Truth or Consequences

Woken up this morning at 5 by a VERY loud jumbo jet flying too close to the roof of the house in which I was sleeping. Again I have one of these situations now where I can't remember if I was dreaming something or if it got in my head after waking up. But I have the Billy Joel song, "Honesty" going through my mind. It may have been on the soundtrack of the dream I was having or I might have spontaneously started after I was unceremoniously jolted awake not just by the loud aircraft but by the Garfieldian THUD of the upstairs cat being frightened off the chair, table, counter or elevated surface upon which it was positioned directly above my bed.

"If you look for tenderness it isn't hard to find... but if you look for truthfulness you might just as well be blind." "Honesty is such a lonely word. Everyone is so untrue. Honesty is hardly ever heard, but mostly what I need from you." It's a love song and he's addressing a chick he wants to bang - I mean romance, but these words would be so appropriate in so many of life's situations no? Like a job interview? It's easy for both the employer and the prospective employee to fake niceties for the duration of an interview. They can lie and even feign tenderness to the other until the hiring after which they are stuck with each other and the kid gloves come off. I've always said that job interviews are like first dates. I'll be doing some soon and am looking forward to them like root canals.

Why the hell is it so hard for us to be honest with each other? Ever get the feeling that we're all acting our ways through life? All the world's indeed a stage and we are merely players, performers and portrayers, each another's audience outside the gilded cage. I'm not sure this restricted freedom is all that "gilded" a cage for me, Mr. Peart. Mr. Neil Peart, lyricist for Rush who penned those lines borrowing from Shakespeare... I just feel restricted. "Gilded" means gold covered. A gilded cage is when you have restrictions but your situation is not all that bad. You're not uncomfortable. I get the feeling that so many people around me are settling for their slavery. They don't realize how limited they are and how much free-er they could be.

How many of us just don't have free time? When I was working I had days off but they were used to recover from days on physically and mentally, and to do chores that I had no time to do on work days. I know everyone out there knows how THAT is! Days off are like sleep because it is a drain on the brain our work world. I am ill equipped to act. Maybe insufficient tact if "tact" means, as I think it does nowadays, the ability to snow other folks, shine them on, con them, deceive them and sell them your character. So I must put up barriers to keep myself intact and that's draining. The phoniness of it is a drain on the entity we call the soul. At least to me. So free time is more like recovery time. I think the average person needs a little bit more. After all, how can you be free if you don't have enough free time?

But back to our original song, I didn't wake up with Rush hammerin' through my head. It was Billy Boy. The other day I had an experience that is not so uncommon and it's just another example of what I'm talking about where I wish I could have just sung "Honesty" to someone. I went to the gym right across the street from me. It's not even safe for me to get any cardio outside on the icy streets and since I'm not raising the old heart rate from doing patrols at work I thought I'd go over, ride the bike, maybe throw some weights around, you know, the whole health thing. I told the receptionist I'd never been there before and she said I could get a tour from a trainer. Off to a flying start! I actually prefer a gym with no trainers at all. It's not like I'm a rookie over here. I find they just get in the way. In fact I'd like it if I could have the whole gym to myself. I don't go to the gym to meet people; I don't want a spotter; I don't want to "work in" with others; I don't want to shower with others; I just want to get my burn on and get out. So the trainer happens by. Will Love was his name. I shit thee not! The first thing he says to me is, "We're gonna need you to fill out this form." Well immediately I'm on the defensive. I've been screwed by gyms before and I don't want to be locked into any long term contracts that I haven't been told about. Like the Fitness World scam. Don't go to Fitness World, they're scumbags!

So I say that to Brother Love and he says that he can't give me a tour if I don't fill out the paper. It's asking for my name, address, phone number, email, and lots of other information that is TOTALLY unnecessary for a waiver, which is what it was, but I'm just not in protest mood so I embrace my gilded cage and fill out the stupid form. After all if I slip on the wet deck of the pool I could sue the place. I have read in the local papers stories about the massive numbers of Calgarians slipping and hurting themselves on the streets and sidewalks of the city. I have filled out several slip and fall liability reports at work. I have navigated the sheer ice of the hill on which I live and need to go down after work and slipped myself countless times. It's the reason I want to ride the bike at this gym instead of go for a walk or a jog outside. Yet I can't even get a look at the place unless I sign a waiver. A waiver that forces me to relinquish information I can not be legally required to relinquish. Ahhhh screw it, here's the form Willy, do your best.

I'm now fully expecting the con job. He shows me around some rooms where people are working out, stretching, carbo loading, soaking in the pool, steaming, and such and I say, "Wow, it's a Sunday and there still seems to be a lot of folks here. I'm actually looking for a quiet gym." "Well that is exactly what we are!" He then goes into some explanation of how at peak hours it is a bit crowded but most of the time it's not. It was about 11 AM. Certainly NOT a time of the day that is popular for working out and I've already told him it looks busy to me. But I guess he figures if he says something I will believe him even if it's not true. Such a lonely word...

Then we get to the part I'm dreading most: the price. I start out by saying I don't want the scumbaggy Fitness World locked in contract. "Well that's exactly what we won't be offering," lies Will. He then gives me the price. There are a few but I've told him I want to pay month to month because my schedule is not stable one WEEK in advance never mind a year or two, or three. He tells me about the one year rate even though I'm not interested then he tells me it's 69 a month for twelve months. I say again I'm not interested if I have to make any agreement long term. And to me a year is long term. He then tells me about this deal where you pay 99 bucks to start. After that it's 59 a month but if you go on vacation or are working at camp for a month or something you can pay only 5 bucks. No long term commitment whatsoever! Okay why would I pay 5 bucks for nothing? He says that is so I can pay 59 again the next month I use the gym. Oh, oh, oh, so if I don't pay the 5 bucks I have to pay the 99 again the next month I come back. And I suppose if I just don't show up for an entire month the 5 bucks doesn't apply, right? I have to give you notice. Probably advanced notice, right? And what if I am away for a month that doesn't coincide with my payment date? Still full rate, right? And I guess the big question is how long would I be locked into this agreement?

Well he says again that I'm not locked into it for any specified length of time. No, I say, I'm locked in FOREVER! This IS a long term agreement and it's exactly what I'm NOT looking for. I actually didn't say that, I just nodded my head, took his card and allowed him to believe I was stupid enough to fall for these shenanigans. I guess I did that because I didn't want to get too deep into the BS and hear old Will Love mealy mouthing about how customers like the idea of being locked into a payment schedule because it gives them incentive to go to the gym. I got outta there without singing so much as a word of "Honesty" by Billy Joel, but I wish I could have.

Now if I tell this story or any story about people just playing their roles and acting their parts like old Will, there are all kinds of folks who just give me the old, "Well that's the way of the world," or some equally hopeless, complacent, apathetically pithy axiom in hopes that I will join them in their suffering. Well, as I've related here before, I don't have a house or a mortgage hanging over my head, I don't have a wife or kids to send to college, I don't even have a dog to feed, so I am a weirdo. I have the genuine freedom to move on from a toxic situation at work rather than try to placate myself with platitudes. I can even move out of a country where I can't find a decent job if I want. I can distance myself from losers who don't have a problem with lying for a living. I still have that freedom, but boy it's deteriorating.

I have plenty of legitimate reasons for leaving the site where I was working. But I will be going to the EI office soon and explaining why I left THAT toxic situation and am expecting to hear from a worker who knows he/she is just chock o block full of crap, these same tired, overused, field hand spirituals, "There's nothing we can do." "The work world is tough." "You can't expect stressless, honest employers." "We're all in this together." "Chin up, it's not as bad as it seems." "There's always someone else who has it worse." "Accentuate the positive eliminate the negative." "Wade in the water. Wade in the water children..."

Is it me? Am I expecting too much? Why can't I work for someone who won't lie to me? Why can't I find a job that I enjoy AND is not causing conflict with the principles I have chosen for my life? Why can't we ALL? "Freedom, oh freedom. Well that's just some people talkin'. Our prison is walkin' through this world all alone." Well now it's the Eagles. Gee I wonder why there are so many songs about this same thing.

"For your safety," "Thank you for choosing Calgary Transit," Our bank machines will give you access to your money, sometimes, and for a small fee, for YOUR convenience," "...because we care," "I'm fine," "Easytax," "How are you," "Fair market value," "No taxation without representation," "Fat free," "One size fits all," "Rock the vote," "No preservatives added," "Looking forward to meeting you,"........ Oh the truthiness! These are the bars of our prison. Leastaways, that's what I reckon.