The Blizzard Bowl

Two posts in a row about hockey? Come on! Unheard of! No WAY! Ah shut up, it's my blog.

I just find it too hard to keep inside what I think half the hockey world, might be missing about the promotional gimmick that was the outdoor Canada/U.S. World Jr. game yesterday.

Going in, it seemed like Canada had all the advantages. They didn't play the day before, while the U.S. DID. They are used to playing out in the cold, most of the team being from Alberta and Ontario, while the U.S. has two players from Florida. Most are from Minnesota, Michigan and Missouri, but two guys from Florida? That's gotta be an advantage for Canada, right?

Well the thing about an outdoor game is you're at the mercy of the elements. I heard beforehand that if there was too much snow, they were going to cancel the game and bring it indoors. There was too much snow. So why did they carry on? Why do I ask this question all the time? The answer is always the same. Why does anything wrong, evil, stupid, ridiculous EVER happen? 99% of the time you can trace it back to money. The other 1% of the time the money is just better hidden.

The attendance record for a World Jr. hockey game was broken. Despite the 401 being a parking lot due to a burning truck. And I'm sure the weather kept some away. I heard it was -10, with snow, and who knows what the wind chill factor might have been? Folks, I have played hundreds, maybe thousands of hours of outdoor hockey. I doubt there were many of those boys, if any, who've played more. I haven't played much indoors though. But I have played enough to tell you everything you need to know about playing outdoors, compared to indoors. It's apples and bowling balls. Even if the icemakers try their best, they're not going to be able to duplicate the conditions of a nice indoor ice surface outside. When I was young and indoor ice surfaces were getting more popular, we actually called it "artificial" ice surface. What that meant was the ice freezes from the bottom. The floor is refrigerated, not the air. It makes for a much nicer ice surface that doesn't break off in hunks making holes and ruts that cause bad bounces and players to fall. If you watched closely, (although, who am I kidding, how could you?), you saw several bad bounces and players falling, some in the identical spots.

What this does is it makes people slow down. You don't want to hit a rut at full speed and fly into the boards head first, especially before you are even into the elimination round of the tournament. What was the one word that was used to sum up this year's Canadian Jr. team? SPEED. So there went that! Team Canada's fastest skaters were not only cautiously avoiding ruts and  holes in the ice surface, they were skating through the same slush as everyone else.

When I say slush, I'm not just talking about the snow, I am speaking literally. When snow gathers on outdoor ice, it melts into slush and slows the ice a gums it up so not just the skating but anything you want to do with the puck will be at significantly slower speeds.

This brings up the real reason this publicity stunt didn't really work. The weather. It was almost as if God decided from on high that the Americans were not going to repeat the collective heart shattering of Canadian hockey fans by beating them AGAIN in the most hockeyless of manners: the shootout. But listen to God, the tournament organizers did NOT! Dollar signs cha- chinging in their eyes, they let the snow pile up and the game become more and more simple and boring.

I saw a few times, especially behind the net when players converged on the puck and blew snow as they stopped completely obscuring sticks, skates and pucks. I saw players shoot or pass and lift good amounts of snow behind the puck. There is a penalty for skating in on the goalie, stopping fast and giving him a snow shower. This was unavoidable, so not called as the goalies got a good blast of snow, ice and frozen spit every time there was a close play around the net. Along the edge of the boards the snow built up and a few passes or dumps around the boards were significantly slowed by it or actually bounced off the boards and out into the regular ice surface. Every bit of passing and stick-handling was slogged down by the snow as though they were playing in slush. This SEVERELY limits good passing plays and skilled stick handling. It makes the passes short, limits creativity and slugs down the pace like a burning truck on the 401.

Tell me who you thought the player of the game for Canada was. Did you notice ANY player? They named the goalie player of the game. Maybe feeling sorry for all the snow blown in his face. Skill is a rarity in conditions like this. It gets to the point that you play your usual game and just HOPE the snow doesn't mess up what you are tying to do. Essentially the game comes down to the team that snow affects the least. Now you can argue that both teams are playing in the same elements and the better team will create more chances and the snow will mess up less of them for the better team. Yes, I agree, if the teams are not evenly matched. But evenly matched teams in the snow are just depending on luck to get their skill plays completed. And, like the shootout, I hate this because luck is not what the game should be decided upon. Skill is what should be the difference and in this game, it wasn't. But, hey, at least they made a ton of money and the fans had fun and it brought some attention to hockey in America. There we go with that "At least" thinking again. At best, this game could, and should, have been played indoors.

I'll tell you another thing, and I noticed this in pre-tournament play, the thing Canada has going for it more than any team in this tournament, and the thing that will probably win it for them if they do win it, is depth. There is STILL nobody who can say which of the lines are number one two or three. There may be an agreed upon fourth line, but they are still getting as much ice time as the other three. How many teams have 13 different goal scorers? This I LIKE!!! Even though I would like to see Thomas and Raddysh as the tournament scoring leaders, and think they could be if their line was favoured like EVERY other team favours their top lines, the one big advantage the Canadians have when they roll all four lines consistently every single game, is by the end of the game, their players are not tired or injured. And, by the end of the tournament, their players are not tired or injured. And with a speedy team, you don't want them tired. With ANY team you don't want injuries. It's the right strategy and you won't hear me say this ever, but it's the genius, or, ahem, if you will, the "charme" of the coaching staff this year in my opinion.

Regularly stop the play for snow removal, or for some ridiculous end change, and you completely negate this advantage. Nobody gets tired on either side this way. And with the poor ice and visibility, the player safety is also compromised. I finished watching the game a little bit irked that the Americans had won in a shootout again, (well, okay a LOT irked), ((We're talking major irkage)), but I was relieved that there didn't appear to be any major injuries. I don't think.

I heard the announcers saying that they interviewed the players and they were all saying it was hard to call the game because it was hard to see. The players usually retorted with something like, "You're telling me! I was playing it and I couldn't see!" The spectators couldn't see either, but they all had a few nips to combat the cold so they didn't mind too much. The people watching on TV were treated to some of the worst footage of a big hockey game since Foster Hewitt was announcing. And I could hear his voice saying, "Hello Canada and hockey fans in the United States, you can't see it, but I assure you, there's a whale of a game going on here!"

With all due respect to the resurrected Foster Hewitt, it wasn't a whale of a game. It wasn't even a guppy of a game. It sucked. And to all those people who are trying to build up the hockey viewership in the States, stop it! Just because it was close, doesn't make it a good game. If you had the Globetrotters and the Washington Generals playing in that weather, THAT would have been a close game too. The Generals could even win. You folla?

The worst thing about that game was half way through, because they're young kids, and because of the tremendous expectations thrust upon them, it seemed like every member of the Canadian team started questioning their games and their abilities. It was just the weather. They were not the problem. Even part of the game today against the Danish team, they were slower and more careful and making the sure passes, not taking chances, like they were playing in the snow. I think by the end of the 8-0, (really 9-0), win, the players had their confidence back. Let's hope they keep it for the rest of the tournament. And the organizers don't arrange a scrub game against the 1980 American Olympic Miracle On Ice team. You know, just to promote hockey in the U.S.

As I said, I, and most avid hockey players of my generation, have way more experience than today's hockey players with the outdoor game, and in weather like that, even though nobody loves to get together with friends and play some puck any more than I do, I probably would have gone home and had some hot chocolate.

THIS AIN'T OVER!!!

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

It's time for the world Jr.'s again! I don't really get too excited about Christmas these days but I tell you, I LOVE the world Jr.'s!  I've already got the schedule figured out. I'll be up at 5 A.M. this morning cheering for Canada. They play the Finns first game and they have a few first round draft pick big marquis names on their blue line for the Finns, but I don't think Canada will do too badly. Canada, U.S., the silver/gold winners from last year are both in the same group with the Finns so it's an important first game. After watching Canada's two pre-tournament games, I have learned a bit about the team and I think they can win. I think they can actually beat the Finns badly.

The Canadian team is fast. They don't have any big name, high draft choice players for the first time in a long time. I often wonder if they would play better without the future superstars. We'll find out this year. They have a small, mobile defense, large, hard-hitting and goal scoring forwards and the best goalie in the tournament. It's been a long time since we could say that! Carter Hart has only been scored on 22 times in 17 games this year. He is dominating Jr. hockey with a .961 save percentage and 5 shutouts, 4 games one goal against. He got a lucky goal scored on him in the pre-tournament game vs. the Swiss, but I don't expect to see much rubber getting behind him in this tournament. He may be expected to steal a game or two against the Swedes or Americans, (who have 10 first round forwards), or Russians, but he can do it.

The forwards are hard to figure as far as which line will be ranked where, and I like that. The apparent first line is either Dube, Kyroo and Steel or Raddysh, Katchouk and Thomas. I think I like the latter so we'll start with them.

LINE ONE

#16 Taylor Raddysh is a guy who you will remember from last year's squad. In fact, he scored 4 goals in one game last year vs. Latvia, even though he was one of the guys who wasn't a shoe-in to make the team. He's still with the Eerie Otters this year and has played 30 games with 15 goals and 29 assists for 44 points. Point and a half a game, goal every two. Not bad at all! He's 6'2, 209 so he's big, he's playing for the second time in the tournament so he's not going to be intimidated. He could be up there in the scoring race. He will probably score at a better pace than that with his linemates who he has shown great chemistry with, especially Robert Thomas. 2 goals and 4 points vs. Czech Repub.

#27 Robert Thomas scored a gorgeous, tic-tac-toe goal from Raddysh in the pre-tourney game vs. the Czechs. He's got 20 goals in 27 games for the London Knights this year along with 26 assists. Again, his pace will probably improve with stellar linemates. 4 points vs. Czech Repub.

#12 Boris Katchouk has 27 goals in 30 games with Sault Ste. Marie this year. That's almost a goal a game and with the two guys above, might get a goal in every game this tourney.

LINE TWO

#9 Dylan Dube is another returning player. He waited until the pre-tourney game against Switzerland and he got 8 points along with his linemates in the game. This article calls them the top line for Canada, but I don't think they will be. Still, he's going great for the Kelowna Rockets with 27 18 21 39. I hope he can stay healthy.

#25 Jordan Kyroo is a VERY fast skater! A couple times we saw him outskate everyone on the ice in pre-tourney action. He is lighting it up for the Sarnia Sting with almost 2 points a game. It'll be fun to watch him with Dube and Steel.

#23 Sam Steel has 27 14 21 35 for the Regina Pats this season. I've seen nothing flashy from him yet but nothing detrimental.

LINE THREE

#11 Jonah Gadjovich is a Vancouver Canuck prospect who is nicknamed the "Manchild." He's 6'2 201 and he's thrown some nice hits. He's looked great with Steenbergen and McLeod! Scored a goal against the Czechs.

#17 Tyler Steenbergen has 35 goals in 27 games with Swift Current this year. I can't wait to see what he'll do in the tournament! I think he could be the top goal scorer for Canada with lots of time on the power play. He'll get lots of even strength points too.

#20 Michael McLeod has looked great in pre-tournament games! He's a bit of a mystery man having only 11 games with the Mississauga Steelheads with 8 goals and 5 assists, but I think he will be a great fit on this third line that will make them look like the first line.

LINE FOUR

#14 Maxime Comtois is a point-a-game guy for the Victoriaville Tigres. He's 6'2 212 so that's a nice thing to have going for you! Howden, Formenton and him scored a beautiful 4 or 5 pass goal in the game vs. the Czechs. If they can keep up that chemistry, they'll be dangerous.

#24 Alex Formenton is also a point-a-game guy but for the London Knights. He actually played a game for Ottawa this year so he's good.

#21 Brett Howden has thrown some nice hits and along with Comtois makes this a bruising line. But he's got 31 points in 20 games this year for Moosejaw so he can score.

EXTRAS

#19 Drake Batherson has 24 17 22 39 for Cape Breton this year, but can't seem to fit on any line for this team. He got a goal against the Czechs and a nice deflection goal against the Swiss. It'll be hard to keep him out of the lineup.

Dante Fabbro is in an ankle boot right now so he's a big question mark. He's a CIJHL player of the year and a very offensive defenceman. If he can't make it, Josh Mahura, a point-a-game defenseman, will take his place. He looked good in pre-tournament action.

DEFENCE

#28 Victor Mete is a small but good puck-moving defenceman. He has had a cup of coffee with the Montreal Canadiens.

#10 Kale Clague is returning for his second World Jr.'s and looking great! He is scoring a LOT in pre-tournament action and in Brandon this year he has 47 points in only 28 games! He is gonna light it up!

#2 Jake Bean almost made the Carolina Hurricanes this year. Lucky for the Jr. team he didn't because he and Clague are going to outscore a lot of forwards! 27 points in 25 games with the Calgary Hitmen this year so far.

#6 Cal Foote is the son of Adam and on a team when all the D are 170 or 180 lbs., he's the big man at 6'4 212. He's got 30 pts. in 30 games with the Kelowna Rockets but I think he'll be used in more of a stay-at-home roll on this team.

#7 Cale Makar is likely to be another shut-down defenceman.

#3 Conor Timmins has 34 points in 28 games for the Sault Ste. Marie Greyhounds. He is also slightly injured and may leave a spot open on the team for Josh Mahura.

I will be up at 5 AM this morning wearing my Team Canada jersey and watching the game. I expect Canada to win convincingly even though the Finns are highly regarded. We shall see what happens.

Only 13 more hours to go!

The Dream of the Red Chamber

I've been in the Red Chamber here for quite some time and while I may slag the U.S. and the "American Dream" for being just as phantasmagorical as its title sounds, the "Dream of the Red Chamber," if that can be thought of as the parallel for China, is no less evanescent.

It may be coincidence, or it may not, that the colour red is so prized in this country and the phrase "red tape" cannot possibly have a better champion. Why is the tape red that makes us jump through unnecessary hoops? Why is red the colour of success, wealth and envelopes containing money here in China? Why is their flag red? Are money and blindingly tedious bureaucracy the only ways to make money here? Well, this is too darn good an introduction to abandon now, so let's examine this, shall we?

I didn't need to get a criminal record check to get my present work visa. But those are the rules of Shanxi province I guess. I will be working soon in Shenyang in Liaoning province and the rules differ... so I'm told. So I've been trying my best to get all my ducks in a row now that I've been officially offered the job on Liaoning University campus in Shenyang. And the two biggies, (if you measure big or small by amount of annoyingly superfluous red tape), will be the criminal record check officially stamped and authenticated, and the officially stamped and authenticated copy of my university degree. These two, all tolled, (is it all told or all tolled?), will cost me about a grand but are about as useless as traffic lanes in Jakarta. My degree has been verified so many times I am going to have to start telling my university where NOT to send official transcripts, or what schools DON'T need another stamped or authorized degree, (even though they already have one). And as for my criminal record check, I have one from two years ago. I haven't been to Canada for 4 years, making it physically impossible for me to have been convicted of a crime there, so anyone asking for a CRC is doing so for one or two purposes: 1. money and 2. just to see how high I can jump when they say jump.

But, I have an opportunity here to work the best job I've had in the ESL industry, one of the best paying jobs I've ever had, and probably the best overall job I will ever have, so HERE'S how high I can jump, China! Hold the hoop higher, I think I got another inch or two in me!

I had to get a friend to fill out forms stating that she had witnessed me signing power of attorney over to the company that will take care of my paperwork in Ottawa. I also had to get her to sign a form that says she witnessed me sign over power of attorney to two specific people in that company. I then had to fill out a form applying for the Chinese embassy or consulate in Ottawa to please authenticate, (i.e. glance at while eating lunch), my stamped degree and criminal record check and for that receive whatever corrupt officials from the two countries of Canada and China have agreed upon as a totally unreasonable fee, but one the market will bear, for such transcendently counterproductive paperwork.

You realize that what this all amounts to is an antiquated law the spirit of which posits that I, or anyone else strapped with this burdensome duty, am not honest enough on my own to be an acceptable candidate to work in the Great Red Chamber of Moral Rectitude known as China, but that I need members of the unimpeachably ethical governments of both Canada and China to verify, (for money, which basically shoots that claim in the foot), my educational and law-abiding veracity. FUMPEE! If you're not caught up on this blog, it's a Chinese word that means "fart" or "bullshit." They know my degree is real and they know my criminal record is clean, they just want money every year and I need the job just bad enough to pay my money for nothing. So are thousands of others. This is just one of a whole agenda of things our governments do after we elect them that we know nothing about.

Now, having acquiesced to this documental waterboarding, I first had to get fingerprinted. In China it's customary to go to the local police station, that is the one closest to your home. Well, having worked for the worst company in China, Huasheng, I was forced to move. So do I go to the police station closest to my NEW apartment or my old apartment? I first tried the closest to my new apartment. Predictably I was sent to the police station closest to my OLD apartment. I went there and they had no idea what I needed prints for. They even called up the visa bureau of Taiyuan and THEY had no idea why anyone might ask for fingerprinting. Keep in mind that the criminal record check is a new inconvenience to foreigners that has recently been tacked onto our duties in China. So it has been mandated and legislated, but the police offices nationwide have evidently NOT been brought up to speed on this new hoop for wayguos to jump through. So, again, absent any purchased vouchsafety from a higher rank of deceit, I was not to be trusted. I was sent home.

While walking away from the police station, I thought of a work-around. I knew that my criminal record in Canada was clean, and that was all I needed to work in China, so I could have picked up a brick and thrown it through the window of the police station then surrendered myself. THEN I'd have been printed and THEN I'd have my prints. For FREE! My buddy Ty suggested I go out and "lightly stab" someone. LOL. That reminds me of "Arrested Development" when the father admits to "a little bit of light treason."

To make matters more unreasonable, I have fingerprints that were done two years ago and were used for a criminal record check at that time. Successfully. My fingerprints have not changed since then. NObody's fingerprints change aside from growing as our fingers grow. Why can't they use them? Why hadn't the police offices across China been informed that fingerprints will be needed for CRC's? Well I found out. I had to go to one of the few places in the country, (in Beijing), where they DO this simple process, and pay 800 RMB for it. Not to mention a trip from Taiyuan to Beijing and an overnight stay. And, as anyone who has ever tried to do ANYthing like this in China can attest, THAT is not nearly as simple as it sounds. Nor, in Beijing, is it as cheap.

So Thursday I got up and showered. Nope, I didn't cuz my hot water wasn't working. Something breaks, goes down, gets shut off or doesn't work every week. Usually more than one thing in this old apartment I'm camping in. That's what it feels like sometimes. I've been more comfortable at some campsites in my lifetime. I have to teach the chuckleheads. That's what I call my culture class. I'm supposed to teach them about cultures in major English speaking countries and the majority of them don't have a high enough level of English to be in a classroom with an English speaking teacher. I mean a teacher who can't speak Chinese. Their OTHER teacher, Margie, speaks both and I'm sure every other course that is supposed to be taught in English, is taught in Chinese. Par for the course.

So I teach my class then go home. It's the 21st. I was supposed to be paid by Rach, the girl who moved into my old apartment, on the 20th but she was going to pay by WeChat and got paid in cash. So I told her not to worry. Back in August, she was in a bad place financially, and I was moving out, so I told her she could stay at my abandoned apartment and pay me rent when she gets it. The money on the 21st was not actually rent, but 2500 damage deposit, which she will get back anyway. But it was to be her first payment since August when she moved in and I moved out. So I was excited. Money coming IN instead of going out. I got the money and decided that's what I would use for my trip. So I transferred it into my Beijing bank account, which is the one linked to my WeChat, and it worked! So my train was for 1:25, and I left my apt. at 12:30. I'd go to the bank, get some of that money out, then taxi to the train station. One hour should be plenty of time. But, when I go to the bank machine, I couldn't take any money out. I checked my WeChat balance and the money was back! It was gone and the transfer was successful, then it came back. Like my bank wouldn't accept it because it was counterfeit or something. Everybody I say this to can't believe it, but this is the kind of problem I have been a pioneer in over here in China. I'm breaking new ground and discovering new holes everywhere I go!

So I had to go back home and get some cash. This set me back but I still had enough time to make my train. Unfortunately, I got into a taxi in which the driver didn't understand Chinese. I looked on my Chinese translator for the word for train station and got it. Showed it to him, said it to him and played the recorded PERFECT pronunciation for him, but he didn't know. A taxi driver who mysteriously doesn't know where the train station is. Hmmmm....

I got out and had to wait a while but eventually go into another cab that didn't have a racist driver. I did the same thing, showed him the word in writing, said the word, even showed him my ticket so there could be no doubt where I wanted to go. This guy understood immediately. So off we went.

To the wrong train station! Well we  had 20 minutes to get to the right one, which was 20 minutes away. I called good old Faith. She had been previously frustrated by my, what, MEness, when she tried to help me purchase this train ticket. I had the right program, downloaded on my Chinese poop-phone, from a Chinese site, and try as she might, even SHE couldn't purchase my train ticket to BJ because for some reason, (again, because I'm me), I got a version of the app for travel tickets in China called "C-Trip" that just for no reason known to mankind chose to do my transactions in U.S. dollars. So Faith bought my ticket on her phone using her money and I just paid her cash for it. I called Faith and said I wasn't going to be able to use the ticket so she called and arranged to have my ticket changed. Luckily it was possible to change to any other train with space available that day. So she did that for me.

Of course I got to the station late for my original train. I eventually found my way to the area where you can buy tickets, which is not an easy feat, especially at the Beijing West train station. All the signs are in Chinese and if they have English it is sometimes misleading. For example, the first lineup I stood in was for ticket exchange. That was the only small print English I could see for that window. I waited for the 20 or 30 people in front of me only to be sent to the lineup at window 2. So I waited 20 or 30 people and got to the window. Faith had typed some Chinese into a WeChat message for me to show to the person at the window that said I wanted to exchange my ticket. I show them my passport, they find my ticket, they exchange it for a later train. Easy peasy Japanesey, no? NO! Always remember two things: 1. this is ME here, and 2. I'm in China.

The guy looks at my passport and the message from Faith and seems to  understand. I show him my phone ticket, now expired by about 20 minutes. He does some computer inputting and some other stuff... three times, and can't seem to do what he wants. He then calls over a girl. She has been working there longer. It's obvious. Because as she does the same stuff he did... three times herself, and can't seem to get what she wants, she chuckles and shows me a bank card and asks for mine. I offer to pay by my newly loaded WeChat but they don't accept WeChat. My ICBC bank account doesn't have enough in it, but I gave her my other bank account card that I get paid from the new school, TUST, on. I don't know if you've ever given anyone you bank card before, but it's not an easy feeling. I didn't know what she wanted it for; if she could take an imprint or swipe of it and use it for another purchase; or even how much she wanted to take out of my account. The good thing was I didn't have much in my account. She paid for a new ticket with the card. 220 RMB. The original ticket was 197. So I was waiting for my 23 RMB change. I even said it in Chinese. I am good at number in Chinese. But there was something weird going on. Go figure.

It turned out that they had to cancel the original ticket and buy a new one and because Faith was the one who paid for the ticket, she got the refund and I didn't. So I was waiting for them to give me some money and they couldn't explain why I wasn't getting any money. All they could do was send me to another line. And it was high time because this had taken ages and infuriated about 30 people in the lineup behind me. You know at least SOME of them were cursing my foreignness as I was.

Luckily, Faith to the rescue AGAIN! She got a phone message saying the ticket was cancelled and sent a WeChat message to me. AAAANNNNNGGGHHHHTTTT! No she didn't. Because, as lamented before, I have a special kind of data that doesn't always work when there is no internet available. I know people GET data for times when there is no internet available, but it's a special ME kind of data. It's not usually a problem though. I can use my 4G or sometimes in remote places or tunnels it downgrades to 3G, all over the place. In Taiyuan, in Beijing, all over. But there are three places where internet is SO bad I can't even use my data. The airports of Taiyuan, Beijing and Seoul, my apartment, and, you guessed it, the Taiyuan train station. Now WHY on EARTH would anyone want to use internet in THOSE places?

No, Faith had to call me. So while I was waiting in my third lineup, I got her call and she explained that she had received the refund for my ticket, which didn't, however, explain why I  had been sent to another lineup. I mean what would the poor shmuck at the end of THAT lineup have done? Send me to lineup number 4 no doubt.

So I used the ticket I had purchased with my bank card to get into the Taiyuan train station. I was an hour early for my train so I decided to get some grub and wait. I actually had a really nice KFC stirfry with rice and chicken and veggies. Then I got on the train and unbeknownst to me, the ticket they had chosen for me was 1st class. I LIKED first class! I think from now on I will travel only first class on Chinese trains if I can help it. Instead of three seats on both sides of the train, they have two. That's pretty much all there is to first class but me likey!!!

So I get to BJ and I make my way to the hostel where I lived for half a year in Jishuitan. Ruan, who had worked there when I lived there, and who was the very last remaining person, had promised to meet me at the bar when I got in. I like Ruan and I actually think she's cute. She has these adorable dimples... And she had helped me, like Faith, knowing how helpless a non Chinese speaking person is over here. But because of the taxi fumpee, I didn't get in to the hostel until 9:30 and because of the usual apartment fumpee combined with about 5 hours of taxi/train/lineups, I was stanky! Luckily, when I got there, Ruan was not around. So I checked in and had a GORGEOUS hot shower. I got to the bar around 10 and texted Ruan. On my second beer she ran over to me and gave me a big hug at the bar. I proceeded to bore shit out of her with my trials and tribulations. Geez! I'm NEVER gonna get a girl!

This is the selfie she took with my camera. (the poop cam). Cute eh? She actually showed me how to take a selfie on my phone. I never knew! I've been just aiming the phone blindly and blindly hitting the spot on the screen that has the shutter icon... what a Luddite I am!

Ruan is thin as a rail and doesn't like to drink more than one or two so our night ended soon after it began, but we agreed to meet the next night too. I had to do the fingerprinting the next day anyway.

So I took the address I had received from the agency doing my CRC in Canada called Reliable Screening Solutions Inc., and showed it to a cab driver. I'd called the office and had been told that their hours were 9-11 in the AM and 1:30 to 3:30 in the afternoon. I got to the right area at just before 10 AM. The taxi driver looked at the address and could make neither head nor tails of it. We were on Longgang Road and the address said number 1 Longgang Road so I just got outta the taxi and walked along Longgang Road till I saw a number 1 on a building. This would seem like the thing to do, no? Two things: me, China.

Longgang Road #1 was a pink building but I could tell just by looking at it that it was just a residential building. Midrange apartments. It was at an intersection with a HUGE and very in your face YELLOW 7 Days Inn so I thought I'd call back the guy I'd talked to  before on the phone and he could give me some insight. This yellow monstrosity was a perfect landmark. I called. I didn't get the same guy. A guy who didn't speak English answered the phone. FUCK! I was struggling to communicate, and so was he and I just got a long silence. I was yelling hello into my phone and about ready to hang up when suddenly the same guy came on the line. WHEW! Well, whew if it's not me and it's not China...

The English speaking dude says to me, "Can I help you?" And I go into explaining that I'd called him the day before and I was now in town to get my fingerprinting done. He had PROMISED me that if I showed up during working hours I'd be able to get it done. So he says, "Okay just come to Beijing and we'll ---" I said, "I'm in BJ and I'm in your neighbourhood. I think I'm close." So he says, "Where are you?" I said I'm at the corner where there's a big yellow 7 Days Inn." He says, "No, you're not close." You gotta be KIDDING ME!!!

So there I was with my envelope of documents, my paper with this address on it, a beverage because I am constantly dehydrated in China, a pen to write down directions and my phone, five things in two hands. I got really frustrated and while he sas talking, put the phone in one side of my kangaroo pocket of my jacket, threw my beverage and pen down on the sidewalk, crumpled up the paper with the address and put it into the OTHER side of my kangaroo pocket and then retrieved the phone. WHAT??? He says, "...pink building." I say, "Oh yeah, shit yeah! I am right in front of a pink building now with a number one on it!" He says, "No you're not very close. You are near an intersection? Is that near a bank of blah blah cash machine?" Well, there were cash machines but all with only Chinese on them. I told him about the massive yellow 7 Days Inn but it didn't register. So I assumed I really was nowhere near the right place because this was a landmark you just can't miss. He says, "Okay walk South from the pink building." I tell him A) I don't generally carry a compass and B) I don't know how to work one. I just said, I don't know from South or whatever. It was morning so the sun was in the East, but I wasn't about to take any chances. So he says, "Are there any subways there?" And there were! Just past the HUUUUUUUGGGGEEEE and blatantly yellow 7 Days Inn. "Okay, just go to those subway exits. You want exit C." I walk there and say, "Okay I'm at exit C. " He says, "Now walk South from there."

If I had taken that direction I would have gone the wrong way. I don't think the guy knew which way South was. So then he says something about a pink building and I said, "YEAH! I'm right in front of the pink building!" He says AGAIN to walk South. I could tell I was dealing with a guy who should be in my knucklehead class. I DIDN'T walk south, I walked directly into the sun and he said, "Just walk for a while and call me back." I said, "No, I'll walk and tell you what I see." So I was describing two HUGE fucking statues of Lions with balls in their mouths - nope, didn't ring a bell. I described a massive staircase that covered half a block up to an old temple. Nope didn't ring a bell. Then on a hunch I though I knew the kind of guy I was dealing with so I said, "Okay now I'm walking past a Bank of China, an ICBC, and another bank all in a row. "Oh," says he, "You are heading in the right direction." I thought so, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't South.

Then he says, "Just walk a little while longer till you come to a pink building." What? ANOTHER pink building? What is with China and pink buildings? So here is where I ended up.

It's hard to tell but, yeah, it WAS a pink building. But that's clearly a 2, not a 1. Why? Two reasons: me and China.

But, as you can see, there's no English. I walked inside this building past a security guard who reluctantly allowed me in, only to find a shoe store. Shoes and hiking gear. I turned around to leave but a stranger in the shop pointed me to this completely unmarked door. How he knew what I might be looking for was anyone's guess.

I went in there and a series of people with police and/or medical outfits on shushed me in several directions until I got to a locked door.

 From down the hall I heard some English. It was the dude from the phone call. I swear to God it is like they don't even WANT their 800 RMB for 2 minute's work! That's about 155 bucks. Yeah! For fingerprinting! I had had it done in Korea a few times always for free.

He took me to another place where we did our thing. Now, as always, it wasn't quite as simple as all of that. I had been urged from Canada to get the printing done on a Chinese form. At THIS place in China, they said I needed a Canadian RCMP form. I asked if they had one and they, of course, said they didn't. Well, having expected the usual ineptitude at any such agency, I had taken the precaution of downloading the proper RCMP form and bringing it with me. But to get a little more for my money I said, "Since I'm paying 800, can we get the prints on BOTH the Canadian and the Chinese forms?" They agreed!

So I finally had my prints. It took a while to walk to a good spot to catch a taxi back to the hostel, and the 20-minute ride there turned into a 60-minute ride back because there were not one, but TWO accidents on the way. But I got back to the hostel. NOW, I had to find a fast mail service in China so that I could send all of the papers to Canada as fast as possible. Given that it is Christmas time, it's not going to be fast, and the extra money will eventually end up getting me the service that at any other time would have cost a tiny fraction of what I paid, but, gotta jump through those hoops. Ruan and I eventually ended up finding DHL, (which Faith had earlier suggested), and they have a 3-day delivery guarantee. So she called them up and got them to come to the hostel. It cost me 345 RMB. That's 67 Canadian bucks to send it, and I KNOW their guarantee is fumpee at Christmas time in Canada, but I finally got all the dox sent. The most important ones anyway.

So now I just have to get a physical and a few letters of recommendation from former employers who would sooner have me keelhauled than give me letters of recommendation. To be honest, all the bullshit documents the Chinese government is making me provide that I KNOW they don't need, I will feel absolutely no remorse when I write an absolutely GLOWING letter of recommendation from a former employer and then forge their signature on it! It's all fumpee, baby!

But, good news is good news. Aside from all the requisite problems that go along with anything logistical in China, I got that all taken care of in a timely manner. Now I hope to either do a camp in Singapore for the month of January, or pick up odd shifts here and there in Taiyuan. The college will not charge me to stay here, (I don't think), since I'm not expecting any holiday pay from them in Jan. or Feb. And there is NO shortage of places looking for a good foreign teacher here in Taiyuan. I'll remember to avoid any offers from Huasheng. Lol.

As for them, I have relinquished my claim to my final paycheck of about 1800 bucks, all the money they owe me, which is well over 10,000 bucks because I admittedly worked for them without a proper work visa at first. The OTHER workers who worked for these scumbags while I did are not being so nice. THEY are suing Huasheng for unpaid wages and I sincerely hope that someday I will hail a cab in Taiyuan and it will be Mr. Liu(ser) driving it. He's the guy who basically cost me half a year of my life with his cheating and lying.

Anyway, speaking of cheating and lying, I am going to go in a completely other direction here and talk about my most troublesome class. The chuckleheads, the knuckleheads the low watt bulbs that I have for my Major English Speaking Countries Culture class. I have remarked before about the abject hunger for intelligence I see in this class on a daily basis. It goes far beyond a language barrier and at this point in my career I take offense when someone suggests I don't know the difference.

It is a class of 31 girls and 1 guy. I'm not saying that girls are stupid, don't get your feminist hackles up, ladies. In China, from what I understand, and from every one of my classes so far, the girls make up the majority of English classes. This class is no different from many an English class in China. In ratio of women to men, that is. Where they differ is their uncanny lack of intelligence. I have literally stared at people agog at their vacuous vapidity in this class more than any other. In fact it's a class by class occurrence. It has become an exercise in futility for me to even attempt to correct this in a large part of the class. I still put in my best efforts for the good ones, but for most, I just marvel at their mental deficiencies and have to laugh. That's all I can do, damn my Hippocratic teacher's oath!

But I KNEW, I absolutely KNEW on final exam day, there'd be some cheating. The intellectual stunting in most of these gals comes from pure laziness, I believe. Lazy people cheat. I am not a rookie teacher. So I scheduled the final exam for not the last class, but the next to last class in full awareness that it would more than likely cause me the extra work of writing a completely new exam for those who cheated. I was fine with that, me with my Don Quixote-like need to assail the windmills of corruption anywhere, not just the hot spots of Asia. And my healthy skepticism was correct. A bunch of them cheated.

So now they are all apologetic. "I just wanted to pass, I really studied hard, but I wasn't sure about some things. I'm SO SORRY!" I actually received this text from one of the cheaters. I absolutely hate bad enough to kill, the idea of, "I can do whatever I want now and apologize later." This is like a religion in Asia and as I said, I'd be willing to kill if I saw a cult dedicated to it.

Sorry, my blog followers but I had about ten more paragraphs written and they were super intellectual and challenging to erudite individuals who would take on their challenge, but, as has happened many times here, because, A) Me and B) China, I lost them all because my internet was out and blogspot wasn't saving them as I was typing. I have no guarantee that THIS will be saved as I type. Them's the chances you take when you live in China.

To sum up, I found three girls with cheat notes written on full sized paper and they had them under their test papers. They were whispering the answers back and forth. I'm positive there were more nearby taking advantage of the situation, like about 10 of the 32 students, but I could only definitively nail the three. I don't know names well enough so I took a pen and put a checkmark on all three of their papers. Before the test was finished, EVERY ONE OF THEM had erased the checkmarks. They were trying to cheat AGAIN! It was in pen so the marks were not erased, and they didn't use the white-out strips they all seem to have, they scratched the top layer of paper away so that it looked like the checkmarks were never there. ALL THREE of them did this!

SO I am nowhere near finished on this point of my students cheating and what their punishment will be and how I hope to infiltrate the Chinese system and if  nothing else make these gals good, moral MOTHERS, cuz they're not going anywhere educationally, but I have already shot my finest arrows on the subject and they were all erased by the fucking useless Chinese internet.

Really more than anything in this post it goes to show what I'm talking about here. Even complaining about how everything is harder than it should be here, is harder than it should be here. But I think some of the students in my knucklehead class are not useless twits who will end up as bad mothers. I actually got some gifts from some. Apples for the teacher in little Merry Christmas boxes. And I don't think these three girls are bad people, just bad cheaters. I'm sure there were others cheating too. They just didn't get caught. I wonder if this trio ended up in this fake school because they tried to cheat on their university entrance exam, (Gaokao), and were caught. If you look at the link below, it's so common that it is now punishable by 7 years in prison to do so. And some still try. So I doubt I'll have much of an effect.

In the link below you will also find the attempted explanation of why the Chinese NEED to cheat so much and I've blogged about this before and encountered it many times before. It's total fumpee. In fact the reasons they give for cheating, driving, walking, riding bikes, lining up and pretty much doing everything like selfish assholes, are the very reasons I think they SHOULDN'T behave in these ways. But, it's easier. And despite all the Chinese who are fond of pointing out the industriousness and work ethic of their people, the corruption in their culture is a sign of laziness if you ask me.

Nonetheless, I have given the non-cheaters the next class off. That's a two-hour class. The cheaters will all have to show up and write a NEW exam. A HARDER exam. One with no multiple choice. It will include a paragraph on why cheating is wrong. And I KNOW it's counterproductive in their lives so I won't be too hard on them. They have futures without exception full of lying and cheating. I am just the distant light in the wilderness beckoning the one in a million who doesn't lazily abandon all morality and go with THAT flow.

How do you like THEM apples?

Nice. And I particularly liked, no LOVED, the fact that they were on my desk when I got there. Nobody chose to give them to me in person so I could associate the gift with a face. This was genuine, anonymous GIVING, not giving for self. DAMMIT! This makes marking these exams SO much harder! What if one of these apple gifters was also a cheater? Oh my GOD, China!

And I received confirmation from some other students in the class that BUSTING the cheaters in class today was the right thing to do. So I have faith that at least SOME of that class wrote their tests honestly. I have only to mark them to decide...

Why am I scared? Probably because this is my Culture class and cheating is part of the Chinese culture. You really can't argue against that.

And just as I was writing this, guess who came out of the shadows. It was Huasheng. They first wished me Merry Christmas. Oh, how nice! Thought I. What is their angle? Thought I. Did they think I would think otherwise? I was introduced to the MANAGER of Huashit, one Niu Pengfei, who, with all the thought of a rock, had sent me a friend request in Chinese that I couldn't read or understand without any explanation. It was, (fucking of course), ignored. THEN, I got the introduction from a girl who I had accepted as a WeChat friend saying he wants to be my friend. I said to her, and I quote, "When will you guys give this shit up? I will do nothing until I get paid. Stop acting like my friend. No money - no cooperation. Got it?"

My pay is now 40 days late. And they are wishing me Merry Christmas and introducing me to people who want to be my friends. Well that's just nice and cozy and all but how about instead of dreaming of a life when you get what you don't earn by screwing people, how bout you just be honest and work hard? Pay me the money you owe me, you scumbags! I hope they finally get the picture.

I actually told this story to two people who were among the cheated employees of Huashyte and they said they hate Niu Pengfei. The hilarious thing is they want to talk to me via a phone call and they don't know my number. Well, one or ALL of the 10 girls they cheated out of a month's work there helping the foreign teacher knew my phone number. But none of them are going to give Huasheng my phone number now because they are suing them for not paying them. Some of those girls also had my resume with all my contact information on it. But they're not giving that to Huasheng now.

I received a call from my fellow teacher here at TUST, George, today. He had received a call from these morons. You see, I simply blocked the girl I had accepted as a WeChat friend because I just knew they would try to ruin my Christmas with all their hassle and they had my final word. No money - no talkie. George doesn't know how they got his number, but George knows about the crap Huasheng has done to me and its other workers, so when they asked HIM for my contact information, he gave them nothing.

In the cases of my students and my former employers, cheating has made their lives MORE, not less difficult. It's only because I, and some other former Huasheng employees, are just not taking that crap. And the day people everywhere, en masse, decide not to take this crap, then and only then will cheaters and dishonest people find that their lazy selfishness and corruption is gonna bit them in the ass.

So, in conclusion, they are probably as far away from their dream here in China as they are way over there in America. In fact, due to corruption, both dreams are exactly opposite, making them nightmares. Leastaways, that's what I reckon.

A Blog and a Beer

Another week, another Zach Braff, (from Scrubs), soliloquy albeit without the mumbly laugh or starting with, "As a doctor..." Pretty impressive how I yanked that name outta the past isn't it? I haven't watched Scrubs for years so what made me think of Zach Braff? Bojack Horseman, that's what. Zach Braff is in Mr. Peanut Butter's house at a celebrity fund-raising party for PB's political campaign when the house falls into a sinkhole created by fracking around it. Nobody can get out and things get all Lord of the Flies. Zach Braff plays Zack Braff and starts one of his great summing up monologues trying to calm people down and talk them out of cannibalism... and before he can finish, Jessica Biel lights him on fire and everyone eats him. Ha ha ha ha ha. I love that show!

As a writer, I notice little things in life that everyone notices, and I try to put them on paper in a way that might be unique. 171 and a half thousand words in the English language and everybody seems to communicate mostly in sentences we've all said about that many times in our lives. Good morning; good afternoon; good evening; good night; how are you; I am fine, thank you and you; stop putting things up there if you want them back, you know, all the things we say just about every day. I admit, I stole that joke from Bojack too. It's about the best show in the world right now. A little dark and sweary for some, but I love it. I reckon being a writer for a show like that would be about the best job in the world. But I know there's as much chance of that happening as the Trumponator owning his baldness.

I'd be out of place in that world I think. I have no problem with any drug use, if it only affects the user. I just choose not to do that with the one and only exception of alcohol. Of course I am talking about mind altering drugs that are practically an essential part of the Hollywood, (or Hollywoo), scene. I wouldn't want to put myself into that environment. I think I could handle the temptation, (I could be wrong), but I doubt I'd want to deal with the depressing drug culture in which friends go in and out of rehab, or just become junkies depending on income. And, like in Bojack, eventually die tragically. If the show is written from experience, the writers room probably looks like a pharmacy.

That's not for me. I'm better way over here in Asia where there really ARE no drugs other than alcohol unless you're into huffing adhesives. And booze is the only crutch I need to deal with this nightmarish world. Oh it IS a nightmare, folks. Most of us are well trained to believe it's not, against all evidence to the contrary. It's astounding how that can happen! I think it might be kids. We maintain this obligation to procreate even though every single kid we pump out is nothing more than another person in line, another car in traffic, another shopping cart blocking the supermarket aisle, another person in the hospital waiting room, another consumer of resources. They're exactly what the world doesn't need. But maybe we keep cranking them out at Apocalyptic rates because they keep us from giving up on the world.

And without any cultural or geographic barriers, we all raise them to be what we all should be. Share with others; don't be selfish; be honest; just get along; be kind; be generous; think of others; love good; hate bad. Then, somewhere around adolescence, they watch the Princess Bride for the first time. "Life IS pain, Highness! Anyone who tells you different is selling something." WOAH! Truth bomb! Then they work their hardest and don't make the team. Then they don't find a date for the prom. Then they get a job and their boss cheats them. Then a friend screws them over. Slowly but surely, unless they are children of privilege or incredibly lucky, these beautiful, little people begin to realize that saying your prayers and taking your vitamins is as disingenuous advice as the fake hero, (Hulk Hogan), who delivered it.

If you really think about it, how different is "Say your prayers and take your vitamins" from "Make America great again"? Both of these guys are just, (sorry), trumped up characters who are playing parts. But so long as people believe in Hulkamania and politics, these guys have jobs. They could probably swap. Hogan could glue that rug to his head and Trump could sport the dew rag. Would THAT be something! Trump's wrastlin' name could be the Billion Dollar Man, The Landlord, Covfefe, Pee Otis, The Presidon't, oh man, this is too easy! And tell me you wouldn't LOVE to see him on the mud puddle stompin' end of a Stone Cold Steve Austin Stunner! I've said too much. Now you know I watch wrestling a little bit. Why am I less embarrassed about that than admitting to following politics?

And how about the Hulkster in politics? It could work! "You wanna take your shirt off, Putin? OK, let's play team politics, brother! You can be shirts and I'll be skins!" Then he could tear off his shirt.

 "And whatchagonnado when the largest arms in the world, (24 inch python kisses), and the largest military in the world, run wild on you??!!" Ha ha ha, scenes we'd like to see...

Anyhoo, children lose their precious innocence as they find out that living a Disney life won't get you far in this evil world. It will get you taken advantage of. This is the hardest thing in the world for me to observe. It kills me inside. And I only see this happen in OTHER people's kids. I would hate to have to see my kid converted to the dark side.

But I have my workaround. Even though I can't raise a kid and try to shelter him/her as long as possible from reality, I CAN get away from the evils of the world in a few ways. I like spending time with kids and sucking up all the innocence and honesty I can. I also find spiritual succor in nature. It too is honest, clean, pure and although it can be harsh, predators killing prey for survival is Sunday school compared to the avarice that fuels the evil in our world.

But there aren't a lot of kids I can hang out with or soothing, natural retreats in the cities where I've been in China. So, I drink. I find more and more I need a little help to focus on the positive things in life. Or maybe more accurately, to lose focus on the negatives. Alcohol can usually do that. Not always, but I find it is more often than not, worth the hangover if I can have a night of feeling like an innocent child taking pleasure in things without the requisite thoughts of, "What's the angle here?" or "Who's profiting from this?" or "What's the catch?" Drinking tends to knock the edge off my healthy skepticism defence mechanism. I think this happens to a lot of us, which is why we tend to meet more people and even hook up with lovers when we're drunk. Imagine a world in which we could meet people easily, even get laid easily, WHILE SOBER! All we need to do is maintain our innocence, trust, honesty and live like children our whole lives. But there are always going to be selfish assholes who look at an environment like that with dollar signs in their eyes. Or, in my case, RMB signs. Which isn't an S, it's not even an R, it's a Y for Yuen. Or maybe it's a Y for why can't they just choose a name for their money and stick with it? Renminbee, Yuen, Quai? But then again, Pound, Shilling, Guinea, Quid, what the hell's going on there?

If you've been following, you know my latest example of this: Huasheng. They are STILL at it! Payday was 3 weeks ago and I still haven't received anything. They DID lose another girl though. Doris quit, as I told her she would, as all the others in her position have. They work a month or so, find out Huasheng isn't going to pay them, then they quit. So there's a new gal nicknames Candice. She's the 10th person in 10 months in her position. Now it's HER job to try to convince me to "handle the procedures for the resignation." Poor kid!

She sent me a text asking if I wanted to go with her to the "Exit-Entry Administration Bureau." I didn't get the details, but I assume she wants me to sign the fumpee end of contract contract and use it to cancel my residence status, foreign professional certificate or my work visa. This, in all likelihood, would mean I would have a month to leave the country. I still have to work for more than a month here at TUST. Huasheng knows this, but, as I've told the representatives of this school repeatedly, and may FINALLY be getting through to them, Huasheng doesn't give a shit! They will gladly screw TUST too. Just for the perverse pleasure of piling a little bit more inconvenience and suffering onto the massive pile they've already given me. Where in nature, other than man, can you find such evil?

Candice also mentioned that she "heard I will be leaving China in January." That got my healthy skepticism a-whirring! Where could she have heard this? I have a very good idea. And I'm only on my second beer so it's grating on me a bit. I have a theory. The girl in the office here in charge of payroll, Cindy, talks to Huasheng. She lied to them before and cost me money. She told them that classes here are 45 minutes. They're not. They're 50 minutes, but based on this lie, Huasheng got about 6 or 7 more classes a month out of me. Thanks to Cindy. She is also the one who, "FORGOT" to pay me for my hours in August. Well finally, after three months of hounding, and after referencing it in my letter of resignation, "I am still awaiting my pay for August, but other than that, TUST has treated me fairly...", on my December 1st paycheck there was  a little extra. I think I finally got paid for August. Which probably, (hopefully), came out of Cindy's pocket.

Well by NO coincidence, Friday after payday at exactly 5 PM when Cindy leaves the office, my internet was shut off. There is nobody here all weekend so even though I informed the proper people about the problem, it wasn't fixed until it was too late to plan my lessons for the week. I also went the whole weekend without internet, or phone since I have "foreigner's" 4G data and it doesn't work unless there's wifi nearby. For a guy like me in a boring place like Taiyuan, that sucks. I couldn't watch hockey or even check the scores. I couldn't chat with friends. I couldn't blog. And now I'm hearing that SOMEBODY'S been talking about me leaving the country in January. It's funny that someone knows that because I don't even know that. It's possible, but not likely. I certainly don't have any definite plans to do that! But Cindy was at her desk when I had a meeting with David and George and gave my resignation. She probably THOUGHT she heard something that she didn't. Or OVERheard. Eavesdropping maggot!

There's no way of knowing for sure, but this is my theory. At any rate, David has been informed of Huasheng's desire to take me to the Exit-Entry Bureau, (by me), and he says he will call Huasheng and find out just exactly what the hell they are planning to do. And I sincerely hope he asks who told them I was leaving China in January. He'll probably be nice though. I just can't win!

So power outage two weeks ago, and as late as TWO DAYS AGO there are STILL power outages around campus. I taught another class with no lights and no computer. Then the next class, (in asshole teacher's classroom), the board was a mess, the computer was locked to his page, the screen was down, the desk was a mess. I swear by the triple starched collar of Donald S. Cherry that scumbag would catch a beating if we were in Canada! But it's China. I have to let the locals work things out for themselves. I think it's going to take a while.

And last weekend I was off the grid. It's a helpless feeling. You really don't notice how vital to survival the internet is to a guy here in China until it's gone for a few days. What a nightmare! I had to watch downloaded videos instead of live streams. I couldn't facebook. If some huge news story happened, (and it DID), I couldn't hear about it. I heard the GOP passed their tax scam. I guess it's not final yet. Or is it? But I didn't find out about it until way after the fact. I got so bored I actually exercised and studied Chinese! Wo ju dzai bu hao jia. I live in no good home. Heh heh.

As always, it coulda been worse. And I can say that on my fifth beer now. Short of having a kid, which I just can't see happening, it's the best way to mellow out for me. I have to make final exams for most of my classes this weekend and I have to write lessons on Ireland and Christmas for the culture knuckleheads. This will be difficult if I have a third weekend without wifi. But in a few more beers, I'll hardly be worried about that at all. Just in case you're worried, I had nothing to drink at all for the past 4 days. I'm not drinking every day. I still have my sense of responsibility intact. I'm not an alcoholic, although that's just what an alcoholic would type. The old body just can't take drinking like it used to. Man, just SLEEPING makes me sore! And the burn after exercise feels more like injury than beneficial muscle gain. Not to fault God but, if I were to design a body, it would have one difference: beer would be old age medicine.

*** You will never believe what happened like half an hour after posting this! One of the girls who worked for Huasheng messaged me and told me that her and all the previously cheated employees, (pretty much all girls), there are filing a class action lawsuit against the company! This is about the best news I've had since I read my letter of acceptance for university! I feel like my favourite sports team just won a playoff game! It's even BETTER than that! And not because I stand to be paid a LOT of money that I was cheated out of here, (possibly 10 or 15 thousand bucks), I am totally honestly feeling better for the Chinese employees that one after another have been hired by Huasheng and stiffed. Like I told you above! They find out after about a month that they won't be paid and they quit. But nobody ever DOES anything. Well now, en masse, they ARE doing something and maybe with a lot of people saying the same thing, they'll win. And they are including me in this lawsuit too. I can't tell you how happy it would make me to see Huasheng forced to pay all the people they have cheated! But that remains a dream for now. According to this blogpost, this sort of thing never happens. And to be fair, we're in China here so, will the ordinary people win, or will the company win. We shall see....

It's an epilogue I could never have guessed! Good for you, girls! I hope you fill my half empty glass!