Tuesday, September 3, 2024

The Iliad Flow Part I

 Well, back to the negative. You didn't think the positive posts would last did you? And if you have read any of the posts on my alternative blog "A Bottle of Tequila and a New Pack of Cigarettes" you didn't think THAT would last long did you? 

I mentioned briefly in the post about my battle with Canadian taxation that I am balls deep in a similar fight with the phone provider Koodo of whom I am currently a hostage. This will be long but it is a Facebook convo that I am currently having with a Koodo rep. Facebook was the only option I could find on the entire Koodo site that might offer me a way to cancel my service. I apologize for the red, it was the only way the white printing Blogger chose for Mihaela would show up on the white background. Anyway, the convo explains it:

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Thursday, August 29, 2024

When Henry Met Sully

  A positive post since beyond that Canadian residual crap I AM having a really great time here in the US with my family of besties!

Yesterday I was handed a book of writing prompts by Heather and asked to contribute to it. This morning I found a worthy prompt. Take a scene from a well known story and write it in a different time. I wrote the following:

When Henry Met Sully

Courtly Lady: Name thee, good wench, yon hale, becoming man.

Sully: Fie on you lass! Tis Henry, nothing more.

Would he were more than nothing to be sure!

Courtly Lady: Methinks you wrong him with your vexing barbs.

Surely he could do great things in my name!

Sully: A fool doth enterprises great 'tis true,

But only great in foolishness forsooth.

Twas but a day ago, or mayhap two

Myself I sought this sense-starved knave to woo.

Mark thee well what his arrogance doth wrought

Lest in his web of witless wisdom caught

You furnish him with numbers greater still

To count the fully sated mounts this knight hath killed.

Courtly Lady: Hah! Fully sated. Speaketh thou in jest?

I've falsely whimpered even with the best!

Sully: I shit thee not, and yet this coxcomb crows.

His falseness rivals our own moans and groans.

Ladies together (in exceeding mirth): Oh God! Oh Jove! Oh yes, oh yes, oh YAY!

Oooh! Aaah! Right there! Oh shit! Oh fuck! Okay!

Henry: I overhear the sounds of pleasure made

By every lucky lady I have laid.

What do they drink? I'll have the selfsame ade.


I thank thee - I mean you.

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Thursday, April 4, 2024

Our Culture of Distrust

 I have this friend I work with named Elizabeth. It's not her real name but I don't know her real name so we'll call her Elizabeth or Liz or Beth or Betty. I like Betty. Let's go with Betty.

Betty is from India but she has been teaching English (her first language) all over the world since she graduated university and hasn't received respect or tenure or the appreciation she has worked VERY hard for and richly deserves. Sound familiar? 

Somehow we both landed in Calgary at the Centre for Newcomers teaching English in the LINC program. Somehow one day we both ended up in the resource room working on our computers side-by-side. It was end-of-term paperwork time so a lot of stress was flying around. I was actually done my paperwork but it was during the 3-week period when I was both teaching my night class from 7-9 PM Mon/Wed/Thu and substitute teaching every day from 9-12 in the morning. It was somewhere between noon and 7PM and I was looking at resources to get ideas for future lessons and writing a paper on my computer for my master's course. I have since finished the course and received a final grade of 97. 

Betty was doing some stuff on CHAD on her computer (which is the LMS we use for attendance records, assessments and other stuff) and I was procrastinating mid-paper when we sparked up the best conversation I've had with anyone at work yet. It was honest, forthright, we weren't trying to be politically correct, spare feelings, or protect our jobs. We just talked shop. It was SO nice! In all my jobs I've always had co-workers I could do this with. It's cathartic. I know there are those who feel that bitching about work just makes a person more negative but I think it allows people to get things off their chest that, if kept inside, would make them more negative. Maybe everybody's different but me and Betty were the same. It's nice to find a kindred spirit at work. 

I won't get into detail but one of the things that came up was Bow Valley College. It is one of the many places to which I've applied around Calgary. I am positive I even sent a "reminder" email to them after the original application package. I heard nothing from them. Betty was surprised they hadn't gotten back to me. She works there as well as at the CFN and she told me I'd be a good fit there and I would probably like it a lot better than CFN. So I figured during this, my semester break, I'd re-re-remind them that I am still available. Betty said she thought that would be a great idea. 

So I go online and search for a way to apply for the LINC program at Bow Valley College so I could put my resume on file for any positions that come up in the future. I know there is a massive waiting list of newcomers because we are turning people away at the CFN. There's just not enough government funding for them all. Yet, there ARE some new courses starting up at the CFN mid April when I get back to work. I'm hoping to snag one of two of them but in case I don't, I thought it might be a good backup plan to throw my name in at BVC. Makes sense right? 

Well, as with almost everything I have tried to do that should make sense in my year being back in Canada, they've fucking sucked the sense right out of it. Typical of any university, college, government agency, or job I've tried to apply for Bow Valley College has blocked themselves from the public and left customer service up to the good and trustworthy people who man (or woman) the phones at the many call centers around India and the Philippines. 

Except, that is, for applying to study there. That's easy peasy macaroni and cheesy. Unbelievably, this is actually commendable. Some places have made even giving them your money a pain in the ass. "We can't take cash at point of purchase. You'll need to download our app, choose a password that must include a cap, number, symbol, repeating digit, and between 21 and 22 characters and sign up for our money transfer program for which we will need credit/debit card numbers, bank account numbers, swift code, sample signature, Mother's maiden name, three pieces of picture I.D., three verification questions and answers, and a recent phone or utility bill proving citizenship/residence. Then you will need to sync to all of your devices, accept our monthly newsletter, give us your email so we can send you all of our advertising   there as well (and sell it to people who will give you more), and then we're gonna need you to go ahead and jump down, turn around, and pick a bail of cotton." "Really? I just want to buy this pair of shoes..." Jonah Hill? 40 Year Old Virgin? Sigh...

So I go online foolishly thinking I can find an email contact at BVC. The only one I could find was info@ so I sent an email there and promptly received a response saying they got my email and would try to get back to me in 10 business days. If I would like to get in touch sooner I could use the following phone number, webpage, etc. which were all for students applying to study at the college. But I called the number for the Welcome Centre anyway. I got someone with an Indian accent. This in no way means she was in India. There are Indians all over Calgary and many are in positions that require speaking English. I'm just going from experience here and the laws of probability when I say I think she was in India. I explain my situation to her. She says, "We don't accept resumes online." Well, that explains why it was so hard to find an email to which I could send a resume... there are none.

Before calling I had sent a resume and cover letter to both the info@ email and another email I found from an application I had sent Bow Valley College BACK IN 2011!!! I've been trying to reach somebody there for 13 years! This would also explain why my recent job app email and the follow-up were both unanswered. There is no email address to send them to where they CAN be answered! Unbelievable? Nah! This is very believable.

So I ask how I'm supposed to put a resume on file to teach in the LINC program. I explained that I already teach in the LINC program, I have a friend who teaches in the LINC program at BVC who recommended I put a resume on file there - should I give her a copy of my resume to give to somebody? Or can you give me the contact information of the person in charge of hiring for the LINC program (or any English program) at the college? No, she cannot do that either. She went on to say that the only way to apply for a job is to go to the careers@ site and apply directly. "Otherwise the only thing I can do is give you the number of the LINC program here."

Ummm yeah, sure, that would be handy since it's what I asked you for way back at the beginning of this conversation????? "Why wouldn't she start with this?" I foolishly wondered.

So me and my absolutely relentless positivity call the number expecting a person to answer. 

Of course I got a recording saying that nobody is available. The office hours of the LINC department are Monday to Friday between 9 AM and 4 PM. It was about 11 AM.

And as I said, this is typical in my experience. How has Canada become like this? It would seem we are a culture of mistrust but in defense of my country even though it sucks worse every time I come back, I know we were never like this before globalization and multiculturalism turned us into a culture of DIStrust the difference being distrust is predicated on previous experience while mistrust is not. MIStrust is the safest attitude a person can have in an environment of distrust like Canada but I keep getting burned by memories of how Canada was once a business on a handshake, word is my bond, leave your doors unlocked kind of country and expecting it to still be that way. We didn't morph into what we are today in any organic way.

I got a text message today from a number I didn't recognize. It said, "I'm in town for the next few days. I'd love to see you if you're around." Then a follow-up message, "Are you busy now?" What goes through your mind immediately when you read two texts like this? Is it something stupid like, "Which of my friends might be rolling through town and want to hook up?" or something sensible like, "Fucking scammers. Eat shit and die," as you press "block number?" That is the healthy attitude of mistrust we've all adopted and it's something we've learned. It wasn't so long ago (to me) that we had no call display and we normally started calls with, "Hey it's Dave here..." I am so old I even remember TEACHING this in English phone etiquette lessons. Koreans used to have a habit of saying, "Hello. I am Sung Ho," instead of "Hello, this is Sung Ho." It's the first thing we wonder isn't it? "Who is this calling?" But it's completely different now. It's "Who the HELL is calling me now?" rather than "Ooooh I wonder who could be calling me!" 

It's the same thing with a knock on the door or a doorbell as Seb Maniscalco magnificently explains:

People don't trust anyone anymore. We've all been scammed. We've all probably run into scamsters this year already and we're just starting April! This didn't just happen. How many of us have a laundry list of scams perpetrated on us by a laundry list of scumbags? You've only read a fraction of MY personal lists of both on this blog. "Once bitten twice shy" the old saying goes. We've been bitten more than a snake handler pastor in training... in Alaska... just after a mosquito hatch! What we have is far beyond shyness, it is Distrust. This malevolence might even be diabolically premeditated and intentionally carried out by scamsters as part of their scams! It's all part of the politics and economics of fear. You've heard about that here and in other places before. 

Check out the countries mentioned in this vid:

What are the top countries of origin amongst newcomers to Canada? India, China, Afghanistan, and (drumroll please) Nigeria. Add the Philippines in there, which is high on both lists, and you've got almost half the immigration numbers of Canada. How long have things been this way? I mean you are not just importing people. You are importing religion, culture, ethics, business practices, social values, and I have no faith in the ranking of such criteria by our immigration officials. I'm pretty sure these things don't even appear on the list. Here's a good example of the scammer mentality. I think it was described in something Asian I read like Confucius or Lao Tzu but I read it described as the scammer convinces him/herself that they are agents of education teaching the ignorant to be careful. If you fall for their scams it's your fault. You should be smarter. They are doing you a service by punishing your gullibility. Listen to the girl with the annoying voice:

I know some considerations that DO appear on the list of immigration criteria though. People from these countries will vote and legitimize our long-time illegitimate government officials. That might have been consideration number one for Pierre and it may be for his dopey son too. 

People from these countries will work the shitty jobs regular Canadians KNOW can't pay the bills. For a little while anyway until they realize they're spinning their wheels and Canada isn't the land of milk and honey and go home only to be replaced by others. This is how hourly wages haven't budged in the last 40 years in Canada while inflation has gone on a rocket ride to the stars.

I was told today that the extra hours I had been hoping for will not be available. They were given to two teachers. TWO. I was under the impression that there was lots available. It was suggested that I could take two classes and that would boost my hours to full time and I could get benefits. I just paid 400 dollars out of pocket for my diabetes meds. That's every month folks. So yeah I've been rationing. That would be covered IF I got full time hours. But there are no prospects of that at this place until October now. I can't wait that long.

I'm hoping to get at least something at Bow Valley College otherwise all the studying, certification, learning the tedious ways they do things will all have been for naught. Whatever the case may be with BVC I am officially looking for work again.

If you hear of any job prospects in the ESL industry no reasonable offer will be refused.

I'll let you know how the job hunt goes...

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