As if someone has dared them, the buffoons in the Canadian House of Commons who brought you a week or two of "Elbowgate," have moved on to something even less representative for the people they are supposed to be representing: the gender neutrality of our national anthem.
Okay, as I have said before, the only place I think that song has any business is at international events like the Olympics or pancake eating contests, or world wars. I think it's a little too hooray-for-us, brainwashy otherwise. I also hate all those ads about how we do things in Canada. Mostly for beer. You know the ones... Here's a tip: apology is an act of humility. Saying that we apologize more than other nations is bragging and therefore contradictory. BTW, did you notice how he comments on the beaver being our national animal. Hah!
When I was a little kid, I mean in kindergarten and grade 1, I used to sing the anthem at the start of my school day. Even then I thought two things: 1. "What do these words mean?" and 2. "Isn't this a little bit braggy?"
So what DO the words mean and why it posing as a parliamentary issue to change them? Here are the words to the anthem of my country:
So let's analyze this, shall we? I really shouldn't be singing it since it IS my native land, but no longer, (largely for reasons I'm on about today), my home. The second line was the confusing one to me. It's one of those backward sentences cuz I guess, "Command true patriot love in all our sons," didn't fit the tune. Still no less confusing. Commanding patriot love is sort of taking a little bit away from the glorious and free part, don't you think? North Korea commands patriot love from its citizens. That's why they truly believe Kim Jong Il got 5 holes-in-one his first time golfing.
And if it's TRUE patriot love, well it shouldn't need commanding, should it? I reckon they just needed another word to say on that note. "TRUE" is a good national anthem word! For the same reasons it's a good political word. Let's move on.
With glowing hearts, (that's all, we're just a country full of E.T.'s up here), we see thee rise, (what are we a land or a cake?), the true north strong and free. There's that word, TRUE again. With the word FREE. Other than "O" and "Thee," the words TRUE and FREE seem to be the focus of the song. Can you guess why?
"From far and wide," used to mean from the far and wide expanses of just Canada. USED TO. Now we have more people from all over the world than probably any other nation. At least per capita. And with the favouritism shown to them it's no wonder, but that's for another post.
"We stand on guard for thee." This was another confusing part. What does it mean to stand on guard for my country? Was I promising something here? Was this a verbal contract? Was I being recruited for some sort of guard duty without my knowledge? I suppose this might have been thrown in there just in case. You know, just in case of war. Then the recruiters or drafters would be able to say, "Well you can't very well sing that and then not fight for your country, can you?" A dirty trick.
"God keep our land glorious and free." Isn't it absolute proof of the pussification of Canada that the phrase, "all our sons," is being removed before the word, "God?" By the last census, as of July 1, 2015, Canada had 17,776,700 males and 18,075,100 females. Pretty close to 50-50, but actually a few more daughters than sons. "In all of us," makes more sense statistically than "in all our sons." But do I need to point out that when the song was written, "sons" meant "sons and daughters," just like "he" meant "he or she" and "man" meant "man and woman?" The writer of the anthem hadn't suffered through a university education during which any and all of these were immediately and without fail corrected by zealous, female students, or male students showing support for feminism to get laid. It's an old song! O is now spelled with an H and thee is only used before words starting with a vowel. Like thee apple or thee elephant. THEE is now YOU, folks. But since it's gender neutral, we won't bother to update THAT word.
Back to God. Surprising stats in Canada show that two thirds of people actually believe in God in Canada. I do and I suppose if you believe in God and the anthem means anything to you, you should be glad God is still in it. But again, those stats have been bolstered by the new Canadians from far a wide and methinks the God of the songwriter is not necessarily the God of all the believers in Canada. Again, times change. However, the same stats show that only 42% consider religion important. I'm guessing here but probably fewer consider it important in our anthem. But women, feminists, and men trying to get laid, they seem to consider this word, "sons" pretty important.
Here's a question for you: If there should be a war involving Canada... an alien invasion... who else would invade Canada?.. so now the people of Canada who have been pledging to stand on guard for our country before hockey games our entire lives are called to put our money where our mouths are, what do you think the percentages would be like THEN? Oh sure, some women would fight, but you KNOW they would be shown great favouritism in battle if they did. And far fewer women would fight the aliens than men. It's a fact. The percentage of women in the Canadian armed forces is about 16. A far cry from the percentage of women in our country. WHY? Well that's an idiotic question, isn't it? The military is a male thing. The defence of women and children naturally falls to men. And if there were a draft, it would only be for the males of Canada, not the females. "Women and children first!" This is in Russia, but notice the order. First kids, then wife, and finally the man jumps and I heard he fractured his spine. This is the way we still do things in Canada too. So do you suppose the controlling women of Canada, in exchange for inhaling more smoke, pulling out chairs, battling flames, opening doors, fighting wars, throwing the kids out the window and fracturing spines, do you suppose women might, in exchange for this responsibility, show some gratitude and allow men ANY last bastion of masculinity in Canada, such as the word "sons" in our national anthem? No, because as pointed out before, feminism is not about equality. Women of Canada will still gladly be the first hostages released by the bank robbers, but HELL NO, get that masculine word out of our meaningless anthem! "We'll take all the inequalities in favour of women, and along with them we demand equality in everything else. And we reserve the right to create inequality in favour of women in all of THOSE areas in future as well." THAT is feminism. At least in Canada.
This whole gender neutral national anthem is sort of the dying wish of Liberal MP, Mauril Belanger, a guy who has never sung the anthem in English anyway. And in case you wonder, here's the way the French Canadians sing our anthem:
O Canada! Land of our forefathers, your brow is wreathed with a glorious garland of flowers because your arm can wield the sword,and it is ready to carry the cross. Your history is an epic of the most brilliant exploits, your valour steeped in faith. (We) will protect our homes and our rights. (We) will protect our homes and our rights.
I'm not sure changing "our sons" to "of us" in the anthem will qualify as one of the "brilliant exploits of valour that is the epic history of Canada," but, Mauril wants to make his mark before he dies. He's a man, by the way. When I heard this, I admit, my first thought was, "A man? Why would the women in control give half a shi - oh, a DYING man." Gotta love the ladies! Their weakness, no I mean their power, is their compassion.
The question I'm asking of this man is, what is his swansong really saying? It could just be he is very aware of the female over-representation in our country and trying to get ANYthing gender neutralized is like shooting fish in a barrel. Or is there something wiser going on here? In a recent episode of The Simpsons, Homer says to Marge, "In all my years of living with the female species I've learned one thing: when they want to do something totally insane, your only move is to support them 100% It's an old relationship move I call, 'turning into the skid.'" Could this dying MP be turning into the skid in an attempt NOT to forbid the changing of the national anthem, thereby ensuring that it won't be changed? What I mean is, maybe he is scheming that if support is given for this totally insane idea to waste even MORE valuable House of Commons floor time on such a stupid issue, the women will not emotionally do what they perceive they have been ordered not to do by controlling males, and recognize the insanity. Maybe if we all support this ludicrous waste of time, it won't even make it to the floor. Are Homer Simpson and Mauril Belanger actually geniuses? I guess that remains to be seen.
Until then, YEAH, get this horrible, sexist word, "sons," out of the anthem! Leastaways, that's what I reckon.
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