May You Live In Interesting Times

Well, I'm all moved out of the mosquito den and into my on campus apartment at Taiyuan University of Science and Technology, hereafter to be called TYUST or TUST. I called it TUST before I saw that most people around here call it TYUST. Either or. No biggie.

So a LOT has happened in a short time and there's no way one blog post will cover it. In true international ESL modus operandi, everything has been done very last minute and with minimal foresight or planning. But, while this used to get me growly, I now expect it to happen. Cuz it always does. And if it doesn't, what a nice surprise! Manufactured positivity. Or what did I call it in my previous post? Positive negativity. I certainly didn't invent it, just trying it on and, like a good pair of shoes, it's getting more comfortable with wear.

My first class was scheduled for last Sunday, August 27, but there was a delay in signing the contract, so I couldn't teach. Now that I have taught that class, I realize what a break that was! After I had agreed to sign on, I was told by George, a fellow teacher here, (Chinese but he teaches English and speaks it well), that there would be 90 students in the class. Double majors meaning they're cramming two programs into one year. None of them major in English, so it's not a priority, or... even interesting, or... worth the effort of paying attention in class to some. I have now taught the class once and I had people using their cellphones, (not the translation programs either), doing work from other classes, daydreaming, no sleepers... yet. I always wonder why these students show up at all. I got them in Korea too. I often kicked them out or didn't mark them on the attendance, but they still showed up to do nothing. Ruddy mysterious!

George told me he was "shocked" that there are 90 students in the class, but I have hung out with Margie, another fellow teacher, (American. Been here off and on since '96. At this school!), and she told me the same class had 87 last year. What Margie told me, Saturday evening before the Sunday morning teaching time, was that even though I got a schedule from George that showed this class as a two-hour class, (long enough I'd say!), it's actually 4 hours long! So I went into the class half prepped. The biggest class I've ever had, the longest class I've ever had, and if not for dumb luck, I would have had to fudge two hours, the 3rd and 4th hours of a class the students were probably already tired of. Luckily, the first two hours were okay and because I did a little last second prep, the second two hours weren't the nightmare they could have been, but they were still an unsettling dream. One of those dreams that makes you "bolt upright" in your bed, as they say. But one you can still get back to sleep after. Thanks to Margie.

While I'm thanking Margie, I'll give her props for the absolute best thing about my new apartment: I've now had 5 nights of mosquito-free sleep. The first night was bad. Not as many as the old place but still enough to keep me on my toes. I got up 5 or 6 times to hunt down and kill some blood suckers. Stained the brand new, white painted walls in a few places with my blood. But on the second day here, Margie took me out to show me around the campus and give me an idea of where to catch the bus to the North Campus, where I was going the following morning for an 8 o'clock class. She mentioned a good, odorless mosquito plug-in killer that she uses with great success. Mine didn't work. So I bought one and it worked like a hot damn! I have all morning classes here so sleeping during the night is a must. And I can do it once again! Yeehaw!

Another great thing about this apartment is I can go to the fridge, stand directly in front of it, and put in or take out food. I don't have to reach in left handed from the side like I did in my narrow, sideways walking kitchen. On the other hand, (ar ar), this place LITERALLY has everything but the kitchen sink. I don't have a kitchen sink! I didn't even notice the first time I looked at it. So I now fill a big tub of water in my shower, wash the dishes in that and rinse them under the bathroom tap. Spaghetti strained over the bathroom sink. I hung the strainer on the bathroom wall! Veggies or fruit I need to wash, same thing. It's something I can adapt to but very odd.

Overall, I like the new place better than the old one. It's smaller but it feels bigger because I use every room. I don't have the useless living room or master bedroom here. The place, like the old place, was a filthy mess when I moved in. Everything I touched left a stain of grease dust on my hand. You know the crud that sticks to everything when someone has cooked with lots of oil on super max blast furnace heat and left the windows open to let in the dusty, smoky, polluted air of Taiyuan, the coal capital of China. And the feng shui was in the negatives. I had to move several things around to better spots so they'd be more useful and to uncover the limited outlets in the apartment. And it seemed, almost as if planned, everything was just not quite the right fit.

I moved a cupboard from one room to the little kitchen balcony add-on. But before that I had to move a table that was blocking up the kitchen traffic. This manoeuvre was one that would not require the skill of one who knows anything of wind, water or Taoism, just common sense. They were in the wrong places. But no sooner did I move them than I realized why. The cupboard, or cabinet, a thin metal, door locking unit that could have been used for books, clothes, almost anything, was a certain measurement wide. I measured the patio. It was wider. I assumed it would fit. Me being a rookie to China as yet. It turned out that my measurements, (I'd purchased a measuring tape the day before and was very well aware of how to use it), were faulty. Faulty based on an incorrect assumption of verticality here in China. You see, the walls of my hastily added balcony, slash kitchen without a kitchen sink, were not vertical. They actually were more of a v shape. So the cupboard or cabinet or whatever you want to call this thing, fit at the top, but as it got closer to the floor, it was snugger and snugger and then didn't fit. I tried to move it the easy way, but it was impossible because it JUUUUUUUST didn't quite fit. So I lifted it up and slam dunked it down to where it is now, (and probably forever after), will be. The bottom of the cabinet didn't hit the floor. It wedged immovable about 3/4 of the way down. But that's just fine. I am storing cookware and produce in the cubby hole beneath the cupboard that has created it.

The table that I removed from the makeshift, added on kitchen, was juuuuuuust a little too wide to fit into the bathroom. But I needed it to be the place where I washed my dishes. So, I removed the bathroom door. This was no mean task, let me tell you. It required the acquisition of proper tools and a LOT of muscle work where technical work failed. But I got it done.

Next was the old kitchen cabinet. It was located just outside the kitchen and could only be accessed by closing the "kitchen" door and then opening the cabinet door. It had plates and cutlery and such in it. There was also a curtain in the way that blocked the whole kitchen off and in summer will probably keep the whole apartment MUCH cooler if drawn. So this big beast had to be moved. I thought it might be good for a wardrobe in my bedroom. So I emptied it and dragged it to the doorway. It juuuuuuuuuuuuuuusst about fit, but not quite. I had to carry it in horizontally, which required some muscle, but I got it done. Then I started putting clothes into it. They juuuuuuuust about fit, but not quite. I had to take all four doors off this cabinet, and believe you me, this job was arduous and sweaty! But I got it done.

Then there was the computer room. Where I am now. The room from whence I removed what was to become the kitchen cupboard. It had two desks in it. One mostly glass desk designed for a computer and one wooden desk. I like wood better than glass and because my desktop screen juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust about fit under the top row of the glass desk, but didn't, I decided to use the wooden desk as my main computer desk and the glass computer desk as just storage. I have my rice cooker on it now. It's basically useless otherwise because of its close, but no cigar measurements.

The measurements of EVERYTHING here are just off by a few millimeters. I find it hard to believe that that isn't a diabolical ploy by the university to insert cameras throughout my apartment and live stream my struggles online or on live TV as, (perhaps), The Chinese Water Torture of Today. I can hear the Chinese TV tag lines now. "What would a foreigner do in an apartment with literally everything but the kitchen sink?" Tune in Thursdays to find out!

But that's just my paranoia. Right? Otherwise, after a MASSIVE clean-up, this place is actually better than the old place and infinitely cheaper, being free. I sleep practically mosquito free, I can reach into my fridge without contortions, I have a full King sized bed, hard as a rock, but comfortable otherwise, I have a shower that is enclosed and you don't need to turn on, and then wait for, the hot water to use, (the bathroom sink is the same for washing dishes, though... it IS the bathroom sink), and I have easy chairs! Two of 'em right in the living room! This makes my living room far more useful than my old living room. I've actually used it several times already!

The patio/kitchen will be good for my electric bbq too.

There ARE some minuses. Aside from what I have told you. The internet is the biggest. I was told, (by George), that the internet is pretty good here. Well it's not. The original internet I got was absolute shit. They tried to con me into accepting it, but failed. So they got me a new TP Link, which is STILL worse than the crappy internet I had at my old place. I told them I can just transfer my internet from my old place to here, since it's paid up till November, but they get all mealy mouthed about it when I mention this. "Well it's not convenient. It's difficult for us..." I think they want me in their wifi domain so they can keep track of where I've been. Why else would they be so opposed to my getting my own wifi, AND paying for it?

I tried today to watch the first NFL game online. I got it for close to 3 quarters resetting every once in awhile, but it just shitcanned after that. Didn't get to see the final quarter. Same goes for every Kia Tigers game I try to watch. This is Korean baseball and is more readily accessible without the VPN. I STILL can't get a whole game without several dropped signals and reboots. I find unplugging my router, then plugging it in again, might get rid of some hitchhikers, but it doesn't cure the absolute abysmal wifi offered here.

I will try yet again to get my old wifi, which had its problems, hooked up here. We shall see what happens.

I have low hopes to upgrade the terrible internet here because I've been told by several students that other students, (not them), know a way to hack into any internet signal within their range. They have a password breaking program that is really good. This is why every email or internet or anything they give you is bizarrely complicated. My password, without my consent, was set, by the IT guy at 1234567890. How fucking hard is THAT to hijack?

But I'm lead to believe that these code breakers will break harder codes than that. So I don't know if it's worth getting all steamed up about. Still, I have to believe my OWN internet with my OWN password would be better. I will work on them to try to get that. Yes, I am trying very hard to NOT accept free internet and get PAID internet. Because... China.

I have students from my class of 90 sending my WeChat notifications. At least I think they're from my class of 90. We opened up a group convo room and people have contributed to it. New people. Who want me to add them. I don't know who they are. I don't add unless I know who you are. Because of bad spammers in China. I think I've already pissed students off for this. "Where is David?" "David is in bed early." Why won't David accept my friend request." 90 people. Wanting to chat. Sorry, not getting paid for that. If you want me to add  you, send a friend request that says, "I am in your class." Don't just send your Chinese name. I have had several student do that and several spammers do that in the last week. The students will get all pissed off at me, I'm sure. But whatareyougonnado?

People who can't find the book online to buy. Management who won't help me in my navigation of the new job sites. Students who try to help but are being a little TOO helpful and asking me to give them things to copy for the whole semetre. I still haven't been told the starting and ending dates of the semester and am sure I won't be told till the last week. So it is impossible to distribute an accurate curriculum, syllabus or schedule. Certainly not handouts that need to be copied! I have to tell the very helpful students that I am handicapped by the administration. I hope they are okay with that. It's nothing new to me.

On the bright side, I'll get a good long winter break. I'm looking SO forward to it! I will likely be gone before December is out. And won't be back until sometime in Feb. Hopefully after the Olympics are over. But exact dates are not known and won't be until the day before. I can't buy tickets for the Women's hockey final because I might have to be in China to work. I may have to be on a flight from Korea to China the day Canada beats Sweden for the world curling gold, right around the corner from where I used to live, because people just can't plan ahead here. I think this is going to be excruciatingly frustrating! But it's all part of the job.

On the not so bright side, the U.S. and North Korea could be locked in an Olympian struggle of their own by then. This will put a massive damper on the Olympics, I'm sure. Residents of Korea assure me there is nothing to fear, but there are daily notifications of the defiance that has been the M.O. of North Korea ever since we've all known them.

I'm not going to tackle this one. It's a tough one. But I know, from living in Korea, that the North is childishly inconsolable when they observe things that they perceive as provocative. The South has tried to be absolutely humble and Jesus-like in their "Sunshine Policy" toward the North and they have been viewed as foolish and weak because of it. I would absolutely love to see things settled through diplomacy, but it's going to take more than Dennis Rodman to accomplish this feat. I fear even the rebound Worm couldn't actually get this done.

So where does that leave us? As the man says, "May you live in interesting times." I think things will be getting interestinger and interestinger as the weeks, months and maybe even years go by.

That's just my humble opinion.