So it's Monday night I think. I'm going in there to brush my teeth or something and I got a big surprise. On the handsoap dispensor I found this:
It's pretty small writing so you'll have to click on it if you want to read it. It's got some funny grammar and spelling mistakes, but that's not the most interesting part. It has a lot of common claims that are made on Chinese-manufactured products from herbal "medicine" to cheap novelty items. For instance helps you sleep; cures constipation; gives you energy; increases blood flow, (with the intended assumption that that includes the areas where men might most want blood flow to be raging); slows the aging process; makes you smarter; fights cancer; and SO MANY MORE! It's from a little box of tea. This amazing tea that Chinese scientists have "proven" to be so miraculously good for everything has made its way to Victoria and somebody bought some and drank it at my worksite.
As an aside here, I worked at a kids camp one year with about half a dozen teachers that were not Chinese, but were teaching in China at the time. One of the guys talked to me about how he made more money from his part time job. He was a TV, radio and I imagine internet announcer. His job was to flog all kinds of Chinese products and read the scripts written by the manufacturers for him in English. He told me that most of his business came from pills, balms, salves and Chinese snake oil all of which made claims to make your breasts and/or penis larger, increase sexual desire and performance, and see above list for other things he mentioned. So this was the kind of stuff he was reading for commercials while he was in China.
He told me he had his doubts at first about it but he found out that they just haven't yet gotten around to regulating English language commercials like that. Basically, in Chinese you are limited in the um... creativity of your salespitch. Not so in English. It's WIDE open. Say what you want and if some English-speaker believes you, it sucks to be him/her.
So back to our paper that came from the box of tea. I have a suspicion that the Chinese side might not make the tea sound quite so miraculous. I'll have to refer this mystery to a Chinese friend. Maybe Sharon will read it for me. At any rate, when I found the piece of paper on the handsoap dispensor I noticed about a dozen tea envelopes in the bathroom trash recepticle. I did not ascertain if they were full or empty but I think there were probably some of both. I also noticed in the toilet, the sink and all over the floor some faintly fermented tea smelling puke. And it was black and kind of had hunks that looked like tea leaves in it. I did some quick Sherlock Holmes sleuthing and came to the conclusion that perhaps the miracle tea was not delivering on its promises.
Mind you, the promise about weight loss, I suppose I'd have to say the tea delivered. But I'll be interested in finding out who the consumers were and asking if they felt stronger, more energetic, healthier or smarter as they were spraying that tea all over the previously sanitary washroom. I have my doubts. So I think I got two days of using the convenient washroom while it was clean. Damn those infernal Chinese tea salesmen!
In a related story our Prime Minister, Stephen Harper has just returned from wheeling and dealing with all kinds of Chinese salesmen of tea and other commodities. I'm sure all of those dealings and negotiations were done IN ENGLISH.
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