My Self-sabotagery

 I feel that a brief invocation of the muse called Arrogance may serve me in good stead here. Oh we're familiar. With age we have become more so. I find increasingly often that knowing literary devices and strategies, human nature and the difference between valid syllogisms and spurious arguments with faulty or missing premises, is not satisfying enough when Arrogance is your muse. And I find this muse to be more easily invoked in tandem with another of my inspirations - alcohol. 

I've developed a kind of grumpy, old mannerism of a Friday or Saturday night during which I go online and poke holes in people's annoyingly happy logic, be they friend, family or complete stranger. I've never been one to gain pleasure in others' discomfort. I never felt compelled to join into teasing of peers who were different in some way, having been the victim of such childhood cruelty myself. I've always hated waking people up preferring to allow them to remain in the safety of slumber as long as possible. But as I grow older and closer to (but not yet fully acquainted with) that ultimate of muses, Wisdom, I have found the advent of strength, or at least the lack of patience, to overcome my kindness and shake people awake.

Reality is tough. It's cruel. The young and the foolish build their defenses against these truths for half a life only to spend another half dismantling them. And if we're all honest (which we're not) we can admit to contributing more than a brick or plank or length of rebar to the construction of youthful palisades in the guise of kindness and protection only to render the construction more solid and difficult to demolish. Is it kindness or protective to tell youngsters to save their money in banks so they can be rich and successful, or that honesty is the best policy in a world in which rich and "successful" people get that way through fraud? 

When those children get credit cards and shop online with them they'll find unexplained charges being deducted regularly, charges the bankers tell them cannot be blocked according to their co-conspiratorial policies. They'll find eventually that they're coming from a website where they shopped for Christmas gifts, or a campaign donation page for a candidate who promised to root out corruption, websites that contained, carefully hidden in jargon and sententious small print, automatic re-billing either monthly or weekly. 

Are we consoling the young and innocent when this part of their defenses comes crashing down while at the same time losing a piece of our walls in the knowledge that we could have prepared them to deal with the destruction better or not have to go through it at all? 

We teach the young to value their votes, obey the laws and respect the legislators and members in all aspects of the legal system. Then we they find out about SLAPP lawsuits and leaders and legislators creating laws with the apparent purpose of protecting scumbags like Bob Murray (and Donald Trump) by allowing them to just sue people and cost them lots of money for telling the truth about them. So again, is honesty the best policy? Should laws be obeyed? If the dishonest are protected and their protection is actively entrenched in the laws of the land, are we lying to the young?

I hope you watched both episodes of "Last Night Week Last Night Tonight." It's a great show! And I can't think of anything better to do when learning about such despicable (but successful) assholery than laugh about it. Indeed, it's often how I choose to point out weaknesses in logic exhibited online. Take this example for example:

 When I saw this posted on a friend's Facebook page, I couldn't contain my desperation to add to it, "Yup. Sad what a lifetime of being lied to does to people. But the artist forgot the speech bubbles for the other extreme, the militantly positive. "We're not sinking. Everything is A O K!" "This is supposed to happen." "The ship isn't bringing us down, YOU are with all your negativity!" "What are you one of those anti-techers?"

Yes, that IS a reference to the term "anti-vaxxers" a term I think has been bandied about during flu seasons and now during the Covid 19 pandemic, a bit too peer-pressurishly. Flawed logic has been a weapon used in this pressuring of the public to get their jabs, and before you get worried, I intend to get mine as soon as I can, but I can't help but point out the harm people are doing to the cause of attaining herd immunity through immunization with the peer-pressure tactics and spurious arguments. What they are doing to those of us who recognize their faulty premises, is causing us to question whether people are purposely misleading us or whether they are too stupid to realize that that's what they are doing. In either case, it makes us LESS likely to do what they are trying to get us to do: get vaccinated.

Here's one example I've been given multiple times: Whenever anyone mentions the AstraZeneca vaccine and its link to blood clots, out come the experts who tell us that when you get Covid 19 you are 300 times more likely to get those blood clots. This is a stat a friend was given, not me. Unsupported and un-linked, but given with confidence nonetheless. I looked it up. Something people are far too unlikely to do before agreeing with stats they'd like to agree with, which my friend did. I found this study, which shows that in a study of half a million Covid patients, 39 per million got CVT, cerebral venous thrombosis - a rare kind of blood clotting. Now "cerebral" means the brain, so I'm assuming it's blood clotting in the brain being measured here, which means it's different from what happened to THIS guy. But this was the story being commented on. At any rate, the Oxford study showed that in 480,000 patients who had received the Pfizer/Moderna vax, only 4 per million got CVT. In AZ, which I guess were the other 20,000, it occurred in 5 per million. So you're about 10 times less likely to get the clots with Covid than after being Pfizerized, and about 8 times less likely than after AZ. Far from 300 times. So I continued searching.

I found the 8-10 times stats reinforced by the University of Minnesota, who also cited the above study. However, what I like about this study is the "cautions and context" section in which they mention that the authors could not verify the accuracy of the CVT diagnoses because scanning the veins in the brain can be time-consuming and challenging. They also said that the risks of blood clots in relation to the AZ vax were NOT looked at. Hmmm... interesting. THEN, Kevin McConway, a doctor from the UK says something that muddles this information even further, while at the same time bringing up the very point that was being avoided by all of the people citing this study. He says, ""The researchers are not claiming that vaccines do not increase the risk at all compared to the risk in people who have not been vaccinated and have also not had COVID-19—but they say the CVT risk in people who have had COVID-19 is about 100 times the risk in the general population," he said. "I do think this puts things into context."

So he somehow ??? goes from 8-10 times, up to 100 times more likely. I guess he feels this exaggeration is excused by previously mentioning the syllogistic weakness, and the thing that has everybody smart enough to understand it, mistrusting it, the fact that the study doesn't show that people WITHOUT Covid are less likely to get blood clots when vaccinated. What he doesn't say is what we all know: they're NOT. They are less likely to get the blood clots if they don't get Covid and if they don't get vaccinated. But I guess a lot of people felt they needed to be purposely misleading and present the spurious argument that people WITH Covid are more likely to get blood clots than are people who got the vaccine. It's not wrong, it's just beside the point. Perhaps it's because of that that people say, "What the hell, blow the stats up a bit."

Are they really doing the efforts at herd immunity through vaccination a favour with this behaviour? I don't think they are. What they are doing is making people FURTHER mistrust the medical profession, the scientists, the doctors as well as the people who are aggressively pushing the vaccines. And I have to mention THAT as well here. I've heard a LOT of people intimating or even overtly saying that if you don't get vaccinated, you're stupid. Really? If anything, the above information shows that even the doctors DON'T KNOW. They hate admitting that, but it's true. It also shows that they are okay with misleading the public. Probably because of those vacations and other free shit Pfizer paid for when the doctors chose to recommend their products. The science is not yet on the side of the pro-vaxers, even though they are fond of claiming it. Nor is the history, as I outlined in my last post. I hope eventually it will be. It looks positive, but rushing it does not help.

Once again, I understand the desire to be positive. I too wish I could give all my friends and family, and even strangers nothing but good news, but I question whether this is the best course of action. It may sound arrogant and elitist, but sometimes I think a dose of reality, not kindness, is the best medicine. And I, for one, would appreciate it if people tried to be more honest regarding the general corruption in the world rather than trying to shelter me from it with obviously flawed information and arguments. I think there are a lot of people like me and we're not well loved by a lot of easily convinced cheerleaders of unresearched information. Maybe when I can learn to access the muse of Wisdom, I'll stop arguing with those people, but until then, I guess I'll continue with my self-sabotagery. 

Today is Saturday. I'll probably have a few beers tonight and go online. Anybody who hasn't already blocked or de-friended me wanna chat?

The following are a couple of cartoons I've seen that don't really tell the whole story. I guess they're accurate for some, but not all unvaccinated people are stubborn, stupid, red (MAGA?)hat-wearing, fat assholes. Maybe characterizing them as such isn't helping? This isn't the worst I've seen either. I saw a meme with the inference that since some people are not doing what the government tells them they should, I guess they won't be obeying traffic lights any more. Those were installed by government and are also suggestions. Another was a meme with a "doctor" holding up a picket sign that says, he's a doctor and he sees a lot of people refusing Covid19 vaccinations. What he DOESN'T see is polio and measles (or two things that vaccinations have wiped out via herd immunity). Vaccines work! Well, yes, they do! Assuming people who don't want the Covid vax yet are anti-every other vaccine doesn't work though. Reign in your enthusiasm there, "Doc." That's not the best bedside manner I've ever seen. 

Don't MAKE me change these cartoons! Because I can...

I think it's time. The handle, "Anti-vaxxer" was invented for unreasonable people against certain vaccines, so it's only fair to call unreasonable people IN FAVOUR of certain vaccines "Pro-vaxxers," isn't it? If Pro-vaxxers keep treating the 39% of Americans and the other people who remain undecided about the Covid19 vaccinations, and others who haven't yet gotten the shots, like children or stupid people who need to be sheltered from the facts, the altered cartoons might be more accurate. 

This may not be a popular opinion, (so what's new?), and I may be giving the general public too much credit for too much intelligence, but I feel like I'm seeing a lot of people who need to recalibrate their approaches toward the unvaccinated and this is NOT excluding members of the medical profession, scientists who are trusted to give facts, not opinions and hopes, and leaders who are also trusted (for some reason). It'll STILL be a slow slog toward herd immunity, for reasons outlined in my last post, but I feel like the truth will get us there faster than the salesmanship and overzealousness I'm seeing.  

The Medical Racket Part II

 I didn't even mention in my last post the many times pharmacies here have tallied up my drug costs and given me the price without asking if I have insurance. I produce my alien card and sometimes they STILL feign ignorance. Then I tell them I have insurance and, "Oh geez, yeah the total is one tenth of what we were trying to charge you. What do ya know about that?!" That's how I found out I didn't have insurance. Twice while I was working for Carrot if I remember correctly. What I'm saying is people are constantly on the con in every phase and every level of the medical profession. Everybody knows this, am I right? Even the most outwardly positive of people. 

We all have our versions of reasonable. It's the most important word there is legally speaking and I don't think there is much difference from one person to the next. However, it is rarely if ever fixed. We have variance in our reasonable-meters and it is affected by many things. I don't have any kids, but I constantly hear people talking about how they change a person's thinking. Race, age, culture, there are hundreds of examples. Here's a little clip I love from one of my favourite comedians that includes a few of these things:

Beat your kids so they're not social outcasts! lol Time is also a great reasonableness affecter. Throughout a person's life, reasonable is like a pendulum swinging back and forth depending on current trends, social situation or life events. I've never met anyone with a totally static reasonable-meter. We all develop biases and I think if we're honest, we can probably remember times when subconsciously or even consciously our biases overcame our reasonableness. 

I have biases too. We all do. Every job I get swings my reasonable-meter in favour of this FINALLY being that fabled perfect job and maybe the job I'll hang onto until retirement, though I know it never is. When a member of the Vancouver Canucks gets a penalty, I might find myself arguing the call even if I know it was fair. That bias swings even further during the playoffs. When the whole Vancouver Canuck team (except one player) was on the Covid list not long ago this NHL season, I may have hoped they'd come back before the minimum of two weeks they should have been quarantined. I was very surprised when that was exactly what happened! They were back on the ice before I thought they would (or should) be. And to be honest, I wasn't sure the NHL did the right thing. I had said to several friends and students (I taught a lesson on it) that I'd be perfectly fine with the Canucks season being cancelled in the name of safety. Even though they're highly unlikely to make the playoffs, I must admit I am happy to be watching them play the season out.

I say this because I can relate to the many people I'm hearing of late who are trying to hasten the end of the Covid pandemic. I am SO with you! I miss the phrase, "going outside for some fresh air!" Aside from all my online teaching, which isn't ideal, I currently teach 6 hours a week with a frigging mask on. One stretch of four hours in a row! I can't tell you how chock-a-block full of SUCK that is and it's just going to pack on even MORE suck when the summer, the hot and humid Korean summer settles in. I want this pandemic to end as much as the next person, but I'm hearing some who are being overly optimistic about the whole thing. It has me suspecting the toxic positivity crowd again.

Most famously, the Joe Biden/Kamala Harris presidency has set a goal to give 70% of Americans at least one Covid vaccine shot by the 4th of July. I'd like to pause here and steer off my course slightly to say that I haven't seen anything to be negative about yet from the first 100 days. They're crushing it! I particularly like the way they're dealing with the pandemic, crankin' out over two million vaccine shots a day in the US, 1.9 trillion relief plan, the infrastructure plan, taxing the rich and maybe best of all (definitely most on point) waiving the patent on the vaccine so it can be reproduced legally and cheaply even in poor countries helping fight the pandemic worldwide. I've got to admit I've found myself actually CHEERING for politicians a few times recently. That represents a swing in my reasonableness pendulum. But then it wasn't long before it swung back. For example, I love to hear those wonderful three words you so rarely hear from the mouths of purchased politicians: tax the rich, but I try not to get too excited unless I also hear a plan that goes with it to make sure the rich actually PAY those taxes and don't just offset them with price hikes for those products which make them rich, thus rendering taxing the rich in actuality a deferred tax on the usual tax payers. Indirect tax is no better than direct tax.

Which brings us to the first point, I would love to see 70% of Americans jabbed by Independence Day but it ain't gonna happen. This is not going out on much of a limb, but from what I've read, I don't even think it'll happen by NEXT Independence Day. I know it's harsh, and people like to avoid negativity like that, but I believe in facing up to harsh reality, not accentuating the positive and eliminating the negative. It allows me to prepare better for the suckage. 

I'm not going to just put that out there without citing reliable sources. People often question why they should believe ME when I'm talking with them about stuff I've read. And to be fair, I don't have a very quick mind for referencing all the ideas that are rambling around in my noggin. There's a guy named Iain MacLeod who is co-founder and CEO of a novel viral diagnostics company currently dealing with the Covid 19 pandemic. He's also a research associate at Harvard TH Chan School of Public Health. Here's a summation of what he says about the 70% prediction:

First of all, I learned something new right from the get-go reading Iain's stuff. The term "herd immunity" was one I knew, but I always thought it just referred to people exposing themselves to germs or viruses to catch them and develop immunities to them. You know, the way people whose kids had measles used to tell their kids to play with other kids in the hood to get it all overwith in one go. And like the Swedes tried to achieve in the early days of Covid. But this was natural herd immunity. Sweden, a country of 10.1 million, just recently topped a million Covid cases and over 14,000 deaths, so I don't think it worked. 

What the US is trying to achieve, and what Iain writes about is also herd immunity, but it's achieved through people catching and recovering from Covid 19 as well as people attaining immunity through vaccination. The 70% figure was not chosen randomly by the Biden administration it turns out. It's the percentage of immune people "in the herd" calculated to be necessary in order to make it so difficult for a person with Covid to pass it to someone who isn't immune, that the virus will eventually die out. 70%. It doesn't seem so hard, does it?

Well, there are many things to consider. First, the efficacy of the various kinds of vaccines have been measured so far to be 90% for Pfizer, 70% for Astra Zeneca, 66% for Johnson and Johnson. I don't know about Sputnik or Sinovac or any of the knock-offs that will soon be produced all over the place, but let's take 90% as the most efficient. The fact that none of the vaccines are 100% means, according to Iain Macleod, at least 80% of Americans must be vaccinated to attain herd immunity. 

Add to this the results from a recent Kaiser Health survey in which 13% of Americans say they'll never get the vax, 7% will only take it if required and 31% are taking a wait and see attitude. This already makes things impossible unless people change their minds, but let's continue.

People under the age of 16 can't yet safely be given the Pfizer vax, Moderna people under 18, and pregnant women are advised against it but can get it if they choose. We can assume the other vaxes are not yet safe for young folks either. That's over 74 million people as yet ineligible to receive the vaccine. About 25% of Americans are still restricted from getting the vaccine, but have proven to be efficient asymptomatic spreaders. 

The durability of the Covid 19 vaccine is, as yet, unknown. It may persist, it may wear off and require booster shots like tetanus or diphtheria. Public acceptance, making it safe for kids, durability testing, these are some of the things that just take time with vaccines and no amount of positivity will speed them up. And this is not to mention the usual problems every vaccine development runs into, or the variants, which we've already seen. For instance the P1 variant, that has been called the Brazilian variant, was not what the Covid vaccines were designed for. It is believed they will be less effective in fighting it. Pfizer and Moderna are showing promising results against variants, but nobody knows the exact figures yet. 

Iain MacLeod states that Covid 19 is going to be part of American life until after 2022. Herd immunity won't be achieved for years yet, but the outlook is positive. He believes it will be achieved. 

Development of a vaccine often takes 10-15 years. Coronaviruses have been with us a long time. Some were identified in the mid '60's. But Covid 19 was first reported on the last day of 2019, which means we've had it for a bit less than 16 1/2 months. That's not enough time to go through all the stages of vaccine development. Again, thinking positively is not going to change that.

Stage one of vaccine development is called the exploratory stage and often lasts 2-4 years. It is when researchers identify natural and synthetic antigens that help prevent or treat a disease or virus. Sometimes antigens include substances derived from pathogens like in the case of the flu shot.

Next comes the pre-clinical stage. This is the stage in which tissue, cell and animal testing is performed to assess safety. Commonly mice and monkeys are the unfortunate animals. Sorry to NEG you all like that, but it's the truth. The pre-clinical stage often takes 1-2 years. 

The IND (Investigational New Drug) stage is when a company submits an application to the FDA showing their research. If it's approved, the next stage is moved onto. 

THIS stage is called Phase 1. Small group trials of between 20-80 people are performed.

Phase II - Larger group trials like thousands and even tens of thousands of trial subjects.

Phase III - Assessing safety in large groups and licensing accordingly.

I don't know enough about this to be sure if the Covid 19 vaccines were hurried through these stages, and like the Canucks hurrying back from quarantine and playing again, I'm happy we're here, but I can't help having some nagging doubts that this whole thing is being rushed. This is why I can relate to the people who are on the fence, those 31% of Americans with the wait and see attitudes.

I would really love to be as sure as a LOT of people seem to be that the vaccines are totally safe and we should all get them! I would love to be sure enough to call people who DON'T get them stupid or antivaxxers or science-deniers, but I don't think that's the case. I also don't think this is the most effective way to convince those people to change their minds. In fact, if anything, it might make them harden their stances in defiance of peer pressure. 

Science brought us the Yellow Fever vaccine disaster in 1942 when thousands of US soldiers ended up getting injected with Hepatitis B and jaundice. Talk about yer friendly fire! It also brought us the dengue fever vaccine disaster in the Philippines that actually increased people's chances of getting what they were being vaccinated against. It was called the Dengvaxia vaccine and it was given to school children. This was 2017 folks. 

Mistakes happen. They seem to happen more when large amounts of money are involved. We've been effectively socialized to trust our medical system even though they constantly lie to us. It's much like our political system and I don't think the two are as separate as we may believe. Remember when Pfizer and other vaccine makers promised not to profit from the Covid 19 vaccines? They wanted to help humanity! Those well-known philanthropic people of Big Pharma! Well we thought it was horseshit then and we KNOW it's horseshit now. Pfizer - 15-30 billion. Moderna - 18-20 billion. J&J up to 10 billion. Astra Zeneca - 2-3 billion. 

And what did these altruistic humanitarians say when Biden waived their patents on Covid 19 vaccine production? They cried danger of course. They're claiming things like the supplies of ingredients will now be subjected to worldwide rushes and this will create dangerous shortages or something like that. Yeah, sounds more to me like competition will be dangerous to THEM and their bottom line. I've even read criticism to the effect that other vaccine developers will rush to produce the vaccines maybe cutting corners to come out with theirs first and cash in on the profits. Oh, you mean like YOU guys did?

Okay, no, I can't say that for sure. I don't want to act like I'm SURE about something without the facts. But if you find your reasonableness-meter swinging toward trust in Big Pharma on a wave of non-profit and new American government and positivity these days, I just thought I'd give you something to think about that might limit that swing a little bit. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm getting the vaccine as soon as it's available. And I hope people will safely achieve herd immunity worldwide as soon as possible. But I think there are some people being a little overpositive and hopeful out there. I'll tell you the brightest hope I have in all of this just so you don't think I'm completely negative, and I'll give it to you in meme form. It's a nice way to conclude this post I reckon.

The Medical Racket Part I

 Well, let's put that filth behind us. Onward and upward to some good, old fashioned Korea bashing! And before I start, let me say this: I don't whinge about any countries I don't love. If I hated Korea, the rantings herein wouldn't bother me much. But it seems every time I see attempts to overcome the crippling xenophobia at the heart of all the worst evils of Korea, like the school where I work or the Global Korea Scholarship I'm honoured to be helping choose recipients of at this moment from probably more than 25 countries, racism rears its ugly head again. I'm not even gonna start this one. I'll let the Korea Times do it for me: Check this out! I mean of all the nerve, nay the temerity, nay, nay I say, the unmitigated GAUL for those foreigners in Korea to start businesses with the permission of the government without knowing the government would change its mind in the future even considering retroactive punishment for the unforgivable crime of being non-clairvoyant! Come on man! Flag on the play!

You might think the Korea Times is the Korean equivalent of the Onion, but I assure you there are no satirists at the Korea Times. This is just one of a bazillion examples of what I have been calling, on and off this blog, for years, "foreigner fuckery" or "foreign fuckery." Either or. You can't get away from it. Even with Covid shutting us away from the majority of our exposure to the locals, we gotta go out sometime and, BAM, it'll getcha! Why, just last week I opened up a bill from the government insurance of Korea, the NHIS or National Health Insurance Scheme (you gotta love that name! "Scheme." That sounds so much like scam, I don't need to make jokes!) and it was for about 400 bucks. I think I explained on this blog before that my previous contract ended at the end of Feb and my new one started April first, so I went uninsured for a month. I knew the new rule about charging foreigners for insurance while they are here, whether they want it or not and if they are not covered by their jobs or don't have a job. I only found out about this because of my dealings with the NHIS that I didn't have and found out I wasn't covered by making a doctor's appointment only to arrive and be charged full price because my employer had not paid my insurance. So you can be uninsured, evidently, if it's your employer who's trying to save a buck hoping you don't go to get your teeth cleaned or some hemorrhoids removed or whatever. That's fine and dandy. But if the foreigner is the one in default, hunt it down and commit fuckery.

I knew they were gonna get me for my missing month. Even though I got no bill in the mail at my last apartment, I was sure they'd track me down. I told my new supervisor, Pyung Hwa about the situation and she said they probably sent something to my old place too late. But they'd find me. And they did. Four hundred bucks! For a month of insurance? I was pretty sure it didn't cost that much. It's just bare bones insurance. In fact, the hospital I was going to for my blood sugar treatments and meds, St. Mary's in Pyeong Taek, doesn't even TAKE people on NHIS. They only took me because my blood sugar was really high! Dangerously high. Gravely dangerously high! Is there any other kind of dangerously high? So why 400 bucks? Well this I DIDN'T know - the national insurance scam charges foreigners for mandatory insurance THREE months at a time! Foreign fuckery. 

I have been wracking my brain all day trying to recall the confluence of events from back then, just over a year ago, and can't remember exactly. I know I had to go to Soon Chun Hyang hospital near Itaewon to get the E-2 visa health check for immigration. I had been getting treated by an old doctor who, I gather, is quite a celebrity in these parts. He's the face of the SCH Hospital. If you go to their website, there's his mug. Well he had me eating boiled eggs and taking a couple of pills to try to get rid of frequent urination I was experiencing. I had a couple of incidents on buses where I didn't think I was going to make it. I can't tell you how traumatic that was! "Should I just whip it out and piss on the bus floor? Should I go in my water bottle? Should I wrap a towel around my wiener and let 'er rip?" Those thoughts didn't help things, let me tell you. I thought maybe the stress sweat would dehydrate me enough to ease my urge, but that didn't work. Sleeping was impossible. I got off the bus a bag of nerves, sprinted to the nearest urinal and didn't really have to go that badly by then. I'm still a bit scared on buses even though things are under control. Now it's just psychosomatic. 

At any rate, the guy was testing me for everything, (including blood pressure and blood sugar) and he said my numbers were high, but getting better. Our goal was to avoid the use of insulin. I thought we were doing fine. The meds he was giving me caused some issues and we had to change a few times, but I didn't have pee problems as badly. I don't think it fully went away though. I guess I wasn't eating enough hard boiled eggs.

Well then I changed jobs. When you change employers in Korea, you need to undergo a physical examination for general health and illegal drugs. Used to have to take HIV tests too, but a gal from NZ who was teaching over here sued the Korean government for violating foreigners' rights in that way. She won and now we don't have to take the HIV tests any more. I'm telling you this now because it comes to bear later in our story.

I decided rather than searching through the long list of hospitals on the webpage HiKorea that I have found to be very unreliable in the past, I'd just go to SCH Hospital, my hospital, to get my E-2 visa health check because I asked my doctor and he told me they do them there. I'd be working in Cheonan, but I didn't want to waste time looking all over the place for a hospital in Cheonan that did the checks. And don't even bother to ask at the Cheonan Immigration Office which Cheonan hospitals do the health checks they are requiring from you - they won't tell you even though they absolutely know. Foreign fuckery.  

So I went to Seoul to SCH Hospital to get it done. There I was met by a team of nurses who hustled me, cattle-like, from station to station doing eye test, blood pressure test, height and weight measurement, blood drawing, urine taking and at the end of it all I was told my blood pressure was high. They asked me to sit down for 5 minutes then they'd test again. After the second test, it was still high. I think we did three tests before I met with the doctor. He was a young fella and his English wasn't as good as my older, more famous doc, but he did okay. He said he was worried about my blood pressure and my blood sugar. I told him I knew about the blood sugar and was seeing a doctor AT THAT HOSPITAL, who was okay with both my blood pressure and sugar. Well, that didn't satisfy him. In the country where they use phones more than any other country, I suppose it was too much effort for him to ring up my doctor and check with him. He said he was going to fail me on my health test. I told him that in order for me to get medicine to treat the symptoms that worried him, I'd need health insurance and I will get that from my new job, but in order to get my new job, I'd need him to pass me on this health check. He eventually relented due to my Catch 22 situation, but only if I promised to see a doctor as soon as I got settled in Cheonan and get my blood issues under control. I said I would, took my test results to Cheonan immigration, got my new work visa and worked my first year for Gonju University. While there, I started seeing a new doc in Pyeontaek because for the first time, I found out what level my blood sugar was at. It was after a big kalbi feast, but my good friend Heather happened to have a blood sugar testing kit on her and we tested me with it. I was over 500. Well over. That's bad. Like emergency bad. So I managed to get an appointment at St. Mary's Hospital in Pyeongtaek even though I only had NCIS. So for a year we've been working on my blood and a few other things. My blood sugar is consistently 150 now. We're still trying to get that down, but it's by no means dangerous. And blood pressure hadn't been an issue all year.

This year I renewed my contract with Gongju University, but I'm based in Gongju now instead of Cheonan. If you renew a contract, you don't need to do a health check. But at Gongju's immigration office, which isn't in Gongju, we have to travel to Daejeon, the worker looks at me funny (I believe I saw a "gotcha" glint in her eye), prints out my health check from last year and points to a Korean word on it that means "fail." She says, "You failed your health check last year, you need to get a new one done." I was shocked! But then I asked the obvious question, "If I failed, how did I work last year?" I could see smoke escaping from the worker's ears, a common result obvious questions to immigration workers tends to bring about, but she remained unshaken in her pursuit of foreigner fuckery. "You need to get a new health check."

While sitting there in confusion I wondered if that young doctor had actually failed me or if he had given me a conditional pass or if there was a note included with my health check from him or if maybe Gongju University in Cheonan had swung some sort of a deal with immigration to get me working even though I had failed my health test. I hadn't been told any of the above if they had been the case. I also thought, since I had already been asked to supply my rental contract, which I had foolishly forgotten to bring, and was allowed to call Pyunghwa and get her to email it to me, then print it out and give it to the immigration worker, why couldn't we just call up the SCH Hospital and get that doctor to send an explanation? Again, in the country that uses the phone more than any other...

The only thing the immigration worker did was asked why I had failed. I told her I was pretty sure I hadn't failed, but I DID remember some concern about my blood sugar. I told her I had a complete physical printout from my doctor in Pyeongtaek that was from about 2 months before that shows my blood sugar at 140. There wasn't any confusion or language barrier, but even though immigration office workers deal with a LOT of foreigners, most of whom speak English, and most of the workers speak English just fine, they are very reluctant to use it. Foreigner fuckery. So I called up Pyunghwa AGAIN and the whole time they're talking on the phone I'm getting angrier and angrier because I know I'm not going to finish immigration, I know Pyunghwa's not going to convince the immigration worker that my blood sugar is fine, and I KNOW we could settle the whole thing with a phone call to SCH Hospital. I also started wondering if there actually WAS some note in the files at immigration and on the screen this worker was looking at that explained how I could have worked last year without passing my health check. She was just ignoring it so she could do what in all of my experience at Korean immigration offices throughout the country I discern to be the primary function of immigration agents: to make sure NOBODY visits a single time without being sent on a wild goose chase to get some additional, superfluous file or certificate or letter or stamped/apostilled pile of dogshit, or several, before they are done with immigration. 

I get the phone back and sure enough, Pyunghwa tells me I have to get a new health check done. But I went to Costco in Daejeon so the day wasn't a complete waste.

Not long after, like maybe a day later, Pyunghwa had set up an appointment for me to get a health check at a clinic just around the corner from where I live in Gongju. I was allowed to bring Aminur, a student at Gongju U. from Bangladesh who speaks Korean well, as my translator. We get to the clinic and he's explaining and I'm trying to make sure we get the right thing. I had kept the printout of my previous health check the Daejeon Immi worker printed out for me while I was there, showed it to the receptionist at the clinic, told Aminur to make sure they were told it was an E-2 visa check and the nurses were all saying, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't worry, don't worry," which I know has a tendency to mean the exact opposite. 

This is us in the Gongju U. Global Language Clinic, my office. The WHOLE THING! At any rate, I was poked and prodded and ex-rayed and tested and such. Blood pressure was given a hearty thumbs up by the nurse who took it using the stethoscope and airball, which I think is more accurate than these damn machines. A coupla days later I went to Daejeon to meet my NEW doctor, an endocrinologist, or diabetes specialist, who gave my blood pressure AND my blood sugar the okay and I got three months more medicine. When I arrived back in Gongju, I picked up the results of my visit to the clinic. I am assured by everyone that I don't have any health problems, but I AM hemorrhaging MONEY! Even with the insurance, this is costing me a lot of dough! Like over a thousand bucks. I know if you're American reading this you're saying, "That's nothing!" but it's a lot to me! Being Canadian, I'm used to getting sodomized at TAX time, not hospital time.

I think it was the next day Pyung Hwa and I got into her car and drove back to Daejeon to hand in my health check. I was worried that it was loose in an envelope that wasn't sealed and I was able to read it, but I assumed Pyung Hwa had things under control. In the car on the way, Pyung Hwa mentioned that it'd be nice to get this over and done with. I told her not to count those chickens just yet. I said immigration likes sending people to get extra papers and things. They LIVE for it! What they like even better is sending people to get extra shit TWICE. I told her what they'd probably say is that this was not the right kind of health check and I had to go to a special hospital to get an official governmentally sanctioned E-2 visa check and it had to be in a sealed envelope etc. etc. etc... and you know what's coming - that's exactly what we were told. Now I was REALLY mad!

I said to Pyunghwa that the only difference between the real thing and the one we had shown her was the drug testing. That makes it slower and more expensive as well. But I said that drugs were not the reason I was marked as having failed my last health check. If they were, I would have been deported. If I failed due to drugs and somehow worked an entire year, I would be deported and the doctor, or whoever allowed me to work after testing positive for illegal drugs, would lose his/her job. And now I had a shiny NEW paper from a hospital in Daejeon no more than a couple days old showing that I was in good health including blood pressure and blood sugar. Well guess what immigration said. Even though there was obviously no need for it, they took distinct pleasure in sending me on another wild goose chase to waste more of my time and money and bark, roll over, and play dead for my waegooky treat.

It was a dismal drive back to Gongju. I was seething. I am pretty sure Pyunghwa thought I was mad at her for setting me up at the little clinic where they lied to her, lied to me and lied to Aminur and said they'd give us an official E-2 visa health check. But I wasn't. I was mad at the utter futility of getting this health check, the time it would waste and MY money I'd be flushing down the Korean Immigration Shitter AGAIN! I related several of my past visits to the throne of the almighty immigration bullshit costly task. I couldn't tell if she was getting mad at the stories or getting mad at me for telling them. Sometimes Koreans don't want to hear how shittily their country treats people. But I gave it to her both barrels. 

It was a Friday so we were off for the weekend after we got back to Gongju. But even though she was off, Pyunghwa looked on the stupid HiKorea list of hospitals, which I had told her was shit, and found one in Gongju where I could get the E-2 visa check done. She called them up then called me. She said they had told her that I'd first have to go to another place in Gongju for the psychological evaluation, then bring that with me to their hospital where I could get the health check done. Pyunghwa had asked me earlier about psychological tests being part of the visa health check. I had already told her they weren't. I think I had softened my answer by saying that possibly a coherence check might be done like you might do if you are administering CPR. Ask the person's name or just check if their answers to questions are normal, but there's no psych eval. I then mentioned how the old health check form had a square for the HIV test, but the new one didn't have that square. I told her about the Kiwi teacher and the lawsuit and told her that only a judge can order a psychological evaluation in civilized countries and even then only in extenuating circumstances. Having one on the visa health check would be considered and invasion of rights and freedoms like the HIV check had been. But I guess she wanted to take the hospital's word for it, not mine. I can't blame her for that, it's how we're all socialized isn't it? Doctors don't lie. Hospitals won't cheat you. The medical profession is not just out to get your money.

So I told her I would not be going to that hospital. She argued that it was on the HiKorea list and it was closer and would take less time. I argued that if they think a psych eval is part of the E-2 visa health check, they DON'T do E-2 visa health checks. They're lying, like the other place did, and I will just be wasting MORE of my money while taking MORE time than if I just go to a place where I know I can get a proper one done. I think she took this a bit hard because she was trying to help and I was getting mad. Again, not at her, at the lying, thieving medical profession. But I wasn't going to shell out more dough to spare her feelings. I told her I knew some places where other people and I had had these things done before and I would figure it out myself. She said something like if I don't want her help, fine. I know fine doesn't mean fine sometimes.

I arranged to go back to the source of all the problems, SCH Hospital in Seoul. I had to go in Sunday night and stay over while fasting for the blood test for the third time in a week! That SUCKED let me tell you! I stayed in Itaewon where I had NEVER fasted in my life! Quite the opposite. Good eating and lots of drinking is what's best about Itaewon. It was tough, but I managed. I went to the place to get my health check and again it was performed in production line fashion. I had to go back a few times for the blood pressure check again. I even showed them that my blood pressure was fine like TWO DAYS AGO! But the first reading from their stupid machine was something like 190/100, the second one was 150/90 and the third was 130/81. Those were within about 15 minutes. I think their machine is broken. There were several OTHER people who were sitting down to get their blood pressures re-taken too.

 Wouldn't it be just the quintessential Korean immigration/health scam story if all this shit had been caused by a broken blood pressure machine?  

It's quite possible. That should scare everyone here. To make a long blogpost short, too late, the results were fine and immigration accepted them. They didn't send me or Pyunghwa on any further wild goose chases and I'm done with immigration for 10 more months.

In a way this is a positive blog post, or as positive as it gets from me, but consider it a set-up for what's coming next. I've ranted here before about toxic positivity and I'm going to blather on about it again in my next post along with another pandemic.