This is the reason I absolutely LOVE my little kiddies! The elementary school kids are knockin' it outta the park every day! There are a lot of them who have WAAAAY too much energy and I am constantly telling them to take the volume off the Spinal Tap 11, but in almost every case, those kids are doing their work and learning even more than the quiet ones! So I don't mind the noise much. There IS one girl who enjoys when the boys make her scream and as the brown note is to the bowels, her scream note is to my earballs! The sound pierces the eardrums and when it stops I hear something go CLUNK in my head. I can actually feel the pain with every CLUNK. Last night I slept wrong and had a very sore neck. Her screaming made it just a little bit worse and with every CLUNK it spread right on down the trapezius and became a neck AND shoulder pain. And today we played Bingo. And she won! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CLUNK!
Next I had one of many classes who used to like me but now that I've been ordered to add more structure and routine, and not play so many games with the kids, we spend a lot of the time in class talking about how this lesson is not interesting and how they would really like to play a game. Also, they are very tired and there are the sighs and moans and groans when we open up the book or when I present them with a lesson that doesn't appear to them to be a game. That or they expend a LOT of energy conversing in Korean. You tell them they will never play another game ever again if they don't knock it off but it's the exact same posturing I get with every Korean boss. They think I'm bluffing until it's too late.
Let me explain what I mean with the fourth class I taught today. Last class they were doing the exact same thing I just described. I had planned a good lesson and created a supplementary worksheet complete with pictures and hours and hours of conversation topics on it. It took me a long time and it was, if I do say so myself, quite creative. A few of them looked at a few of the many, many conversation topics on the sheet and with monotonous languidity, lobbed a couple at their partners, which were met with pedestrian replies followed by, "FINISHED!" I got a bit riled up. I told them for the umpteenth time, "Never EVER finish! There's enough conversation material there to wear Joan Rivers out! You can NOT possibly be finished! Get busy!" I told one specific student who had actually put his head down on his desk like he was going to sleep to choose a topic and start talking with his group. He said, "No." Have I successfully described how much work I do and how much work I had put into this lesson? This little 9-year-old asshole was testing his powers. The same way countless employers have in my days over here. I'd still be working at Chonnam University, my first university gig here if the person in charge there had any idea what an honest person was like in negotiations. They don't. Even at 9 years old!
At Chonnam I told them I was quitting and they stonewalled me until I actually had a plane ticket to Canada and was all packed. Then they started with the, "Oh, sorry, we were a little hasty. We're sorry we completely fucked you over. Let us make it up to you by offering you a much better contract." And by then they had forfeited every ounce of trust they ever had, so I DID leave. And they were shocked! I'm sure there were many people saying, "Holy shit! He was serious! I thought he was just negotiating."
This little 9-year-old, future businessman reckoned he was in negotiations with someone the likes of which he'd met before. He wasn't. I told him, I think twice, "You don't say NO to me! Get busy, NOW or go home!" To which he replied, "No." I walked slowly around the square of desks that separated us giving him plenty of time to recant his false bravado, but he didn't. When I got to him I pulled out his chair, with him in it, saying, "Buhbye! See you next class. Go home!" He just gave me a hunched over dead weight and required extra prodding so I picked him up by the shirt and pointed him toward the door. I know, I know, this is child abuse in Canada, but not here. I was in control of my emotions, don't worry. Though I would like to have given him a good smack in the head, I didn't.
I said, "Get your things and let's go. Come on! Go home! You don't say NO to me!" He then started mumbling, "David, ummm, uhhh, nooo, I am sorry..." I said, "No you're not! Come on, let's go. Get out!" I told him to sit on the chair outside the door. He hadn't brought all his stuff with him so he couldn't go home. But I got back into the class and every single other student was gobsmacked at my behaviour! I am not sure if it was another example of me causing someone to lose face or if they were just shocked that I was human and not some white bearded, Canadian, non-purple Barney! He was obviously trying to show how brave he was and he got stuffed. I felt a little bit of athletic BOOYAH as I returned to the classroom. Bear in mind, this is a student who had been giving me trouble for a long time. So I went a little overboard, adrenalin I suppose, and said, "Anyone else?" as I re-entered the classroom. So, still running a blood pressure that was possibly inadvisable for making such a speech, I gave the class the, "I am the boss," talking to. They understood one of every 10 words at best but they understood the gist from context. This was, as an aside, a VERY good English lesson for them all. Korean students far too often think they need to understand every word of English in every sentence before they understand what's being said. I guarantee they knew what I was saying even though it was barked at them with no consideration for their very low level of English. I know this because, suddenly everyone was doing the lesson with renewed vigour! Almost miraculous recoveries from former fatigue were unanimous!
Before too long I went out into the hall and fetched him back into the class making him first say that I am the boss. Today, the class was back to farting around. Not two days removed from this display, I have reverted to my harmless, mascot of a teacher former self. They weren't as bad as they were last class, but it's clear that they consider that show of discipline a one-off and still consider my class a respite from the gulags their Korean teachers turn their classrooms into. They all must figure I was just in a really bad mood that day.
The next class was one of two debate classes I had scheduled for the end of the day. Both middle school classes and both have been very difficult. It's much like my other middle school classes: they are learning stuff that is WAAAAY too advanced for them. Debate. These students don't have the English ability to debate why the chicken crossed the road. When the Korean teachers teach them they say they understand everything. Geez I wonder why. Oh they assure me they teach the classes in English but they lie.
The format for all these debate classes is the same. I give them a topic, spend about 5 hour-long lessons covering several great arguments for BOTH sides of the upcoming debate, always making sure to point out the points that are useful for the debate to the students and come debate day, they have 2 or 3 points per 6 debater team. I give them homework the class before the debate. I tell every student to come up with TWO arguments that will support their team. TWO out of the dozen we've covered that very class! And if I'm shooting for the moon, maybe one of their own? No that never happens. A few do the homework if any.
So today they rolled on into class, started putting on hand lotion; some were brushing hair, one girl was looking at herself in the mirror while another girl trimmed her bangs, others pulled out their books from more important classes and started doing that work, and every last one of them was blathering on in Korean. I asked if any had done the homework and was surprised to find that 3 had. Two had found 2 arguments for their team and one had found two arguments for the other team. She'd been wrongly informed of which team she was on. There was one student who was absent the class before so she hadn't done her homework, (and she's usually one of the few who does), so I took the four of them to one side of the room and played a game with them. The other students, 2/3 of the class, were writing on paper not two but TEN arguments for their side of the debate. The four students really enjoyed the game we played and the other students all finished the 10 points. I have no doubt that no lesson was learned by any of them, that 2/3 of the class hates me for reasons they have manufactured themselves and the next debate will be an even greater flop.
And these are not even my worst students! I have one class that makes these guys look like angels!
But before I end on this dismal note, I have some students that make my GGGGRRRRRRRRR turn into awwwwwwww. It's teacher's day on Sunday and a few of my students mentioned it in my class and drew some pictures on the whiteboard wishing me happy teacher's day. That was nice. But one, just one, little girl, in secret, gave me a folded paper sort of bouquet of flowers and wouldn't let me look at the back until she was gone. On the back it read, "Happy teacher day." I almost cried.
Then there's these girls.
This is Sandy and Angelina. Sandy is the Sandy who I said is probably my best student. The one with the beautiful penmanship and whose father bought me and David's beers on Children's Day. Her and Angelina are almost always partners and Angelina could very well be my second best. Today we were at the end of a chapter and we were making "caring collages." They were two of the very few who had brought pictures for the collage, (which I had assigned as homework the class before and like the middle school kids, most of this class had ignored it because homework doesn't fucking work). So they had worked the entire class on their collage and it was nowhere near finished. They asked if they could use some of my supplies to finish in the hallway after class was over. I couldn't believe it! They sat on the floor and coloured and cut and pasted and worked for another hour and then some to finish their assignment. And it was gorgeous! I asked them where they wanted it to be displayed in the classroom and it now is the only thing hanging on the main window. Working OVERtime! What a couple of sweethearts! I think if I had hugged them I could have squeezed the anger at my other students right out of me, but that might have crushed these two little angels to death. So I didn't.
I have some super good students who are mature beyond their years and are trying their best to convince the little princes and princesses to have a little respect, but theirs and mine is a thankless struggle. In a very short time I have developed a real fondness for some of my students here though, and that's what makes me strap on the smiley mask and flak jacket and take the beatings I know will come with every new day at work.
I AM looking for new work, but here's how life is: When and if I find something better, I'll be less relieved to be done with the outrageously heavy schedule and the disrespectful students, and I'll probably remember the good ones like Nora, (who gave me the folded flowers), Sandy and Angelina. That's just how the cookie crumbles I guess.
But I have some good leads and I'll be putting in some resumes this weekend. If I get a better position, (and some of these are half the work for more pay), I'll be happy, but I'll miss the good things about the job I have now. It's so weird how sometimes we remember negative things longer, like Korea hating the Japanese for their past ills a long time ago, yet so quickly forgetting how more recently, the U.S. preserved their very existence and now they hate them too. Yet, most of us, including Koreans, will remember good things and block out bad things from the past. I guess it just has to do with what we remind ourselves of more often. I dunno.
Like I said a couple of posts ago, this job has been a life-saver. But it's just not what I do. I don't think it'll be long before you see me posting about a new gig at a new university or military college or something like that. I'd like to finish this contract, but we'll see what happens. Will the good students be able to keep my sticktoitiveness primed through the hot, muggy, mosquito infested months of Korean summer, or will the bad kids who are deadheading it through my 50-minute classes break my spirits? Only time will tell...
Here's an addendum to this post. It's not even 6 AM and I've been up for an hour. Partially sleepless because of the debate class described above. We'll call them the mutineers. I actually didn't go far enough back in the history of this class. The debate that was cancelled last class was the second one in a row they've thrown. It's mostly, but not all, the boys. Last debate was girls vs. the boys and it was forfeited. I made the boys write 10 supporting arguments each as punishment for the absence of any effort or concern they showed on debate day. And really, if I'm honest, on every day. Then the 10 supporting arguments while the good students played a game last class. Yesterday was their latest class and if I thought before that there wasn't an organized mutiny on my hands, all doubt went out the window. They showed up about 5 minutes before class started, dumped their bags in the class and every one of them, even the good students, went to the store to buy food, gum, even ICE CREAM, knowing full well that eating is not allowed in class. The good students were on time along with one girl who is probably trying to convince the girls to do what the boys are doing. She never ever does any work and I think she coasts by because she's good looking and popular. When I ask her to do something I get attitude. I'll call her B.A. because I don't want to use her real name, which is Su Ah. Hee hee hee.
She comes to class with a minute before class begins, eating an ice cream bar and holding one that's not opened. I should have just grabbed them both and chucked them in the garbage, but then I'm the bad guy. This is what I mean by manufacturing hatred of me. I told her she had one minute to eat all that ice cream and that she was going to have brain freeze. Not that she'll be needing that brain for the next 50 minutes, but... She managed to eat and give other students bites of her ice cream and it was gone a few minutes into class time. It didn't matter because the boys still weren't there. THEY marched in 5-10 minutes late with pockets and mouths full of food. Revenge for the previous class, no doubt. I told them not to eat and not to use the desks as trash cans. I had found a certain student's desk, (big, popular and I would bet from a rich family), nicknamed Terry, full of My Chew wrappers because all last class he ate, shared with the other boys and didn't do his work. Actually 2 classes ago, he wasn't there for the debate fiasco. They managed that one without him. So it's not just one student, it's an organized affair.
Anyhoo, I told them that we were going to choose a new chapter with a new debate topic. Anybody have a preference? Anybody? Anybody? Buehler? Buehler? One of the good kids bailed me out and chose the chapter about being rich and famous. The debate is whether it's good or bad. So we start on the first page, which says, and I think it is worded misleadingly so as to avoid using the difficult hypothetical language and conditional form with "if" and "would." The question was, "Imagine you are rich and famous, 1. Where do you live? 2. Where do you go on vacation? 3. What do you eat? 4. What are your hobbies?" It took an eternity for most of the class to actually start. When they did, they had answers like, Gangneung/Seoul/Chicken/Sleep. Those were B.A.'s answers. So I explained to her what the question was and instantly got the, tsk - eye roll - groan combination like I was somehow overburdening her. Which is a favourite move of hers that I have cautioned her on before. I told her to lose the attitude, then explained what that meant, as if she didn't know. I did the same yesterday and while explaining got a new move: the "say yeah, nod and look bored every time I start speaking." She should have been hoofed outta class right then, but I don't want to give them ammunition. This is the childish game we're playing. They WANT me to blow my stack and kick them out because it will give them reason to hate me and do what they are already doing. The reasons they are already boycotting my class are mostly because I am nice and they are not mature enough to be nice back to me, and may never be. Nice = weakness. It's a lifelong perception for many. Take advantage of it without guilt. It is how lots of people get ahead in life and it's not really discouraged.
Also I think there is a little opposition because I'm not good looking, I'm not young and I'm not thin. Koreans are absolutely BRUTAL when it comes to their behaviour towards beautiful and not beautiful people! Middle school might be when that is at its worst although this IS the plastic surgery capital of the world. I've heard of Koreans getting work done on their DOGS! They can be incredibly shallow! Plus, there's a little dash of the old anti-foreigner sentiment that is gaining momentum in Korea. It's street cred for kids to be rude to a foreigner. It's how they prove their patriotism. Plus pure laziness. And this is one I talked about before. I used to feel for the kids being hugely overworked in schools and try not to tax them too hard. I played games and had a lot of free talking. But this is not possible with this generation of kids. First of all they don't do nearly as much schoolwork as they used to. Still a lot but not as much. And secondly, they're spoiled. Respect is on a rapid decline in Korea! So whereas kids used to try to converse in their limited English during free talking because they appreciated not having to work very hard in class, these days, kids don't even try. They just blab away in Korean. Kids also used to appreciate games and it improved their work ethic for a few classes afterwards. These kids? It just makes them demanding. "We know you have games. We will not do your work. Give us the games or else!"
So I spend about 40 minutes maintaining my cool amidst obvious attempts to piss me off. David, who I reported before and whose parents were contacted by the hagwon boss, blew a bubble at one point. Terry, with his hands in his crotch doing exactly what I had told him not to do, (opening a My Chew), when told to stop, quickly brought his hands up and put it into his mouth. In both cases the class thought these actions were hilarious and laughed too loud and too long to waste the maximum amount of time. There was a bug flying around in the class that produced highly exaggerated reactions from several of the girls. Screams and hair swiping and shivers, again, all laughed at. One girl spent an elongated period of time on the floor against the wall having been "scared" by a little fly. These are harmless flies that don't bite. Not even mosquitoes. All this with the incessant Korean conversation at too high a volume. I decided to explain to the class, most of whom STILL didn't understand that they were to imagine they were rich and famous, how to do the exercise. An exercise they had already wasted 30 minutes on. I called for quiet. Again and again. It was clear it was not forthcoming. I then said the next person who talks will write 100 lines. Another person talked, then another and another. I had 4 people on the hook for lines and was explaining now what writing 100 lines meant. Without, of course, making it understood. I wrote, "1. I will be quiet when David tells me to be quiet. 2. I will be quiet when " One student asked me, "Do I write 1 and 2 100 times or 200 times?"
Finally I saw Terry just randomly punching the boys beside him and getting punched back. Absolutely anything but doing what they're supposed to be doing! So I told Terry to go home. This is always met with refusal. I told him again and again. Then students started getting quiet. Terry says, "I'm sorry, teacher." I said, "No you're not, get the hell out of here!" I grabbed his book and almost threw it out the window, thought better of it and threw it out into the hall. He eventually left. THEN the class was quiet and obedient. But we had 5 minutes left and hadn't accomplished a fraction of what we should. So I gave them pretty much the whole lesson for homework, which most won't do, and gave them a talking-to, which most didn't understand. Basically, don't make me angry. I got a lot of yes, teacher, yes, okay but don't think they were genuine. I even cancelled the lines. But they will still have enough ammunition to justify the continuation of the mutiny in their minds.
After the class I explained most of this to the boss. She was more on my side than I expected. But I know she was having trouble with this group as well because she had come into my class during the beginning before the boys had made their appearance and told some of the girls to go clean up the bathroom. They had cut one girls' hair in the bathroom and made a mess of it. The same one who was having her hair cut on debate day. She, the boss, says we are going to have to do something about this class. She mentioned actually booting some kids out but I think it was the end of the day and SHE was as frustrated as I was. I told her who the main culprits were and I think she is going to have speaks with a few parents. We shall see what effect that has.
The nice thing was, I told her that I don't want to come to work every day and yell. She was right with me on that. I think she's been hearing me yelling a lot. If the daily yelling doesn't quit, I'm going to leave and I think she knows it. I've got a lot of patience, but not that much. I have NEVER worked with such bad students before. Not just bad at studying, some of them are just bad kids. There needs to be a culling because the bad kids are taking over and that will make the good kids leave. It's already started.
And so continues my uncanny knack for landing in the wrong workplace at the wrong time. I am the Cal Ripken of that!
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