It is cause for celebration! I'll be working legally once again. But not till September. So it will have been a year long process getting this thing. If you've followed the saga, it included 4 personally financed visa runs, three to Korea and one to Hong Kong. I will now have the entire month of July off, without pay, and no passport to pursue work until early August. I actually HAD some work arranged for the whole month of July in Korea. Can't do that now. During July I will have to look for bits of work in August here in China or maybe do a camp in Korea. I hope to do the latter as it would allow me a chance to see my beloved Kia Tigers play live in their best season EVER. At least I'll have plenty of time to search the internet.
Somehow I'll have to squeeze in the always pleasant moving experience, (undoubtedly at my expense), from my fairly comfortable apartment to the isolation and inconvenience of the new school. It will take a lot of getting used to I'm sure, but I'm trying to see the positives. The air will be fresher. Quiet. No crowds. Who knows, I may even grow to like it in the Chinese sticks. The "chopsticks," if you will.
But since my Chinese work visa and residence permit is finally nearing completion, I'll tell you what happens when you try to open a bank account after having been in China on a business visa for 10 months. Or at least what happened to ME. And remember, banks are stupid everywhere. This is not just a Chinese phenomenon.
I asked my co-worker Grace if she could do me a favour and help me open a bank account. This was right after getting my work visa from HK, almost a month ago. I had tried with the business visa but was refused. With my new work visa, I reckoned I'd be okay. She said she'd help me, but nothing became of that. Then on Wednesday I asked Amy, another worker from the HR department. She said she'd do it too. I specifically asked if SHE could send money to Canada for me. She said ok. The next day, another co-worker, Lisa, shows up with the driver Mr. Jung. These are all Chinese girls. I 'm just using their English nicknames. So Lisa takes me to the Bank of China. In the car on the way I asked if she had an account at the Bank of China and she said no. So I knew she was going to try what I had already tried several times: to wire money to Canada from a Chinese bank where you don't have an account. Sounds simple enough and I'm getting the idea that these gals who are hired at HR and end up with the unenviable tasks of helping me do ANYthing here have unrealistically high expectations of their country's abilities to do these simple things. However, I thought that when we were refused, MAYBE I'd be able to open up an account and THEN send the money home. So I played along.
We asked the general inquiries lady. She gave us an application and asked questions like does he have the swift code, a passport, and a CC code. The friggin "CC code!" It's something they have in China that other countries really don't have. But, just like at immigration, banks, some other public offices, and most educational facilities, the people who work there like to believe they know more than you, so if you tell them something they don't know, they think you're an asshole telling them how to do their jobs. Strangely, I went to a Korean police station one time trying to get fingerprinted for a criminal record check and they had no idea what to do. They totally allowed me to get on THEIR computer and download the proper fingerprint form, print it out and tell them what they needed to do. Because I knew and they didn't. So it's not always, but usually.
Anyhoo, to my surprise, they said they could wire money to Canada. So we filled out some forms and then went to the window. Behind the window was a guy who looked as new to his job as Lisa. He examined my passport for a long time. That's never good. Then he started telling us stuff I knew was not right. I asked how much I could send. He said 500 bucks. From past experience I knew that $500 American is the limit. I was told that was all you could send per month, but the day was young. I was to be told a lot of things on this day.
I said, the limit is closer to 600 Canadian. He said, "No, 500 Canadian." I said that 500 Canadian is only like 400 US. And then I SHOWED him a form from when I had sent home 600 bucks Canadian. I was grandstanding. Showing him up. Making him look bad. At least that's what he seemed to think. So then he examined the passport some more. All he had was my passport and name address and phone number in China. I told him he'd need more info than that. I gave him the overseas transfer application from my bank in Beijing. (ICBC) Again the attitude. I whispered to Lisa that I didn't think this guy was going to be able to do this. She nodded.
Then the dreaded CC code. He said, like everyone before him, you need a nine digit CC code. I said no I don't. I pointed out on the paper a 5 digit code called the transit number. We don't use CC code as a term in Canada. What sometimes happens is the transit code is preceded by a branch code, which is not always 4 digits. In my case it's three, but I was told it makes no difference if you add an extra zero on the front. In the program the banks use for wiring money, this is done automatically. All you need to do is insert the 5 digit code where it asks for a transit code. The address of the bank will tell the computer the branch number. I told the guy, all he had to do was flash up his computer and fill in the blanks on the program. He said he would rather not do that. Was he embarrassed because I knew more about what he was trying to do than him? Was it the long inspection of the passport and the assumption, (the CORRECT assumption), that I'd been in China too long to not be working here? Or was it something simpler? Remember, my bank in the much more liberal and international city of Beijing told me of some rules they had that only applied to foreigners. Who knows? But they could have done it, they just chose not to. So that was strike one.
There was an ICBC just a few doors down from the Bank of China so we went there. They referred us to a different branch of ICBC. Strike two. On the way there I told Lisa that I had tried with Faith to send money home from the ICBC near the school and they told her they don't do that here in Taiyuan. But I said that if I could start an account there and THEN send money home, that would be convenient. Then I could do it by myself the next time.
So we went to our third bank. I'm not sure but I think the first thing they did was refer us back to the bank that had referred us to them. The same "Oh geez, why me?" demeanor was palpable in all three people. Maybe I'm over sensitive to "extra special foreigner treatment" from my days in Korea, but it was pretty obvious all three of these people felt put out by our request. Even the general assistance lady at the Bank of China. Like the one I went to with Faith, this branch, which was MUCH bigger, told us we couldn't do an international transfer. They went a step further and said that NO banks in town can do it. I said to Lisa that they definitely CAN, they just choose not to.
So I said, "Let's just go to the bank in town where I have done what these assholes just told us can't be done. The Everbright Bank of China." Last time I was there Faith sent the money from her personal account there because I still had my business visa. But I was told that I could start an account with my work visa. So with a count of three strikes and no balls, we went to bat again. The general assistance girl, who I remembered from last time because her English was very good, told us that we could do it. Lisa and her seemed to be having some problem communicating so I called Faith and explained what was happening. She said, "Yeah. You CAN start an account there and send money to Canada from it." Then she told the girl. So we got a number and waited. Lisa and I chatted a bit and the girl actually came over and chatted too. She's from Hong Kong and misses the food there. That's why her English was so good. I told her I had been in HK a few weeks earlier and showed her some pictures. I told her I miss that kind of Chinese food too. It's the kind we get in Canada. The food around here is totally different. And the HK girl and I don't like it nearly as much.
So we got to the love window. That's what they call it. I don't know why. The girl behind the window, like everyone, closely examined my passport. Then she gave it to another person to closely examine. Then another. Then she looked at it again. They asked a few questions and got us to fill out some papers and sign a couple things and she got out a bank card and started initializing it. Even told me that I could send 600 CDN dollars every DAY! I asked if she was sure and she said yes. FINALLY we were going to be able to do this! They figured out that I could send about 600 home and we calculated how much that would cost in Chinese RMB. I had 4000 with me and they said it'd be about 3300 so I said we could put the rest into my account. I asked Lisa to ask her if that card would work overseas. She said that any machine with the Unionpay sign would work. But then there was some confusing comment about only in Chinese funds. To be absolutely clear I told her that my ICBC bank card should work in any Unionpay machine too but doesn't. It doesn't even work in Hong Kong, China. They repeated that it will work in any Unionpay machine worldwide if the transaction is in Chinese funds. I asked, "So, if I go to Canada, I have to take out Chinese funds from Canadian cash machines? That is not going to happen." I honestly think she thought it COULD happen! Amazing!
Then something familiar happened. Again stemming from my days in Korea, I've grown quite good at reading the exact moment in a disagreement, argument or difference of opinion at which the opponent recognizes that standby tactics are proving useless against this formidably intelligent adversary and the good old fashioned LIE is required. Suddenly the story changed and it became, "Yes, you can use this to get foreign currency from foreign machines." No sooner did I say, "Okay, well that's all I wanted to know," than Superbanker - defender of Chinese sovereignty swooped down on this transaction so perilous to the People's Republic of China. He interrupted and told the teller, who then told Lisa, who then told me, that they need to know where the money came from. This guy doesn't mess around. He went straight to the lie. I asked politely what exactly the fuck he was lying his ass off about. He said they needed to know if the money was salary for tax purposes. Did I make this money as salary? I told him that was none of his business. I think he understood that because then he launched into an explanation with his face close to the screen speaking directly to Lisa. "It was a brand new rule implemented at the start of July," he lied. I was trying to talk to Lisa at the same time but he just overvolumed me until I had to throw up a T. I gave him a time-out sign and said, "Lisa, don't listen to him, listen to me!" He went back to his own desk where he should have stayed and minded his own business. Then I went into a painfully simplistic explanation of the basic human rights violation this bullshit rule amounted to. I said to the teller, "This is my personal money that I earned working in Canada. It's from my Canadian savings. Can we continue?" She said no. I said, "See? They think I'm lying." Then she got a bit embarrassed and said not to Lisa in Chinese, but to me in English, "No, no, no! We believe you!" I said, "Great, let's get this money sent back to Canada!" She said no. I asked why and she said they need to know where it's from. So I said, "Okay how exactly do you expect me to prove where this is from. I took 100 off the top of the pile and said, "This was a gift from my Grandmother for my birthday." Then another 100, "I won THIS in a Chinese speaking contest." Then another, "THIS one I found on the street..." I have no proof of any of that, how can I? She was now laughing and apologizing her face getting redder. I said to Lisa, "Do they ask YOU this question about YOUR money?" Then asked the teller, "How about YOU?" Then I said, "Okay, how about this: I give this money to my friend, Lisa," and handed her the whole stack of 100's." "Now if she gives it back, it's a gift! THEN can I send it? How about I give it to YOU?" and I put it into the little hole under the window. She then laughed even harder and apologized even harder, but still said no and ripped up the forms we had filled out to that point. I had been doing this loudly but with a smile on my face for two reasons, 1. to point out how hilariously unfair this whole situation and the supposed rule was, and 2. because they were RIGHT! I HAD been working in China and this WAS salary. Certainly not by choice, I should have HAD my work visa long before this, but didn't. And I couldn't say that to Lisa in front of them, could I?
So we left. Strike 4. But not before I, still smiling, pointed to the words "Love window" on the glass in front of the teller and asked, "Where is the love?" We stopped outside the bank and Lisa called Mr. Jung to pick us up. While we were waiting, the HK girl said to me, "They won't let me start an account here either because I'm from Hong Kong." So I explained to Lisa that if I had told them that was salary, they would have been able to figure out that I'd earned it before I got my work visa. And I didn't want to find out what could happen THEN. She understood and said she'd get Mr. Jung to try. Neither one wanted to send money from their own accounts, and I don't really blame them since they don't know me, but we went to one final bank where they said a Chinese friend could start an account there and send money home for me. BUT, and this was the highlight of the day for me, I first had to get Chinese money exchanged into Canadian and give it to them to send to Canada. I said, "What? Are you kidding me? What are they going to do, send it by carrier pigeon?" Fucking banks!
So here I sit Canadian bills overdue, still without a bank account in Taiyuan and still unable to send money home. That day, we tried to get my visa paperwork finished but it turned 5:00 and we were told to come back Friday. We went Friday at 9 in the morning and really didn't need to do anything else but pay for the visa and give them my passport. I was superfluous. But at least it's done now.
So Thursday night when I got home after all that nonsense, I watched a soothing game of Korean baseball and drank excessively. The Tigers completed their sweep of the Dinos and are now at least 8 games ahead of everyone else. I figured I'd be 21 days without a passport so I called up Faith, who said she knew where I could buy a cheap barbecue. So she ordered a little electric one for me. Today I have been hoping it would arrive. But still no knock at the door. I invited Faith and her husband over this weekend to test it out but they are busy. If I get it soon, I might invite someone else over. If not I'll just grill for myself.
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