Happy Thanks-stealing 2020!

 What a BONKERS year! Here I sit after about 5 hours of sleep wide awake 4 hours before I have to teach my first class of the day. The old dilemma of should I try to stay awake or should I go back to bed is the least of my woes this morning. We had a confirmed case on campus. Also, I had a student who got tested for Covid and was absent the next class. No word on whether he tested positive or is just quarantining to be on the safe side. Possible contact with Covid? Who knows? I'll be the last to be sure. I'm actually surprised at the reaction of management. Or the NON-reaction as it were. I thought there'd be a precautionary round of mandatory Covid tests, but no. I thought at least I would have to get tested, but not as yet. THIS time I'd not only do a test, but I'd welcome one (that I didn't have to pay for). The reason I say that is a bit of a meander, but I have a spare four hours so...

Back to last weekend. I enjoyed the birthday of a young sport named Roman who I've grown quite fond of over the years the Peet/Spiwaks and I have spent together in Korea. This is "The Fam"

They're my favourite reality show of all time. Heather, on the left, was the first one I met in the midst of my second year in Korea. Or was it my third? Anything before 2000, and a good deal after, is fuzzy for me. It's a good thing I have Heather to remember those years for me! We worked at Pagoda in Seoul in '98 and '99 probably. I'll confirm with her this weekend... possibly. Getting ahead of myself.

Roman is the tall drink of water center back. Almost as tall as Mike. Maybe he IS by now. This pic was taken when they were younger, although, as one of my favourite comedians, who left us too soon, Mitch Hedberg, would point out, EVERY picture of them was taken when they were younger. Ken (Pap) and Kathleen (Oma), Heather's folks complete the back row. They have visited Korea several times and I feel like they're almost part of our family. Ar ar. The front row left to right is Kelly, Iryna and Reilly.

So we spent Roman's birthday, last Saturday, playing games in their house in Pyeongtaek. We played Coup, Exploding Kittens and Yahtzee. Roman has been notoriously socially distant since the whole Covid thing, so I thought I'd scare him by saying I was going to give him a big kiss for his birthday. Not that he's been unsociable, just careful. He hasn't come with us yet on our semi-regular Sunday outings for Korean feastage. Usually sam gyup sal and kalbi (BBQ) but last time dalk kalbi (spicy chicken mix). We've been packing up leftovers we saved for Roman and taking them home. Anyway, I got him a mini humidifier in the shape of a Hershey's Kiss... to his great relief. 

Sunday morning I commented that I must have slept well, because when I sleep well, I snore, and my throat was sore. Not the throat really, but that taint of skin between the throat and nose that's neither and both at the same time. Sunday was pretty low key. I didn't mind missing our feast, most likely because of the bottle of vodka I drank during game night. We lounged and played a few more games during the day. Had pizza instead of Korean and then Mike drove me home. I live in Cheonan, not far from Pyeongtaek by car, but I can't figure out how to go from my place to theirs in less than two hours. So Mike often picks me up and drives me home. We have great conversations (about Trump and sometimes other stuff) on the way. It's a thousand times nicer than taking public transit home! Mike should probably be president really.

So Monday rolls around and I still have the tickle in my throat. But not enough to stop me from getting a lot of marking done and working out. I do aerobics and push-ups and some weights in my apartment. The next day, Tuesday, my longest day (3 two-hour classes back to back to back) the ague took hold. I still had the sore throat, but wasn't coughing. I had a runny nose, sniffles, sneezing, nose blowing and an annoying as all get out leaking eye! NEVER had that before! My right eye, just the one, kept overflowing. I was wiping it constantly during my classes, hoping my students wouldn't think I was getting emotional about tag questions and present perfect verb tense. Six straight hours of Zoom is harsh at the best of times, but I was never happier than Tuesday at 4:30ish when I finished that day!

I made a stirfry and other than a couple of oranges and a lot of liquids, that was all I ate that day. Around 6 o'clock. I was exhausted, but because I get hungry again before I start to digest any meal (which leads to my constant reflux) I stayed up as late as I could hoping I could get a little sleep. I knew that'd be asking too much. I even had a hot lemon cold drink, (ha ha - didn't realize when I was writing that - I mean, of course a hot in temperature cold and flu drink) Theraflu, in hopes of stopping the nose from running and knocking me out for at least a couple of hours. Well it did. For a couple of hours. The rest of the night was spent tossing, turning, blowing nose, tossing, turning, blowing nose, tossing, turning, blowing nose. I was a dehydrated, stuffed up mess in the morning with the added symptom of both ears starting to ache. 

I get colds every year in Korea. I remember, even without asking Heather, that in my first year here I had 9 colds! It's all the contact and all the extra people. But that night I had WILD dreams, even when I nodded off for a few seconds! I was startling myself awake with the crazy dreams and with shortness of breath. I dreamt once that night that I was playing NFL football and was at the bottom of a gang tackle. I could still breathe but just barely. Then someone (I think it was William The Refrigerator Perry but who knows with MY dreams?) shifted and my whole face was smothered in flab. I couldn't breathe. I woke up gasping for breath, blew my clogged nose, took a leak, hawked a smoked oyster into the toilet and went back to bed. Not back to sleep. It was like that all night so by the end of the night, the inevitable thought that was startling me awake was, "Do I have Covid?!"

I'm lucky my classes on Wednesday don't start until 1:00 because it took me the whole night and all morning to get enough sleep, a little at a time, to tackle the day. Just barely enough. I felt, and looked like shit. But I sneezed, sniffled and blew my nose all the way through my 4 hours of classes Wednesday. I didn't eat much that day. Just leftover stirfry and oranges. Some nuts. I decided that if I felt crappy the next day, I'd get checked for Covid. But I got up for my 9 AM class feeling fine! Not much of a runny nose and no runny eye. No cough and, aided by another cup of Theraflu, a nice sleep. I finished classes at 3 and went downtown to get some groceries. Then I got home and WORKED OUT! I was LOADED with energy!

SO weird! A 48-hour flu? This morning I'm coughing, but not from a cold, just my requisite morning reflux coughing. My nose isn't running and I don't have that stuffed head feeling. At least no more than usual. I don't feel quite as good as yesterday, but I haven't showered or had breakfast yet. Just a coffee and a lemon tea. I really think I could go to the Thanksgiving soiree at the Fam's place tomorrow if it happens.

Part II of the drama. I messaged Heather and told her of my suffering saying I was not sure if it's be such a good idea for me to go to what they call "Friendsgiving." They do it every year and, God bless Heather and Mike, they make a lot of people, including me, feel a lot better with their awesome Thanksgiving turkey spreads every year! The friends and the taste of home are always a highlight of the year. BUT, this is 2020 in' it? 

This was on their poster for this year, and they're already listing the recommended use of masks, 6 feet of separation, glove usage etc. that the military suggest. The US military could even raise the threat level from Bravo to Charlie, then NObody'd be able to go anywhere! So it's by no means a certainty this year. But what HAS been? 

And on top of all that, when I chatted with Heather, she told me they all have colds too! Apparently, Iryna brought home a cold and shared it generously. When I was at their place last weekend I joked that their upcoming Thanksgiving party was sure to be a super-spread! Little did I know... With over 300 cases Tue and Wed, and 553 yesterday in Korea, the spike is affecting everyone! I was going to buy a burger at McDonald's yesterday and they stopped me at the door and asked for my passport! 

I won't be surprised if 2020 is a year without a Friendsgiving. Another thing Covid has ripped us off of this year. Although I have much to be thankful for this year, I'll be most thankful about this year being put behind us, Thanksgiving party or not. Happy Thanksstealing I guess. 

Cockamamie Pile of Malarkey!

 Back to the Trump bashing I guess.

Watch that video all the way to the end. See if it doesn't put you in mind of a certain electile dysfunctional orange hued loser. Eh? Socrates pointed out the biggest flaw in democracy way back when it began in ancient Greece. It took the world a couple millennia and a half to "elect" the apotheosis of Socrates' democratic nightmare. I'm sure you can recall the following illustration of it:

The above video has to be my favourite in a LONG time! It's just dripping with delicious irony! Right from the start when it includes a pic of Xi Jinping in front of the Parthenon when the narrator says, "So many leaders of democracies like to be photographed there." The Adeimantus argument that allowing the uneducated anywhere near a vote is irresponsible, well can we think of any better timing for that argument? And I don't need to mention, but I will, the "trumped up charges" and uneducated jurists that tragically brought about the execution by poison of the greatest thinker of his time! Democracy by birthright, not intellect, leads to demagoguery. Again, you'd be hard-pressed to come up with a better example than the douche nozzle in chief. The example of Alcibiades, apart from his military talents, is once again apropos exploiting the desire of the people for easy answers. But the best, and most delicious, part of the video is the sweet shop owner running against the doctor in the election saying how the doctors (and by extension nurses) hurt you, give you bitter potions and tell you not to eat whatever you want. I will serve you feasts of sweet and delicious things you want to eat! The doctors' argument that the bitter pill was offered to HELP the ignorant masses, Socrates rightly conjectured, would have about as much success as the above pictured nurse's argument that, "While I agree with your assertion that we are in the land of the free, we are also the home of the brave. It's not brave to go maskless, it's irresponsible, and, yes, stupid." The, "you're stupid" argument, though precise and accurate, has grown less effective over time and may actually serve to strengthen the unfounded resolve of the ignorant. 

Here's a good series of 4 (maybe more to come) videos called, "WTF is wrong with Trump supporters?" Even if I type exactly that into Google, or YouTube, these vids don't come up. I had to include oo7 warrior, the poster, before I could hunt them down. Watch all four. You'll STILL get only a tiny cross-section of the millions of Trump supporters, but Socrates accurately measured the pulse of the ignorant masses in Greece long before the internet and mass media. I think we can all do the same today. This is fucking scary!

Two things I've said before: 1. Smart phones and social media are making people stupider and less socially skilled. 2. The stupid are becoming more sensitive about their stupidity and the "Not Me" generation has taught them that they never have to be accountable for it, rather, they can double down, dig in their heels and spin lies and mythology to justify it in their weakened minds. And while doing so, they become more and more defensive and ANGRY. And as this happens, they become ever more attached to their leader and skilled at blocking any logic that would discourage this angry loyalty.

There are over 73 million Americans that voted for Trump. How many of them are like the group in Texas saying that all Trump needs to do is give the word and they'll take up arms? What's going to happen SOON when the unemployment benefits run out? The second relief/stimulus package has been continually blocked and the first one was largely stolen by corporations. Trumpists are upset that their hero lost the election and further upset by the "restrictions to their freedom" the Coronavirus has led to. They continue to ignore the obvious parallels to the 1918 Spanish Flu that was only successfully defeated by overcoming the identical ignorance. Forcibly! Trump mocks mask wearing and the results are obvious, deadly and worsening.

Trump's DOJ sent a request to congress in October to suspend the rules of habeas corpus, which could only expedite a transition into an overt police state. He recently asked about his options on an Iran attack. This supposed great deal maker just can't seem to DEAL with the fact that the election loss is one problem in his life he won't be able to sue his way out of. This is good in a way because what will he set his sights on when he finally gives that shit up? Chilling to think!

I hope the U.S. can some how convince Trumpomania that they need to educate themselves and that their dear leader is frightened of nothing more. That is the very reason for his oft used, "fake news" defense. For a group of people so sensitive about people thinking they're stupid, it only supports that argument that they haven't yet realized their leader is the person who thinks they are the stupidest. He says, "fake news" because he doesn't want you reading the news intelligently. He doesn't want you to and doesn't trust you to. He thinks you're too stupid. And stupid enough to fall for the gambit. Either way, to an intelligent person, NO news is fake news. You can read anything with the knowledge of prevailing biases and get information, ACCURATE information, out of it. Trump doesn't want his supporters to know that and/or doesn't think they're capable of doing that. Hence: "fake news." 

But, like many phenomenally spurious defenses the average Trumpy mentality consists of, the "fake news" ploy goes unchallenged. It makes one wonder if the whole works of them really ARE stupid. 73 million plus? Can't be! No way! Really? You think? I just can't believe that. 

In fact, I can't believe there REALLY were that many votes for Trump. He strikes me now as a guy who is not complaining about an election loss, but a guy who tried to cheat on the election and STILL lost! Why, oh WHY would we not be absolutely SURE of that? What in his life has he NOT cheated at? I think all the cheating methods he is outlining and suing to search for, are things that HE employed himself. And STILL LOST! We're already starting to find evidence, in fact the ONLY evidence found so far of voter fraud, of that. When he called two people in Michigan who had previously certified the results, and they immediately seek to UNcertify their votes, that's not only pretty fucking obvious, it's a violation of the Hatch Act. Trump should get his "election attorneys" to look THAT up. By the way, were election lawyers a thing before this con man, this sweet shop owner bumblefucked his way into the White House? 

Anyway, like Rudy, the head "election lawyer" on his staff, I was bursting with all this shit and just had to let it leak out. Rudy wants 20 grand a day? Get the money up front you dipshit! If not, you'll just be sued later. Hey, maybe the Don will get you to sue yourself! 

What a cockamamie, steaming pile of malarkey!  Leastaways, that's what I reckon.

Half a Mutiny

 I think it's high time for me to get off the Trump bashing and onto something,,, ANYthing else here. How'd you like that triple comma? It's a new punctuation technique I'm trying to make happen. I call it,,, what else???, the tricomma. It's for a pause longer than a comma pause, a,,, pregnant pause if you will. One in which the writer might be searching for his/her next word. Or when the writer has found the absolute perfect word and wants to pause for emphasis just that little bit longer. I think you might see it again.

Today, I'm up late. Even though it's my earliest morning of the week tomorrow. I'm having my second beer too, even though I hadn't planned on having ANY beer tonight. I actually went out and got this beer at 10 PM, a time when I'm usually either finishing a movie or TV show, or hitting the hay. Not today folks. No, today I figured I'd be efficient and mark some of my midterm exams. That's what had me so angrily soliloquizing, I had to sit down and blog it out or I'd be up till 4 tossing and turning. As it is I'll be up till 3, but at least I'll be sitting upright, therapeutically writing all this down. It's how I save marbles. And years of life. The beer is the way I destroy my marbles and shave off years, so it all evens out I reckon. 

What, you may ask, could my beloved students have done to get me angrily soliloquizing? See, I live alone. There's nobody to downgrade my angry soliloquies to stifled murmurs. No wife, no kids, no pets, I don't care if the neighbours hear. They probably think I'm video chatting or talking on the phone or maybe even teaching a late Zoom class. I've been outlining to the gods everything I did to explain to my students their midterm group video projects (to the absolute HILT) for over an hour now! And I grow further and further away from any compassionate empathy, and closer to just giving all these boneheads zeros. Oh, nooooo, I can't do that! And actually I see the effort some of them put in and think, maybe they GENUINELY didn't understand! But it's so implausible as to make a mockery of my kindness. Indeed,,, I believe that's precisely what most, if not all of my students who messed this exam up, were trying to do.

The very first day of classes, I gave every one of them a syllabus that included all the assignments, homework, tests, grading, topics, everything they could ever want to know about this class. I went through it with them. When we reached the midterm exam, I told them it was a group video project and that they would probably have fun with it. My students from the previous semester said it was actually fun for them. I then,,, I'm not making this up, SHOWED them one of the best videos that had been made by some of my students from the previous semester as a group project video. It featured a student happily skipping to our university to meet his new classmates. The narrator said how happy he was. There was happy music and some graphics that made him look ecstatic. Then suddenly grey clouds, lightning, and thunder. COVID! No face-to-face classes. The student slouched and turned around to slowly walk home with sad music playing and the narrator explaining how he had looked forward to meeting his classmates but was now disappointed. I explained that the target vocabulary was feelings like happy and disappointed. I also drew attention to the verb tense, which was the target English grammar for the chapter they were illustrating. I said I wanted everyone to do their midterms just like that.

Then assignment one rolled around. It was a 30-second video commercial. Make a TV ad with your group describing your product using the grammar (adjectives) and target language in the chapter. I made a point of telling every class that this was practice for their midterm video group projects. Their midterms were to be exactly the same thing, only longer. Most of them did okay with the assignment. A couple made ads for things you'd never see ads for like guitars or oranges but most were find and even the guitar and oranges ads were using the language I wanted them to in a role play that demonstrated target language usage. 

I assigned the midterm to every one of my 10 classes explaining it to the hilt and asking if they all understood and inviting them to ask questions if they didn't. I uploaded the assignment in which I explained it one last time saying I wanted them to show me what they've learned so far. 5 units, 5 people per group. Maybe each person should be in charge of one unit. I told them to do what they wanted. I said I'd be looking for them to use the grammar and vocabulary we learned in each unit and for good teamwork. My final words were, "have fun." 

What did I get?

Can you beleee dat shit? Most of the pics, graphics and "vocaburary" were taken directly from the text. Basically, "Here's what you taught us, we learned it, TRUST US." Virtually half of my students did this! I have to believe it was a well organized attempt at the customary Korean gullibility gauge they so often subject the new, foreign teacher to. Mutinous little shits. You know, to see what they can get away with. So I couldn't very well let them get away with it, could I?

So, because I'm so nice, I didn't give them all zeroes, I gave them an extra week and uploaded a video explaining the old, "I don't want you to list the parts of the bicycle, I want you to show me how well you can ride it" speech. I guess it worked. All but one group RE-submitted their videos. What they don't know, however, is the groups who got it right the first time had it marked out of 30. The ones who did it wrong the first time had a max of 25. A couple of them actually GOT the 25 too! But it would have been 30 if they'd followed instructions and didn't try to do it the lazy way. Some of my fellow teachers think I went easy on them. I probably did.

I have finally marked all the vids, almost a month after they were assigned, but I'm still dealing with the students who expend MUCH more effort wheeling and dealing for higher grades than they did making a video that would GET them a high grade. I've found after a coupla decades teaching ESL, mostly in Korea,,, it's par for the course. 

I WILL add that their most recent assignments have been excellently done!