would anyone know how good Jesus was without Satan; how funny George Carlin was without Polly Shore; how romantic "When Harry Met Sally" was without "9 1/2 Weeks"; how exciting hockey is without soccer; how GREAT Canada is without Korea?

Not everything but I'll give you just a few examples of how my life has improved since coming home. And even though there are MANY more than 10, HEY, why don't I make this into the first of my top ten lists on the new blog? Okay, here we go, Top Ten Signs That Canada Kicks Korea's Ass:

Number 10: Toilet paper I can buy less than 30 rolls at a time!

Number 9: Bags of chips that just pull open! You don't need a damn blow torch... And I won't even get into the flavours! Had some harvest cheddar sun chips tonight. Auuugggghhhh!

Number 8: Pedestrians HAVE the right of way. This is actually the hardest thing to get used to again for me. People slowly approach me in their cars knowing I want to cross a street and I'm thinking, "Jerks. Just want to inconvenience me for as long as they can." And then I realize they're stopping to let me cross before them. Just tonight it happened again and it turned out to be a couple slowing down to tell me there were three deer on the road just ahead of me. Sure enough, there they were nibbling on the neighbour's shrubbery as I walked by them.

Number 7: It's mid April and STILL no mosquitos!!!

Number 6: Strangers on the street say, "Hello." AND MEAN IT.

Number 5: After working an entire month for her, my boss is STILL very nice.

Number 4: Laws are not mere suggestions. They are enforced. By cops with power.

Number 3: Fruit, veggies, meat, water, beer, everything I put in my mouth tastes better. Except the Korean food. It's not so great here in Smithers.

Number 2: REAL music!

And the number one sign that Canada kicks Korea's ass:

PLAYOFF HOCKEY!!! GO Canucks GO!!!

Canucks play their first game Wednesday. The day before my birthday. I hope to go to my friends' place to watch it on their big screen, hi def TV. I hope they don't lose. Already bet my Chicagoan friend some poutine smothered in maple syrup against a Chicago style pizza that the Canucks will beat Chicago this year. Since I can't concentrate the poutine it will prove difficult to send him if the Canucks should happen to lose.

In my own words...

I know that it's evil, I know that it's got to be.
No I ain't doin' much but doin' nothin' means a lot to me.
Livin' on a shoestring. A fifty cent millionaire.
Open to charity. Rock and roll welfare.
Sittin' in my Cadillac listenin' to the radio.
Suzie baby get on in and tell me where you wanna go.
I'm livin' in a nightmare. She's lookin' like a wet dream.
I got myself a Cadillac but I can't afford the gasoline.
I got holes in my shoes and I'm way overdue.
Down payment blues.

Love and cars eh? What did Warren Zevon say? Can't start it like a car and can't stop it with a gun. And if not for gals like Suzie baby, some guys, (maybe like me), would never

get myself a steady job. Some responsibilty.
Can't even feed my cat on social security.

It's not just any girl that has ME working for a living again though. I got a friend who's a workaholic. You mention work and he gets drunk. But seriously it IS love. A special old girl I met about 43 years ago. Yeah we've had our differences. I left her for a while. But like a Spinner, I was always workin' my way back to her.

Have I had a beer? Well, one. I decided not long ago that I drink too much. So I went to Alcoholics Anonymous. That helped a lot. I still drink but now I do it under an assumed name. So I went to the doctor. My doctor told me my urine sample was like the weather: warm and cloudy. And he found an olive in it. But I'm drinking beer tonight. It's beer only she could give me. And I just loaded up the wood stove and started a fire. Something I really missed about her.

No I wasn't a Player while I was overseas but she called me one day on the telephone and said, "Hello, how are you? Have you been all right? Through all those lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely nights?" Then she said, "Baby come back. You can blame it all on me. I was wrong and I just can't live without you." What could I do? I was in Exile over in Asia. In the heat of the moment she said, "I never meant to be so bad to you. One thing I said that I would never do. One look from you and I would fall from grace. And that would wipe the smile right from my face." Like a Queen she made me feel I wanted to break free. I wanted to break free from the lies and the self-satisfied God knew I had to break free. So I came home to light her fire. I'd been thinkin about her for 15 years she was my one desire. The minute I saw her I knew she could see it in my eyes I could feel it in her touch. She didn't have to say a thing just let me show how much I love her, need her. So I kissed her all over and over again till the night closed in.

Of course I'm talking about Canada. She's such a beautiful country! I looked out this morning and the sun was gone. Turned on some music to start my day. I lost myself in a familiar song. I closed my eyes and I slipped away. I tell you it's more than a feeling when I hear that old song playing. I begin dreaming and I see Korea walk away. I closed my eyes and she slipped away. She slipped away. Haaaiiiiyyyy!!!!

Now I've got the peace of mind I've been looking for. Everybody's got advice they just keep on givin. Doesn't mean that much to me. Lots of people out to make a legal living and can't decide what they should be. Oh I understand about indecesion and I don't care if I get behind people living in competition. All I want is to have my peace of mind.

Of course if the money comes I'll take it. I'll tell you a story. The following is a true story only the names have been changed to protect the guilty. I got holes in my shoes I got holes in my teeth I got holes in my socks I can't get no sleep. I'm trying to make a million. And I got patches on the patches of my old blue jeans. Well they USED to be blue when they used to be new, when they used to be clean. It ain't no fun waiting round to be a millionaire. But that's what I'm doing back in Canada. So far.

It's 6 in the morning and I've been up typing this and listening to tunes all night. Never woulda guessed that would ya? But that's because I'm working the midnight shift. Anyway, I'm gonna keep on doing what I'm doing. Because I wanna rock and roll all night and party ev er ry day.

One RingyDingy

It's good to be back in Canada. In the past couple decades, to quote Kerry Livgren, I've been tossed about like a ship on the ocean. I set a course for winds of fortune but I heard the voices say, "Carry on my wayward son. There'll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest and don't you cry no more NO! nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh na nuh na do do doo doooo..."

I was a bit wayward but the winds have blown me back to my beloved friends in Smithers, the Smithereens. And I'm hoping that here I'll settle down. I dunno if I'm ready to lay my weary head to rest yet, but I doubt I'll stray too far from here again. It could happen but it's not in the immediate future plans. Things are going all right.

I'm just home from my 9th day of training as a night auditor at the Hudson Bay Lodge here in Smithers. It's a genuine skill trying to balance all the figures for the day and to do the other book work while checking people in and out and answering phones. But little by little I'm getting the hang of it. I never thought I'd be doing anything resembling bookkeeping or accounting but I actually have a knack for it. I've balanced almost every time and aparently for this audit that's not too common. It's pretty complicated. I'm slow but when you balance you don't have to waste any time finding a missing 5 bucks or whatever. So it works out.

I've always been like that though. Do it right the first time even if it takes a little longer. I'm not in a hurry. That seems to be a good thing at this job. But I have to give some credit to my trainer, Gary. He'd be a good teacher. At least for ME. He hasn't spoon fed me. He makes me try to work things out on my own. I prefer to learn that way. It's what I try to make MY students do too. Or at least "tried." I'm not a teacher any more. Though I am hoping to hear from a couple places that will hire me to do something similar.

Also, I took my level one first aid this past Monday. I need it for one of those jobs I just mentioned. But while there I met a lady named Karen Wilson who told me there is a place in town here where I can teach ESL voluntarily. I'm gonna look into that once I finish the midnight training. They're expanding the college here to double its size and will be starting some new programs. With luck they will like the idea of an ESL class or two and I will be Johnny-on-the-spot to teach them. THAT would be really sweet!

Or I might just get a job associated with one of the giant projects that are happening in and around Smithers within the next few years. Electric lines, pipelines, railroads, there'll be LOADS of work available for a valuable piece of manpower like myself! Just gotta show the right folks that that's what I am. Word gets around in a small town.

Things couldn't be going much better actually. Add in that the Canucks are having their best season EVER and I'll be home to watch the playoffs with friends, that's just a huge bonus! But I wouldn't be me if I didn't have something to whine about. And here it is: Telus! Like Lilly Tomlin's operator says to Mr. Veedle, "The phone company is not subject to city, state or federal laws. We are omnipotent. That's POtent with an omni in front of it." Actually Lilly was pretty hot wasn't she?

But those were the days when phones were actually necessary. Nowadays we can chat, text, video conference, even phone online for free. The phone should be CHEAPER since it's a dying technology. But it's not. On my cell phone I'm getting jacked up for 70 cents a minute sometimes! And then I buy one of those long distance cards for 20 bucks and what an ordeal it is to use! I bought it by mistake actually. Thought it could be used for my cell phone. But it couldn't. So I tried to take it back to Safeway where I bought it and no dice. Once it's sold it's activated and can't be returned. So I tried to use it with my friend's home phone. Problem is there are no instructions on it. So I go online and there are webpages all over the place talking bout how there's a SUPER convenient activation number that's the same all over Canada. The rates are cheap and it's SO easy to use this number. It's as simple as dialling the phone. But nowhere in the 10 websites I checked do they HAVE this super duper convenient number!

How stupid is that?! So I call one of the Telus toll free help lines. It, of course, is a recording saying, "What number are you calling about?" What if I'm not calling about a number? Can't ask that to a computer. So I scratch off the number on the card and enter that. "We're sorry, we do not recognize that number." I call another with the same result. So I end up just dialling zero, which I'll probably have to pay for. I got a girl who couldn't help me so she forwarded me to another department that was busy at the time so after holding half an hour I got a guy who tried and tried to help me but couldn't. By the end of the conversation HE was wondering why they sold these stupid cards in Smithers. There ARE numbers listed for major cities in Canada but not for the rest of us. Finally at the point where I was almost ready to throw the damn thing in the garbage I noticed in TINY print, "If you don't have enough money to live in these cities Telus is not really interested in you but you can use THIS number I guess." Or something to that effect.

So I was able to use the card. And had a nice long convo with Mom. I might even buy another one now that I've broken the code. If that's EASY I wonder what Telus does to make things difficult. I don't really want to find out. Telus. What a company! Got rich charging people WAAAY too much for phone calls over the years and now they're overcharging for internet. That's what I'm using right now in fact.

I think they are all like this operator, Mrs Tomlin, at Telus. "When may we expect payment?" But that's just my take on the sitcheeation. Anyway, there's gotta be SOME bad with all the good. I'd get pretty scared otherwise wondering what the fates were taking so much time conjuring up for me.

Things are pretty good otherwise.