Okay, I know his name sounds almost exactly like incredibly sinful and delicious, (and 100% Canadian), food, but I can't support Putin on his recent decision to back a bill outlawing homosexual "propeganda" in Russia. Right. Russia. The country where Sochi is located. Sochi. The host city of the next Winter Olympics. In 2014.
And I'm not saying this in the hopes that the Olympics will be moved to Vancouver if Putin and his "strongly traditional Russian" party members gay bash the Olympics right out of Russia, but, hey, they just painted a bunch of crosswalks in Vancouver like rainbows. We're ready!
I'm saying this because I think he's nuts! The Olympics would make money if they were held in Syria! The WINTER Olympics! How moronic do you have to be to make THIS the time you start behaving in such a non-olympic manner? Aside from the desperately needed buttloads of cash Putin might be costing his country, what makes me think he's falling off his Russian rocker is now that he has the world's attention, shouldn't he use it to promote Glastnost or Smirnoff Vodka or an NHL team in Russia? Nope. Get it out on the world stage that Russia does not abide any relationship that is not distinguished by "normal" gender roles or based on "traditional" sexual orientation. He probably doesn't know how NON-Olympian that is!
First things first, in the official Olympic Charter, article #6 in the section entitled Fundamental Priciples of Olympism states: "Any form of discrimination with regard to a country or a person on grounds of race, religion, politics, gender or otherwise is incompatible with belonging to the Olympic Movement." Now I know it says, "gender", not gender-bender, but, by golly, discrimination against gay people would definitely fall under the "otherwise."
I wonder if Putin is up on his Olympic history. The Olympics originated in ancient Greece. GREECE! Let me give you some unnecessary detail on what I mean...
The ancient Greeks did not conceive of sexual orientation as a social indentifier. Sexual desire wasn't distinguished by the gender of the participants. So the inclusion of "gender" in the Olympic ideals as an example of discrimination that is not consistent with the whole Olympic Movement could very well be read as an advocation of love that is not limited to same-sex partners. In this interpretation of the Olympic ideals, homosexuality IS Olympism!
Well, you might not be quite so extreme in your own interpretation, but consider a few other things about the ancient Greeks and the first Olympic games. There were only a few original sports and all were contested between athletes of the same gender, sweaty in the Grecian heat, and completely NEKKID. Some of the original sports were the marathon, wrestling and a primitive spinner-based sport that closely resembles the modern board game of Twister. Come on! You know there were, uh, interested spectators throwing water on the toned, athletic, perspiration-slicked bodies of the wrestlers to cool them down, and perhaps accidentally on purpose, muddy up the soil they were wrestling on.
Consideration #2: Every male in ancient Greece, as a socially accepted right of passage, perhaps ironically, to become a MAN, paired up with an older man who instructed the boy in the ways of Greek life. This included a sexual relationship.
Consideration #3: Homosexuality was a formidable military strategy. If you are putting your life in another man's hands, why not have as strong a bond as possible? I'm not going to make any of the easy jokes about crack leadership, Rear Admirals or that sort of thing because I'm better than that. Achilles, the greatest Greek mythological warrior of them all had a male lover named Patroclus. You may have noticed that if you watched the movie, "Troy."
Consideration #4: Have you ever heard of the poetess Sappho? She was from the Greek isle of, (hello? McFly?), Lesbos. She wrote lots and lots of love poetry that was meant to be accompanied by the lyre. Hence, "lyrical" poetry. Most of it was composed of or for her female students and it was just dripping with homoeroticism that far exceeds the modern boundaries of educational professionalism.
The origins of the Olympics make it an awful screwy place to get out your anti-gay soap box and start a blabbing! But I have known plenty of Russians. They have as strong a military heritage as the Greeks. They cherish their young men as soldiers and athletes. They drink a lot of vodka and kiss and hug a lot. They are a physically beautiful people. A Russian male can certainly admire the physical beauty of a young, finely conditioned soldier or athlete. They can love it. Maybe yearn for it a little bit. I'm making myself uncomfortable here. Heck I get uncomfortable washing a cucumber.
But I can't help but think of a Shakespeare line when I read a new article about all this stuff. It's from Hamlet I think. "The lady doth protest too much methinks." I just exchange "lady" for "Russian President." Think of all the recent jagoffs who have railed the loudest against homosexuality. Ted Haggard, for example. It turned out that he paid a male masseuse for sex for three years. Now he's in Gay A I guess. There are other examples. Many of them. I can't help but wonder if Putin is just the latest. Come on out of that closet Putin! You know you want to! THAT would be the more Olympian thing to do! Now I'm not going to make any easy jokes like Vlad the Dad, Vlad the Impaler or anything like that cuz I'm just better than that.
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