Question 2: How good a laugh did you have at that?
To use an overused word, Canadian taxes (and the governments who have collected and done whatever they have done with them over the years) are LITERALLY a joke. The punchline is that that statement in question 1 is the way things are supposed to be. We all agree on that and our "elected" representatives, who traditionally perform their duties to keep things from being this way, will even go so far as to TELL us that this is how things are. But the vast chasm between reality and this statement, this lie, is so vast as to be comical making THEM a joke as well.
All part of our governments' desensitization plans.
But why is this joke so funny? Dare I analyze a joke? The best way, it is said, to make a joke unfunny is to examine it and describe exactly why it's funny. So in an effort to diffuse what volatility remains in this knee-slapper, I shall now endeavor to explain it. Perhaps a large portion of its hilarity is contained in the irony that this joke we weaponized and won WWII with, originated in 1917, a few years into WWI as a temporary, "bad" tax viewed as the federal government "invading" the hitherto provincial field that taxation had been. Why? Because the Business Profits War Tax Act, which taxed large business in Canada, making $50,000/yr or more (who were profiting as businesses do during wartime) was not, in Conservative Finance Minister Sir Thomas White's opinion, "wide enough in scope." In essence, it was the origin of the very hilarious why-tax-the-people-who-are-profiting joke in Canada. A joke that lives on today in the form of slapstick humour such as "trickle down" economics, alarmism over taxes on business "scaring" them away from Canada, wage stagnation in the midst of runaway inflation and other such absurdities. It was White's very black assertion that the tax be reviewed after the war, but, 100 years on, this has yet to happen. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Why such vehement laughter? Because this tax has not only NOT been reviewed and abolished, it has, over the years and years of politicians being elected without even a small portion of their platforms being the abolition of this increasingly burdensome and complex tax, been made, by those very politicians, illegal NOT to pay. That's right, it has become larger and more complex in order to disguise its largeness and complexity, and legally enforced. How's THAT for a gag?!
What are the penalties for non payment you may wonder. Read this gut-busting article. In it, you will find that if any Canadian does not pay this temporary tax that is still criminally collected by our government, the courts may fine them up to 200% of the taxes evaded and impose a jail term of up to five years. I can hardly type I am laughing so hard! The crime, oh, aidez moi, the crime that could DOUBLE your payment to the mafia that is our government, is described as, and I'm not making this up, "defrauding the Canadian government." lol That's right, if a Canadian citizen were to decide very correctly that this is a fraudulent tax, for not paying a tax that the Canadian government defrauded Canadians into paying with the promise that it would be temporary, and have continued to collect after their crime against the Canadian people - fraud - you may be forced into DOUBLE defraudment and charged with the crime of I-know-you-are-but-what-am-I (fraud). You just can't make this stuff up folks! Five years in prison for not enabling our criminal government.
Is that too strong? Calling our government criminal? We'll come back to that. First of all I refer you to the previous paragraph in which I was committing the same crime our government commits on you working Canadians that are reading this. They commit it every year! If you read the article I linked closely, it doesn't say non payment of income tax, it says non payment of taxes. And if you try to find information on the penalty for not paying INCOME tax, you get nothing but articles on not paying taxes in general. Canadians have been jailed for non payment of taxes. But I recall not so long ago reading an article written by a Canadian, I think he was a lawyer, no way of confirming because the article has since been removed from the internet, but anyways, he wrote about this very thing. He wrote about paying all his taxes except his income tax and basically daring the government to fine him or jail him. He knew that if he were charged with fraud he could very easily defend himself by saying refusal to pay a fraudulent tax is not fraud and set a precedent. THIS is what every member of the government and legislature of Canada didn't want to happen. Because then everybody would stop paying and there goes most of your budget. So this dude just never paid his income tax and went along his merry way unfined and unjailed in Canada. Do you imagine he was the one and only guy who found this loophole? Loophole. Is that fact that a tax is illegal a "loophole?" You see how funny this is?
I submit to you that this guy was not the best lawyer in Canada. I submit to you that the best lawyers in Canada all know of this "loophole" and most work for big businesses and corporations. I seriously doubt big businesses and corporations in Canada pay their income taxes, or capital gains tax or whatever the equivalent may be. They can probably go back to the origins of these taxes and say that they were temporary taxes created to help in war and they shouldn't have to be paid any more. And they don't even need to do this because of the tax favouritism shown to them in Canada.
The other good lawyers in Canada who know about this "loophole?" Why, they become politicians. Do you suppose it is a coincidence that, to the best of my knowledge, NONE of the politicians in our lifetimes have ever made this drastic injustice a part of their political platform? This is without doubt the largest con ever perpetrated upon the Canadian people! By our government! And it is inconceivable that no politician (most of whom come from the legal profession) in the past hundred years has seriously challenged, or even made mention of what should be the biggest or at least one of the biggest issues in Canadian politics! Because THEY don't pay it either! Or at the very least they know they don't have to, but any politician who paid income tax knowing he/she didn't have to would be a politician who shared this information with the Canadian public. Which is why I maintain that there has never been a Canadian politician from any party that I would consider worthy of my vote. Because their participation in the continued collection of a criminally fraudulent tax makes them all criminals or at least accomplices whether they pay their income tax or not. And if you don't split your sides laughing at the idea that this is the crop from which we have had to choose our leadership since we were old enough to vote, well you just don't have a sense of humour.
But this just gets funnier! I gave you just one of a thousand different ways these con artists we call our government have devised to obscure the knowledge that income tax is illegal and not only should we not pay it, we should topple our "government" for collecting it. Including income tax in the word "taxes" in common social training axioms such as, "If you don't pay your taxes, you don't have a right to complain about your government," is another example. Isn't that amusing? Because if you DO pay your taxes, specifically the biggest one - your income tax, then YOU, my fellow dupe, are contributing to the delinquency of our government and have lost the privilege of complaining about it. How hilarious is that? We all pay our income tax, don't we? But by doing so, we excuse ourselves from any right to complain about doing so! It's kind of a "Catch T-1" isn't it?
The original tax code of Canada was 11 pages. The Canadian Tax Code is now so lengthy and complex that even accountants can't understand it. How can Joe Canuck be expected to? Well he's not. By tax season 2019 it had ballooned to 3227 pages. Another little zinger for you.
You want to read a fantasy/comedy classic? Try to get your hands on the Canadian federal budget every year. It's laugh out loud entertaining!
It seems like one of my favourite rants from one of my favourite comedians might fit just nicely here. In fact he's gotta be the best no? Carlin? Who's better? Maybe CK but at least Carlin didn't jack off in front of anybody. I used to love Cosby, but look at what happened there. George Carlin said this:
I have been offered another university job here in Korea. YAY! I am very excited about that for two main reasons: 1. I will get paid vacation during both the summer and the winter semester breaks. This is HUGE! It makes the job seem like less work for more pay than any other job I've had. I hope this job has some staying power. Fingers crossed!
2. Like any job I have had in Korea, I don't even notice the taxes! My employer calculates them, takes them off my check and I don't even notice. This I have found to be the new funniest joke in the world and I hope I can manage to die laughing from it!
LMFAO!
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