In Credit Able!

 What did I say last post? That there'll be some stupid bank rule that will make cancelling my credit card difficult? Some number that won't be in English or a gulag-ish card cancelling office? Scoff! Guffaw! Chortle! Sometimes I am absolutely adorable! It was nothing so NON-diabolical and amateurish. The tangled webbing of the credit card trap bore a strong resemblance to the internet fraud and buggery that was the cause for cancellation. And it's up there with the best of my Korean banking tales of woe to be sure!

But let's begin at the beginning, shall we? I met my new supervisor Hyo Jeong on Friday at 2. We needed Aminur to translate our meeting because, as explained before, the only person in the English department who can speak English, my ex-supervisor Pyeong Hwa, had been moved undoubtedly to some other duties that require no English. It's not Hyo Jeong's fault, she says it's a burden. It's not Pyeong Hwa's fault, she is not thrilled with her new duties either. It's the austere, inflexible, positively Dickensian villainy of the management combined with the kindly, timorous over-obedience (not to say spinelessness) of the people beneath them. Or at least that's what I'm guessing because I've seen it so many times. The fact that I have to guess means I have no idea, and that's by design. Foreign teachers don't get to talk to management in universities over here because we're trouble makers what with our demanding proper educational procedure, efficiency and all. No, there are always buffers. Often quite useless, but by design. They are the people foreign teachers can talk to, but they have no ability to enact any meaningful change. Their one purpose is to tell us that we can't speak to management, and they take our suggestions and grievances to the higher ups like a used car salesman takes a request to lower a car price to the boss: "See the game Saturday?" "Oh yeah. That was a beauty, eh?" "Yeah. Yeah. Sure was." (goes back to the customer) "Well the boss is firm on that price but he did say he'll throw in an undercoating at 25% off!" I know all this... and yet being the eternal optimist, I go against all sense and sanity and give it a whirl anyway. All the time. And it just puts a target on your back. 

I wasn't going to say anything at our meeting about the stupid desk warming but before I could stop my mouth it was blurting out common sense and proper procedure. "I can't believe they truly intend for me to stay in the office when there is no work because that would make my pay minimum wage. I am making a fair wage for my hours of teaching, which is what I was hired for, and I'm making nothing for my hours as an office sitter, which is NOT what I was hired for. It's hard for me to believe that something so insulting is what was intended." I used the proven tactic of saying that universities in Korea USED to do this but none of them have done it for a long time. It's an out of date practice. At this point Hyo Jeong asked what schools I'd worked at and when I listed them, her whole demeanor changed. I've worked for some places that (although none deserved it) are highly respected in Korea. So while she was claiming impotence at the beginning of our meeting, she promised at the end to ask about allowing me to go home when I was not needed. Though I don't hold out any hope that it will happen despite my optimistic nature. All I will accomplish is tightening their surveillance on me. 

And it actually started that very day! I had asked Hyo Jeong for Monday off to do my banking in Seoul and she said she'd let me know the answer by the end of the day. I was there in the afternoon for the first time all week because I was awaiting an answer. At around 3:30 in storms Pyeong Hwa no doubt sent as an emissary to report on my truancy if she could witness it. She asks me if she can use my computer and starts calling people and setting  up Zoom and doing stuff that she really didn't need my computer for. Possibly this pop-in was also orchestrated for my benefit so that I could see the value of being in the office so as to let people in who want to use my computer. The first person to ever come into the office came in minutes after I had requested an end to the office sitting. I knew then I had no shot at getting that bullshit "policy" changed. 

However, while she was there, I asked if she'd heard from Hyo Jeong and she said she had and that she would tell the people in the office about my taking Monday off. Or at least that's what I heard. She may have said she would ASK the people in the office about my taking Monday off. But anyway...

I went to Seoul Sunday and met up with John and Danny, a couple Canuckian teachers like me and we had a few pints at Fat Albert's. Since Covid, things in Itaewon close down at 10 but I got a good amount of drinking in and had a fun night. Went to a lot of the places I like and saw some people I like. Next morning at 8:58 I get a phone call. It's Aminur. They got him to call me because nobody in the English department speaks any English. He said, "They told me to tell you that you can't have today off." I basically said, "Too late bitches!" So they told Aminur to tell me that it will be taken out of my holidays. I called them some nasty names and poor Aminur didn't deserve to be put in that position, but they'll do anything but talk to a foreign teacher directly about stuff like this. You know, stuff that defies logic. See if you can wrap yer brain around what they're doing here: I have August off, so they are going to make me go into the office August 31st to do nothing because I didn't go into the office today and do nothing. It's important to somebody that I show up to the office and do nothing from 9-6 every weekday. That person has probably never once thought of WHY it's important, it's just always been important and it can't change. 

What probably happened (and I KNOW I've seen this before) was at some point some dipshit heard someone in charge say that the foreign teachers are to work between the hours of 9 and 6 but they are only going to be teaching 15-20 hours. That dipshit assumed to "work between the hours of 9 and 6" meant to be AT work during that whole time. And the "rule" was born. Since then, nobody has had the balls to challenge it. This is what goes on in offices all over Korea and they blame it on population, the job market, history, culture, Confucious, but it just comes down to bosses power tripping and workers not standing up to them. 

So anyway, not a nice way to wake up. But I didn't feel as bad as I could have hangover-wise, so that was a plus. I cleaned up, packed up and had some Macbreakfast. That almost made me hurl, but then it almost made me feel good. It was a sweaty, muggy day anyway and I had a LOT of beer to sweat off so I figured I'd best get at it. I knew it would be no snap and I'd probably be at it for a few hours. If I wasn't in a cool room, I'd be sweating. 

I went across the street to my bank. The only place where I could do what I needed to do. I updated my bankbook, then showed the teller the monthly deductions from my account. Five of them from WSPAY then the new one from IDAMAT that hadn't yet appeared on my account but did on my phone. I explained that it was automatic fraudulent rebilling and the way to cancel it required a phone call that could not be completed from Korea. She told me that it was based in the Netherlands. I didn't care, I just wanted to stop paying every month. We were getting close to 200 bucks for nothing! So she said, as expected, "We can only issue credit cards here, we can't cancel them." I had gotten the card from this very bank. Could have been this very teller for all I know. I had to call a number. I said okay, let's call. So surprisingly, she did! And she got through immediately! She spoke in Korean for a minute then hung up. It had to be ME who called. She couldn't have just handed the phone to me? So she gives me a card with the number on it. I THANK her and leave the air conditioned bank. I try to think of somewhere quiet to sit so I can call. My phone volume isn't high and I can never remember how to turn it up, if I can. So I go to the alley where Fat Albert's is. There are a couple of benches nearby. I sat on one and called. "All lines are busy but your call is important to us. Press one if you want to continue waiting." But hey, it WAS in English. I pressed 1 about 80 times then someone finally answered. She says, "Sorry our lines are busy, please give us your phone number and we'll call you back." Musta been rockin' one of them 1950 Lilly Tomlin switchboards with no call display. THAT'S how important your call is to them. But I gave her my number. I had to take a leak. Mcdonald's coffee. So I started walking back to Mcdonald's and decided to take my phone out so that if they called, I wouldn't miss the call. Right as I pulled it out, the call came.

So I reverse direction and run back to the bench to get off the noisy road so I can hear the person I'm talking to. She asks what I'm trying to do. I tell her I want to cancel my credit cards. Oh, well I can't do that. This is not the right number. That's all, the bank teller gave me a card with the wrong number on it. It only wasted an hour of my time and sweat. No biggie. So I'm digging through my bag trying to find a pen and paper getting even sweatier and she says she'll text me the number. So I hang up and head to Mcdonald's. Upstairs where the bathrooms are only has a few people in it, so I grab a table and make the call. After the requisite phone gymnastics punching in 1 for English, your card number, pound and so on and so forth then I pressed zero for an operator. It took a while but not as long as the wrong number had taken. She answers and asks me what I want to do. I tell her I want to cancel the card. And I have two cards I want to cancel. Do I need to punch in the number of that one too? No she sees my other card. Why am I cancelling? So I go through the whole story again. As I'm doing so, about fifty people come up the stairs. I think they were having a birthday party or something. I kept asking her to repeat herself and she kept telling me to turn up my phone and I don't know how and am nervous that if I touch any button the call will end and I'll have to go through this all again. And the sweat is back. Even though Mcdonald's is air conditioned. 

So she argues with me saying I don't need to cancel. I said I just don't want a credit card any more. There were other problems. Like the other day I was buying something with the credit card for 180 something dollars and twice I got a message that my card limit was exceeded. So I had to use my bank card. She tells me, "Well it looks like you have about 700 dollars of charges that still haven't come out of your bank account." That worried me. I hadn't bought anything for 700 bucks. But that's probably what she was looking at. She said it was mostly ebay. It was a couple of Pettersson rookie cards for 150 bucks. A great deal and he's my new favourite player since the Sedins retired. The extra 30 bucks is shipping from the States. I sure hope I didn't find ANOTHER flaw here! It's not a good deal any more if you pay for it three times!

So she says she can also make me a new card and mail it to me. I say okay. She says where are you living? Is it still and I can just barely hear her but I heard the word Cheonan. They still had my old address. So she asks my new one. It's on my phone. But I don't know how to look through my phone without losing the call. So I'm digging through my bag looking for something that has my address on it and sweating profusely. I find banking stuff but it all has the wrong address too. I'm starting to get weird looks from some of the noisy Mcdonald's patrons who can sense my stress then I hear her voice from the phone. She's yelling. lol JUST EMAIL IT TO ME. I WILL TEXT YOU THE EMAIL. I thought she was gonna say, "What is your phone number," but she didn't. Thank heaven for small miracles. 

I got the email address and sent my address to the email address. I thought I was finished. I had planned on buying a few groceries before going home so I thought I'd better do that now. I hoped I'd get some confirmation that my address was received, but nothing came. I decided to go to Fat Albert's for a REAL burger. The one I had the day before was awesome! Plus they have gravy for the fries. Macdonnies doesn't compare. Jaimie Oliver would have been proud.

As I'm walking down the street, I check my mail one more time. There's something there. It's an email from my bank saying my email will not be received unless I confirm my email. If it is not done immediately the email will be dropped. There was a button that said "confirm" so I pressed it. The screen flashed a bit, but that was all. Was it confirmed? Was my address received? No idear.

I decide, screw it, I'm just going home. This is exhausting. I'm not shopping or even eating at Big Al's again. I'll probably find something somewhere else. I get almost to the subway when it hits me - I won't have a functioning bank card. The girl on the phone said my new card would arrive within 5-10 working days. I need money to get me through that time. Good thing I paid rent the day before! So I reverse and start walking back to the bank. Again, full backpack, muggy and hot, I was a soggy mess when I got there. I try my bank book in the bank machines. There's a whole new (and more complicated) interface on all the machines. Gone is the big "English" button that was the logical place to start. Now you hit "international service" and get some messages in Korean that don't seem to be the ones I need. So I try just putting the bankbook straight in and it works. It asks for my PIN and I put it in and THEN asks for my bankbook PIN. I don't remember ever making a bankbook PIN. So I guess and I guess wrong. I don't know I've guessed wrong until I go through the entire transaction and it says some message IN KOREAN like you put in the wrong PIN I'm guessing. So I go back upstairs to talk to the girl again. I waited about half an hour and got the same teller. I told her I THINK I cancelled my cards. But I need some money if I have no cards. So we try one of the cards. It's cancelled. So we have to use the bankbook. So I tell her I don't know my password for the bankbook. We have to change the password. That took a surprisingly long time! But I got it done. Imagine if I'd gone home and tried to take money out and the machine asked me for my bankbook PIN? I would have Kung Fued that machine! 

So now it's almost three and I can't go home before eating. I go to Fat Al's and tell JK the whole story. She's flabbergasted. "Why is it so hard?" she asks. The million dollar question. Why is everything an ordeal? I had a lovely burger with fries and gravy and a slow motion beer. The hangover kind. Then it started raining. I was trapped at the bar. So I had another beer. The rain stopped and I went home. I received several messages on the bus trip home. One was confirmation of my confirmation. So that was nice. I got a message saying my new card had been sent. Wow! Speedy! The latest message was at 9:30 (it's 12:15 now) saying that a transaction of 25.89 EURO was authorized yesterday. Then "error: Transaction suspension." I hope that means what I think it means. 

Now if only they could give me back the money that was stolen from me every month for the last 5 or 6 months...

How The Hell Is Automatic Rebilling Legal???

 It's Friday night. Occasionally on a Friday night, I like to drink beer or some other imbibement and chat. This is well established on this blog. Sometimes I drink too much and say stupid things. Sometimes I get blocked. This too we've gone over before.

But occasionally, being a single man, I browse the chatting sites. Not necessarily looking for a girlfriend/wife, just looking to chat with someone new. Usually female, but not always. I'm not going to tell you I've never surfed porn, I have. That's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about just chatting with people. You see, sometimes people around here don't want to chat late at night, and people back at home don't want to chat because it's too early for them. So I need to find people who are available. That's all. 

I used to do this on Yahoo. What happened to just going on Yahoo and chatting with folks? I used to use a website for games called POGO and play games there while chatting with interesting folks. I sometimes like chatting with strangers. I used to play games on Facebook too for the same reason. Or I could even play with friends. Where the hell has all that stuff gone? And while we're on the subject, how were there about 100 sites for cam-chatting not so long ago, and now there are none? None for FREE that is. I remember owning webcams so I could chat with folks and see them sometimes. NOT ALWAYS naked either! Either this has become impossible, or really hard, or I just can't find any good sites because I always seem to search for ages signing up for shit giving out my info then finding out it's a crap site. This goes on for hours sometimes. While I drink. And get drunker. And drunker. And then I make a mistake and join a sketchy site and BAM I'm paying 30 bucks a month for life! How is this legal?

I had my VPN on Canada tonight and so one of the chat sites I went to read that and hooked me up with people from Vancouver. I lived in Vancouver before so we instantly had stuff to talk about. I was like a fish on the hook. "This person from Burnaby wants to chat with you." "You're from Burnaby? I used to live there," I foolishly typed. The person answered. And sent a pic. But I couldn't see either unless I upgraded my membership. Or at least START a membership by giving this site my email and a credit card number. A week was only 5 or 6 bucks. What could be the harm? So I signed up. I heard the noise my phone makes when I make a purchase. Sure enough, 4.77 Euro to IDAMAT.COM. What the hay, at least I could now view... I heard the noise of another purchase just seconds later. What the frig? I checked and sure enough, 19.05 Euro to IDAMAT.COM. I'm betting 19.05 Euro is about the same as 28.95 US dollars. That's what I pay to the unknown site that keeps billing me every month and I just can't find out who they are. Their harmless sounding name of THAT rebilling service is WSPAY.COM.

The site I was on, I've already forgotten. Findafriend or Localchat or some friendly sounding moniker like that. They don't tell you that when you buy a month, a week or even a day, you automatically start your monthly rebilling on the site. Never does that come up on the screen. If you search for half an hour through the billing and membership and details and personal settings until you finally find it, it DOES say that when you sign up for Findafriend or whateverthefuck, you automatically start a monthly rebilling charge of blah blah blah. So you keep searching until you find a way to cancel monthly rebilling. Evidently, I didn't do that the first time and promptly forgot the site I was on the night before the first time I did this. Tonight I went through the cancellation protocol.

Well isn't that interesting? There are five steps. The first step is which account you'd like to cancel monthly billing for. I had one from early this year. AH HA! IDAMAT and WSPAY are the same chiseling, greasy, slimy rebilling scam sites! So I pick the first one. Step two, what is the reason for cancellation? There is no box to fill in that says, "Because I never fucking UNCANCELLED you assholes!" Again, in what kind of backward, fuck-your-fellow-man society is this shit legal? Step three: check another box, step four: check another box, step five: call this toll free number 1800assfuck, and give them your account number, 123youscrewedme. I call the number and OF COURSE it doesn't work. Cannot be dialed as such in Korea evidently. I probably need to dial 1 then 001 or some crap before a toll free 1-800 number. I don't know and I don't care. I am going to Seoul Sunday so that I can do some banking Monday. I got the day off today. I already HAD it off, but I arranged things so that I didn't have to show up at the office to do nothing all day long. Instead I can save myself 60 bucks a month by cancelling my credit card. I HOPE!

What do you want to bet there is some fucked up banking rule that doesn't allow me to cancel my credit card? Maybe I have to make a phone call to some other number. This one will work, but it won't be English. Or maybe I'll have to visit some credit card cancellation office that will be as intimidating as the immigration office. THIS is the shit I dread leaving my apartment for!!! I absolutely know it's coming, I just can't predict the form it will take. 

As I said, I tried to put a stop payment on the first scam site back in the winter in Jan or Feb. The bank teller said she couldn't do that. Couldn't do it! These scam sites are protected by the banks! Why are there not mandatory sirens and flashing red letters when you are about to sign up for one of these sites that say, "Warning: You are about to be scammed out of a certain amount of money for life! Are you sure you want to pay this scumbag website every month for the rest of your life?" But there aren't. There was absolutely NOTHING that warned me of any automatic rebilling. NOTHING. 

How in the name of Alfred E. Newman could any country be so MAD that they could allow even ONE citizen to be cheated like this and laughingly call themselves "civilized?" I don't want to hear your justifications or rationalizations either. "Well it was probably a porn site." So what if it was? A guy wants to rub one out so he goes online to find some pictures or videos to "assist" him in his efforts. Not something he should be paying for for the rest of his life. "It's a clever idea. It's the entrepreneurial spirit." Fuck you! It's the larcenal spirit. "Buyer beware." I went to the mini mart today to buy the 4 beers I just drank. The cashier assumed I would use a card. She was SHOCKED to see my cash. We are basically being forced to abandon cash and use credit cards or phone pay services and nobody is even hinting that THEY beware. How about don't even make them available to the public until they are safe to use? Wipe out this kind of scam. Harshly punish the perpetrators. Don't reward their "ingenuity" with higher paying jobs and positions of prestige. Am I wrong here? Come on!

How am I to know that anything I buy with my credit card will not instantly set off an automatic rebilling every month? I want to know people are working on this. I want to know the leaders of our countries are wiping out internet fraud and credit card fraud, not practicing it themselves. I want to know that not only are they trying to get rid of such corruption, but that they'd never commit it themselves. Most especially not in the very campaigns that got them into government! You know who the best example for every kind of fraud there is is. 

How is THIS guy not yet in prison? Look at just one of the many examples of fraud he committed that amounts to nothing more refined or sophisticated than pulling a gun on a person walking down the street and mugging that person. The story was in the NY Times and Wall Street Journal. I only used the less official sounding source because I've used up my weekly limits to the other two.

What gives folks? How can we expect people to not fuck each other in the ass if our leaders and captains of industry do it themselves? What needs to happen is people need to be made examples. We need to find some of the biggest offenders like Trump and say to them: (I'm going to need you to imagine the person in the following clip is saying "Donald," not "Larry.")

I tell you without a word of a lie, if I found out who the creator of automatic rebilling, or even just the creator of one of the sites that nailed me was, I met that soulless incubus or succubus, and happened to have a crow bar in my hands, I think I'd go ahead and do what Walter Sobchak is doing in the above clip, only I'd do it to that person. But then I'D go to prison, wouldn't I? For the crime of wiping pure evil from the earth. 

John McAfee told us he would never commit suicide. He was running from the American IRS for years. They were trying to make an example of him. The example? Even the rich have to pay their taxes. In a cell in Spain just before extradition to the US for example making, he was suicided to death. By rich people who don't want to pay their taxes. But nobody even bats an eye in this world so full of corruption it's considered a virtue.

For crying out loud, even China, CHINA is at least making a show of trying to fight corruption! From time to time the CCP makes a big show of arresting someone for corruption. They might even make a BIGGER show and kill them. Take Lai Xiaomin for example. Former top banker and asset management company Huaron chairman, He had connections. He used those connections to get bribes. He is also reported to have had about 100 mistresses. I saw a vid in which he was explaining that he never spent the money, just collected it. Wanna make a girl hot? Take her to a room where the walls are made of stacks of bills. It couldn't have been his looks. He took a lot of bribes and saved a lot of money, but he was executed early this year. 

Is this guy's story a deterrent? Look how old he was! He had 277 million bucks, 100 mistresses, and, look how old he was! Execution saved him from suffering through the worst years of his life! Do you think there are any young scamsters in China changing their ways after hearing about Lai Xiaomin? Quite the opposite I'm sure. Such is the case with so many "successful" people who got that way by being complete assholes. Greed is good. Assholes are heroes. A one-week membership is a lifetime membership. And China, maybe the furthest country from the Olympian ideals, gets the Olympics for a SECOND time!

But we're all still sucking their arses aren't we? Canada is probably the worst. Preferred trading partner status! We've had some rough times since the current PM isn't a wannabe Chinaman, but still kowtowing. Recently not only didn't boycott the upcoming 2022 Beijing Olympics, but instructed the Canadian team to say nice things about China. Well YEAH! If you don't, you might not be let out of the country like 13 people since the Huawei Princess affair. (see other blog post).

And with TSM or TSMC poised to corner the semiconductor market for the Taiwanese (who don't like China) is it any wonder Chinese/Taiwanese relations are more strained than ever? So even though Taiwan has never been Chinese territory really, China's going to try to convince the world that they were, and pull another Hong Kong, rather than, you know, just do business honestly. That'll be how they steal the most important market in the world nowadays, microchips. And who has the balls to stop them? None of the most "civilized" countries of the world. They're falling all over themselves to get the two things China offers: the huge market and that sweet, sweet slave labour. 

I've heard that any country who boycotts the Beijing Olympics will be aggressively sanctioned by China. This according to their emperor for life Xi Jin Ping. 

So if you're an athlete there, don't talk about human rights violations; don't talk about the Dalai Lama or the disputed border with India; don't talk about the Uyghurs or the fact that China burns more coal than every other country in the world combined; don't talk about the messed up social credit system; don't talk about the Great Leap Backward or the cultural revolution; don't talk about their abysmal worker's rights; corruption; cheating; lying; stealing; or Winnie the fucking Pooh! Everything will be great. Or else.

Dammit! China's close and I know my way around! I bet NHLers will be there too! But I'll be boycotting. We all should. But we won't. We'll normalize things. I fucking LOVE that euphemism! "Normalization." One of the greatest words of the 20th century. We'll act as if there's nothing wrong. We'll support our athletes, sing our country songs and worship bits of cloth with maple leafs or stars and stripes or hammers and sickles. 

And we sure as Szechuan aren't going to care about the evils of automatic rebilling are we? I guess I shouldn't sweat the small stuff should I? 60 bucks a month is "small stuff." It goes back to that all too familiar life philosophy that I loathe more and more every day, the "well-at-least" life philosophy. Well at least I'm not a Uyghur! Well at least I'm not working for nothing! Well at least I'm not in a country run by an emperor and Big Brother. At least I'm not getting killed (Tiananmen) or thrown in jail (like Liu Xiaobo) for fighting for human rights. At least I'm not making two bucks a day. At least I'm not happy about my country because I recently started earning two bucks a day instead of one. 

But contrary to everyone who knows me's beliefs, I am an optimist. I'll never stop being one. I believe in the Olympian philosophy exalting all the best qualities of the body and mind, not the least. Will, mind, education, competition, athleticism, culture, joy, respect, and ethics. I dream of a day when I can trust established businesses to charge me for only what I bought with my credit card and for the authorities to disestablish businesses who charge for more. I dream of the day the Olympics will be given to a country that is truly Olympian. But since there isn't one, what the hell, let's give them to China again.

E.A.O.

 How did I end that last entry? "I shouldn't say things like that, should I?" Things like what? Like, "I'm happy." "Things are good here." And so on and so forth. 

Well the bed arrived. Over an hour late. It gave me time to transfer money at the bank machine for my new order of stuff with Coupang, one of the online stores here in Korea. I used the machine at the grocery store really close to my apartment to transfer the funds. This way I don't have to use a credit card. I can't have a credit card because every time I get one, I buy something that includes automatic rebilling and I am unable to figure out what site it is that keeps taking the money, and the bank won't tell me (which is currently happening to the tune of 30 bucks US a month) or something else like somebody gets my card number and withdraws 700 bucks (happened in Korea) or someone signs up for a credit card using my account (happened in Canada... TWICE... SAME person and again the bank was "not at liberty to disclose who it was who was stealing my money.") Next time I go into Seoul, I am going to cancel my credit card. It's the only way to stop the automatic rebilling. Oh and by the way, this'll be the second time I've done this. So I'm thinking of just not having a credit card at all. Not for me apparently. Having a credit card is a bigger hassle than not having one. How is that even possible? It's because in Korea, everything is an ordeal.

It's things like these that make me believe it's not negative thinking for me to shudder when I utter statements, or blog them, like the ones in the first paragraph. It's just that I've lived with me pretty much 24/7 for my whole life and if you had too, you'd totally understand. I have taken many of those "What do you see first in this picture?" tests that are designed to determine whether the glass is half full or half empty. This is my 54th year and I'm just lookin' at that glass hoping it's vodka, not water! And yet, the determination is always that I am highly optimistic. I AM! Do you know how many people have told me that they would have left Korea long ago if they'd been through the crap I've been through here? And this is the BEST country I've taught ESL in! I MUST be optimistic to still be here!

You know there's an example coming. The bed. But being optimistic, I thought the bed would be the only example. It's not even the best example of what I believe I called in my previous post, my, "frustrations with the Korean ways of doing things." And it's been all of two days since my last post. 

Let's begin with the bed. The delivery driver called me. They text and call at the same time I'm discovering. And the questions they ask when they call are invariably answered within the texts they send. This dude wanted to know my address, which was in the text he sent and, it turned out, written on every piece of the bed. But I'll give him a break because he also wanted to know if I'd be home the next day. I didn't know how to tell him I couldn't be home at 3, which was when he said he'd be coming, so I just agreed to 3 and planned to bonk off early from work and wait for him. The plan succeeded even though he arrived at a little after 4 o'clock. He dropped off the large, heavy pieces of the bed and then motioned to the bedroom where he told me he'd put it together. I'm playing hooky from work, who has time to assemble the thing? So I tell him not to worry about it, I'll put it together. But he shakes his head and insists on doing it. We have the customary courtesy argument and he finally relents, but says to me, "Bolteu! Eight bolteu!" I know bolteu means bolts so I say, "Where?" He starts shaking the big pieces of my bed, hears a rattle and then pulls out the bag of bolts. I thank him, pay him 55,000 won ($60 CDN), which I'm sure was partially for assembly but I don't give a rip, I have to get back to work before anybody notices I'm gone.

I unboxed all the pieces and put them in my bedroom and even with the air conditioner on, that soaked me from head to toe with sweat. It's that time in Korea again. :-( So I grab a quick shower, put on my shorts, shirt and sandals (which is what I'm wearing to the office until someone tells me I can't) and go back to work. I got back to the office by 5 and had pulled the caper off! Nobody had noticed. You may be wondering why I didn't just stay home for the last hour, and I'll tell you why; it's because I'm the only one with a card for the main sliding door and I didn't know if I'd have to let some other people out. Some go home at 5. My helper, who on the day was Achilles, needed to be let out. So it was a good thing I went back. See? My comparison of my non-teaching hours is now even MORE akin to working security.

So I cool off for an hour in office air conditioning I'm not paying for, then go home and get sweaty again. Sigh. Korean summer. I tell Amber in a text before I get home that I'll buy beer beforehand because I know I'll be frustrated. Again, Davey Downer. But, if you spent as much time with me as I do... I get home, turn on the air conditioning that isn't free and start trying to bolt this baby together. The bolts needed are actually combination bolts with male and female like these:

I needed 8, I got 2. The bag of bolts the dude found for me only had males. So I forfeit the beer and go out to find some of these things before the stores close. It's almost 7. I got to 5 hardware stores but none have these bolts. I found a place called "Gongju Bolteu" but it was closed. So since I'm out walking and sweating, and getting frustrated as expected, I went to Dominos and got a pizza.

Next day I get to work and as I'm telling Thoa my tale of woe, I notice two bolts on the shelving behind her. That pic is those two bolts. I think they're what I'm needing. What are the odds of that? Now here's how much of an optimist I am: I said to Heather while chatting about this on Facebook, "Maybe this is Karmic apology." Is there even such a thing? Karma knows the ass kicking I've taken over here and she's throwing me a break. No? Well, I went home at lunchtime and tried those bolts. They worked just fine! I had to pull out the bolt anchors before using them, but good enough. So I got back to work and looked for more. Thoa found another one still in the shelving. Now this brought the count to five. You'd think I needed 3 more, but you'd be wrong. You see, the bed has drawers. They are the steel runner type of drawers. The headboard AND the footboard bolt into the drawer piece with two bolts each. One bolt on either end is supposed to be screwed in UNDER THE DRAWER RUNNER. I guess I could drill another hole, but then I'd have to buy a drill. So really I needed just one more. I still haven't found it, but the bed is holding together so far. 

See the board leaning against the wall? That's the foot board. I only had the two bolts in at this point. One on either side of the headboard. But I now have three bolts in the footboard. That's all I can get in there. Like I say, it's holding together, but what a fiasco!

Next day I get a call in the morning from Me Hee. I know her name because this was one of a thousand pieces of information on the order form she texted me before she called me asking for some of the information on the order form she texted me. Specifically, my address. AGAIN!!! Wouldn't that be... um... the most important bit of information to have on a package that you give to a delivery person? It's not confirmation either. They ask you and then ask you to repeat it like they're copying it down. So I tell Me Hee my address and then text it to the number she called from. She replies, "I will send it to someone else." ???Dafuck???

At lunch while I was at home, Me Hee dropped off my package outside my door and ran away. Or maybe it was the person Me Hee sent it to? I can't figure this shit out. I open it up. It was the fitted mattress cover I'd ordered for the bed. You can see it's grey. I got a grey, quilted, cotton, queen size, mattress cover for 34,000 won. Like this:

The drawers on my bed are white. See how good this grey cover would look? Same colour as my bed. Certainly a better match than the bedding I have now, eh? Well, I may have misspoken. This wasn't what I got. THIS

is what I got. A white, non quilted, thin, polyestery, sheer, fragile, fitted sheet that was worth about 2,000 won. AND...

it's the wrong size. See the blue box that says, "Super Single?" That's not even close! I said that in my replacement request too. How is that even possible for crying out loud!

Coupang sent the bed. They're not getting a good review. On Tuesday when Thoa is here, I'll ask her to help me write a nasty review of the bed on the Coupang site. And today, I returned the mattress cover. Or at least I filled out a return request on the Gmarket site asking for them to replace what they gave me with what they were supposed to have given me. This is what happens when I try to shop online. Something EVERYbody here does all the frigging time.

You're going to think I'm kidding here, but WHILE I TYPED THIS, I got a call from yet another delivery driver. Guess what he wanted to know. My address. I wish I knew how to ask if it isn't written on the damn package. You know? The package from which you got my phone number? But I asked who he was and he said he was Teck Bay. I know that's a delivery company. So I'm giving him my address and he's asking me to repeat, you know, it's gotta be part of their training. So I ask him when he will be at my place. He says he's there right now! So I guess you go to the place written on the package then call the person and ask for his/her address. If you work for Teck Bay. But you know if I ask 100 people who have received deliveries from Teck Bay, how many of them do you think will tell me they had the same experience? I think you know. So I guess I'm back on Karma's bad side again.

Honestly, I'm at a loss here. So I told the guy to just drop it at the door. The delivery instructions that I gave when I filled out the exhaustive application forms with Thoa for both Gmarket and Coupang. In triplicate. At least. What's the purpose of filling that section in many times if the delivery men/women don't do it until after you've told them to over the phone? 

With the possible exception of "How is that even possible?" I find myself saying, "Everything's an ordeal!" a lot. I find myself saying that so often in Korea that I believe it should be the country's slogan. One or the other. Forget about the "Land of the morning calm." Everything's an ordeal. Or How is that even possible? Korea: Everything's an Ordeal! Sounds good. 

This is becoming like immigration. In fact there are a LOT of things I dread here. This is why. I have money waiting for me at the office of my health insurance. I guess I overpaid and they want to give me a refund. I know where the office is and I have my alien card, which is presumably all I will need. There are two reasons I have known about this refund for three months and have yet to collect it: One is because I'll need to do that during office hours and you know where I am every weekday during office hours. But secondly, I doubt I would have picked it up anyway because I am so traumatized by this shit happening over and over again, it's had what I believe to be its desired effect - I don't want to do anything unless it abso-fucking-lutely necessary. Even collecting money! 

Aminur, the other helper here, tells me that I could collect even more money from the government if I did my taxes every year. I just don't want to. They'd make it too much of an ordeal to be worth it. I may just quit the online shopping, trash my credit card and just go all the way to Seoul and get the stuff I can't get here. It'd be less of a hassle even though I'd need to lug it all the way home on the bus. But the more I go to my favourite shopping places in Seoul, the more of them are disappearing. My source for big size clothes in Itaewon was closed last time I was there. Maybe for good. Some of the better food marts too. But wandering around Itaewon in the heat, staying in an expensive hotel room overnight then lugging unwieldy bags of groceries and goods all the way home on the bus is less of a hassle than ordering online. How is That Even Possible? Everything's an Ordeal, that's how.

Semester-end Report

 I am up at 4 AM watching the first game of the NHL semi-finals. This means there are only 4 teams remaining. These days with Covid still hanging on and a job that requires me to be in the office 9 hours a day warming the seat of my desk chair for most of that time, I thank the good Lord for hockey! I've watched a good deal of the games and I've watched a lot of them while at "work." Now, to fairly describe my current working situation, if I WERE working all nine hours of every day, I'd be getting paid an hourly wage that is less than minimum wage. But calculating in two months of vacation, it's a bit more than minimum wage. $15.33 an hour. And if you consider I don't even teach for over half of my time at work, I am making over 30 bucks per hour of work. But I consider time at work to be worth something too. I'm a visible presence. I'm here if needed, even if that's rarely or never. I deter prospective trespassing, vandalism and theft, even if that's rare or never happens. I've worked security and I know the value of just sitting or standing in a place so people can see you. It's minimum wage, THAT'S the value of it! At least it was for all the scumbag security companies I worked for in Canada. So I should be paid the 30 bucks an hour, which I'm worth, for my hours of teaching and 15 bucks an hour for the other hours I'm here. Or I should just not BE here when I'm not teaching. Hell even when I AM teaching. 

Around about the year 2002, so like almost 20 years ago, I was making 50 bucks an hour. When I worked for SKhynix, I was told by some of the execs I taught how much they were paying for an hour of classes with me. It was more like 75 bucks an hour. So I'm worth MORE than the 30 an hour I'm currently pulling in, but I'm fine with that. So long as I don't have to do security work voluntarily. I'll eventually convince them of this. I don't think it'll be a problem to go home when I'm not needed and get it written in my contract by the end of my first 11 months here. It's just gonna be shitty getting through all this wasted, salary-sapping time. However, if they smarten up and give me a normal contract the second time around, it'll be okay. 

So as you read this, I don't want you to think of it as a complaint. I'm happy with the job. Very happy! I liked all of my students and I like most of the international students I am associating with. I got some really nice comments from my students saying they enjoyed my class and I sincerely hope they feel their English got better either taking my classes via Zoom or face-to-face in my office. I left a little early for lunch or at the end of the day a few times, but I can honestly say I was there the whole semester, all nine hours of my work day every day. 

But if you recall, I didn't start at the beginning of the semester. I started a month late (Apr. 1 instead of Mar. 1). I suspected this would cause problems and it did. Housing was the first of the difficulties. I had little to choose from and the place I ended up in, even though it was the far superior choice of the places I looked at, is a rip-off. It isn't as big, new, or nice in any way as my previous apartment. And my previous apartment was in a bigger city. I've had to spend quite a bit of money to make it as comfortable as I could replacing fixtures and buying furniture and tomorrow, (rather, today) my bed will be delivered at around 3 in the afternoon. I'll need to pay some cash on delivery, so it's not the sort of thing the deliverers will be able to just leave outside my door. 

The second problem I foresaw was with severance pay. When I first met my supervisor, Pyunghwa, I asked about it. You see, over my years of working here in Korea, I've learned a lot of the laws the employers like to take advantage of here. As I have said many times before, they all do it to make themselves feel like savvy business-folk, and if you're here long enough, you learn to accept it and prepare for it since you will still have a decent deal even after their cheap chicanery. And if they can stroke their business egos on your dime, instead of your dollar, it ain't so bad. So even though I asked Pyunghwa at contract signing time if I'd get my full severance pay (one month's salary) at the end of my 11-month contract even though the law says you give it after 12 months of work, she assured me I'd be paid, but not in writing and not in a way that was very convincing. On Friday she pointed out that I won't be getting my severance pay at the end of my 11th month of work here. Not a huge surprise.

In that same meeting, I was told a few other things. One is that my office will be changing soon to a building much farther from my apartment. The commute will have 5 or 10 extra minutes added to it, but this is not my immediate concern. I've been told that the whole international program will be moved and the only people who have visited my current office are the members of the department that will be taking it over when the change is made. You know, scoping out the offices and mentally arranging desks, lamps, fans etc. I haven't been able to investigate what will be my new office. This is my concern.

At present, I'm all alone. And I love that! Nobody has come into my office except the aforementioned scopers, and the helper I have every day. That's been either Aminur, Thoa, or Achilles. Why do I have a helper even though I don't even have enough to keep myself busy? They are from Bangladesh, Vietnam and China respectively, but they all speak Korean. That has been their help to this point. And I've been able to do a few things with their help. I got a health check done with Aminur's help. Turned out to be a useless waste of money and time, but... I also have been able to join the ranks of the online shopper here in Korea. This has burnt more than a few hours of my ample spare time at work, and it was how I purchased my bed actually. I have tried and been frustrated a few times to do online shopping here in Korea because you can get some things online that are really hard to find otherwise. It took hours and hours and multiple attempts, but Thoa helped me get signed up on Coupang and Gmarket. Without her Korean abilities, I wouldn't have been able to do it. 

For example, Friday night I visited Rob and Meagan and told them the news I'm sharing here over burgers, beers and salt and vinegar kettle chips. I brought the chips, which I'd bought on Coupang. They were much appreciated too! That made me happy. Rob teaches at Gongju and Meagan teaches IN Gongju too. This is how I know I am the only teacher at Gongju University being forced to go into class at all. Rob teaches completely from home and online. I did that all last year when I was at Gongju in Cheonan too. With the international program, I am expected to make myself available to the students in case they want to ask about anything they might be having trouble with, or just talk to someone in English. I had 4 hours of office time a week that was euphemistically written down as "International Student Counselling" on my schedule. As I said, NObody came in. Nobody.

Now with the semester over, the building I'm in will be locked. Some of the international students have been given phone scan cards to get into the sliding door to the building, but they don't work. Till the end of last week, there was a swinging door that was left open, so that didn't matter. But then the swinging door was also locked. What a glorious example of "mo technology - mo problems" THAT was! The doors were locked at 5 after the other side of the international offices, the students, had cleared out. THEY get to go home at 5. But I was still there. Even my helper was gone. Then when I tried to go home, I couldn't get out of the building. I shit thee not, I was locked into the building. I knew they wanted me to stay in the office for whatever antiquated reason, but this was ridiculous! Pyunghwa had promised, Monday, to give me a card for the sliding door. She sent a helper over with the card. Luckily, it worked. Before I left that night, this was Thursday, I had to let a few other stranded people out of the building when their phone cards didn't work. Then Friday morning I had to let some folks in and, believe it or not, Friday after lunch, I had to let some people out. I guess they'd been stranded there for the entire lunch hour. Hilarious!

Anyway, since Pyunghwas is no longer my supervisor, I don't really have contact information for the new girl, I don't have any classes to teach, and I have a delivery to receive at 3:00 tomorrow, I'm planning on being at my apartment at 3. Since there is nobody from the international department in my building, I doubt this will be noticed. However, when we move the international department to the new building, I'm not so sure I'll be able to get away with such subterfuge. 

I am also planning on bringing pants and dress shirt to work with me for the next three weeks, but don't intend to change into them unless necessary. And I can't imagine a scenario in which they might be necessary. I'll be wearing shorts and tee-shirt. This too I might not be able to pull off at the new building. So this is my concern.

My one duty for the next three weeks is to write a curriculum for July. A four-week teacher training curriculum. I'll be teaching English to some of the profs here. I've heard some of them have really bad English, but I usually enjoy teaching teachers, and I actually prefer low levels, so I'm happy to do this. What I'm not so happy about is, you guessed it, the other teachers will have this time off. Vacation. And if you ever want to see an example of a bogus, time-waster of a schedule, get a load of this:

Yup. That's my sched. Class every day at 10. Then four hours of pud pulling followed by a class at 2. A three-hour afternoon session of canine coitus, then a class at 6 PM. Friday is different because nobody, except me, will be doing anything but starting the weekend after 4 PM. I'll likely have to stay three more hours jackin' my joint until I start my weekend at 7 on Friday night. 

Again, to whinge about monetary compensation or the work would be ungrateful. Especially in these times when the ESL industry is toughening up. I'm betting it won't be long till a masters will be required for any university position here, so I should count my blessings. Also, I get all of August off. And January, I'm told. And in other mitigating news, Pyunghwa told me that if I stay another year, I will be able to collect severance on the entire 23 months I will have worked by the end of my second contract. Of course I'll be getting that written INTO my second contract. I'm also hoping to impress upon management the idea of allowing me to go home when there is absolutely no use for me. Not sure if I will get that written in the contract, or if I'll be able to swing an agreement with someone at contract time. But any such agreement will be tough to make if I'm in the same office as the old fashioned, Korean dinosaurs who are trying their best to maintain the traditionally inefficient 9 hour day with 2/3 of that day wasted and only 1/3 of it doing anything productive. 

Last year I had a lot more problems and I was able to say, "But not to worry, two months vacation coming up." This year I have fewer problems and am able to say, "Not to worry, a month of vacation coming up." I don't have to jack around with the online portal or LMS gymnastics. I don't have to give grades or listen to students crying the blues about the "low" grades they received. These I may exchange for a month less vacation if given the choice. So again, counting my blessings right about now. But July is gonna be a bit hard to take. Especially with the hot, humid, sticky walks to work that I know none of the other teachers are being forced to make. 

Well, it's 6:40 AM. Islanders win game one 2-1! I like the Islanders better than the Lightning so I'm happy. I'm glad I got up to watch. And since I have nothing I really need to do at work today, I'll be fine with the sleep deprivation. Also, it'll be nice to have my own bed upon which to recover from it tonight. I'm still happy to be working so I can buy nice things like beds too. Aside from frustrations with Korean ways of doing things like the desk warming and the exhaustively repetitive online form filling, text answering and even phone calls I have to deal with - I had a delivery guy who was looking at my package that had on it my name, address, email, alien card #, passport #, personal customs code, preferred underwear brand... and phone number, send me an SMS on my phone asking for my name, address, email, alien card #, etc., etc., etc... - but other than those minor stressors I'm sweating, but I know I shouldn't be, life is pretty good here. I really shouldn't say things like that, should I?

A Little Backpedaling

... and the day after I self-sabotage, I usually find articles like this one, or this one, that I use as a sober backpedaling, hangoverish, apologetic plea to the folks who have just blocked me or determined not to listen to me any more. So many things in the world are highly complicated! The Covid 19 thing is just one of them.

I wasn't the only one who had doubts about such a seemingly impossibly fast transition from discovering a new virus to jabbing people with a vaccine that was being called completely safe and fully tested. The previous record, as both articles above state, had been 4 years. We got the Covid 19 vax in eight months! What the hell, bro?!?!

It turns out that the above articles are what the hell, bro. While it is hard information not to doubt when you consider things like this, it IS better than, "Just get your jab, stupid." Still, in a culture where we've been socialized to "just say no" to some drugs, we're now being told to trust an industry that is not to be trusted and just say yes to its seemingly fast-tracked (and as pointed out before, highly profitable) vaccines. And as if this isn't already confusing enough - I shit thee not - joints for jabs. 

A year and a half after I first heard about Covid 19, back when it was being called the Wuhan Flu, member?, ten months after the release of the lightning fast vaccine, I am just now hearing about why it was so lightning fast. This odd confluence of events makes me wonder why the news wasn't available earlier. But maybe it was. Maybe another phenomenon is coming into play here. One I admit to, and I think if we're honest (which we aren't) we could ALL admit to, 

Here is a great article that a friend posted on Facebook that I, being within my weekly limit of free New Yorker browsing, was able to read. The remarkable lengths and breadths of human reason may be more about winning arguments than the thirsts for knowledge and human advancement, it turns out. And "once formed, impressions are remarkably perseverant." Even when presented with facts which prove us wrong, it seems to be in our nature to cling at least a little bit longer to cherished beliefs. Some of us cling longer than others. Some never let them go. This has been termed "confirmation bias." In the above example, I presented myself with the explanations of how the Covid 19 vaccine had materialized so mysteriously fast, which was that in actuality, it hadn't. It was possible to use data from studies on previous corona viruses, some which had taken years to compile, to sort of reshape the virus and make it easier to combat. I have little understanding of how the mRNA encodes a key protein of the Covid 19 virus and causes our bodies to produce the protein that acts as an antigen. It's all Greek to me. But evidently it works! The vaccines have been a huge success! So why do I then start hemming and hawing about how it took so long for this information to be released? That'd be yer confirmation bias methinks. I'm still clinging to my cherished premise in the argument to defend the doubters of the vaccines, the postulation that these vaccines were rushed. Which is wrong. But I still like. Because of how serviceable, even in its wrongness, the use of this gem had been in past writing, and, yes, arguing for me. 

Confirmation bias. That's a useful way of summarizing how sometimes when we realize we've lost the point, we carry on hoping to still win the argument. Occasionally we're all like lawyers who continue to jealously defend our clients even after they have informed us they're guilty as sin without an ounce of remorse. A lawyer's reputation, and that of his/her firm, could sustain damage due to a guilty verdict, so even though it's the right one, the lawyer fights for what is wrong. Honestly, can you say you've never found yourself doing that? What are we thinking in these moments? Are we thinking of our careers as arguers? Are we worried our win/loss stats can't take the hit? Somehow our status will be diminished and we will lose our reputations as formidable foes in conversational disagreement? Just who do we think we are?

Well, according to that New Yorker article, because of the "myside bias," we DON'T think about who we think we are. We're too busy poking holes in other people's arguments (and adept through practice at doing so) to be able to poke holes in, or even see, the holes in our own. And with readily accessible heaps of information, real and fake, on the internet, twitter, TV, Youtube, etc., etc., it has become so much easier to maintain false perceptions of "rightness" and bolster them with legitimate sounding fiction, and attack opponents' arguments with false perceptions of "wrongness" bolstered by that same legitimate sounding fiction! We can, in a word, find plausible support for any dumb arguments we'd like to cling to. In a society with constantly increasing population that will inevitably lead to necessities like coping skills, conflict resolution, compromise, cooperation and problem solving, our evolution seems to be swift - but in the wrong direction. It's likely to be our undoing. This has been known for some time. 

I chose the above quote carefully knowing, as few would dare think, that Carl Sagan is most likely speaking from experience. 

Not only is the vast amount of information available to us that can support our biases, but there are no shortages of fraudsters, foxes and fiends out there who will exploit our biases and beliefs for their own gain. Life ain't no picnic folks! We've gotta keep our heads on swivels and our sticks on the ice. Take this article for example. It's about something called "affinity fraud." People who find something you have a liking or sympathy for, and through similar affinity (sometimes they even believe it's genuine!) they gain your confidence and abuse it. Ephren Taylor is an example given in the above article. He used a con I have particular distaste for, the "gospel of prosperity," you know, "God wants you to be rich," to fleece similar believers out of about 16 million dollars in the US. 

"Investing wisely is a Biblical principle. God wants us to be prosperous and help further the Kingdom." That's essentially what Anita Dorito (or whatever) said even after her and her husband lost 1.3 million bucks to Ephren Taylor's Ponzi scheme. When religious believers crash hard after trying to insinuate human greed into the teachings of Jesus and refusing to acknowledge the gaping holes in the philosophy, they tend to just blame it on the Devil. The Dorios might have even forgiven Ephren Taylor, who knows? It'd probably be easier than admitting THEY had anything to do with what happened to them, and/or are a perfect object lesson for the hardships wealth can bring and why one shouldn't obsess about building up riches or getting too attached to property here on earth, but, through good deeds, should store up gold in heaven. But, whatever. Most would rather hear it from Yoda than Jesus.

I know of a guy closer to home who is an example on a whole other scale! A guy named Hwang Sung Gook. A Korean dude. Ever hoid of him? Probably not. How about Bill Hwang? Archegos? Well, settle in for a tale of woe for a Tiger Cub who probably lost more money, and lost it faster than anyone. Probably ever. Estimates range anywhere from 20 to 100 Billion, most or all of that in TWO DAYS! Intrigued? What if I tell you he is a devout Christian who believes he was using capitalism to do God's good work raising all that money in highly questionable ways? And what if I tell you he plead guilty to insider trading of Chinese bank stocks in 2012, was fined 44 million and was banned from trading in Hong Kong for 4 years? 

I don't know how many times I've said that a guy could make millions in Korea as an evangelist. The Korean idea of Christianity includes some of the most highly motivated people you will ever see and an adherence to the gospel of prosperity that makes the whole flock of them seem like a giant cartel to me. But OH the riches to be made from those sheep! If I were an amoral, capitalist Korean, I would have jumped on that. But I'm not, and it turns out I was wrong. There weren't millions to be made, there were BILLIONS.

Bill Hwang moved from Korea to the US when he was of McDonald's working age. The story goes, he took a job there to improve his English. I don't know if it was flipping burgers that improved his English or the prospect of becoming filthy rich in the world of stocks, hedge funds and derivatives, but he speaks English like a native now. His dad died and he and his mother moved to California where he worked as a salesman for Hyundai Securities till he was 33. He caught the eye of Julian Robertson and was recruited into his Tiger Management firm, which instantly made him. Hwang introduced Robertson to the Korean markets and Tiger bought a huge stake in SK Telecom among other Asian stocks. Hwang became known for investing "deep" and dangerous, but being successful at it. Almost as if God were on his side. He got annual returns of around 40%, which is HUGE! Who wouldn't invest with a guy who could get you 40% return on your investment?

Things were going gangbusters for Hwang until 2007 when he bet big against Volkswagen. Porsche bought lots of VW stock and its value soared 348% in 2 days. That absolutely killed investors who had "shorted" it! This mistake caused Tiger Asia to end its year DOWN 23%. Then in 2012, the insider trading with Hong Kong hedge funds sort of forced Hwang out of Tiger and into a new venture on his own. This would be Archegos. His ban from HK meant he was shut out of the hedge fund market, so he opened what is called a "family office." In this capacity, he mostly dealt with his own money, colleagues from his days in Tiger and friends (and possibly even family) all of whom shared his zeal for God, capitalism and the Church. 

The SEC doesn't make "family offices" disclose holdings, so it's a more private way of investing. Family offices are also exempt from Dodd/Frank regulation that resulted from the 2008 meltdown. While nobody was really watching him, Hwang bought "total return swaps" through Archegos. These are derivatives that give investors exposure to losses and gains with the anonymity of doing it under the banks' names. And even though all Archegos' investments were in banks' names, the various banks were unable to trace other investments by Archegos since they were undisclosed. None of the banks knew how much Hwang was borrowing from other banks. This allowed him to "leverage" his loans to the hilt! Instead of investing something normal like 20-50% of money borrowed, Hwang leveraged 5 fold or even higher. In other words, he bought 5 times the stocks than the amount of money he had borrowed. Oh, I forgot to mention this: because he was such a nice guy, banks and the stock market just allowed him to do this! He took advantage of the confidence of the banks, the markets and Archegos' customers. 

Because nobody really knows, it's estimated that Archegos started with about 200 million and got investments of about 30 billion, which was used to buy about 100 billion in stock. Or something like that. Then the banks noticed. It was something to do with Viacom making a business decision that lost them money and needing to pay stock holders for shares they were selling because of it. They asked for payment and because everything was bought on credit, Archegos defaulted. Big time. Then other stocks followed suit in domino effect. NOW the banks knew what Bill Hwang had been doing. But they couldn't dump their faulty loans onto other banks because they had the same faulty loans. It wasn't long before the banks started eating each other alive trying to be the ones to lose the least. The banks were Credit Suisse, Nomura (Japan), Deutsche Bank, Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley and UBS (another Swiss bank). Some of the stocks he invested in were Viacom CBS, Baidu, VIPShop, Farfetch, and Discovery Inc.

He was the son of a church pastor. He was a hugely successful investor with a Wall Street giant. He donated to a lot of Christian and Korean causes. People found a lot of "affinity" with him, and he totally used that against them. He is a greedy shadow trader and a lot of people are calling for changes in investment transparency laws because of him. In these days when private citizens, not countries, are flying into space, private citizens, not banks, are crashing stock markets, I'd say that might be a good idea, no? At any rate, even though he probably should be in prison, even though the financial damage he caused was exponentially greater than Ephren Taylor's, even though he was spanked harder than anyone in history by Mammon, the god of money, do you think he'll question his Christian capitalism? I don't either.

Archegos means one who leads the way" and it was used to describe Jesus as a leader of lives. This is probably why that name was chosen for Hwang's firm. However, he will likely be known as a leader in the category of the most epic stock market loser ever. There are few holes even his biggest fans could find in that argument. Yet, could he be convinced of that?

I wish I could tell you what has happened with Bill Hwang since March of this year, but I can't find anything. He's dropped off the face of the internet. Wisely so since about a million investors in the companies he single-handedly devalued would probably like to hasten his ultimate meeting with the God he loves so much. 

At any rate, and at long last, my point here today was not to be like people with confirmation bias or myside bias or one of Sagan's bamboozled, or especially not take advantage of any affinities we might share to mislead you. I printed that I thought the vaccines were rushed. I now know they weren't. So this is my backpedaling. I'd prefer to think of it as a retraction although the readership of this publication hardly qualifies it as one, so it may be inaccurate to use that term. That will be all.