The Frog in a Pot Analogy

Here is something to think about:

Makes me feel lucky to be where I am. But for some reason I always feel uncomfortable about feeling lucky to be where I am here in Canada.

Here I sit sipping a coffee that I made from boiling clean tap water, bangin' away at my computer that has internet, sitting in my large room beside my large bed underneath a roof, (or in my case a floor), that keeps the snow off, heated by the heater and making fists with my toes in the carpet that separates my feet from the cold, cement floor. Just before making my coffee I woke up, checked my mail and messages on my smartphone, arranged a time to meet my bro and sis-in-law for dinner tonight and played my Simpsons game all while under my soft flannel sheets. And I haven't worked in almost two months. In fact I arranged my immigration physical for a week from today on April 4th. I will have the results 3-4 days after that and then I'm looking for a flight. Chances are I'll be flying to Malaysia around the middle of the month. That'll be about two and a half months without working. Nice little break. There are few people who could take that long a break. I sure am lucky!

And I have some sense of how lucky I am. Maybe because of my exposure to the less fortunate in Canada during my upbringing or exposure to the REALLY less fortunate overseas during my travels. I'm not sure. I think it's a combination. Living a year with my grandparents on Hamilton Mountain where everybody had to buy water by the truckload, bathing in two inches of already used bath water, flushing not necessarily every time I used the toilet, watering the plants with the dish water, frothing at the mouth for half a glass of the carefully rationed refrigerated water... to this day it just drives me bananas seeing people wasting water! Yesterday my brother Jeff was shaving with the bathroom sink tap running full blast for at least half an hour. It was while I was on my computer and I could not concentrate on what I was typing. I wanted so badly to barge in and turn the tap off. But I knew it was not worth the conflict that would result.

Another time he was just running the hot water in the kitchen sink for no reason. I turned it off and he turned it back on. Then wandered around not really doing anything. I turned it off AGAIN and got in his face. "What the fuck," I believe was my eloquent challenge of his behaviour. He turned it back on and yelled something like, "I do this every morning for my sinuses. It's my process." I wanted to ground and pound him. Seriously! With a shaky voice I said, "Get a bowl and fill it up and stick your face in it with a towel over the back of your head." He said nothing, the hot water continued to run and I continued to seethe. I have lived in more than one country where every drop of water I drank was bought by the bottle. But I'm not living there now. And I realize the utter insignificance of one person running water for that long in Canada. Jeff and I don't pay for water here hot OR cold so what's the big deal? In the summer there are entire streets, (or more likely entire SIDES of streets), all over Canada with sprinklers flooding lawns all day long. Married men sneaking outside, or maybe having been ordered outside, hose in one hand, beer in the other watering flowers, grass, cement, concrete, house, roof, car for hours. So why would it bother me that Jeff had a tap turned on for a mere half hour? Enough to almost come to blows with him. Enough to eat my liver out every time it happens. No explanation, it just DOES.

That's not all either! There are lights that have been left on in this house since we arrived here. We don't pay the electric bill so screw it, leave the light on! They are JEFF'S lights, of course, not mine. Little night lights but they still use electricity. And the T.V. He almost never turns that off either. My reason for conservation is more global than Jeff's seems to be. His reason is just cost to self. If we were paying for water and electric he might be different. I would not.

I'll stop picking on Jeff now. But another example of pure waste that drives me insane is food waste. Everywhere I go, everyone I see. I was at my friend Brent's place not so long ago. It was just before he went to Cancun for a week and I took care of his dog for him. He treated me to a mighty good lasagna and Caesar salad dinner. With garlic buttered baguette. MAN it was good! For some reason I was a bit gassy that night and couldn't eat very much. As Brent wrapped up half a baguette of garlic toast and half the salad in the baguette tinfoil and proceeded to chuck it directly into the garbage I wanted to just dive in there and gorge myself even though I was chock-a-block full. I felt at fault for not eating my fair share of the food. I see food waste all the time! Especially with kids. There are kids in Canada who have probably never finished everything on their plates. NEVER! Again, both upbringing and foreign exposure probably have something to do with why this absolutely rots my socks off. I have been at the houses of family and friends who have kids, saw half finished Sponge Bob or Disney plates of food that are destined for the trash and surreptitiously polished them off during clean up. But I have SEEN with my own eyes, (and heart), kids who are so disadvantaged that they would have considered themselves fortunate to have done the same. I was never starving while growing up but we never had food left on our plates and almost never had food left over. And when we did it wasn't scraped into the garbage, it was scraped into Tupperware to be mixed into future meals. Well, todays parents, who have Foodsafe certificates, would tell you how many dangerous kinds of bacteria build up on that food as it sits in the Tupperware overnight.

Ask a kid. Or a teen. Maybe even like a 30-year-old. "Do you know what 'goulash' is?" They might not. But most of my generation, and similar economic class, had our versions of goulash. That's when Mom can't get rid of the leftover beans, corn, mashed potatoes, squash, maybe some other veggies, (it's always the veggies :)), mixes them ALL with a pound of hamburger, (sorry, ground beef), and, voila, goulash. Well that's a veritable petri dish of germs and bacteria to today's knowledgeable parents. Those germs were like vitamins to me when I was a kid! MMM MMM GOOD!

Where am I going with this? Not sure yet but I think I just have to keep typing and it'll work its way out. I think because of the way my life has gone, the fact that I saw Canada back in the 80's and 90's and then didn't really see it again through the zeroes and early tens, it saved me from the frog in the pot syndrome and allowed me an outsider's perspective on how much my country has changed over those years. You know what I mean by the frog in the pot syndrome? When you put a frog in a pot of cold water and gradually heat it the frog doesn't notice the water getting hot, because it's gradual, and you can boil it alive. I've never tried this so I don't know if it's true, but I liken a lot of Canadians to frogs like this. They have remained in Canada and things have so gradually changed, for the worse, that they haven't noticed and now don't think much of them. Not just water, food and electricity. These are some fairly innocuous examples. Things like culture, social attitudes, politics, education, business, THESE are the boiling water that will cook Canadians if things continue to gradually heat up here. In my humble opinion.

It hurts but it's gotta be said: Canada is becoming more selfish. Think of the three examples already given. All qualify as selfish. There are so many examples of ways we are encouraged in Canada to be selfish! In my opinion Canadians now see each other more as competitors than countrimen. It's been a gradual process. When I was young EVERYBODY knew their neighbours and talked to strangers. People hitchhiked, let their kids play unsupervised, trusted people they had never met. We believed even politicians were telling the truth, (well maybe that's a stretch); we were not absolutely positive that everything we bought was a total rip-off; we thought we were taxed fairly fairly; we trusted in the purity of our sports and entertainment heroes; we were just a whole lot less cynical. As an expert on cynicism, ahem, I believe it's just another kind of selfishness because cynics point out not just negativity, but more how things are negatively affecting ME. I believe the boiling water that has lead to this is capitalism. Not just individuals being socialized into believing that the pursuit of money is more and more important, but the evolution of our country into a greed-based, giant corporation as well.

My cable wasn't working yesterday. It was not dead, just had a few little problems. This is cable that I signed a three-year agreement to pay. Not only did some websites not work on my PC, my favourite game on my cellphone, (which I signed a multi-year contract for also), wasn't working. Not only that but I got the cable bill and for this downgrade in service we got an UPgrade in pay. It's 10 bucks more this month with no explanation. And there is absolutely nothing we can do about it. This sort of business practice has slowly sneaked up on us and could also be compared to the frog in the pot. Get people locked in for a lengthy period of time and relax with the quality and service. When did this type of scam become allowable in this country? I don't know for sure but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that if there were a vote to make this crap illegal in Canada 99% would love the idea. Ask yourself what other things in our lives we "buy" like this and you will see why this kind of corrupt business is NOT illegal. In a very real way we "buy" our politicians like this. They're in for their terms and their service just goes to shit as soon as we're locked in. What about our jobs? We are usually promised at contract time, more than is delivered by our employers aren't we? And as employees we build ourselves up, sometimes even LIE on the application, and not long after we get comfortable in the job and just walk it in, right? Hell even social relationships are like that! Act all nicety nice before they're locked into a marriage contract and then relax afterwards. Look at gyms. Most of them sell, in fact OVERsell, ONLY long-term contracts like this EXPECTING many people to quit before their contracts are up. LONG before. If they didn't the gym would not be able to accommodate all the members.

Being locked into long term, frog-in-a-pot contracts is a corrupt business policy that was perpetrated on the world by greedy, selfish people, GRADUALLY. And it has become so much a part of our culture in Canada over time that we don't really notice it. Unemployment insurance. Remember when you could actually quit a job for a good reason and GET this? My last employer promised me that I'd be transferred to another position and I'd get casual hours in the mean time. Every time I checked up on the progress for almost a month I got another excuse as to why I had not even an hour of work. Then I was told that they didn't even know I wanted them to look for hours for me. I told this to the U.I. people but still have received no money and have my doubts that my claim will get the go ahead. U.I. was not unfair like this before! It's mandatory and because of that the standards have relaxed. We're locked in. It is astounding what employers can get away with because their employees know that even though they SHOULD, they may not get the unemployment insurance benefits if they quit.

Yesterday and for almost a week before finally booking my doctor's appointment, I had to struggle through the endless telephone gymnastics, requisite 15-30 minute hold periods, unnecessary private information disclosure, bureaucracy, paperwork and crap like that in order to GET that doctor's appointment. Customer service is something of a generosity in business. If our product is highly sought after, or mandatory, we don't have to be nice to customers. But it's just plain selfish not to. Ditto for general courtesy and manners. These are more examples of the increasing selfishness I perceive here in Canada. I know I'm not alone in thinking common courtesy is a lot less common.

How about C.P.P.? Also mandatory. Also getting worse and worse. In fact, if I get ANY pension I'll divide it up between all you readers okay? I have very little hope that I will live to see a pension. Yet we all have to pay into it. We're locked in.

You could even say on a larger scale that our very citizenship, something else we are locked into, has deteriorated over time, but like frogs in pots, Canadians don't notice it. In fact I think they TRY not to notice it. I admit I can be the Angel of Death sometimes and a real downer talking doom and gloom, but I have noticed a marked increase in people in this country who are desperately positive and will not abide even the hint of negativity in their lives. People who certainly would not reach this point in this blog entry before exiting to soothingoceansounds.com or whatever. Coincidence? I think not.

Okay I think I am starting to get a direction here. I think it may be the same on a global scale. I can't speak for all the privileged countries of the world but I have seen what I call hyper-positivity all over the place. I was looking for something to watch on Netflix the other day and saw a film called "The Secret." It sounded intriguing. There is a secret that a lot of famous people in the world knew. Da Vinci, Shakespeare, Einstein, Napoleon, names like these were mentioned. I started watching only to realize that it was nothing but a cult-like, believe and receive, indoctrination film passing off false knowledge as a life changing secret. It REALLY pissed me off. Again, my upbringing and my travels. Can I imagine walking the slums of Manila, the farms of rural Cambodia or any of the poor places I've been and talking to people about this "secret?" Um, no. "Hey, get all negativity out of your lives! Don't concentrate on being hungry, just believe you will get rich and you will attract money! Moreover, you ARE hungry and dirt poor because you just think too negatively!" The people would beat the shit out of me, take my wallet, shoes, jewelry and anything of value I have and walk away saying, "Hey that guy is RIGHT! I'm already richer after hearing that bullshit!"

It's because this philosophy is essentially greed itself. Feeling good about wealth is not bad. Feeling good about success is okay too. But this is feeling good about obscenely unfair wealth. Which translates into feeling good about creating obscenely UNfair poverty. That is the root of practically every problem in our world and it is capitalism defined.

I believe this world has more than enough wealth and resources for every single person to be rich, and feel proud of their wealth. I really do! But go back to the graphic graphic at the top again. Not really happening in the world is it? And even though we in Canada have lots of electricity, water, food, money, I really hate the way we waste our privilege. That goes for the other resources too. And I wish people could realize how hot the water is in the Canadian pot we're in and start changing it. Not only are the changes possible, they're simple. Make our country's businessmen stop with the oil and develop the massive, and I believe even more profitable potential for cleaner energy we have in this country. Stop screwing our own citizens and truly reform government. Fair prices. Fair pay. Fair business and cultural policies. Back to proper education, not expensive training. More old fashioned respect for apprenticeship rather than diploma and certificate buying in the workplace. We could really be world leaders and maybe other countries would copy us. But we continue on in the path that is messing up Canada and the world. Whistling a nervous tune all the while trying to force false happiness upon ourselves when the real thing is well within our reach.

I think the wheels have fallen off my metaphor of the frog in the pot. The idea of being locked in like a lid on the frog pot kind of ruins it because the frog can't escape. The whole wonder of the analogy is that the frog could jump out of the pot but doesn't. I guess I will need to work on this some more... But I'll continue flogging a flawed metaphor. I think because I got out of the water when it was relatively cool, spent some time overseas broadening my horizons, then hopped back into the water in the Canadian pot now that it's much hotter, that, in a tightly stretched analogy, is why I have noticed the temperature where many of my fellow, (no offence to French Canada), Canadian frogs haven't, and also why I am hopping the hell back out of this water.

Now, I am not expecting Indonesia to be without corruption or greed or any of the above. But at least I'll have a good job there. And a good lifestyle. And I might even be able to enjoy my success knowing from whence it will come.

How to save the world

It's been a while. I have been scrambling around preparing for my newest overseas adventure. Not buying sunblock and polishing the golf clubs but sending reams of paperwork to my employers, getting this notarized and couriered, that apostilled and Fedexed, because we all know I haven't been where I've been, taught what I've taught, and studied what I have studied until I pay a notary public 70 bucks to do nothing in the way of verification but put her stamp on a piece of paper that says so. How do I get THAT job?!?! I don't know her more than 5 minutes of my life and her busy workday, and she stamps and signs my official degree, (well NOW it's official), and I'm out the door. The only thing she verified was whether I was paying cash, credit or debit for her services. All tolled about $150. This on TOP of official transcripts being couriered directly from my university, with THEIR stamp affixed to them, at the low, low price of 90 bucks.

I have had to print out, sign, scan and email so many documents that it would have cost me more to go to Staples and use their facilities than buy a new printer and do it from home. So I bought a new printer and did it from home.

All this while accessing my Service Canada account every morning and receiving the "We have received your application for E.I. and are doing our best to process it as soon as possible..." or however they say, sorry, you've been out of work for almost two months and the INSURANCE we force you to buy for just such an occasion still ain't paying out. Why don't I feel any sense of insurance?

I can't say I'm not (almost) enjoying this stuff though. Apart from the wait for employment insurance, because I am really looking forward to the goal that it all leads to. I'm pretty excited about living in a place with a pool! I'll be gutted if for some reason I can't find one. But I'm sure having a maid, driver, back yard garden, and a nice place, even without a pool, I'll get over it. Also I will have a new language to try to learn, new places to go, people to meet, a fairly new culture to explore, (went to Bali for a month in the early (?zeroes?) two thousands), new place to work, new co-workers and I'll be back to doing the job that I love most. Of all the jobs I've done. I mean I'm sure I'd like it better if I were the personal biographer of Bear Grylls or something but I've never had that job.

But stress is the result of change, negative OR positive, and I think it might have just caught up with me all at once over the last few days. I guess it could have been the wait in the clinic waiting room for an immigration physical including HIV/drug blood and urine tests, which I still haven't been able to get; or it could have been the rush hour C-train ride to Mark and Sherrilynn's place that was so crowded with people and germs it brought me right back to Asia; or maybe something I ate or drank... I dunno. But Sunday, Monday and Tuesday my body has spontaneously orchestrated a sort of all exit enema the likes of which I HAVE experienced only once before, in the Philippines, where I'm pretty sure I had malaria. All I have managed to do is sleep, watch Netflix, and eat two meals, which were instantly liquefied and purged. That and moan and groan. I'm pretty sure I had a fever because every time I got up or even turned over in bed I got the tingles. Call me weird but I like the sick boy tingles. They remind me of my childhood when I was always sick. This is the first time I've had anything but a cold since that time in the Philippines with my self-diagnosed malaria. I am just never sick. And I said that during my telephone interview with my new boss, John. And now look at me.

Today I feel better but don't think I'll go out and try to get that physical at the clinic today just to be sure I give the appropriate amount of time for this bug, if it happens to be the flu, to run its course. I'm happy to be up and about though. I'll tell you whatever I had sucked all the energy right out of me! Just being in an upright position at the computer using my body for something other than to fight that ague feels like a victory. Yesterday I had no choice but to go out and buy some essentials. Milk, margarine, bread and eggs. Can't make ANYTHING without those things! I walked up to the Family Market and back. Taking off my backpack full of groceries when I got home I felt like I was removing my frosty gear at basecamp after having just completed a successful but gruelling descent of Everest.

So what, in my lengthy absence from blogging, has ping ponged around the one part of my body that remained productive during my convalescence? How to save the world, of course. It's that crazy graphic I found a while ago that illustrates what a trillion bucks looks like. Combined with some stats in the trillions of dollars and metaphorically fused with my recent gastrointestinal lava spewing.

Please click on THIS LINK if you haven't seen this graphic graphic yet.

Isn't that nuts? I can't believe how little a pile a million bucks is! But then if I think about it, just ONE of those little sheets of paper would be really nice right about now. I'm probably like a huge chunk of this world in dreaming about the first picture in that illustration. "Oh I wish I had an extra hundred bucks!" I'm proud to count myself among the impoverished majority on our planet. The second graphic removes me from the majority I reckon in that I have HAD that much in my lifetime. A few times I have had 10 thou. to my name. Not today, but... that's pretty much the neighbourhood of the most money I've ever had.

So the million dollars represents 100 times the most money I've ever had. It seems unattainable to me. Here I think I am back in the majority. To conceive of people who understand the next couple of phases is, I freely admit, beyond my mental scope. I mean there are people out there that have attained positions in this world that enable them to think of the 100 million pile the way I, and so many others, think of the 100 dollars: "Oh I wish I had an extra 100 million!" What blows my mind even more is that I think, (and there's no way of knowing this, but), I THINK these people feel the same way as I do now when they make this absurd comment. They actually feel that they NEED that extra 100 mil. cuz they're BROKE! This is a legitimate sickness, my dear readers.

But if that sickness is the common cold of money dementia, what economic Ebola is being spread amongst the very few on our planet who can actually say that about a billion dollars? And don't kid yourself, they're out there. "Oh I wish I had an extra billion dollars!" I guarantee you people have uttered this phrase or something like it. Maybe while trying to impoverish a nation by supporting a shaky temporary military government coup, maybe while funding the troops that oust that government, or maybe while draining the country's resources while making it look like they are financially supporting the establishment of a new, more democratic nation, people have definitely said this! As I commented on facebook not long ago, these people can afford the best mental facilities available in the world. Put them there immediately because they are extremely ill. The one unique thing about this ailment is that it's not the sufferer who dies from it, it's almost everyone else. While they're in the mental facilities, study them, create an antidote and a vaccination for this virus, and while they are in the hospitals, have clear-minded individuals dispersing their billions throughout the world in a socialist therapy that would, indeed, be the cure itself!

Like all good rehabilitative therapy it would need to be gradual. You have to crawl, before you can walk, right? Send a few billion to one of the countries the patient has ruined and show him how it actually helps the country and makes people happy to be well fed, healthy and productive. Do this slowly but surely until the patient is learning how to take pleasure in the happiness of other people. Then when you break it to him that he has a net worth only in the hundreds of millions he will be better able to incorporate that into his fractured and malfunctioning intellect. Continue with this until the patient's fortune is merely enough to support him and his entire extended family for the rest of their lives and you may actually have brain functions approaching normal once again. Some patients may require a more aggressive type of therapy that incorporates actual WORK, possibly exposure to, and in some remote cases, living amongst the public, but only if necessary.

I think Roger Waters and Pink Floyd said it long before me, and much more melodically:

take all your overgrown infants away somewhere
and build them a home a little place of their own
the Fletcher memorial
home for incurable tyrants and kings
and they can appear to themselves every day
on closed circuit T.V.
to make sure they're still real
it's the only connection they feel
"ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Reagan and Haig
Mr. Begin and friend Mrs. Thatcher and Paisley
Mr. Brezhnev and party
the ghost of McCarthy
the memories of Nixon
and now, and in colour, a group of anonymous Latin
American meat packing glitterati"
did they expect us to treat them with any respect
they can polish their medals and sharpen their
smiles, and amuse themselves playing games for a while
boom boom, bang bang, lie down you're dead
safe in the permanent gaze of a cold glass eye
with their favourite toys
they'll be good girls and boys
in the Fletcher memorial home for colonial
wasters of life and limb
is everyone in?
are you having a nice time?
now the final solution can be applied

It's from the album "The Final Cut." I think it's a highly underrated album. You can tell how old the problem is by the names in the song. The names of corporate big wigs could be easily substituted. Names like Hugh Grant, (Monsanto CEO), Bob Dudley or Tony Hayward who would be the more recognizable B.P. head man, any of the Waltons of Wal-mart fame, maybe a person in politics or two like Dink Cheney or other architects of the new world order. We shouldn't hate these people, we should pity them. They are sick and need our help. They just don't know it. We need to institutionalize them for their own good. And it needs to happen soon because there is a danger on the horizon. The danger is a super virus that makes Ebola and this money sickness look like a hangnail. Soon there will be people who might say, "Oh I wish I had an extra TRILLION dollars!" And I don't believe there can be any help for these people.

Let's look at the signs of this imminent pandemic. First check THIS out. Then there's stuff like THIS and THIS about the 21 to 31 TRILLION bucks hidden in "tax shelters" overseas in the Cayman Islands or Switzerland. This should make us ALL nervous.

What are these stories telling us? Well, let's break them down. First of all the euphemism of the day: "tax shelter." I just love that! This is one of the symptoms of the money sickness: vocabulary variance. The difference between "tax evasion" which people, relatively poor people, can be jailed for, and "tax sheltering" is dependant upon membership in the extra billion club. "Slave labour" becomes "outsourcing." Screwing the local employee before outsourcing to a more "economically viable location" becomes "downsizing," or "redundancy." People, they are shipping American and Canadian chicken to China to have it plucked and processed then shipped back! Of course then this will create a need to change food safety "rules" to food safety "guidelines." Rather than support your own people and chop up chicken at home, it is "cost-efficient" to send it to China and back. That can only come from decades of careful cultivation of slave labour through systematic impoverishing of nations in order to MAKE labour so inexpensive in those countries and workers redundant anywhere they are paid enough to pay the bills. But that's not "oligarchy" that's just "business." This is HOW that money that is so dirty it needs to be "hidden," I'm sorry, "sheltered" overseas is made. And if it's hidden you just know no matter how thorough this James Henry was, it could just be the amount that the super rich allowed him to uncover in order to ensure that the bulk of the money remains unaccounted for. Do the super rich EVER tell Forbes their actual worth for their list every year? Of course not! That would scare people! And rightfully so! Same thing happening here and that is probably what prompted Henry's statement that the real total IS closer to 31 trillion.

And these are the same heads of the same companies, the same mentally unbalanced individuals who are accepting, indeed, feel ENTITLED to "corporate welfare," or as they would phrase it, "government subsidies." So, they have enough money to end the world's problems, but the world's problems is what made them that money. Pssst, they purposely CREATED the world's problems! They have this money stashed away so nobody gets any big ideas about doing anything silly like allowing everyone to be self-sufficient and for the added purpose of not paying taxes. Furthermore, they take government assistance for their obscenely successful companies because.... GASP!!! .... THEY WISH THEY HAD THAT EXTRA TRILLION!

I don't know what the stats are for Canada but have no reason to doubt they would be much the same. And I am here listening to people whinge about how their tax dollars go toward supporting welfare cases who are lazy and spend their free money on tattoos and should be drug tested before they get their checks. We have a fraction of a clue what the government does with our tax money. It's the only thing we pay for that we know so little about. Excuse me, it's the only thing we are FORCED to pay for that we know so little about. Yet we keep on doing it like the good little chattel we are. I said to my friend the other day that if there were a sign at the movies that read, "Billionaires free, everyone else pays double," we'd still go to the movie. That's not even a good analogy because at least you get to watch a movie and it could be good.

I know it may not be all that simple. Like I said this is something that hasn't happened overnight. It's been a systematic process that has taken some time. The ever decreasing fraction of the world's population who are the ones I am talking about here are probably not the ones who are brain damaged. But the system has been well entrenched by their predecessors and it is probably safe to say they are brain WASHED. Either way mandatory therapy is needed. In most, if not all cases it will need to be against their will. And they won't be easily brought in to the facilities where they belong. But it is our job to do it. If not this sickness will rage through US, not them, until it saps all of our skills, ideas, creativity, ingenuity, and happiness like shit we voluntarily flush into the corporate toilet then slump back to bed until the next bowel movement. Stop squirting into the New World Toilet. Take some economic Imodium and book a rich person into a home. Or steal their money and redistribute it like that great Socialist hero, Robin Hood. Short of that we could just show a rich person a video like THIS. Let the rich know that a tiny bit of their money could make others deliriously happy while a mountain of it to add to their pile won't create a fraction of that happiness in themselves. Make them see giving as more than a tax loophole. Nah! Just put them all into homes! Then the final solution can be applied. Redisperse all the money evenly and start the world over again. Take two. Let's try a different tack where we share and work together this time. See how long that lasts.

THIS is how we can save the world. Leastaways that's how I reckon.

The Canadian Experiment

I wanted to sum up my employment situation in the last 4 or 5 years in a single picture. The above is the best I could find. That's not Nutella. It's a shit sandwich. Really it goes back farther than that but I won't count working for Seokang as bad even though there were bad things about it. The real funk started when I quit that job. And believe me I didn't quit because the job was GOOD. I took a vacation to Canada and was told to surrender my alien card at the airport. I was assured it would cause me no problems when I got back to Korea on my return ticket. I found out that was bullshit before I even GOT back to Korea. I wasn't allowed on my flight back to Korea because I needed a ticket OUT of the country OR my alien card. I told the people in the Vancouver airport that I had been forced to surrender my alien card at airport immigration in Korea. They said they shouldn't have done that. So because all my money was back in Korea I had to call my Mom and get her to purchase me a ticket to Japan from Korea before I got on the plane. Luckily we were able to do this. When I returned to Korea I had all kinds of problems finding a place to stay, getting cable, opening a new bank account, practically everything required an alien card. I think the fact that I was staying in the country without an alien card, (or a work visa), just on a visitor's visa, (and who the hell wants to VISIT Korea?), is what led the people at the immigration office in Gwangju to assume I was a criminal. They accused me of having no respect for Korean laws. One asshole actually baited me to jump over the counter and fight him. I wanted to SOOOOO badly!

1. Before vacationing in Canada, I thought I had found a job in Pyungtaek working at a uni where there were a few people I knew working already. They told me I had already been pencilled into the schedule and they had all given me a class or so. The job prospect allowed me to spend a bit more liberally than I would have otherwise on my vacation. Then after returning to Korea, at the last minute I got a call saying that the uni couldn't hire me because I did not have a master's degree. They knew long before that I didn't have a master's so this was just an excuse to cover up the real reason I wasn't hired. No idea what that might have been. Maybe THEY thought I was illegally teaching while living in Korea on my visitor's visa too. I wasn't!

2. I remained in Korea, (near Pyungtaek having moved expecting the above job), in THIS

house, and looked for a kid's camp during the upcoming break. That would at least allow me to recover the savings I was spending doing nothing during the semester. I found a children's English camp in Naju at Dongshin University where I had done two camps before and was well known. At least I thought I was... Last minute THEY pulled out as well stating that one of their regular university profs wanted to do the camp and they had to show him preference.

3. They felt bad about that so they told me that there was an opening in the upcoming semester at Dongshin and I should apply. I did and I got the job! Signed the contracts and everything. I still have them!

Unfortunately the fingerprint-based criminal record check that I had applied for 8 months prior to the job offer STILL had not arrived due to a new and paranoid, hastily enforced law in Korea inspired by an isolated incident that led to the hypersensative, and racist, reaction of requiring ALL foreign workers in Korea to get the fingerprint-based CRC's, coupled with the fact that there are so many Canadians working in Korea, there was an 8 month backlog. At visa time the Gwangju Immigration Office would not allow me any leeway whatsoever even though I had a criminal record check that was less than 6 months old just not fingerprint-based, even though I showed them that it was from the same place, the C.P.I.C. Canadian Police Information Centre in Ottawa, you get fingerprint-based CRC's. I also explained that if you get one like the one I showed them and it comes back "incomplete" THEN that prompts a fingerprint-based criminal record check. Incomplete means that your sex and date of birth matches a sex offender report. Names are not released due to privacy laws so they compare fingerprints. My CRC was negative meaning my date of birth and sex did not match any sex offenses in Canada and I, therefore, did not need a fingerprint-based check. The fingerprint check DOES associate the person with pardoned sex offenders or people whose trials are ongoing. I am not sure if the name-based CRC does. In other words the government of Korea requiring fingerprint-based criminal record checks is completely useless, or at the very least trying to treat people as guilty before being tried or after being found innocent, and it is treating everyone who has a name-based check that has come back negative as though it has come back incomplete and their birth date and sex match those of a sex offender. In either case they are just viewing foreigners as the suspected child molesting barbarians their forefathers warned them of a long time ago. But I learned that trying to explain that at the immigration office might not have been the best idea because firstly they didn't know the recent laws were so racistly retro, (and although there is liable to be reams of it, pointing out info your immigration officer doesn't know just makes them even less likely to do that thing they didn't know they were supposed to do), and secondly because they whole-heartedly supported the racistly retro laws. So after causing a scene at the Gwangju Immigration office I went home and started to pack for Canada. My Criminal record check arrived the next day. It might have been two days later. Within HOURS though. So because I couldn't use it, I still have that

too.

4. Got a job as a night auditor in a hotel in Smithers. Only on weekends and it was midnight shift. Shittiest hours possible and part time. But I was good! I was perfectly balancing before I was even finished training. The regular auditor, Gary, was impressed. But went to Vancouver to get my stuff off the boat from Korea and visited my brother, Andy. He told me of a friend who worked at an ESL school in Victoria and she said the school was "Uber interested" in me. More pay, regular hours, better job. I had no intentions of moving but rumours spread and before long the whole town of Smithers believed I was moving to Victoria. My boss decided to take this as somewhat less than 100% commitment to a part-time, shit wage, shit shift job so she made up all kinds of fairy tales about how I wasn't a good fit for the job and I should move to Victoria. Other jobs I had done in the past in Smithers were no longer open to me like substitute teaching and working for the jail. They all required, of course, more, (and more expensive), certification. I couldn't even get a job at Canadian Tire or Dairy Queen because I was overqualified and wouldn't commit to them fully. What choice did that leave me?

5. Got to Victoria and promptly found out that to teach ESL in the place where they were uber interested I required TESL certification. I HAVE TESL certification. Well, according to them and Canada TESL, it doesn't meet the specifications of Canada TESL. I asked what those specifications might be but got no answer. I suspect there is one and only one specification and I have shared it here before: payment to Canada TESL. The facts that I had 15 years of experience and had actually taught TESL and contributed to the development of it in Korea, by far the largest TESL market in the world, don't mean a thing without the wallpaper. Just before I got a high ranking member of the school district to agree that my being forced to re-certify was asinine and getting her to grandfather me in, I got a job at Paladin Security that was double the hours but paid a bit more than the teaching job would have. It was straight midnights at 10 bucks an hour doing security at two office buildings and a strip mall. To this day I have never worked a bigger rip off of a job. Doubt I ever will. I talked to clients and they were ALL paying 25 bucks an hour for every hour of security I provided. So Paladin was probably making 500 bucks for every hour I worked and paying me 10. I was working full time midnights and living in utter poverty. Not to mention incredibly questionable living quarters. Ever been bitten by a bedbug? You don't want that shit let me tell you. I still managed after a year to pay off all my debts and get the hell off the island but not before having a major blow-up with brother Andy that we will never recover from.

6. Went to brother Rob and sis-in-law Terri's wedding in Calgary. While there I went to the Paladin office and asked about a transfer. They decided to put me in the hospital guard training the following week. So I put most of my stuff in storage in Victoria, brought the essentials and moved in with brother Jeff in Calgary. Before long I was working at the PLC, (Peter Lougheed Center), hospital. I was making 15 bucks an hour now. Didn't like the job so got transferred to Southport, the administration buildings for Alberta Health Services. LOVED the job there! For a very short time. Then my hours were cut in half and I had to scramble for hours at hospitals around town to fill in the missing 20 hours of my shifts. These hours were normally patient watch. Ever stare at a patient for 12 hours straight? It sucks, believe me! But I had an ace in the hole! I had put in my name for a job as a mailroom clerk/receptionist at Southport. This would be working directly FOR A.H.S. That means good hours, good salary, good benefits, the whole shebang! It took a while but I finally GOT THE JOB!!!!! I GOT THE JOB! They took my vital information and told me the job was mine. Gaylene was the name of the lady who did this. Well sometime after doing so the Alberta budget came out and there were major cuts to health care. Gaylene got all wishy washy. "Well, now that there's a hiring freeze and wage freeze I have to get permission to hire you. It probably won't take too long..." I had been told I already WAS hired. But I waited. People came and went in both the mailroom and the receptionist positions all the while I kept working there, was available but was not hired. Then the floods came. The hardest hit area was High River and Gaylene's house is in High River. So this postponed the job further. But I was strung along even further by Gaylene. Finally the job came up again and I applied again and was NOT chosen. I was told that Glennis would be better for the receptionist part and I would get a job only in the mailroom. That should come up in about a month. Well, to tell the truth, I preferred that. So the month came and went, then more and more months. The mailroom is busier than ever but I never did work a single shift in it marking the FIFTH job in 2 years that I had either almost had or actually HAD that the employer backed out of at the last minute.

7. I got sick of trying to fill in my week with crappy shifts at the hospitals and they got harder to get. The people I had to phone and beg for the hours were no longer answering their phones or emails or messages. I heard that one of the building guards at Southport was retiring soon so I went to TSM to apply for his position. This was in August of 2013. They told me they wanted me and I would be working the same job that Joe was retiring from, that is, Southland Park buildings 3 and 4. This is what building security call the same site that A.H.S. calls Southport. They also said that while I was waiting for Joe to retire at the end of November I could work weekends at SLP1 and 2. This filled out my week nicely. I worked for Paladin for 20 hours at Southport and I worked for TSM 24 hours, (12 hours Sat. and 12 hours Sun), a week. Oddly enough I was making $16.87/hr. from TSM, (only 16.50 from Paladin), working 8 extra hours per paycheck but I noticed I was not getting as much money. I did some calculations and found that TSM was taking almost 30% off my checks for tax and CPP and such. I brought this to their attention but for some reason it was ignored. I had two shirts that were the wrong size and had to work the summer with them covered up under the hot sweater. Brought this to their attention several times as well and was told they'd do something but nothing was done. Joe retired a month earlier than planned and at the very last minute I was half-assed trained for one day for my site and only because I reminded TSM that I hadn't been trained there. It seemed like nobody was doing their jobs at TSM. I found out why soon enough. 11 days after I started working full time for them they got bought up by Garda. One of the reasons I wanted to work for them was because I found the big company, Paladin, to be hard to communicate with and TSM being small was better. Not for long. Had I known I was jumping onto a sinking ship when I joined TSM I may have thought twice about it.

8. So I was now working for Garda. The first thing they did was fuck up December pay and have a Christmas party that I couldn't go to. I don't think ANY of the TSM people went and I don't think they were wanted. Way to make a first impression! It was also in December that my brother Jeff, who I was living with in a very reasonably priced three bedroom apartment that I would have LOVED to continue living in, got himself evicted. I didn't want him looking for a place on his own cuz being on disability he would have a better shot at finding something decent with me. So I moved out too. Into a place that isn't as nice, is farther from work and had me stranded out in the -30 weather waiting for buses or taxis far too many times, and costs triple for me. Only a little bit more for Jeff. And the TSM/Garda job just got crappier and crappier. Here is a copy of my request for a transfer off the site. These 12 reasons for leaving are euphemistic at best and I could go into gory detail about all of them but even without the detail, come on, would YOU have stayed?

Hi Geoff.



I'm sure this will come as no surprise. I've been weighing pros and cons of staying at SLP ever since I heard the rumours about the new rotating guard system and the pros column just keeps coming up light. Here are a few reasons why I would like to submit my official letter of resignation from the site. Now, I am not quitting. If TSM/Garda has another position, (closer to where I live), no reasonable offer will be refused. But I had three main reasons for quitting Paladin and moving to TSM. Those reasons will all have been duplicated whenever the new system is implemented and I have at least a half a dozen other reasons for wanting a change of site.



1. Hours cut in half at my site. (SLP3 & 4)



2. Forced to make up the rest of my hours at sites I don't like so much. I don't mind SLP 2 but like I said SLP 1 is secretary work and not what I signed up for.



3. Big company problems. For instance pay errors. The Christmas double pay and the most recent check for 857 I think for 84 hours. This happened with Paladin a lot and funnily enough it was never an error in my favour. Usually I had to do all kinds of extra bureaucracy to get the error amended and it took over two weeks. I'm guessing it might be the same. We shall see...



These are the three that lead to my jumping off the Paladin ship. But wait, there's more!



4. My little pay raise has turned out to be a massive pay cut. I averaged about 1300 for 80 hours with Paladin. I average 1000 for 84 hours, (at slightly higher pay), with TSM/Garda. I don't know who was using the wrong math but I much prefer Paladin's.



5. BRUTAL commute. Not your fault or Morguard's. But with the increased rent I now pay and the decreased salary I either stand out in the cold for at least half an hour or pay a much harder to endure taxi fare to get to work and back.



6. Differences in AHS, (and my), security philosophy and Morguard's security philosophy. I can't tell them how to run security, it's their building! But I've given you many examples of the conflicts that occur every single shift. There are many more. And I think this will only increase. I don't want to be there when that happens.



7. Contract and benefit deterioration. It just seems to be getting worse and I always have to wait a few months for it to do so.



8. Trust/stability issues with management. 11 days after I start, the company gets sold. Just over two months later I start hearing people saying, "Everybody is hired for all four sites," when during the application I heard, "Yes, SLP3 and 4 will be your primary site." I'm nervous about what will happen next.



9. Underappreciation of site specific knowledge and client service.



10. No Christmas party. Although Morguard's classy Safeway gift cert. was greatly appreciated.



11. Food being stolen from site fridge.



12. Personal card access refused to my worksite.



Okay, I'm sorry for making light but there are lots more little annoyances that contribute. I am sure there are plenty of better sites I could work at this time. In fact if it weren't for all the cool people I have met while working at SLP I might prefer almost anything else. I have already sent an email to Sandi telling her I would like to see some options that Garda has. If there are none at this time I am okay with that. I will land on my feet.



I have enjoyed my time at Southland Park and there are many things I will miss about it, God help me! But I just thought of a few extra reasons to leave in the time it took to type this! It's time I moved on. So Feb. 8th will be my last day. I'm not sure if I work it or not but that's when the two weeks will end. Hope things work out for everybody.



Cheers.


I can't believe I forgot to include the commitment to abysmal undertraining at the site. This always led to inconsistencies and they led to tenants' and clients' dissatisfaction, which in turn always led to guards being reprimanded and/or rudely bitched out for not doing the things they were not trained to do. But then again, you do things that are above and beyond, like my key/lock audit of both buildings I worked, and you get reprimanded and/or bitched out anyway. I went around to every door I could find and tried every key, fob, passcard I could find on it and recorded the results. The building tenants, (A.H.S. and Cenovus), were very happy I did that, thanked me and started working toward getting appropriate access for security where needed. Morguard represented by Melissa, strongly cautioned me against providing the information to the tenants and after I did anyway said, "Why did you do what I specifically told you NOT to do?" This is just one of many examples of #6.

But more has happened since. #3? It DID take two weeks for them to repay me the money they "forgot" to pay me. In essence I waited two weeks for them to give me my own money that they were withholding from me due to their incompetence. And surprise, surprise, it happened again. My final paycheck was supposed to be this past Friday. On it I was supposed to receive my holiday pay and about 200 bucks for uniform deposit. I have returned my uniform dry cleaned at my expense. In fact I talked to Geoff shortly before the previous paycheck and asked that my holiday pay and uniform deposit be included on THAT check. He was the one who told me to dry clean the uniform and that the holiday pay and deposit would be paid on the following check. Also I asked him about my record of employment during the same telephone conversation. I wish I had recorded that conversation. He told me that after my uniform was returned they would electronically submit my ROE to the Service Canada website. This way I could start my unemployment insurance claim. Well I got no paycheck Friday and the ROE that was submitted to Service Canada was incomplete. I sent Geoff an email asking him what was up and the following was his reply:

Hi Dave,


I’m sorry that I don’t know much about this. I will need to defer you to Brody and Simon regarding your questions. Guys, Dave resigned from TSM a short while ago. What is the status on his final payment and ROE?


Regards,


Geoffrey Crookes

Of course I had alerted him on payday, (Friday), and he waited just long enough to send this email so that I could not do anything about it for two more days on Monday. Who knows what will transpire then?

I guess I just didn't know the kind of crooks, (ar ar), I was working for. I am positive that he knows all there is to know about this. He is the one who submitted the wrong ROE specifically to delay my U.I. claim. It can't start until 1-28 days after the proper ROE is submitted by my last employer. Geoff DOES know about this. He's just doing his job. You should have seen his performance one day when he came to work to share the news of the guard rotation strategy. Lying right to my face thinking he's clever enough to sell the lies or I'm stupid enough to buy them. "This rotation strategy will be implemented so that there isn't so much dependence on the individual guards. It will improve security!" "Melissa and Ron didn't know of the plan when they said a week before it happened that they want you to work more hours in the other buildings. Then said, 'Ha ha! Just Kidding!'" He even told me there had been complaints about me talking bad about Melissa. Well that was true. I was. But never once did I say anything that was not true. So was it bad because I was saying it or because she just did bad things? He is supposed to be the employee representative. Without even considering that he actually went as far as to tell me to apologize to Melissa. First of all at LEAST as often as I badmouthed her I had other people at the site complaining to me about what a fucking bitch she is and I DEFENDED her on every occasion trying to do the professional thing. It was in confidence with co-workers that I said bad, and true things about her. She causes EVERYBODY including herself grief because of her attitude. She regularly get told to fuck off or go fuck herself by tenants, sometimes people in management of the businesses in the buildings. These things are not my fault. And Geoff should have been putting in SOME attempt at trying to support the employee rather than the money, er I mean the client.

I put in my request for transfer and Geoff lied again saying he'd look for a job for me or at least some shifts. My status was changed to "casual." But after he found me exactly zero hours of work in about three weeks I just quit. He actually tried to act like he didn't know I was hoping he would find me another site or some hours. "You mean you wanted me to look for hours for you???" "Yes, like you said you would and like I said I wanted. You even mentioned some ideas you had about working downtown. I said that would be good for me. You're saying you forget all this?" Then he had the nerve to think I'd believe him if he said he forgot but for sure he'd start looking THIS TIME. I actually found a job posting of Garda's, applied and got an interview ON MY OWN while he was pulling his pud. He still doesn't know about that. So I just quit. I have been replaced. By two people! Hah! Shows you how good I was. Also to put to rest the BS about the issue, during the time I worked weekends at SLP1 and 2 I just did a spectacular job. I was told that. And it was mostly my performance at SLP1 that was a contributor to this lame-ass rotation strategy. They have tried and failed miserably since I started full time, to find someone who is as good as me at writing out everyone's reports, answering calls, fielding complaints, watching site cams, being radio dispatch, being the epicentre of the building complex. They can't find anyone. Cuz it's a friggin hard job! And most of the people they get can't even get past the initial hurdle of language. But if they forced me to rotate, HEY they have me back again at SLP1. THAT is what is going on here and not a single person had the balls to tell me. They'd all rather lie because it's more professional. I guess I should have done a shitty job. What's the lesson here? As Homer says, "Don't like your job? Don't quit. Just do it half assed. It's the American way!" Calvin has a good take on this too:

Anyway, here I sit waiting, again, for them to give me money that is MINE that they are withholding allegedly because of their incompetence. I hope you can forgive me for being skeptical about this. I fully expect them to short change me on the uniform deposit and not refund me for dry cleaning or alterations, which they promised to do if receipts were provided and receipts were provided. They may try to pay me less than they should for holiday pay and I bet they will take the usual 29%+ off this check too even though I have pleaded with everybody I can for them NOT to do this. I am also waiting for Revenue Canada to send me all the info I need for my taxes for the last many many years. I am curious to see if the full amount of the money TSM SAYS was going to taxes actually WAS. I wouldn't put THAT past them either.

I apologize for the tedium of this post and don't expect there will be anyone who will read the entire thing through, but I am posting this for another reason: I want to have a complete history of what's been going on here for entertainment in the future and just in case I need it for quick reference. For example if U.I. rules against my claim and says I didn't have reason enough to quit. It's always fun to read about my struggles too. And while I'm in Jakarta having a blast and working a good job, it will be especially nice to read of the shit sandwiches I had to eat before I got it.

Anyhoo, if any of you were wondering why I'm going back overseas, this should clarify it a little bit. And there are plenty of things I have not included.

Bintaro Bound

There's a concept I remember from Psych 1100 called object permanence. If I recall correctly, (from googling it a minute ago), it's a child development concept associated with Jean Piaget. He believed that kids don't understand that when they can't observe something it has not completely ceased to exist. This might explain the enduring popularity of peekaboo amongst infants. By the time kids get through their sensorimotor stage, normally around two, they are believed to have figured out that things still exist when they can't be observed. I look around and see all kinds of signs that maybe some folks may not grasp the idea of object permanence until much later in life, if ever.

Ever watch Survivor? How long are contestants on that show away from home? 39 days at the longest. Most don't last a month. And I think it is usually before the 30 day mark that viewers have to suffer through the message from home and visit from friends and family episode. I like Survivor but I wish they would stop with this episode. People moan and groan and turn on the waterworks and fling themselves to the ground rending their garments and beating their chests crying out in anguish as though firy coals have been heaped upon them. Why? They haven't observed their loved ones or the comforts of home for like 27 days. And with the exaggerated displays that seem to get even more exaggerated every season, one would almost believe those people having lost sensory perception of the lives they had grown accustomed to, might think they had ceased to exist.

Am I wrong? Or is one man's comfortable sameness another man's insufferable rut? I've been home in Canada for three years now and from those first days blogging from the internet café in Smithers I've been promising to look at the positive things about Canada. Try to remind myself of all the things I can do here that I just can't in Korea. Walking on grass, eating all the foods I like, visiting with friends and family, playing hockey and baseball, fishing, golfing, cutting firewood with friends, drinking Canadian beer and watching Hockey Night in Canada... Now I look at that list and think, "How many of those things have I actually done?" How many can I afford to do? How many times have I had the free time and/or had friends who have the free time to do them? In fact if I had stayed employed in Korea and just came home for a vacation 3 times I could have done just as much or MORE of all of them except the food and beer. And to be honest, it wouldn't hurt me to eat less Canadian food and drink less Canadian beer.

Why has this been the case? It's partly because all the things I like to do in Canada went and got all expensive while I was away! And at the same time jobs went and got all cheap. I was stoked about my first job in Victoria paying 10 bucks and hour! What a great wage! I thought. But it was poverty wages. I worked a straight year of midnight shifts, a great way to limit your social life, and never had the time or money to do much of anything. Because if you're me and are just what Canadian employers are NOT looking for, you have to work you damn ass off to have barely enough money to do even some of these things. And then you may not have the free time or the energy. Same exact thing goes for the people with whom I want to DO all of these things. And what are we all working our asses off for? What is all this leading up to? A HOUSE! That's the dream, isn't it? That's been MY goal for years. A house that costs us so much in mortgage payments and upkeep that we hibernate inside and come out even LESS.

What I'm saying is it almost appears that Canadians have become much more comfortable in their sameness. They go to Tim Horton's at exactly the same time, order exactly the same coffee, get the exact same greeting and return the exact same greeting, take the same route to work, do the same shit at work, maybe eat something different for lunch to put some spice in their lives, get home at the same time, watch the same shit on TV, go to bed at the same time. And for one or two weeks a year they go to Puerto Vallarta and do something different. But boy they are glad to be back! They really REALLY missed their couch and TV and friends and maybe their pets or even kids SOOOOOO much, that it's almost as if they believed they had all ceased to exist.

Now I know this is exaggeration. For some more massive than others. For many it might only be a small exaggeration. But I don't think it's really Canadians' fault. I think it's our culture. It's in a rut. People don't socialize, visit, play sports, or just hang out as much as they did last time I lived here and MUCH less than they did when I was young. Even kids don't play outside. We've all seen the TV ads about this. It has a lot to do with the fact that we have electronics in our homes that make it so much easier to avoid socializing, but I don't think that's the only excuse. You probably know where I'm going with this. It's where I go with EVERYTHING! Doesn't mean it's wrong or I'm a conspiracy theorist. Hey, what would you prefer for a worker if you ran a large corporation, an adventurous soul who mountain bikes with buddies, white water rafts, heli skis in the winter, is constantly putting himself out there in harm's way because he likes the rush of living life to the fullest or a homebody who takes no risks and you always know where he's going to be? There are ways of transforming your workers into the latter, the ideal employees. Make sports and all social activities really expensive, make healthy food really expensive and fast food really cheap, make home versions of everything you can think of and invent ways to buy everything without leaving home, make that home so ridiculously expensive that you feel that to get a fraction of your money's worth you should probably only leave it when absolutely necessary. You get the idea. Make things exactly the way they are in Canada.

I am going to Indonesia. Not only because I am bored to tears in Canada but because I pictured myself living life here in Canada the way I live life when I'm overseas. But it sure hasn't worked out that way. If I had a better job, more time and more money it might be different but I just have to wake up and smell the Tim Horton's coffee, that's not going to happen for me in Canada. When I get to Indonesia I have already decided to look for a place in Bintaro where my friend Annemarie lives. I'm sure she'll be more than happy to squire me about the little town of Jakarta and I tell you, she is a fantastic cook! I just know she'll make some Indonesian green curry or something like that as a welcome back to Asia meal. The place I'm going to work has many other teachers and I will find a few, or maybe more than a few, who enjoy doing things like hiking up volcanos, scuba diving, snorkeling, island hopping, searching the jungle for Komodo Dragons, and enjoying everything there is to enjoy in Indonesia. And there is a LOT to enjoy there! When I'm not exploring a jungle somewhere I'll be visiting a friend's place or maybe entertaining friends at MY place. Something I have done a total of two times in my three years in Canada.

I have heard that I can get a VERY nice place in Indonesia for 400 bucks a month. You get a shit hole with bedbugs in Canada for that. I get a back yard, swimming pool, maid service, gardener, driver, two bedroom air conditioned HOUSE in Indonesia for that.

And the work! So much more interesting than what I've been doing in Canada! I'll have students who are movers and shakers in Indonesia. People who you read about in newspapers or see on TV. Not all but some. I will have the freedom to teach the way I want to teach. I will have a job that is rewarding. And something that I talked to my Mom about last night on the phone that is very important to me, and we reckon should be more important to everybody in a position to do so, I will be able to HELP people. When I have my life under control I think it's a great joy to be able to help other people. I have done none of that in Canada because my life has been out of control for three years.

When I bring up the possibility of going overseas I make people in Canada cringe and make the sucking noise and squinty eyes at how dangerous, different, out of the ordinary that will be. "Are you sure you want to take that chance?" Folks I am sure I want to take this chance and what's more it may sound cold but I won't be missing my bed, my TV, my friends and family like I think they have all been wiped from the face of the Earth. They'll all be there when I get back. Something one of my fellow world traveling friends posted on facebook the other day makes a lot of sense to me: "In life you can choose to have things or you can choose to have experiences." She went on to say that we've been so programmed to believe we need a house, SUV, big screen TV etc. but in their final days nobody ever talks about their TV reception or the really great double double they got one morning at Timmy's, they talk about things they did. I'm just not DOing anything in Canada. I'm not making enough memories. I've had some good times. Visiting with family has been fun, camping, Rob and Terri's wedding, seeing Kiss, Sabrina and Dan's wedding, cards at Jamie and Colleen's, fishing a few times, helping people move, (yes those are always good memories for me!), chicken wing nights, but in three years I could have done so much more! It's about time for me to get outta here before my body completely forgets how to produce adrenalin.

If all goes as planned I will be on a plane by late March or early April. I really don't think anybody will notice much of a difference while I'm in Jakarta except me. I know there will be things I won't like. The heat, humidity, mosquitos, giant metropolis life, wearing a tie to work, but overall I think it's going to be a whole lot better.

So now I have a TON of paperwork and tedious straightening away to do before I go. I think the worst of that will be trying to get my taxes figured out. But I will not be surprised to have all of that done by the end of this month. Then I'm Bintaro bound baby!