It's week 8 (the last week) of my 7th course in my master's degree and here's how I'm feeling:
In the immortal words of Inigo Montoya, "Let me splain. No, is too much. Let me sum up." This week's topic was technology in education. If ever you want to see an overblown, overpromoted, bandwagon to jump on, plus an easy week for almost every course of the 7 courses I've taken so far, it's technology and how it's the wave of the future in education. Well, as one of the sources we read THIS WEEK included in its well-written wisdom, "Technology in education is the revolution that has been just around the corner for decades and it's still just around the corner." We have started just saying it has arrived in education programs and TED Talks and academically influential places, ostensibly in hopes of hastening it, but realistically classrooms have not kept up with the technological revolution outside the classrooms and there are good reasons why. I am getting a little tired of reading about and hearing about how the reason schools are not fully high-tech already is slow-to-adapt teachers. Teachers who are used to the old ways. Teachers who are uncomfortable with change. That has not been my experience personally, nor have I seen these Luddite teachers. The teachers I know are trying hard to implement technology, we just haven't found it to be superior in many ways. That's all. We are not in need of "professional development."
How many ways has the underappreciated teacher been patronized, disrespected, and (fake well) underappreciated? I HATE that I get jobs all the time (like the one I'm doing now) that require professional training because there are job duties that the worker needs to understand that could be incredibly important, but management says, "Ahh we'll just let the workers we've hired do the training. How hard can teaching be?" I can't tell you all the crucial parts of my training at this job, and many others, my trainers have neglected to teach me. Now this may not just be oversight or bad teaching, it can sometimes be that they don't WANT to lose their indispensability by teaching another worker something the company depends on only them to know. It's a common problem in security. "When this alarm goes off we have to call so and so cuz she's the only one who knows what to do." This is not a joke. Can you see how stupid that is? But it happens. A LOT of places settle for bad training.
Then I see this crap about technology being slowed in education because the teachers just don't understand education. That burns my arse! When will these asshole administrators start trusting the teachers and stop making them beg for their doggie treats and say, "Yes, master. We LOVE computers in our classrooms. We love tablets and smartphones. They are NOT distractions! We never have tech problems. Technology is superior, dependable, and better than us mere humans." It's almost like somebody somewhere WANTS technology in the classrooms of the world for some reason. Maybe because they feel machines can make the students better machines while us human teachers make them better humans? We'll put a pin in that.
I'd like to tell you I had faith in this class I am taking right now and its students having the balls to NOT be the begging dogs described above in this week's discussion assignment, but I fully expected it. And at the risk of losing a few points because peer evaluators think that giving good grades to a paper that doesn't echo the above mantra might cost THEM marks, I played the Devil's advocate. And, what a surprise, this is the first week I didn't receive a perfect 10/10 on my discussion post grade. However!!! Even though EVERY other student's discussion post was a big sloppy tongue kiss for technology, I received a few comments (at the deadline of course when it was impossible for anyone to respond to them or for the commenters to lose any marks for making them) saying that they were with me. This is how teachers need to reject technology from the shadows. Meanwhile all the education programs are cramming it down our throats and we want those degrees, we NEED those degrees, so it's in our best interest to choke it down.
Why do we need those degrees? Take a look at the Somali child of privilege above running her 22-second hundred meter. The niece of the Somali national athletics federation chairwoman reportedly. The majority of the people reading this post (and the writer) could run a faster 100 meter! I feel like we've all applied for jobs that we were perfect for and didn't even get the old PFO (please fuck off) letter in response. I am sitting here with my BA in English Lit, 7/10ths of a master's in education, 25 years of ESL teaching experience and there's a place up in Fort St. John called the FSJ Literacy Society looking for someone to teach ESL to new Canadians who have settled there and for political reasons who are they gonna hire? Lane 4 baby! Sprinter number 4! There's a similar society right here in Trail. I live just upstairs for crying out loud! I applied and actually got in touch with a person, but, to make a long story short, they lane 4ed me. I have been applying to teach ESL in the local Selkirk College here in Castlegar from overseas and from right HERE. Ghosted for years! Lane 4ed for two decades!
We've all been there haven't we? How many of us have never looked at someone and thought, "How did that dunce get that job?" Come on now, you KNOW the obvious example I never turn down. If I'm understanding things correctly in just the most recent indictment of the idiot his own mother (never) said would be a disaster in politics, he is trying to say that he didn't understand his oath of office? He can't be indicted for crimes he committed while president because he is too stupid to be president essentially? Is this what he's trying to say? I think this is what he's trying to say. It rivals the absurdity of the "The president cannot be impeached because he's president" argument associated with him. Remember that gem? Whipped up by liar - I mean lawyer Bill Barr (who should never have passed the bar) who had formerly argued the exact opposite. Of course you don't remember. These things don't stay around long enough to be significant all at the same time or SOMETHING MIGHT BE DONE! Can't have something done can we?
If I were not a "slow to adapt" teacher in need of "professional development," I might be better at video editing and I would put a little Trump head on the body of the Somali sprinter to make a new, even more hilarious video. Can you picture that all you Americans reading this who got lane 4ed from 2017-2021?
At any rate, the prostitution quote... I feel like a bit of a whore sometimes buying into the hypocrisy of the master's degree I am taking. First of all, anyone who has taught as long as I have and is NOT a master of education already is probably the sprinter from lane 4. It's an unnecessary piece of paper. But it's made necessary by the hypocrisy that is the education job market. In order to avoid getting lane 4ed so frequently, I "need" this piece of paper. The thing of it is, even with this advanced degree, there's no guarantee I'll be employable enough to land a good job in education. I might have to get a doctorate! Feed the monkey even more!
That's how I'm feeling right now folks. But this down in the dumps post might have a happy irony in its conclusion. My sister is coming over from Calgary for the August long weekend. It's Terry Fox Day or BC Day or whatever the frig. Nobody cares cuz it's a long weekend in August! I think it's most commonly CALLED "August long weekend." Anyhoo, I think I'm gonna hitch a ride back with Jenn. While in Calgary I will visit some other family members, consider getting a place there (maybe even renting a room in my sister's new place), and investigate a few job leads there exactly NONE of which will be aided in any way by my education.
It's a long shot but there is ANOTHER chance for employment in, of all places, Fort St. John, and at least a place to stay with my long time buddy Ed. He and his girl have offered me a place to crash while looking up there and from what he is telling me, I could get some work that will pay exponentially more than any job I've ever had. All unaided by the 25 years of teaching or the, what, 9 years or so of post-secondary prostitution I've participated in. Unless I go into the Literacy Society and "outsprint" the person they've chosen for that job. Okay this metaphor might be wearing a little thin. But let's use it in the next paragraph just one more time...
As far as my education is concerned, I feel like it's yet another area where I've been lane 4ed. But, I have already passed course 7 and registered for course number 8. If I get work in Calgary or Frozen John, I'll probably just abandon the friggin master's degree cuz I won't have the time for it. But I guess we'll blow up THAT bridge when we get all the charges set, eh?
More news as events warrant.
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