Fuk Yu: The New Kung Fu

"Thank you China." I bet that's not what this blonde lady in the pic is thinking. She's probably thinking, "I paid 240 bucks for THIS?" She looks like she might be a knowledgeable hockey fan who can tell a stinker when she sees it. That's not just sour grapes either. I wanted to see this game live, but couldn't, so now I'm saying it wasn't worth going to. Right? Well, maybe that's part of it. But not all of it.

What's that towel-waving, Chinese gal thinking? Props for having the right hat on, by the way. There was one interview done on Chinese TV with a young girl wearing a Dallas Mavericks jersey. She probably went there to see Yao Ming. I have commented before how it bugs me when people wear the wrong team's jerseys to games. "I'm supporting the Washington Capitals by wearing an OV jersey to a game between two other teams!" Maybe that's what THEY'RE thinking. But the wrong sport? Sack of hammers...

Or, who knows, maybe this lady is happy because she bought her 240-dollar ticket for 37 bucks. Apparently that's the hit the scalpers outside the stadium were taking on tickets to this game. This Globe And Mail article talks about that and how the NHL blew it with this series. Those were the words of Phil Esposito who says he saw nothing of the game in the Chinese newspaper. Things I'd personally like to see: Phil Esposito reading a Chinese newspaper.

But his point is a good one. None of my students had heard about it. Few even know what hockey is. So they're not going to pay $240 to see a strange sport. Those are Vancouver prices that Hong Kong Chinese real estate flippers pay. To a regular Chinese person, that's a fortune! That's half a month's salary to the girl who acts as my translator and facilitator. And she works a lot of hours for free. And I think that's just what they SAY they will pay her! I was trying to get her to help me buy a ticket online and even she was having a hard time. We finally found a site and it was about 120 bucks and she said, "Should I pay for it then?" I asked, "Did you choose a seat?" She said she didn't. It was probably just some scammer posing as a ticket site. This is a very big problem in China. Along with countless other scams. So we didn't get that one. In the end I just decided not to go because with 5 new classes dumped on me this week, I've got heaps of planning to do. Plus, of course, I caught a cold. So I would have liked to go, but even though this is historic, it's not the end of the world.

And to be honest, these are pre-season games. Okay, they had the bigger names playing, but that might have made the game worse. These are the veterans who have a roster spot already. They're playing just hard enough not to get injured. If they'd included some rookies trying for a spot in the line-up, Brock Boeser perhaps, we might have seen somebody who wasn't floating out there. Nobody was hitting and there were no fights. Bring a young aspiring enforcer or power forward or two like Mike Mersch,, Zack MacEwen or Jonah Gadjovich and put them out on the ice at the same time long enough to build up some hatred for one another, there coulda been some fisticuffs. The Chinese media would have been all over THAT in the papers, you can bet a few RMB on it! This is the land of Kung Fu, Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee, Crouching Dragon Hidden Palace or whatever. It looked to some like the game in Beijing was kept close and then tied up late just showcase the penalty shot in China. I think they could have included the thing about hockey that gets more asses out of seats than an overtime, short-handed, championship-winning goal - a fight. Or at least a little bit of hitting and hard-nosed hockey.

And speaking of fighting... I am starting to tune into the martial art of fighting the Chinese employer. They are out to suck every Renminbi out of every employee and are, as I've argued a thousand times before, NOT clever about it. Which of the scams on that list above took above average cleverness? "Uh, hello? Tenant? What's yer name again? I, um, like forgot? Oh yeah, Mr. Shin. Uh, you know that landlord you have? Like for the house, I mean apartment, I mean PLACE where you live? Uh, yeah, well it's me. Yeah. And so like this month? Okay? This month I like, uh, changed my bank account? And my name? Okay? So we're gonna need you to, like put, you know, like whatever your rent is? um... like into this account? Okay? It's like, 2539887710 or something? Okay? And my new name is..." And people FALL FOR THIS!

"Okay, I work for this bank? You know? As you can see I have the uniform on? So like, as you know, banks are the honestest places to, um, like put lots of money into? Especially in China where nothing is, like regerulationed? So I will give you 10% interest, or something. No? Okay, 20% interest! Yeah? Okay so just hand over the money then. Account paperwork? No, see we can't do that? Cuzza like laws and stuff? And this is a SECRET account. We can't give this deal to everyone. I have known you for, like, um, 3 minutes and already I know you're, like, the kinda person who deserves this deal? You know? Oh and also? There's like a rule? Don't, um, like, check? The account? To like see if yer money's still there? Okay?" And people FALL FOR THIS!

And the people who do this. How can they live with themselves? It's a source of endless fascination to me! But the article explains it. The banks blame the customer for believing the people who offered high interest rates. Because, a bank that takes your money and invests it in things that only banks and privileged rich people are able to invest in, quadruples your money in a week? You know? They can, um, like only pay you like zero? Point 8 percent and stuff? They are absolutely no different than average scammers. No smarter either. It's just bullies who never grew up shaking people down for lunch money. And they sleep at night because of the con man mentality. "Wull, cuz, like, I'm smarter than you? Kay? So like, um, maybe next time someone like, um, tries to like scam you? Maybe you won't be stupider than, like that dude? And stuff? So like you really should be thanking me?"

I'm trying not to judge this whole country on the actions of the few I've seen but so many things that I see point to this finely honed martial art of thinking only of oneself and screwing everyone else! What might one call this art that has no less reverence and is probably even wider spread than Kung Fu? What is a name that cuts right to the very heart of this seemingly ubiquitous practice? I think the new Kung Fu should be called Fuk Yu.

People just don't wait for other people in this country. I explained about the walking. EVERY time I go for a walk, dozens of people cut in front of me and force me to stop. "Fuk Yu!" Every time I take a taxi or bus the driver pulls out in front of other people forcing them to stop, sometimes abruptly. "Fuk Yu!" I was hit by that scooter rider on one of the widest streets I've been on in my life! She had 30 yards either side but made a concerted effort to cut me off and make me stop. "Fuk Yu!" We only crashed because back then I was unwise in the ways of Fuk Yu. Like a young grasshopper I had to absorb its essence from my surroundings and I was not yet open to absorption.

This morning I rode the bus to the South Campus to teach 4 hours of classes to make up for classes missed on the upcoming Mid Autumn Festival. A common practice here in China. You get a day off for some long honoured traditional practice, and, because the bosses are masters of Fuk Yu, you have to come in on a Saturday to make up for it. So because of companies using this highly skillful Orange Crane deadly one hand strike, workers across the country honour their skill and get a day off, but don't really get a day off.

On the way to the bus I met with a lady I'd seen a few times and we'd ridden the bus together. She actually stopped me to ask the difference between Puritans and Pilgrims the other day. Her English is very good. But she is the kind of gal, not very common around here, who wears sunglasses even when it's not sunny? Who wears fashion a little younger than her, and puts on a bit too much make-up." I asked just as we reached the bus, "Are you teaching make-up classes today?" "Fuk Yu!"

It wasn't an intentional Green Cobra windpipe strike, it was just lucky. I am a good student and am progressing faster than Master Oogway predicted. I got on the bus and a few of the regulars, most of whom had never uttered a word of English, were laughing and giving me thumbs ups. AND speaking English! "Good make-up joke!" Again, there you go, being an asshole gets you further. This lady, before the bus even got underway, took out a pastry for her breakfast and before opening it asked me if I'd had breakfast. I ALWAYS eat breakfast but on this day I hadn't so I told her. She gave me her pastry. Be an asshole - get free food. Lesson learned.

The pastry, and this might say an awful lot about the person who gave it to me, was a ROSE flavoured pastry. I opened it on the bus just to taste and it had a very flaky and messy outer shell and, sure enough, the inside tasted exactly like a rose. I like the smell of roses but... I put it back in its wrapper and told her it was too messy to eat on the bus. I got to class early and ate as much of the pastry as I could without eating the rose flavoured centre. Ewww! But, on the way to class I explained to her the terms make-up exam and make-up class. Maybe she won't be so nice to me now. Or did she know I'd hate the rose pastry? Was she practicing some lesser known non-violent Buddhist Fuk Yu technique from the Temple of the Smiling Wren? This intrigues me...

So to the class. It was a make-up class and since this class would be ahead of others if I taught the next lesson in the curriculum, I just did something that I though would be fun for them. We went over basic vocab for describing people then I gave them the cards and questions from a game I made based on an old game my family used to play called "Whozit." You ask questions in turn to any of the people playing about the character they have on the card they got. I made cards like football player, rice farmer, movie star, used car salesman, (who has to lie), drill sergeant, (who only says NO), politician, (who says anything he wants), cheerleader, (who only says YES), game show host, anchorman, rapper, (who are Bob Barker, Will Farrel and Snoop Dog although none of my students recognize any of them). ONE girl recognized Marilyn Munroe as the movie star. ONE! But this was the least of my problems.

I just assumed the concept of taking turns could be handled by a group of university students. Nope. NObody was waiting for anybody! "Fuk Yu!" Just shoot off a question whether it's your turn or not. Then I saw several people lying. "Fuk Yu!" The person has the gameshow host, (Bob Barker), and is asked, "Are you old?" Answer: No. "Fuk Yu!" Everybody in the class was just doing the game the fastest and easiest ways they could think of, NOT the way that I explained, which is the FUN way. So they were figuring out everybody's characters, as a group, and nobody was winning. There was no competition. So they were not enjoying it and finishing way too early. It took me most of the two hours to finally get a couple of the better groups doing it right and they WERE enjoying it. But the whole class I was fighting against Fuk Yu again.

Anyway, the latest from work. This Saturday class fiasco from the hockey game day? It's now been extended to a permanent class on Saturday. "Fuk Yu!" I have a 22-hour week and they just can't find an opening for this class anywhere else? No, this is clearly Blind Cockroach school of Fuk Yu. But I am not giving in. I asked why not all of the other open slots in my schedule. These are 9-year-old kids and their reply was, "No they are studying at all of those times."  FUK YU! So I reply with, "So you are demanding that I teach on Saturday AND Sunday. Well first of all, I was promised two days off in a row in my job interview for this position. I made it clear that it was important to me. You're taking that away now? And secondly, Sunday is a stat. holiday. If you make me teach then, we have to come to a bi-lateral agreement on a substitute day off. I will agree only to the Saturday. So I will teach one or the other but not both." Hah! Spinning, flying roundhouse kick to the pelvis!

They reply with, "Okay, I see." Now I have them where I want. They were not expecting one so young in the ways of Chinese Fuk Yu to land such a devastating blow. They return with, "Okay Saturday class will be from blah to blah," giving me the time of one class not the other. I give them the Screeching Owl reverse psychology knife hand strike to the groin. "I think it would be easier to just make me work Saturday and give me the holiday off, but I will let the boss decide." The thing is, as I told you, I was already teaching 4 hours on Saturday at the South Campus. I didn't want to combine that with 4 hours at their office because including driving time, that's an 11-hour day. I'd rather just teach on the holiday. "Know your opponent grasshopper. If he is of choleric temper, expect contradiction and the opposite of what you request of him." I've told you of the total contradiction I consistently got at the contract-shattering meeting. I am beginning to understand my employer. So I threw that out there and waited for my opening like a tiger in the bulrushes. Finally, "Okay, there has been a change. Sunday at blah and then Sunday at blah you will have the two classes." They gave me two classes on the day I requested off. Fuk Yu! But little do they know, I totally blocked their offense. FUCK THEM!

This is what I've sunk to, folks! Constant fighting with the boss. But with any luck, this will remain the schedule for the remaining two months or so of teaching. And I'll still have my weekend. The ONE promise that vulnerably remains unbroken by these scammers.

Did I say, "With any luck?" Hah! And people call me a pessimist. I'm sure they'll still try to mess with me as much as they can. And I may end up quitting. I may end up losing my visa. I may end up having to leave China in a hurry and look for work somewhere else, with almost no notice. And I may have to leave some of my stuff behind, leave some of my pay behind, it could get really, really bad. But I can always find another job and get more stuff. Attachment leads to jealousy. The path to the dark side that is. Isn't that what Yoda said? HE could kick some azz too!

My two masters and guides in the art of Chinese Fuk Yu.

Ah, here it is... What better words to end this post by?

Poso-bots

A rough week! But it's my weekend. Last night I watched the very first NHL game played in China. It was a bit of a stinker. Not just because the Kings beat my Canucks 4-2 but because there were about 15 really chincy penalty calls. I guess they wanted to showcase the offensive side of the game to the Chinese. So there was power play after power play. Oh well, at least it shows us, ("us" meaning me and the Canucks), that our power play needs some work. I have to thank the people at On Hockey dot com for giving me the very first uninterrupted stream of ANYthing I've had since moving into this apartment. The picture was highly pixelated at times, but never cut out. Most of the time it was high def. I didn't have to pull the router plug, wait 10 seconds and plug it back in, reset my wifi or my VPN, refresh my screen, nothing. Everything went untouched for the entire duration of the hockey game! That was nice. The best part of my week.

During the early part of the week I was still fighting with Huasheng to pay me the housing allowance that they'd missed for July and owe me for my Sept. 15 pay for August. Overall I was owed 5000 RMB. Huasheng had paid me 2000 for July and they wanted to pay me 2000 for August. I brought up the housing allowance that I was supposed to have been paid EVERY month of my contract and had never been paid. I didn't ask for every month, just the months when I wasn't working. At the "Ow My Ass" meeting they promised to look into it. Three days after payday I was contacted via WeChat by the new HR girl. I dunno why I type "new," EVERYone is new at Huasheng. She says there is some misunderstanding. I was on my way to the right classroom for a class I had been sent to the WRONG classroom to teach so I didn't have time to get into any lengthy discussion. I said they owe me 5000 this month; 1500 housing allowance still owing from July and 3500 downtime pay and housing allowance for August. Nothing to discuss. She texts back to me, "No, they don't. They owe you only 2000 plus 1500 housing allowance for August. Pay when you're not working is special." I text back, "That is exactly what I just told you." She says, "Oh, I understand. I will make a report and give it to my boss." Which is who I had told at the meeting about this. So this was all just a ploy to waste time and surely enough, Sept. 20, five days late, I received 2000.

I relayed the story to the girl who alerted me to this housing allowance and assured me that it was the same in English and Chinese and they definitely DO owe me this, and she said, "Well at least you got your full downtime pay."

Then I was chatting on facebook about how I have an offer that is about a gozillion times better than the one I have here. I have two friends who have worked at this university and liked it. I think they've both worked there for over 3 years. The pay is 4500 a WEEK. The uni I teach at here is 7000 a MONTH. No kids, better hours, lots of really good bonuses, no 3-hour drives to and from classes, probably a kitchen sink in my apartment, and many other huge advantages over my current situation. But because of the insane rule recently instituted in China, (a country where business owners treat employees no better than the crud they scrape off the soles of their 500-dollar loafers), in order to transfer my work visa, I have to get a letter of recommendation from the people who are trying to force me to stay here so they can rip me off some more. Look, the girls who work with me as facilitators and translators all quit. We're on #8 now and I haven't been here a year. Why? Huasheng doesn't pay them! They keep them working for as long as it takes them to realize they're not going to be paid. Same with the drivers. I've known 4 of them. That might be hyperbole. They may receive a little, but, like me, it's not what they've earned. I'm worried they're not going to pay me everything I earn in September if ANY of it. So I looked at an offer from Victoria University in Shenyang. A colder, probably more fun place than Taiyuan. Everything is better about the offer and Donna, who is in charge of hiring, said with my education and experience, I am a good candidate. But she needed assurance that I can get three things, a copy of my degree stamped by a notary, (have one), a criminal record check, (I can get one in two weeks), and a letter of recommendation from my current employer.

Well I had to explain that my current employer broke the contract, tricked me into signing a full time contract with a secondary employer by promising many things that two weeks later they took away. So they offered me a contract nothing like the agreement they had promised. I refused it and quit. They threatened to revoke my work visa so fast I wouldn't be able to sleep in my own bed that very night. They also said they'd have me black listed. So I said to Donna that it would be a challenge to get a letter of recommendation from them but I could get one from the university I'm now working for. Would that be enough?

Probably because she thinks there will be difficulties in transferring the work visa, I have not heard back from Donna in three days. So in effect, Huasheng is not just withholding pay, they are keeping me from getting the best job I can get and in effect stealing my happiness and job satisfaction from me.

So I talk to long-time employee at this university and all around sensible person, Margie, and she says that at least if everything falls through with Huasheng I still have TUST. (Taiyuan University of Science and Tech). Yeah, instead of 18000 a month I have 7000 and whatever else Huasheng feels they want to chip in. I have instability, psychotic bosses, kids classes three hours away, all agita all the time. But yeah, great, at least I got that going for me...

Then yesterday I was chatting with a long-time friend and former colleague named Jessica, who still lives in Korea. She was saying she thought about China but she can't handle the air. Even her pets can't handle it. I'm like that too. Between the stress of Huasheng, (which I have no doubt affects my health), my cold, and this air, I've woken up two nights in a row now and coughed until I puked. So I'm telling Jessica about that and about being trapped here with a perfect job just waiting for me but I won't get it because of the cards all being in the hands of the employers of China and she says, "Well at least you're not working in a factory."

Now, I don't want to seem ungrateful, and please don't get me wrong, I appreciate all three of these gals and their attempts at encouragement, but at least I'm not having my liver pecked out all day every day by a crow but can't do anything about it because I'm tied to a rock and getting sunburned and eaten alive by mosquitoes and listening to K-pop music the whole time but I'm immortal so I re-live the same excruciation every day. So, you know, THAT'S a positive too.

This is another example of what I'm constantly bellyaching about. People think THAT stuff is positive and my bellyaching is negative. The "Wellatleast" thinkers believe they're being positive, but I'm sorry, I'd rather be a "Wellatmost" type thinker. For example, well at most I'd be able to apply for that job at Victoria University in Shenyang and if I get it, go and teach there because nobody should be able to trap me in a job through lies and deceit. Or is that negative thinking?

Well at most I think even though I'm in China, the laws of this country should not be so favourable to the employers and nobody should be able to have ANYBODY working for them without pay. Or is that negative thinking?

Well at most I believe people in jail for victimless crimes like marijuana and tax evasion should be immediately released and REAL criminals like the sociopaths in business, banking and politics who think nothing of cheating others, making people work for free, even killing people, should take their places. Sorry to think all negatively like that.

Well at most I KNOW there is more than enough of EVERYTHING on this planet so we could all not only have what we need, but, (within reason), just about everything we want as well, if we only taxed the rich the way we tax the middle class. Working our asses off for survival is slavery. But then I'm harshing your mellow and you need to remove negativity like that from your lives, don't you?

I'm NOT a negative thinker, I just don't believe I should settle for a shit life that I don't deserve. I'm honest, smart and a hard worker. Always have been. I could have GONE to the hockey game in Beijing tomorrow afternoon. But because I have four new classes and little to no guidance in any of them, I have to pull some curricula outta my ESL Pandora's orifice that will keep the students, bosses AND mothers happy. Plus I have a brutal cold, AND tickets are impossible to get.

Twice the schedulers changed the room for my new classes without telling me so I had to solve THOSE problems. Me. A guy who is new here, doesn't know the college yet AND speaks no Chinese. I don't think my one Chinese phrase, "I am a Canadian person." would have helped to find my classrooms. One of those classes I asked for any advice I could get and said, "English level, number of students, textbook, any guidance at all," while asking. I was told I'd get some but never did. I got to the class and they had a textbook. So when I confronted the person who had promised to give me help in that class, he apologized and said he had told the students to tell me about the book.

Well at most I wish my coworkers would do their jobs and when they don't do them the LEAST they should be able to do is not tell me OBVIOUS lies to cover their asses.

I was texted by another co-worker during a class. Actually she called and I refused her call. One, I was teaching, and two, her name didn't come up on the screen, just the number so I didn't know it was her. Then she texted. The day before she had texted me, "When you get spare time I need you to come to my office and sign for your September pay." I was walking from my wrong classroom to my correct classroom when I got the text so I just put, "My pleasure." as a reply. I had no time that day because, remember, Huasheng has more than doubled my work/driving time since they shattered my contract illegally. So on THIS day she texted how she had waited all day for me the day before. Like I'd stood her up for the prom or something. And she said I needed to come to her office and sign. I said that I'd be free after the class I was teaching. She really SHOULD know I was teaching at that time. She has my schedule. I said I finished at 12. She said I needed to go to her office between 9 and 12 or 3 and 5. I told her I couldn't that day because I had to teach. Her response was, "So?" Then next text, "Every day?" And then, "Well we won't be able to pay you then."

I said, "Take it easy, I'm sure we can find a simpler solution to this problem than not paying me." And now IN MY CLASS I am texting like a Banshee, something I forbid my students to do. I say, "I am free tomorrow afternoon and all day Friday. Or you could slip the paper under my door right now." Her office is 2 floors from my apartment in the same building.

Later that day I found out that this same sack-o-hammers is the mystery person who told Huasheng that classes at this school are 45 minutes long. She's worked here for plenty long enough to know better than that.

Well at most I'd LOVE to work with people who are of at least average intelligence and who, at the very very least don't cost me money. But, talking with another person about this incident I got, "Well, it was probably a communication problem. She probably didn't mean to be rude. There must have been some misunderstanding. I'm sure YOU'RE BEING TOO NEGATIVE ABOUT THIS.

Folks, I don't think I am. I think a helluva lot of people around this world are conditioned into being far too quasi-positive. They're not being positive, they just think they are. And because they think they're so positive, they think it behoves them to spread the positivity to the masses. Like a virus. I sometimes feel like when I'm telling the actual truth, one of these poso-bots hears me, makes a big O with his, (or most often her), mouth and screeches like a body snatcher, "OOOOOhhh, negativity! Negativity!"

But, I dunno. Maybe it's just me.

The Fascinating Psychology of Assholery

Just look at these two smiling faces. This is something that astounds me, intrigues me, fascinates me almost, but not quite, to the point of a smidgen of respect. How can these assholes do it?

The one ran for government and lost. He's an electrician who has lobbied against the Ontario College of Trades which is, as its name might imply, a college that teaches people and certifies them to work in skilled trades like construction, cement finishing, and, hey, even electrician work. He claimed that there was too much bureaucracy and huge fees. (His company paid the "huge" amount of 100 bucks a year it says in the article) He spent a lot of time slagging the college.

Well now, he's on the board of governors of the Ontario College of Trades. In the above pic he's smiling next to Stephen Harper, a man who was the worst PM Canada ever had, and who hurt average Canadians more than any man ever. A couple of the other antisocial personalities he hangs out with are listed in the article. They are all this kind of person that intrigues me. The way that serial killers intrigue me. Or people who never bathe or cut their fingernails. Or people who drink their own urine or tie heavy weights to their balls. They're all deviants on the same scale but money has made some of them socially acceptable.

I am positive this picture has been taped to many a Canadian dartboard and been viewed with comments to the effect of, "The dynamic dickheads," or "Which one's the giant douche and which one's the turd sandwich?" or you can make up your own. People hate these guys. And for good reason. But do they look like they care? No. In fact it is with endless fascination that I see guys like these, Trump, and businesspeople I have dealt personally with, (see last post), almost TRYING to get people to hate them. Like they are nourished by our hatred.

I have a theory that they believe they are more clever than us, deserve more money and power than us, and the hatred comes from jealousy. Or at least they have built that false idea up in a well constructed mental defense mechanism inside their heads. In truth it is what I call "don'tgiveashit" that allows them to be completely unprincipled and consider it a savvy business skill.

It doesn't take wit, brains or cleverness to lie, cheat and steal. It takes "don'tgiveashit." I can attract a person to a job with a contract full of big promises, then break the contract and cut the earnings and benefits to a fraction of what was promised, but I would never do that because I care what people think of me and I have a conscience. I KNOW it IS personal when you do crap like that and it is NOT just business. People like the above get a lot of mileage out of that phrase, but is business really just cheating, lying and stealing? It very well may be, but I give a shit, I see a problem with that. Dickheads like these guys depend on the majority of people either NOT seeing a problem with slimy business practices being the norm, or seeing the problem and doing nothing about it.

A fascinating moment in my "negotiations" the other day was when my boss fabricated a 45-minute class at the university where I'm teaching now. Along with a mystery informer who told her of these non-existent 45-minute classes. When the two of them just kept repeating this lie despite an official schedule right in front of them disproving their statement, along with school bells and the word of a 21-year veteran that there have never been 45-minute classes, they kept saying it like they believed they had the power to speak it into existence. Then when I finally relented and said, "Whatever, it doesn't matter. 5 minutes is no big deal," there was a palpable relief. Almost like the relief one feels after a nice meal. Like they believed they had finally shown themselves to be smarter than me by tricking me, and they needed that sustenance to maintain their business egos. Also, it wasn't just that they had done something good for themselves, it felt as though they believed they had done something good for ME!

To this point in the proceedings I had called them out on every attempt at deception and they were getting demoralized. The maximum 20 hours of work was never accompanied by 20 office hours a week. It wasn't in the contract and knowing that some schools expect office hours, I had asked about it in my interview and had been told that no office hours were required. The boss, during all the bad news, smiled at me and said to me, like she thought I was a 3-year-old, "But there is good news for you! You don't have to do any of the 20 office hours in your contract." I said, "Well that's handy cuz I don't have an office any more." This was met with, "WHY DON'T YOU, WHY CAN'T YOU.... YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND OUR POSITION!"

When I started, Huasheng had a contract with #5 high school. That's where I was hired to teach and that's where the majority of my teaching took place. But I had small classes and some of my students from them told me stories about how their parents and the parents of other students feel about Huasheng and it was roughly the way I now feel about them. A bunch of crooks. So there wasn't much chance of getting enough work from #5 school. In fact, they LOST the contract. That's why every last one of the other teachers there quit and that's why they are locking us out of classrooms. And that's why I no longer have my office at #5 school. They still, however, proudly display the pamphlet at the Huasheng offices, that announces their affiliation with #5 because, like with me and my good reputation, they are hoping to improve THEIR low prestige through association rather than, you know, actually doing a good job.

Besides, with the way they removed breaks and added hours and hours of travel time, I'll be working or travelling to or from work, well OVER 40 hours a week. So it was a deke that I easily read. So were not being paid for breaks or travel time. It's a catch 22. The con-man mentality, which I've explained before, is the dominant business mentality in China. It was explained to me by a Chinese person. The same letters appear in the word "cheat" as in the word "teach." They believe that when they cheat you, they are doing you a favour and making you wiser so you won't get cheated again. But then there's this anger they feel when you catch them trying to cheat you. It's almost like they are angry that you are not letting them teach you a lesson. Like an unruly student. "Shut up and let me cheat, I mean teach you!"

I'll give you another example from my daily life here. I recently bought some cookware. It was on sale but it wasn't especially cheap. This is because it has the special bottoms that are usable with my hotplates. All other pots and pans, (like the ones I owned), don't work. It's like Apple making only their, more expensive programs, usable on their devices. Everything else is incompatible. It's a dick move. But there's more. The cooking surfaces, (the opposite of the bottoms), are also a problem. They are a shiny black material that is extraordinary! I've never known any material to which food more readily and firmly sticks. So you have to wonder at the mind that invented this surface. Did that person think it should be used as an adhesive? No. That person went out of his/her way to bring this hell into people's lives. "I'll show the world! I'll use it for cookware! Mwuhahahaha!

I stand over the pot with pasta in it constantly stirring and STILL there will be some stuck. Washing is more like sanding down the pasta deposits on the bottom of the pot. Everything! I cook noodles and there are little seaweed leaves SUPERGLUED to the sides of the pot. Again I can't wash them off, I need to sand them off.

There has got to be a cheaper to manufacture surface that could have been used. It's like they WANT to cause others pain, inconvenience and harm. I tell you there is pure evil in this world of ours.

The mystery is, how do they become like this? What causes them to lose their "giveashit?" Weren't they hugged enough? Is it something they were born with? I've spent my whole life trying to be good and honest not just so others will like me, but partly because of that. I can't imagine enjoying bringing sadness or pain or harm to others. Is it cultural?

The Italian word "mafia" means swagger or bravado. The kind of egotistical overconfidence that it takes to say, "Hey, maybe you don't want me to, but I am going to take care of you. You don't know it, but you can't take care of yourself. You're not smart enough or powerful enough. You need someone as awesome as me to protect you, to govern you. What if, (God forbid, genuflection), SOMEone should throw a rock through your window or all the windows on this street, or, Madonne a mi, fly a plane into a skyscraper or two, then what could you do? I can protect you. Now, it's gonna require a little payment on your part for the privilege of my protection, which you don't want. And if you don't pay this protection "TAX" we'll call it, then we're gonna have to hurt you a little bit. And your family. And your pets. And..."

My theory on this, and it's all psychology so purely speculative, is that mafia, captains of industry and government are largely made up of these egomaniacs who put SO much energy, time and thought into their love affairs with themselves that none is left to care about anyone else. This is why antisocial personalities, people with personalities overflowing with don'tgiveashit, are the absolute perfect world leaders, C.E.O.'s and mafia bosses. And this is why they all think nothing of making decisions that kill people no matter how directly or indirectly. Witness Trump in one of my earlier posts saying in an interview, as though he was okaying a new traffic light, "I don't like killing people but sometimes it's got to be done."

That's Europe and North America infected with this mental illness. Let's now fly to Asia. I once heard a comedian, it might have been Russell Peters,

 saying how when you bargain with some people the price might be 100 bucks and you could offer maybe 70 or something. Anything less and they'll just laugh and ignore you. But with the Chinese you could offer 10 bucks and they will start bargaining. They won't let you go either. They'll bargain for 20 minutes to get your offer up to 10.50 from the original price of 100. I'm wondering if my contract that went from Huasheng paying me 15000 RMB per month to 2000 a month was an example of the opposite of this. But I hate worse than death doing "business!" I HATE negotiations or any talking at all about money with my boss! And I NEVER bargain when I shop. I prefer to shop where the price is the price. No haggling.

My friend Heather thinks I should open my own English hagwon in Korea. I said to her that just these last few days of nonsense has taken a year off my life. I can't imagine what working every day with Korean mothers of my school's students would do to me! I just don't have the "don'tgiveashit!"

I was not interested in another second of haggling with Huasheng so I quit. Take it or leave it. I quit, was my offer. And I won. For now. But if they find someone who will work for 14000 a month, I might be out of a job. Or if they go out of business. It's another month till I get paid. If I actually DO get paid from them again. This will be interesting.

I wonder what this sort of personality does with bankruptcy. I guess Trump has a good model. He just sues the people he owes money to. So maybe in the next few months I'll be getting paid the 15000 a month I signed for, or maybe they'll sue me for something. Hey, it's nothing personal, it's just business.

BAH! It's just mental illness is what it just IS! Leastaways, that's what I reckon.

Ow My Ass!

Might as well start this one now with the memory of getting the wrong end of the pineapple still freshly chafing my sphincter. It was a matter of time. If you've kept up with the blogging, you know I've been treated pretty shabbily here by my employer Huasheng of Taiyuan. And as I saw the wheels coming off all around me, I chose to remain with them despite EVERY other employee quitting. I was warned by well-meaning co-workers, but I thought I'd try to soldier on because I JUST DON'T WANT TO CHANGE JOBS AGAIN! Why oh why dear LORD can't I find a job that's even half way decent in the ESL racket??!!

Just a brief recap: I started here in 2016 after abandoning the Renmin nonsense. I had a visit with friends in Jan. of 2017 in Korea and came back to move from Beijing to Taiyuan into my mosquito breeding apartment. I'd share a tour of it here but I still don't know how to make the movie file small enough to be shared on Blogger. Anyhoo, it was big, nice, cheap and a thousand times better than my hostel room in Beijing. So I was happy. I was interviewed by Josh and Faith and they told me good things about Huasheng. The best thing was that they don't mess with you. You have complete classroom autonomy. Something very important to a guy like me who employs far too modern, (and effective), teaching techniques for the "traditional" education system of China. They don't have an alphabet so they have to memorize characters. They get used to memorization and that's the way they end up learning Errrr verythang! But it's not good for natural English acquisition.

I GOT free reign in the classroom for the first half of my contract with Huasheng. I had small classes too. The only class I was micromanaged in was a class of three kids that was an add-on to my schedule. We used a book that suited their teacher's style, not mine. Their teacher was a Chinese gal named Zoe. She was nice. Joshua's wife. But she taught the traditional, Chinese way. Well, the two boys responded WELL to my teaching methodology, which was a departure from the boring book, but the girl was quiet. In the end the boys quit because they couldn't afford the class and the girl stayed. But her father came to class one day and asked me about her. I told him to ask her if she really wanted to study English, (knowing that she SUPER didn't!). He did, and that week was her last. This will come up later. Remind me if it doesn't.

So, yesterday I was told I needed to teach a class that I'd taught once before. Well, "taught." I was told by one person I needed to teach 5 12-year-olds writing and reading. I got to the class and asked Diana, the owner of Huasheng, what she wanted me to do and she said, "They want to learn listening and speaking." Then the students started arriving. Then 3 parents for every student arrived. All female, of course. The dreaded mothers. And maybe a few Aunts? I dunno. Then Diana and her team started arranging the classroom into a giant circle. The students and the parents were sitting there and Diana kept glancing at me expectantly. I was told I just had to teach a lesson. I chose a lesson from an online site I like about a Chinese guy who lost an expensive engagement ring in a restaurant and it was handed in by an honest patron so he bought 500 people free noodles. Shan Xi province is notorious for noodles so I thought this would be a good lesson. It had grammar exercises, speaking, listening, reading and writing exercises. The kids all said they liked it and they used the vocab and grammar points well in their lesson.

But this was not just an evening where I was supposed to teach a lesson even though that's all that I had been told. No, I was to sell a product on the night. Diana gathered everyone and made a massive speech like the commencement of the Olympic Games or something and then turned to me. I shrugged and said, "Diana, I have no idea what you said or what you want me to do here." Brilliant! Now the parents think both the owner and the teacher are morons! She then talked a LOT more in Chinese and then most of the mothers left and I was told to teach the lesson. I had to advanced kids, two intermediate kids and one very beginner boy. That took me 2 minutes to ascertain. So I set my level appropriately and taught the lesson. I had positive reactions and participation from all but the one glaring mother who remained behind. I don't know her story.

Last night I had the low student, (who I worked one on one with on the pair work cuz no partner was his level), one of the intermediates and a new boy. Three of the students, including the high level students, who obviously enjoyed my lesson the most, were missing. I was told the week before that their textbook, "Go For It" was finished by all of them. I looked through it and the topics seemed okay but it was a bit grammar and vocab heavy. I decided not to use it since they'd completed it. DUH! Well, this week the students had NOT completed it. That's the new story. In fact, some of the parents... oh shit, if you are an ESL teacher you know where this is going and it's a nightmare, suggested that I teach the book. I didn't think this was a terrible idea even though it wasn't the best. The topics were commonly used in good ESL environments. So we started on the book, which was NOT what I had planned. I noticed the answers were coming too easily and sure enough, two of the three students had the book and the answers were filled in. The new guy had forgotten his book, but had also studied the same stuff. I was then told that some mother or other had suggested that I RE-teach the book the students all used in their other English class. Taught by a Chinese person. Sometimes good, sometimes not. I dunno in this case. Not the re-teaching! NEVER good! Abysmally ignorant educational philosophy! Moronity! But their teacher, I have no idear. What was stupid was this whole Mother-suggested, micromanaged class. Then the height of stupidity: in the car on the way home, Sara, who had stood in the classroom the whole ill-fated lesson says to me, "The students say your lesson was too easy." Do you think it might be because I was teaching them something they had done in the classroom the day before? But this is how a poorly managed ESL school works. The owner desperately tries to use the stupid suggestions from parents, the students complain because the suggestions were stupid, then the parents complain to the school or just pull their kid out, then the teacher gets blamed. That's another new wrinkle to my contract: I will make 130 an hour and if the dynamic dipshits Diana and Liu find more students even though NObody wants to study at their "school," I get more. But, if a student is lost, my salary goes down.

With the translator, Sara there, and Diana sitting on a bed, and at the halfway break saying, "Not 10 minutes, 5 minutes!", I managed to get through the lesson. Why was Diana on the bed? Well it's a really good example of why Huasheng has an absolute shyte reputation in this town and why it only attracts bad parents and bad students. We got to the school, (the number 5 school where I had worked for the first part of my contract), and the building was locked. We got the key to the building and the CLASSROOM was locked. This has always puzzled me about #5 school, which is a very reputable school, and Huasheng, which is shyte. I had been locked out of the school several times before. Is Huasheng paying for classroom usage or just using empty rooms and paying nothing? Why would they be locked out so often? And why would #5 school tell them they can't use their school any more? (which is a fact even though, they ARE still using it)

I think they are just high jacking empty rooms for free. A brilliant money-saving technique by Huasheng! Many more to follow. So we got the security guard to open the school. Then, sure enough, the CLASSROOM had a NEW padlock on it. So we had to resort to a dorm room for a student that was empty. It had one desk and just enough chairs. So Diana had to sit on the bed. Which she did, scowling the whole time.

I had heard from students that I taught, and there weren't many of them, at #5 school that Huasheng and Diana were rip off artists. They had cheated the students and their families. They had lied about how they needed a lot of money to put into the education of the kids, but how it all went to pay for Diana's boy being educated in the U.S. Chinese gossip like anyone else in the world.

I had watched as several people, including Faith, the best English/Chinese foreign teacher co-ordinator EVER, just quit because of the crappy treatment at Huasheng. I kept on. As I say, I don't know why. I was told by others to jump ship and I was sure they were right. I'd heard horror stories aplenty of what Mr. Liu and Diana did to screw other workers but I just thought that maybe, somehow it would be different for me. Even though the first half of my contract included 4 visa runs paid for by me, (even though no other schools make foreign teacher pay for visa runs), a two month delay before your first paycheck they don't mention in the contract, and landlords in the area expecting an entire year of rent paid up front. I, with the help of the erstwhile Faith, was able to pay only 3 months, but after a move and all the other expenses, I was broke.

But I made it. I got through that tough part. Then there were two or three months when Huasheng had the tough part of paying me 15000 RMB. During that time EVERYBODY but me quit. Then, two months of not working. And not getting paid. Much. I got 2000 for July even though I taught a bit and my contract stipulates I should have received 3500 for it. I mentioned this to Diana on the night I'm writing about and she faked ignorance as well as she could after trying desperately to tell me that the August pay won't be until Sept. 15. I'm talking about July pay. August 15th I got 2000 and should have received 3500. It took about 20 minutes for her to stop acting like she didn't understand and say, (and we'll see if she actually does this or not), that she will look into this. I'll probably have to bring this up again when August pay is only 2000. That's how they roll here. No surprise. This absolutely elementary denial of fact, straight contradiction and getting angry when you are the one who deserves the anger are all considered brilliant business tactics here in China if Huasheng is any indication of the country's business.

But the nickel and diming I expected. What wasn't expected was a complete change of contract and a rigid sigmoidoscoposcapy for doing nothing but being a good, faithful employee. I didn't work (much), for two months even though I had offers because I wanted to honour my contract. I've remained faithful. I haven't broken the contract, though I could have. What do I get for that? The rodgering of the century. Here's how it went down:

I arrive at the appointed appointment time and see Mr. Liu go into another room of the Huasheng office to do an interview. Everybody who has ever worked at Huasheng has a shelf life of about 2 months or less. The interview went on for over an hour. I commented to Sara that it was a long interview for a short job. I don't know if she got that or not. I also saw Ms. Diana go into another room. The classic power tactic: let the other guy wait for you to establish some sort of fake authority. Fucking amateurs! I KNOW this was in response to my refusing to teach a bullshit sample class of 9 year olds to see if they liked the performance of the dancing bear enough to sign up for a class. I said that, due to our ongoing negotiations, I cannot teach this class because I am not under contract to you any more. Well this obviously pissed them off. I have to admit it felt good to get a little dig in, but I was to be vastly outdug.

The interview finished and I engaged in smalltalk with Liu for 20 seconds. How was the U.S. where you made SHIT TONS of money on kids camps that only the rich coal barons of Taiyuan could afford to send their children to? I didn't quite say that. He said it was good. I told him my summer was boring as shit waiting for work and getting daily transfusions by mosquitoes. Then he says, "There must have been some big misunderstanding. I was busy all day and didn't get your message till right now." I sent the message at 9 in the morning. It was about 6. Really? REALLY? you're THAT busy? First lie of MANY on the night.

He says you really misunderstand our position here. You are still under the same contract. You are not without a contract. So there was no reason to cancel the class tonight. The girls had a hard time telling the parents the class was cancelled. I didn't say, but that was HIS fault for, as he always does, ignoring my text message. Then he says, "What gave you the idea you are not under the same contract?" I said that the night before Diana had outlined a deal in which my contract totally changed and I was not going to make 15000 a month any more but 7 thou from the university, (TYUST), and only the max of 3000 from Huasheng. For the next 4 months that is actually 3000, 3000, 2000, and 2000. So 10 thou instead of the 60 thou we have a contract for. At first he tried to say it was just bad translation by Sara, but I told him, no, Diana wrote the figures down herself. Well he went ballistic. "How can you come in here and accuse, blahda blahda fake angera... I started foaming at the mouth and getting ready to punch his nose through the back of his head. I couldn't talk because of anger induced cotton mouth so I excused myself and got some water. I got back and we started again. I said to him, "Look, we are grown boys here, no need to play games or engage in office politics. I know I am here to negotiate and I'm not going to get extra. I'm going to lose money. I'm just here to find out how much I'm going to lose." He smiled at this.

Then we went into the "board room." Sufficiently late I guess they thought to repay me for cancelling the class cuz I just don't like to teach illegally while I'm not under contract. So Liu starts out with, "You are still under contract with Huasheng. You are still our employee and still will make the same salary." I said, "That's great! Okay meeting adjourned, let's go!" Everyone chuckled nervously then he said, "But, you said you are here to lose money. So let's continue..."

For what seemed like 3 hours, and might have been, Diana read a rough draft of my new contract rider, which was to be added to the TYUST contract even though it stated itself to be the contract with priority. Cart before the horse. I brought up this saying three times during the proceedings. I tried to get down to brass tacks to make the night shorter cuz I knew nobody in the room was being paid for this and I said, "Okay, with the rate you have told me Huasheng will pay, (8000 a month plus the TYUST 7000 to equal the contractual 15000 that they STILL lied to me and maintained I would be getting), and the hours available to you given the TYUST 16 hours a week, it works out to 500 RMB per hour, which is outrageous. I understand you're struggling, so I'm willing to try to make a compromise on the salary."

I was told to forget about that an listen to Diana. She went on and on for an hour mostly about small details in the contract that were obvious. Like, I now live in the free accommodation on campus at TYUST so Huasheng won't pay for my housing allowance any more. But before long it got into the guts of their ploy. "The year end bonus of at least 5000 RMB will be paid in Feb. You will be on leave so you will only receive 2000 RMB. That makes 7000. RIGHT but only if you pay me the fucking MINIMUM bonus! That went unnoticed, of course because nobody gets anything but. "Well, according to your contract with TYUST, you will be paid 7000 for that month, so we won't give you your bonus for finishing the one year contract with Huasheng."

Of course I told him that the 7000 from TYUST will be vacation pay. The 7000, or really what I had told Liu before should be MORE than 5000 given all the visa runs I'd done at my own expense and he said we'd negotiate when that time comes, would not be paid at all because I'd already be getting 7000 from the university. Apples and bowling balls, I told him. Again he got pissed off because another obvious cheat had been detected. So I plead for a while but he wasn't giving up so I wrote it on my paper.

Next I think it was the plane fare. The contract stipulated 12000 RMB for plane fare to be paid at the end of the contract. Well, the TYUST contract stipulates 14000 RMB so we won't pay you and we'll let you receive even more from TYUST at the end of your contract with them. I said, "Well that's going to be postponed for like 9 months because I signed my contract with them not even a month ago and I should get that from you in a few months." The response was direct contradiction. No, you won't  have your plane fare postponed. Why do you keep complaining? Why can't you understand our situation?"

Ummmm, YES, that plane fare will be postponed for a long time. What if I want to go home before then? They don't give a rip.

Then came another lie. Somebody, (they made up), had told them that TYUST classes are actually 45 minutes long. No, I have been told they are 50 minutes long; the schedule we BOTH have shows they are 50 minutes long; Margie, who has worked here since '96, says they are 50 minutes long; ALL ESL classes are 50 minutes long; "well no, somebody told us they're 45 minutes long."

I was trying to be affable, still not knowing THIS scam, and said, "Great, if that's the case, I teach a bit less. But it's not that big a deal 5 minutes." Well Diana knew a way to make it a big deal. She said, "So that means your 16 hour week is actually only 10.5 hours. This way you can work 9.5 hours for Huasheng." So I say, "Oh I get it, you're not paying me for breaks, bonuses or driving time." Let me point out, Liu, that you told me Huasheng is not saving money on this contract adjustment. I have a whole list of ways you are saving Huasheng money at MY expense. Again the feeble, "Well, you just don't understand our evil culture of greed. And angrily and with hostility shouting me down. That's awesome. AGAIN the faked anger at my inconsolable RIGHTNESS.

So they managed to extend my hours to almost 30 and with the driving time it'll be 40. I told them yesterday 40 hours is too much for a teacher. But driving time is considered unpayable time, just as sitting in a room translating and working very hard is considered unpayable time for Sara at Huasheng. And waiting for this endless meeting and driving me home is considered not payable time for the driver.

There is an 18 month MASSIVE bonus that was not mentioned in the whole proceedings. It's pretty obvious that this fish fence of a business with employees popping in and out every few days NEVER has anyone reach the 18 month mark so they never have to worry about this clause. But it's  a bonus I'll never see. I don't intend to work any longer than my contract for these losers, if that. I'll look at their contract, they promised it Friday, and I'll work, against my will, illegally AGAIN for them until that time. I'll probably see all kinds of bullshit and frankly, I think they want me to quit to save them the price of firing me. At least 5 times during his fake anger tirades Mr. Liu said, "We could always just end the contract now." and when I commented on how hostile he was, (which of course he countered with direct contradiction), I mentioned these comments. His response was that Diana had said this TEN times. So if you think Liu is the only villain here...

Back to Faith. She told me of a massive screw job she got from Huasheng and in particular Liu. She called him a "bastard" which was cute cuz she never swears. He IS a bastard, but Diana is also complicit in these shady dealings. The hardest part of the whole thing is they maintained the fantasy that I didn't see right through their obvious deception and tried to intimate to me how they wanted to maintain a long term relationship of trust and good will with me. When in fact, they want to maintain a long term relationship of conniving and cheating with me. Yet another employer who has mistaken my kindness for weakness. How could I have EVER NOT expected that in China? I guess I just have a habit of hoping for people to rise above their stereotypes. But am more often than not disappointed.

Okay, so at the end, I say to them that I have seen 1000 places go into receivership if I've seen one, when the owners surrender control to the parents. You have to trust your teacher. I have 20 years of experience, 6 recognized teaching certs, I've written two ESL books, I've had those books used with great success by other teachers, I've created hundreds of my own lessons and games which have also been used with success by anyone who has tried them, I've hobnobbed and workshopped with people in the industry, I've read and studied educational materials, I've taught at some of the best ESL schools anywhere, WHY would you not trust me? Why did you hire me?

This is what I ended with saying that letting parents decide my curriculum or sit in on classes or do anything but drop their kids off and fuck off was disrespectful to me. Back to my last year in Korea, where I lost all classroom autonomy and my two psychotic bosses started telling me to do everything wrong. Here we go again. Everything they're doing and asking me to participate in is the dying breath of a failing "school." Having the sample classes where I dance like a trained bear to amuse student is an obvious ploy of a failing school. Letting parents take charge - and invitation for disaster. Parents in the classroom? Ludicrous! But they're doing it all here and asking me to come along for the ride into the dusty depths of hagwon failure. I asked if they though Harvard ever accepted advice from students' parents or agreed to their professors teaching free sample classes. But they're too stupid to listen. This place will be out of business in a year unless Diana is ridiculously rich. And if she is, SHE OWES ME A TON OF MONEY!

I have agreed to teach ILLEGALLY AGAIN for three days for them. Tomorrow's class? I go to that abandoned school in the sticks of Taiyuan and teach 50 students. No idea of their level or what our goal will be. Liu said to get to know them then suggest something. For 50 people. Easy peasy, we'll read the dictionary and memorize definitions. After that "English Corner." I'm supposed to know what this means. I assume it's a less studious, less "traditional" fun English exercise. So I say, "So these are both for an hour? Well actually Diana says, 45 minutes. Maybe THAT'S where she got the mysterious 45 minutes from. In both classes students will be deciding on whether they want me as their teacher or not. Teachers, probably parents, Sara and Diana will also be there. Fun eh? Friday they tell me they will show me the contract in written form. It should have been done 2 weeks ago but when I said that Mr. Asshole, I mean Liu, just got fake angry and overvolumed.

I am almost sure I will read it and find it totally unacceptable. After that I may ask them to just let me transfer my visa to the uni I'm working at now or I may find YET ANOTHER job in this fickle field. Only time will tell.

So was that a scary tale, boys and girls? It is! Don't go to China to work! It can be a horror story!

Wait, there's just a bit more! I told you to remind me about the story of the girl who quit. There has been ONE student who has quit so far since I have been working at Huasheng. It was no coincidence that she was brought up as a last resort of a feeble mind at tonight's kangaroo court. At the very end Liu says, "Do you remember..." It was a girl who hated studying English. In that class that I hated teaching. The boring class with Zoe's curriculum. Her father came in one day and asked me what the future held for his daughter. I didn't lie to him, I just said, "Ask her." She had been quiet, as I said before, but also constantly tired and bored and given to minimalistic answers when prompted. It wasn't hard to tell that her father was wasting his money with this one. I did the right thing. Tonight Huasheng told me she was signed up for another two months of classes. To make me feel like there was something I had done to cost them money, perhaps to justify the theft of so much money from me.

I don't know, but it was pretty weak.

So, I think my choice boils down to teaching my 14-18 hour a week sched. at TYUST and working an extra 25-30 hours a week for the losers at Huasheng and getting paid about12000 RMB in total, OR working for TYUST, getting their 7000 a month and doing part time classes with mostly adults, mostly one on one and all at a better rate with no crap attached. 10 hours a week with THEM will net me 13000 RMB in total. And since they eliminated ALL of the bonuses I've been awaiting at Huasheng, I don't see much of a decision here.

Faith told me it might be possible to ask the uni for a raise since they ARE paying the lowest wage in China and they have two excellent teachers, if I do say so myself. I'll just wait and see.

A third option would be to just find another job. Three in a year! Yeehaw, my goal of stability sure isn't getting any closer!

Addendum: I was on my 4th beer when I started this. A little harsh, but not completely off the mark. Well, today I quit my job. (the day after this incident) I said that offer is unacceptable and I can't imagine you, with all the financial difficulties you are going through now, will be able to offer me what I need. I was just on my way up to the office of the foreign language department to ask if they could transfer my work visa to the uni and I got a message from Mr. Liu saying they will pay me 8000. That equals out to the 15000 a month of our original contract. It's what they promised me more than once. So now I have UNquit my job. But given this whole experience, I think I'll work to the end of December and then that'll be it. If the company survives that long.

Addendum II: I am also back to the drawing board looking for new jobs because I don't know yet whether they REALLY want me for the remainder of my contract or whether they're not just telling me they'll pay me what they promised in order to give them time to hire someone else, then turf me. For all I know, (I don't get paid for September until October 15th), come payday, they could just say the same crap about falling on tough times and not pay me at all or pay me the 2000 they want to pay me. NOTHING would surprise me here any more.

Addendum III: This is starting to look like my contract! It's now four days past payday and I haven't even been paid the 5000 for my work in July and August. What hope do I have of actually getting paid the full amount I'm owed on October 15th? I'd say very little. That being the case, every hour I work for these crooks, (which also includes 2 -3 hours of driving time), is an hour of free work. I applied to a couple places today. Got a response from one. Should be able to set up a Skype interview for tomorrow. This is looking more and more like I'll quit before September is out. The worst part about it is the Canucks are playing LA in Beijing on the 23rd and I just don't think it's wise to go. Tickets were a nightmare to get anyway. Even for Chinese friends. But then there seems to be an added challenge to almost everything I do here. Because... China!

May You Live In Interesting Times

Well, I'm all moved out of the mosquito den and into my on campus apartment at Taiyuan University of Science and Technology, hereafter to be called TYUST or TUST. I called it TUST before I saw that most people around here call it TYUST. Either or. No biggie.

So a LOT has happened in a short time and there's no way one blog post will cover it. In true international ESL modus operandi, everything has been done very last minute and with minimal foresight or planning. But, while this used to get me growly, I now expect it to happen. Cuz it always does. And if it doesn't, what a nice surprise! Manufactured positivity. Or what did I call it in my previous post? Positive negativity. I certainly didn't invent it, just trying it on and, like a good pair of shoes, it's getting more comfortable with wear.

My first class was scheduled for last Sunday, August 27, but there was a delay in signing the contract, so I couldn't teach. Now that I have taught that class, I realize what a break that was! After I had agreed to sign on, I was told by George, a fellow teacher here, (Chinese but he teaches English and speaks it well), that there would be 90 students in the class. Double majors meaning they're cramming two programs into one year. None of them major in English, so it's not a priority, or... even interesting, or... worth the effort of paying attention in class to some. I have now taught the class once and I had people using their cellphones, (not the translation programs either), doing work from other classes, daydreaming, no sleepers... yet. I always wonder why these students show up at all. I got them in Korea too. I often kicked them out or didn't mark them on the attendance, but they still showed up to do nothing. Ruddy mysterious!

George told me he was "shocked" that there are 90 students in the class, but I have hung out with Margie, another fellow teacher, (American. Been here off and on since '96. At this school!), and she told me the same class had 87 last year. What Margie told me, Saturday evening before the Sunday morning teaching time, was that even though I got a schedule from George that showed this class as a two-hour class, (long enough I'd say!), it's actually 4 hours long! So I went into the class half prepped. The biggest class I've ever had, the longest class I've ever had, and if not for dumb luck, I would have had to fudge two hours, the 3rd and 4th hours of a class the students were probably already tired of. Luckily, the first two hours were okay and because I did a little last second prep, the second two hours weren't the nightmare they could have been, but they were still an unsettling dream. One of those dreams that makes you "bolt upright" in your bed, as they say. But one you can still get back to sleep after. Thanks to Margie.

While I'm thanking Margie, I'll give her props for the absolute best thing about my new apartment: I've now had 5 nights of mosquito-free sleep. The first night was bad. Not as many as the old place but still enough to keep me on my toes. I got up 5 or 6 times to hunt down and kill some blood suckers. Stained the brand new, white painted walls in a few places with my blood. But on the second day here, Margie took me out to show me around the campus and give me an idea of where to catch the bus to the North Campus, where I was going the following morning for an 8 o'clock class. She mentioned a good, odorless mosquito plug-in killer that she uses with great success. Mine didn't work. So I bought one and it worked like a hot damn! I have all morning classes here so sleeping during the night is a must. And I can do it once again! Yeehaw!

Another great thing about this apartment is I can go to the fridge, stand directly in front of it, and put in or take out food. I don't have to reach in left handed from the side like I did in my narrow, sideways walking kitchen. On the other hand, (ar ar), this place LITERALLY has everything but the kitchen sink. I don't have a kitchen sink! I didn't even notice the first time I looked at it. So I now fill a big tub of water in my shower, wash the dishes in that and rinse them under the bathroom tap. Spaghetti strained over the bathroom sink. I hung the strainer on the bathroom wall! Veggies or fruit I need to wash, same thing. It's something I can adapt to but very odd.

Overall, I like the new place better than the old one. It's smaller but it feels bigger because I use every room. I don't have the useless living room or master bedroom here. The place, like the old place, was a filthy mess when I moved in. Everything I touched left a stain of grease dust on my hand. You know the crud that sticks to everything when someone has cooked with lots of oil on super max blast furnace heat and left the windows open to let in the dusty, smoky, polluted air of Taiyuan, the coal capital of China. And the feng shui was in the negatives. I had to move several things around to better spots so they'd be more useful and to uncover the limited outlets in the apartment. And it seemed, almost as if planned, everything was just not quite the right fit.

I moved a cupboard from one room to the little kitchen balcony add-on. But before that I had to move a table that was blocking up the kitchen traffic. This manoeuvre was one that would not require the skill of one who knows anything of wind, water or Taoism, just common sense. They were in the wrong places. But no sooner did I move them than I realized why. The cupboard, or cabinet, a thin metal, door locking unit that could have been used for books, clothes, almost anything, was a certain measurement wide. I measured the patio. It was wider. I assumed it would fit. Me being a rookie to China as yet. It turned out that my measurements, (I'd purchased a measuring tape the day before and was very well aware of how to use it), were faulty. Faulty based on an incorrect assumption of verticality here in China. You see, the walls of my hastily added balcony, slash kitchen without a kitchen sink, were not vertical. They actually were more of a v shape. So the cupboard or cabinet or whatever you want to call this thing, fit at the top, but as it got closer to the floor, it was snugger and snugger and then didn't fit. I tried to move it the easy way, but it was impossible because it JUUUUUUUST didn't quite fit. So I lifted it up and slam dunked it down to where it is now, (and probably forever after), will be. The bottom of the cabinet didn't hit the floor. It wedged immovable about 3/4 of the way down. But that's just fine. I am storing cookware and produce in the cubby hole beneath the cupboard that has created it.

The table that I removed from the makeshift, added on kitchen, was juuuuuuust a little too wide to fit into the bathroom. But I needed it to be the place where I washed my dishes. So, I removed the bathroom door. This was no mean task, let me tell you. It required the acquisition of proper tools and a LOT of muscle work where technical work failed. But I got it done.

Next was the old kitchen cabinet. It was located just outside the kitchen and could only be accessed by closing the "kitchen" door and then opening the cabinet door. It had plates and cutlery and such in it. There was also a curtain in the way that blocked the whole kitchen off and in summer will probably keep the whole apartment MUCH cooler if drawn. So this big beast had to be moved. I thought it might be good for a wardrobe in my bedroom. So I emptied it and dragged it to the doorway. It juuuuuuuuuuuuuuusst about fit, but not quite. I had to carry it in horizontally, which required some muscle, but I got it done. Then I started putting clothes into it. They juuuuuuuust about fit, but not quite. I had to take all four doors off this cabinet, and believe you me, this job was arduous and sweaty! But I got it done.

Then there was the computer room. Where I am now. The room from whence I removed what was to become the kitchen cupboard. It had two desks in it. One mostly glass desk designed for a computer and one wooden desk. I like wood better than glass and because my desktop screen juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust about fit under the top row of the glass desk, but didn't, I decided to use the wooden desk as my main computer desk and the glass computer desk as just storage. I have my rice cooker on it now. It's basically useless otherwise because of its close, but no cigar measurements.

The measurements of EVERYTHING here are just off by a few millimeters. I find it hard to believe that that isn't a diabolical ploy by the university to insert cameras throughout my apartment and live stream my struggles online or on live TV as, (perhaps), The Chinese Water Torture of Today. I can hear the Chinese TV tag lines now. "What would a foreigner do in an apartment with literally everything but the kitchen sink?" Tune in Thursdays to find out!

But that's just my paranoia. Right? Otherwise, after a MASSIVE clean-up, this place is actually better than the old place and infinitely cheaper, being free. I sleep practically mosquito free, I can reach into my fridge without contortions, I have a full King sized bed, hard as a rock, but comfortable otherwise, I have a shower that is enclosed and you don't need to turn on, and then wait for, the hot water to use, (the bathroom sink is the same for washing dishes, though... it IS the bathroom sink), and I have easy chairs! Two of 'em right in the living room! This makes my living room far more useful than my old living room. I've actually used it several times already!

The patio/kitchen will be good for my electric bbq too.

There ARE some minuses. Aside from what I have told you. The internet is the biggest. I was told, (by George), that the internet is pretty good here. Well it's not. The original internet I got was absolute shit. They tried to con me into accepting it, but failed. So they got me a new TP Link, which is STILL worse than the crappy internet I had at my old place. I told them I can just transfer my internet from my old place to here, since it's paid up till November, but they get all mealy mouthed about it when I mention this. "Well it's not convenient. It's difficult for us..." I think they want me in their wifi domain so they can keep track of where I've been. Why else would they be so opposed to my getting my own wifi, AND paying for it?

I tried today to watch the first NFL game online. I got it for close to 3 quarters resetting every once in awhile, but it just shitcanned after that. Didn't get to see the final quarter. Same goes for every Kia Tigers game I try to watch. This is Korean baseball and is more readily accessible without the VPN. I STILL can't get a whole game without several dropped signals and reboots. I find unplugging my router, then plugging it in again, might get rid of some hitchhikers, but it doesn't cure the absolute abysmal wifi offered here.

I will try yet again to get my old wifi, which had its problems, hooked up here. We shall see what happens.

I have low hopes to upgrade the terrible internet here because I've been told by several students that other students, (not them), know a way to hack into any internet signal within their range. They have a password breaking program that is really good. This is why every email or internet or anything they give you is bizarrely complicated. My password, without my consent, was set, by the IT guy at 1234567890. How fucking hard is THAT to hijack?

But I'm lead to believe that these code breakers will break harder codes than that. So I don't know if it's worth getting all steamed up about. Still, I have to believe my OWN internet with my OWN password would be better. I will work on them to try to get that. Yes, I am trying very hard to NOT accept free internet and get PAID internet. Because... China.

I have students from my class of 90 sending my WeChat notifications. At least I think they're from my class of 90. We opened up a group convo room and people have contributed to it. New people. Who want me to add them. I don't know who they are. I don't add unless I know who you are. Because of bad spammers in China. I think I've already pissed students off for this. "Where is David?" "David is in bed early." Why won't David accept my friend request." 90 people. Wanting to chat. Sorry, not getting paid for that. If you want me to add  you, send a friend request that says, "I am in your class." Don't just send your Chinese name. I have had several student do that and several spammers do that in the last week. The students will get all pissed off at me, I'm sure. But whatareyougonnado?

People who can't find the book online to buy. Management who won't help me in my navigation of the new job sites. Students who try to help but are being a little TOO helpful and asking me to give them things to copy for the whole semetre. I still haven't been told the starting and ending dates of the semester and am sure I won't be told till the last week. So it is impossible to distribute an accurate curriculum, syllabus or schedule. Certainly not handouts that need to be copied! I have to tell the very helpful students that I am handicapped by the administration. I hope they are okay with that. It's nothing new to me.

On the bright side, I'll get a good long winter break. I'm looking SO forward to it! I will likely be gone before December is out. And won't be back until sometime in Feb. Hopefully after the Olympics are over. But exact dates are not known and won't be until the day before. I can't buy tickets for the Women's hockey final because I might have to be in China to work. I may have to be on a flight from Korea to China the day Canada beats Sweden for the world curling gold, right around the corner from where I used to live, because people just can't plan ahead here. I think this is going to be excruciatingly frustrating! But it's all part of the job.

On the not so bright side, the U.S. and North Korea could be locked in an Olympian struggle of their own by then. This will put a massive damper on the Olympics, I'm sure. Residents of Korea assure me there is nothing to fear, but there are daily notifications of the defiance that has been the M.O. of North Korea ever since we've all known them.

I'm not going to tackle this one. It's a tough one. But I know, from living in Korea, that the North is childishly inconsolable when they observe things that they perceive as provocative. The South has tried to be absolutely humble and Jesus-like in their "Sunshine Policy" toward the North and they have been viewed as foolish and weak because of it. I would absolutely love to see things settled through diplomacy, but it's going to take more than Dennis Rodman to accomplish this feat. I fear even the rebound Worm couldn't actually get this done.

So where does that leave us? As the man says, "May you live in interesting times." I think things will be getting interestinger and interestinger as the weeks, months and maybe even years go by.

That's just my humble opinion.