Elbows, Knuckles, Tongue and Cheek

First read the article and then read the recipe in the comments. Ha ha ha. Hilarious!

Hmmmm... that article will not appear on my blog. It is on the draft but as soon as I publish it the link disappears. I think they are on to me already! Just go to huffpost.com if you want to read about Harpers Elbows. Or just read the following summary. It is comedy gold!

So apparently Harper went to a restaurant in Beijing while he visited China and ordered soup braised pork knuckles and some cabbage in mustard sauce. He then dipped the pork knuckles in the mustard sauce, a feat never before thought of or performed I guess, and voila, Stephen Harper Elbows was born. Stephen Harper Elbows is reportedly a very popular dish now at this restaurant. Pork dipped in mustard sauce. Who knew? Anyway I guess the restaurant is selling lots of Harper Elbows. (An extra large order is called Gordie Howe Elbows)

I think this calls for another Daveès top 10 list! Oh where to begin... there is SO much here! First let me start with a dish I like to call tongue in cheek. It is public domain. I did not invent it. So here goes:

1. Our PM was in China what, 2 weeks ago? And already China is making more off our new trade relationship than Canada!

2. It sure is a good thing Harper did not patent that idea! Otherwise the Chinese would never have been able to use it.

3. 5000 years of inventing exactly everything and you are telling me nobody in China thought to dunk a piece of pork in mustard sauce? This just in: a report of a 4999-year-old Chinese recipe just surfaced that is indeed pork knuckles in mustard sauce. It must be genuine. It is documented.

4. So knuckle and elbow are the same word in Chinese? I guess this keen, detailed understanding of anatomy is why millions put so much trust in Chinese medicine. Could this be how accupressure started? Massage the third toe if you have back pain. Maybe third toe and back are the same Chinese character too. I guess as long as you trust the doctor...

5. Help me, Chinese doctor. I hurt my knuckles in a fight. Okay, roll up your sleeve and I will fix that in a jiffy. I guess as long as you trust the doctor...

6. Surely if they are having trouble telling the difference between knuckles and elbows they could just go outside and stand in the line-up for that restaurant! Then you will get knuckles and elbows.

7. This just in: A 5001-year-old Chinese document recording the difference between knuckles and elbows has just been brought to our attention. Oh those clever Chinese!

8. This is all tongue-in-cheek. Do not think me racist. I am just kidding. I am sure the Chinese have suffered worse racism. They probably have old reports of it. They probably sing songs of it. Like the ancient folk song the title of which translates roughly into, No This Water Is Not Cold, Why? See, now THAT is some solid racism.

9. Bulletin, bulletin, bulletin: Here is a bulletin: The dish formerly known as Stephen Harper Elbows has been renamed, Jeremy Lin Foul-out due to recent controversy. That is all.

10. This just, just in: A 1,000,000-year-old document has just been discovered in Harbin, China. In it is the first known use of the term and the device known as tongue in cheek. In a related story I am being sued for this blog entry.

11. Number 11 has been added as a pre-emptive strike against prospective litigation originating at the Late Night With David Letterman headquarters.