Monday, July 25, 2016

One Camp Down and One To Go

Well the sticky, slimy, disgusting Korean summer is here. The best thing I have found in my many years over here to be doing at this time, is getting the hell out of this country for at least a month, preferably a couple. It's unbearable for people who LIKE summer. Then there's me. I curse the heat, the humidity, the mosquitos, the rain and the endless battle to get a good night's sleep. But I have to say, along with some other people, who warily commented on this to me lest we jinx it, the mosquitos have not been that bad this year. The heat? It's been relentless. The humidity? Like ballsack sweat in the air. But the mosquitos have been conspicuously absent. I think the foggers have been working overtime due to the nationwide Zikaphobia. Yeah, every city has foggers. It's one of the few loud noises coming from the Korean streets that I actually like. Much like the sound of a bug zapper going off, you just KNOW the very loud drone of the fogger that you can hear a few blocks before it gets to you and a few blocks after it passes, means the death of blood-sucking vermin. Not long ago I remember kids riding their bikes and running behind those foggers cheering and whooping it up. I share the sentiment with those kids, just not the desire to inhale the toxic chemicals. You know, those kids I saw back in the day... they're working age now. Perhaps running hagwons and putting English camps together. Maybe even heading up the English departments of universities. Hmmmm... That could explain a lot...

Another thing I like to do, if the money, or the vacation time isn't there, is the wonderfully lucrative Korean summer camps. I remember camps of days gone by in which I met some awesome friends and worked for some awesome people and grew very close to some awesome students. The work was endless. Not a moment to yourself, but the afterglow when you finished was similar to what I imagine opening night on Broadway might feel like. Worked and worked and worked; had setbacks but pulled together as a team to overcome them; pulled off the impossible in a challenging timeframe; rescheduled; dealt with little emergencies; had disagreements; made up; re-rescheduled; had a visit from the regional supervisor who mandated NEW challenges; got the kids to co-operate and finish their projects; re-re-rescheduled at the last minute; impressed the parents; had a nice celebratory night, (usually around a campfire), with director and teachers; muddled through the farewell ceremony with a bit of a hangover; and finally were rewarded with a bulging envelope of money.

Well, just like my experience with hagwon teaching over here, things have changed at the camps. Where to begin? So many differences! I guess first things first, the method of getting chosen for the camps has changed somewhat. It used to require an interview, but now there are highly organized online application processes, which, if passed, are followed by visits to schools to be interviewed by panels of camp aficionados, followed in turn by sample lessons that are sprung on the teacher with little to no time for preparation. I had one interview, oh so many years ago, for a camp that consisted of the director, Mr. Lee, asking me what I would like for the camp and me replying, half seriously, "I dunno. Beer every night?" We GOT beer every night. Flats of it! None of it went to waste mind you! And it was probably the best camp I ever did! I heard later that Mr. Lee took some flack for the beer budget but the camp was a huge success so he didn't get punished.

The camp I just finished, no meetings before or after. No socializing during the camp time either. I don't know a thing about the people I worked with. It was only one week, but at the beer camp I was just describing, after a week I could tell you the reason they were there; their dreams, hopes and aspirations; their first sexual experiences; their nicknames; past lovers by whom they were jilted; waist sizes; toothpaste preferences; Saturday morning cartoon theme songs they know; scars, emotional and physical; locker combinations; banking PIN numbers; communist sympathies; past crimes; their favourite drinks, foods, sports, hobbies, breakfast cereals... I could tell you much of the life history of all the main teachers, helpers and administrators. Needless to say, I like the old way better. At least on this point.

What else? Well once you GET the job, and to toot my own horn here, TOOT, I'm pretty good at these things so I get the ones I apply to, you get reams of paper describing the things that will be happening during the camp. This past camp I got reams of paper written in Korean describing what would be happening, but it didn't matter to me because I know that there is no amount of planning that will overcome the basic need for improvisation at these things. It's what Koreans are worst at and it's where I shine. So while people were stressing about schedules and details, I was stresslessly saying to myself, and actually to other camp staff, "We'll just end up going with the flow." And, as always, we did. So I guess that's one for the NOT changed side of the board. I don't think these things will ever be planned enough to where everything goes off without a hitch. The camp I just finished wanted me to take care of the pool activities. Well half the things that were planned were impossible to carry out because of campers' heights vs. the depth of the pool, the campers' swimming abilities, faulty supplies, weather, hot deck outside the pool, slippery deck outside the pool, and just the pounding rays of the sun. But I expected that sort of thing. I have to brag a bit and say that I took the supplies they had purchased and threw together several pretty good last minute ideas that were fun for the kids. A couple of other people had some good ideas and some of my ideas were not used. That's just the way these things go. And that's not likely to change.

So another difference: At these camps, teachers/counselors like me are no longer living with the kids; putting the kids to bed; eating with the kids; 24/7. I went to the camp from about 8:20 to 1:00 every day. I didn't sleep in the dorms with the kids or tuck them in at night or anything like that. I didn't help them get ready in the mornings. The parents did all that. It was a much less intimate experience with the campers, the same as it was with the co-workers. Again, I have to say I like the old way better on this point.

And then, the bane of my existence, immigration. Huge difference! The old camps, I'd just get a little letter of permission from my employer, or nothing at all and we'd just do it all under the table in cash, and Bob's our Uncle. Now! I STILL don't understand the best way to go about doing these camps. I suppose having a job where your employer allows you to do camps is one way to go. But now there are these F visas and people who are Korean, but not Korean doing all the jobs foreigners used to do. They are living in the U.S. but are summering in Korea to make some money for tuition at college. That's an instant F-something visa and you can write your ticket. For a guy like me who used to be the preferred camp teacher, it was not so easy. I had to first get permission from an employer, and if you go way back into the archives of this blog, you'll see that that is not always easily acquired. Then you needed to get a written letter of permission. After that it was pretty simple: you gave that letter to the camp and they did all the immigration work because they speak Korean and they have little to no problem at the immigration office or with the immigration technology. NOWadays it's a whole new ball game! I still needed a letter of permission from my boss but the camps have told me to go to immigration myself. I had to call the immigration number, 1345, and get the proper information that they want on the letter of permission. Then I had to fill it in and get my boss to fill it in. THEN, and this is the difference, I, EYE, AYE, I had to do the immigration work. Oh, and it just flows off the keyboard as I type it, but it's not as easy as all that, let me tell you! You'd think that all I would have to do is just waltz into the immigration office, take a number, wait and then give somebody my alien card, camp contract, and letter of permission so they know what I'm up to. NOOOOOOOO! That's the kind of thing that Korean immigration has NEVER trafficked in: simplicity. No, I have to first call the number. And I have to say, the person on the 1345 line was very helpful, spoke great English and told me all I needed to do as though it were humanly possible, bless her. She probably thinks it is. The fact is, I have to make an appointment before going into the immigration office and letting them know I'll be teaching a camp. She just threw the HiKorea website at me and told me to make an appointment as though it were something the immigration department of this country hadn't hired the most diabolical minds available to make as demoralizing as possible.

I still think there may be a way, but not if you don't speak Korean. And not if you don't download a few invasive Korean computer jacking programs that are necessary to navigate this site. I actually accessed the site from Canadian Google and was given a warning that the site where we have to register and make appointments for immigration matters in Korea was DANGEROUS to my computer! And, yeah, I go on there and it's asking me to install "Active X" and some keyboard program. Every time I x them out they pop up again and then notices telling me that Windows has blocked these programs from popping up come up too. So basically, I'm two days away from starting a camp and thanks to Korean Immigration ingenuity, I am unable to do the legal thing and give them the letter of permission I have for this camp. The same thing happened for the last camp. I gave the director my letter toward the end of the camp and I suppose he will give it to immigration. I don't know if the same will need to happen with this next camp at Konkuk University or not. Probably. As far as I'm concerned I've done my due diligence. If the inspectors come around the camp and ask why I'm there, I will have my letter of permission. That's the best I'll be able to do. Gee, I wonder if this is exactly the situation Korean Immigration was wanting to fabricate. They will say I should have made an appointment. I will say it was impossible. They will question my computer skills and slap a hefty fine on me for flouting the Korean legal system. Don't scoff. It's happened to me here before.

I've told the camp supe about my struggles. We'll see what we can do...

And there is still another difference. As already described, I used to love that fat wad of cash at the end of the camp! Now the Korean 50,000 won bill, (where the largest used to be the 10,000), has thinned some of those fat wads, but not only that: camps have for some reason, and through some clandestine wheeling and dealing, made it pretty much a standard thing to keep the camp workers waiting for their money. This first camp said in their contract that I will have to wait up to 10 days for payment. We all know that means 10 days. And this next camp, at a MAJOR university here in Korea, where university is EXPENSIVE, have written into their contract that payment will be within a month of the end of camp. No big, bulging envelopes at the end of camps any more. I had to do some solid thinking on this and I can't come up with a good reason why this new fad would be! Oh I can come up with a few BAD reasons... But that's Korea. One person waives payment for a week after camp and the teachers, who have limited visitation times, return to their countries unpaid, and suddenly EVERYBODY want to pull THAT scam. So a MAJOR University like Konkuk decides they will pay their workers a month after they're finished. That's a LONG time. Why? They can't afford it? A big university like that? No, it's just that everything is done the most corrupt way possible and every year comes with new and improved methods of screwing other people. I've probably missed a few since I've been away.

The wad of cash is not as big as it once was either. I remember when a million a week was pretty standard at these camps. Now I see some paying a million for THREE weeks. It's happening with ALL jobs in the ESL racket over here. People are getting chincier and chincier. Longer hours. 30 hours a week is the norm now. For ages here 20 was considered the absolute max. Vacation time is down to 10 days when the minimum used to be a month. The standard job here is basically a screw job. But I guess people keep taking them.

And speaking of getting screwed, if you are with me in Korea or in a country to which this:

absolute crap is exported, DON'T BUY IT! I can not stress that strongly enough. Spaghetti is my favourite food and while in Korea I have suffered through some awfully weak attempts at Koreanizing the centuries old art of making spaghetti sauce, but I have always made it through. None were hideous enough that I couldn't finish. None that I can recall at any rate. But THIS stuff! I added good meat, spices and veggies to this sewage. What a complete waste! I had to scrape it all into the toilet. I'm not kidding. Absolutely horrendous! I had the garlic and onion kind. I have to believe the other kinds couldn't be worse, so I won't condemn the entire line of products, but I've been so violated by the one kind, I'm scared to try the others. Yes, violated. When you buy something that says it's spaghetti sauce, you expect something that tastes at least a little bit like spaghetti sauce. Folks, I've had ketchup on spaghetti many times. I don't hate it! But this red dyed baboon mucous is the worst thing I've tasted in a long time.

I remember back in the day in Korea when I used to have a lot of food surprises like this. The cheese that was actually made from carrots. The hamburger buns that turned out to be filled with brown bean paste. The tomato that turned out to be a persimmon. Those are funny stories. This one is not funny. It's tragic. I wasted food and money because of that imposter sludge. It's about 4 bucks a jar too. Only a bit cheaper than REAL spaghetti sauce. I admit, I was penny pinching. I'll buy the stuff I trust next time. The place still reeks of that pseudo Italian sludge. YUCK!

Anyhoo, here's:

the group from the Seoul Club camp. I really enjoyed that camp! The kids were pretty good and the co-workers were too. I hope it's the same at Konkuk. Okay from top left going left to right, top to bottom, Patrick (student helper. 3rd year doing this camp), Me. 2nd row: Yoon, Zoe, Sophie, Eyad, Lizzy (NYU student and registered hotty), Ye Weon, KC/Casey (Head teacher). Bottom row: Jaimie (from Vancouver! My fellow Canuck), Hee Weon (Ye Weon's sister), Sun Hoong, Jad (Eyad's brother), Lushin.

They were fun, but I wish I had the chance to get to know them all better.

Anyway, on to Konkuk. (I hope)


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