Thanks Giving

 Just so's I can keep everything straight at this time in my life, I'm going to post a little update on the major issues I have. If you are interested, go ahead and read. It's Canadian Thanksgiving and I'm trying to find things for which to be thankful even though, other than some family and friends, most of the things I'm thankful for are not in Canada. Like the Peet/Spiwak fam. They're just letting me stay here and participate in household goings on as if I am a part of their family. Rob and Terri did the same. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the charity, but how did I become a person who has only charity to be thankful for? Maybe this list will shed some light on that...

1. M. Ed. To begin with, my endeavors to become a master of education have been successful but (you'll notice a pattern here) the paper saying so has met with a roadblock. My M. Ed. studies have been on hold since I found out that I have to do a study on a class of 25 students or more as course #11 and write the study results as course #12, my thesis. I already had ideas of writing on some of the more interesting things I had studied in the previous 10 courses. This is not how it works at the U. of the People evidently. They give you a false feeling of choice by offering a small variety of topics on which to base the study they are forcing you to do. Educational studies and the tedious formats and mechanics by which they must be administered are the mathematics of education and I am not at all interested in them. Even reading them is frustrating because of the over-specificity required to say something insanely simple that we all know without the study like, for instance, small classes are better than large ones. That would probably be my choice of topics to study IF they weren't forcing the students to do their studies on classes of 25 or more. 

I am currently not working and that will be number 2. Because of that, I have no class upon which to conduct my thesis study. This is a problem. I contacted the prof of my 11th course after registering and reading the course outline to ask what I should do since I was moving to the US, had no class to study, and it was the summer during which there are no fucking classes at all. I received no response so the day before the course drop deadline I dropped the course. I have since been informed by TWO academic (both meanings) advisors that I should have contacted my prof. They told me I would have received instructions on how to do the study on teacher interviews or using "archives." I don't know what this means or how I would do it so I was instructed to open my dashboard, click on "my courses," locate the class members list, click on the prof, and send her an email. Anyone see the problem? Neither of my academic advisors realized that without being registered for the class, I click on "my courses" and I get a blank page. So now I have been referred to the supervisor of my two academic advisors who has told me she will contact the appropriate parties and get back to me within 5 business days. That was 6 business days ago. 

2. Unemployment. I am not missing employment at all, but I miss the money. Living in Maryland has been one big holiday. I do chores around the house but haven't done a day of work since early July. It's been nice. Let's see so far some of the things my family of besties and I have done together have been... fishing (and catching!), Much Ado at Roman's College, open house at Roman's College, Cubs vs. Orioles/Wash. vs. Milwaukee baseball (my first two MLB games), meeting two families of friends of the family, Kings Dominion amusement park, pool party at Roman and Reilly's work, a trip to the big Baltimore Bass Pro store, a visit to see Ed Allan Poe's grave (incl. a trip to the Poe House), plenty of Olympic watching, sport watching, bbqing, game playing, and lots of swimming in the family pool. I don't like being unemployed but I'm having a really good time!

I knew someday I'd end up in the Poe House - just didn't think it'd be so soon.

Me and Eddie.

Not big fish, but at least I'm not getting skunked here.

The tiresome flume ride with Mike, Reilly, and Kelly.

So I gotta say... I'm thankful for being unemployed? And, as recent posts describe, that IS at least partially to do with Canada so I suppose I'm thankful that Canada sucks for me as far as employment goes. 

3. Taxes. I had my taxes done for the almost 10 years I was away from Canada and the H&R Block worker gave me some positive results. The problem is that everything positive in my life comes with nagatives attached. That's why this post is such a challenge. I'm getting money for the time I was away from Canada. That's great right? Of course not! There's work for me in Canada but I can't get it. At least not enough of it to pay the bills. So I reckon I have earned a little tax money due to the hardship of being forced to leave my country to obtain a living. Not to mention paying tax on things I bought in Canada while being away and contributing zero carbon to the Canadian air. When you look at it that way, the amount I was supposed to receive was very little. But I guess someone at the Winnipeg Tax Office didn't see it that way and I was audited. They withheld some of my tax money (I still haven't done the complicated calculations but it's likely between 2 and 3 grand) until I gave them some information about where I'd been living in Canada since I returned. That's right, my government was EXTORTING information from me and it was information that had to do with less than 2 of the 120 months represented by the tax return they were blocking. But I sent the information. It was received but the funds were not deposited into my account. I received a letter saying the information had NOT been received so adjustments would be made and I might receive less or even have to pay money back that I had already received. (Remember-less than 2 months. How the fuck could it make THAT much of a difference?) I have spent 5 months sending emails to these jagovs and to the ombudsmen who are supposed to oversee them and recently received a letter (by snail mail) admitting that they DID receive my information. So I qualify for benefits from Feb. '24 to now. No mention of the withheld funds and my bank account has not been properly enhanced as yet. I got a number to call because it's much easier to keep a person busy without actually helping them that way. Nobody wants to email me cuz it's too hard to hide. Even text messages are not accepted. I haven't called the number yet but have no doubt it'll just start a whole new chapter in this saga. 

4. Telus/Koodo. Still being harassed by Telus about the internet I had while living in Trail that I have contacted them about and have been told to ignore the messages FROM THEM because my account is fully paid up. I've blocked them in every way I know how but still a message sneaks through now and again. This is what happens when you break the law and make your service WAAAAY harder to discontinue than to start up.

With Koodo, my phone, it's the exact same thing. Before coming to the US I went to a mall Koodo booth and told them I waned to cancel. The dude there said there is an international plan. The FIRST thing I asked him was if I got it, would it be easy to cancel because I've had trouble before. He assured me there would be no trouble cancelling from my personal online account page but it is impossible to do from my personal online account page. What I didn't ask was if the fucking service would work because... you know... you kind of expect that. I can't make calls or receive calls and I'm paying 79 bucks a month. For text messages. My internet data doesn't even work! So I try to discontinue the service and everybody tells me they can't do it. I just told one person to fuck off and die, I will not pay you another cent. They had the nerve to tell me online that I need to call their toll free service number. Using my phone you have turned into a brick? "No, just use someone else's phone." This, folks, is illegal. They get away with it because nobody does anything about it. I WANT these fuckers to try to get their money out of me through legal action. Bring it on Telus you scamsters! So not at all thankful for THAT. Let's move on.

5. Teaching. I have an ongoing offer of employment to teach in public schools in Taiwan that is as roadblocked as these other things and for the same reason - intentionally impotent paperwork and protocol. Now this is a bit sketchy but I've long since grown accustomed to at least a little sketchiness in jobs teaching overseas. It's part of the hardship to which I referred of leaving Canada although I am NOT saying Canada is without its own abundance of sketchiness. My employer, Teach Taiwan, wants to ensure its clients - parents - that all their teachers are licensed in N. America. Normally that means they have teaching certificates and even experience teaching in Canada or the US. I have taught in the public schools of Canada, Korea, China, and Indonesia though I am not properly licensed. But that's okay. You see there are some states, Illinois being one, where they issue substitute teaching licenses. All you need is a BA. You send them your transcripts (and some states also want fingerprints to do a criminal record check) and wait a few weeks. BAM, you're now technically licensed to teach in N. America. A bit sketchy but what the hell. I'd have classes or more than 25 to teach so I could kill the proverbial two birds by making money AND finishing my master's. I sent my transcripts and just waited. I poked them a few times but they just kept telling me to wait longer. Finally someone told me that I need to have my degree "translated." In short, does it equate to a 4-year degree in the US. Here comes some more paperwork and protocol. I went to grade 13 in Ontario then 3 years of university. I received my honours BA (4 years) as opposed to the non-honours BA (3 years) so I figured I'd be okay. My BA has been endlessly verified and honoured internationally as the equivalent of an American BA. In fact I was accepted into the U. of the People where they would not have accepted me without the equivalent of a 4-year BA. HOWEVER... I have received word from a few of these credential translators that my BA is only worth 3 years toward an American BA. I have talked to Illinois and several other sub licensing state school boards and they all say the same thing. I need an accreditation agency to officially equate my BA as equal to an American BA. I have given up on all except North Dakota. I may end up getting a sub job in Fargo so I can finish my friggin useless M. Ed.

6. Education. Did I say useless M. Ed.? I sure did! Get ready for some more impotent paperwork and protocol. I figured that since I was stalled in my efforts to finish my degree with the U. of the People I'd look into transferring into a local program that is similar. I went to the open house at Roman's college and was impressed. They have a Master of Arts in teaching program there. I contacted a gal named Crystal who was very nice and helpful via email. I just don't know why other people can't be! She told me to send my transcripts from both my BA and my master's. I did so and she said that I needed more credits in my major and that my master's credits would not be accepted because the U. of the People is not REGIONALLY accredited. It's nationally and internationally accredited, but not regionally. I would think regionally, being smaller, would be the less prestigious (and transferable) of the two but life, eh? Regionally accredited schools are more widely accepted. So I started asking other schools about my credits. Not accepted at any of the M. Ed. or similar programs I looked into. W---T---F??!! 7 years of hell to get my BA and now over 2 years of hard work to get 10/12ths of my M. Ed. and neither degree is as good as I had been led to believe! I know Westly told Princess Buttercup that life is pain and anyone who tells you different is selling something but... IS EVERYTHING IN LIFE A FUCKING SCAM??? Right now I FEEL like Westly knowing this pearl of wisdom but hardly able to move a finger to do anything about it.

Let me splain... no, there is too much. Let me sum up. My head is swimming with all the variant but essentially identical plots and schemes (they're the same thing) to screw up my life and career in exchange for money. The epicentre of this shitstorm if not the source of all of my "suffering" is Canada. So on this Canadian Thanksgiving weekend I am finding it nigh onto impossible to be thankful for anything Canadian except friends and family that I have to leave behind BECAUSE of all the shyte I'm not thankful for. I am going to make some ribs and corn on the cob for Thanksgiving dinner and I will feast with the family I am most thankful for here in America. Then about a month from now, I'll do it all over again. Maybe by then I'll have an American job, an American teaching license, and American school to study at, or something else Canada can't provide and the meaning of Thanksgiving will return. For now it's just an excuse to eat some good food with good friends. We'll watch some good sports and probably do something fun like taking hockey shots, polar bear swimming, bonfiring, playing games or going on outings together. For these things I am thankful but I would be REALLY thankful if I could stop being a charity case and become gainfully employed once again. Maybe even offer charity to someone else. That's what I'd LIKE to be thankful for.

Oh well, as usual I'll just have to hope for better days ahead.