Ow My Ass!

Might as well start this one now with the memory of getting the wrong end of the pineapple still freshly chafing my sphincter. It was a matter of time. If you've kept up with the blogging, you know I've been treated pretty shabbily here by my employer Huasheng of Taiyuan. And as I saw the wheels coming off all around me, I chose to remain with them despite EVERY other employee quitting. I was warned by well-meaning co-workers, but I thought I'd try to soldier on because I JUST DON'T WANT TO CHANGE JOBS AGAIN! Why oh why dear LORD can't I find a job that's even half way decent in the ESL racket??!!

Just a brief recap: I started here in 2016 after abandoning the Renmin nonsense. I had a visit with friends in Jan. of 2017 in Korea and came back to move from Beijing to Taiyuan into my mosquito breeding apartment. I'd share a tour of it here but I still don't know how to make the movie file small enough to be shared on Blogger. Anyhoo, it was big, nice, cheap and a thousand times better than my hostel room in Beijing. So I was happy. I was interviewed by Josh and Faith and they told me good things about Huasheng. The best thing was that they don't mess with you. You have complete classroom autonomy. Something very important to a guy like me who employs far too modern, (and effective), teaching techniques for the "traditional" education system of China. They don't have an alphabet so they have to memorize characters. They get used to memorization and that's the way they end up learning Errrr verythang! But it's not good for natural English acquisition.

I GOT free reign in the classroom for the first half of my contract with Huasheng. I had small classes too. The only class I was micromanaged in was a class of three kids that was an add-on to my schedule. We used a book that suited their teacher's style, not mine. Their teacher was a Chinese gal named Zoe. She was nice. Joshua's wife. But she taught the traditional, Chinese way. Well, the two boys responded WELL to my teaching methodology, which was a departure from the boring book, but the girl was quiet. In the end the boys quit because they couldn't afford the class and the girl stayed. But her father came to class one day and asked me about her. I told him to ask her if she really wanted to study English, (knowing that she SUPER didn't!). He did, and that week was her last. This will come up later. Remind me if it doesn't.

So, yesterday I was told I needed to teach a class that I'd taught once before. Well, "taught." I was told by one person I needed to teach 5 12-year-olds writing and reading. I got to the class and asked Diana, the owner of Huasheng, what she wanted me to do and she said, "They want to learn listening and speaking." Then the students started arriving. Then 3 parents for every student arrived. All female, of course. The dreaded mothers. And maybe a few Aunts? I dunno. Then Diana and her team started arranging the classroom into a giant circle. The students and the parents were sitting there and Diana kept glancing at me expectantly. I was told I just had to teach a lesson. I chose a lesson from an online site I like about a Chinese guy who lost an expensive engagement ring in a restaurant and it was handed in by an honest patron so he bought 500 people free noodles. Shan Xi province is notorious for noodles so I thought this would be a good lesson. It had grammar exercises, speaking, listening, reading and writing exercises. The kids all said they liked it and they used the vocab and grammar points well in their lesson.

But this was not just an evening where I was supposed to teach a lesson even though that's all that I had been told. No, I was to sell a product on the night. Diana gathered everyone and made a massive speech like the commencement of the Olympic Games or something and then turned to me. I shrugged and said, "Diana, I have no idea what you said or what you want me to do here." Brilliant! Now the parents think both the owner and the teacher are morons! She then talked a LOT more in Chinese and then most of the mothers left and I was told to teach the lesson. I had to advanced kids, two intermediate kids and one very beginner boy. That took me 2 minutes to ascertain. So I set my level appropriately and taught the lesson. I had positive reactions and participation from all but the one glaring mother who remained behind. I don't know her story.

Last night I had the low student, (who I worked one on one with on the pair work cuz no partner was his level), one of the intermediates and a new boy. Three of the students, including the high level students, who obviously enjoyed my lesson the most, were missing. I was told the week before that their textbook, "Go For It" was finished by all of them. I looked through it and the topics seemed okay but it was a bit grammar and vocab heavy. I decided not to use it since they'd completed it. DUH! Well, this week the students had NOT completed it. That's the new story. In fact, some of the parents... oh shit, if you are an ESL teacher you know where this is going and it's a nightmare, suggested that I teach the book. I didn't think this was a terrible idea even though it wasn't the best. The topics were commonly used in good ESL environments. So we started on the book, which was NOT what I had planned. I noticed the answers were coming too easily and sure enough, two of the three students had the book and the answers were filled in. The new guy had forgotten his book, but had also studied the same stuff. I was then told that some mother or other had suggested that I RE-teach the book the students all used in their other English class. Taught by a Chinese person. Sometimes good, sometimes not. I dunno in this case. Not the re-teaching! NEVER good! Abysmally ignorant educational philosophy! Moronity! But their teacher, I have no idear. What was stupid was this whole Mother-suggested, micromanaged class. Then the height of stupidity: in the car on the way home, Sara, who had stood in the classroom the whole ill-fated lesson says to me, "The students say your lesson was too easy." Do you think it might be because I was teaching them something they had done in the classroom the day before? But this is how a poorly managed ESL school works. The owner desperately tries to use the stupid suggestions from parents, the students complain because the suggestions were stupid, then the parents complain to the school or just pull their kid out, then the teacher gets blamed. That's another new wrinkle to my contract: I will make 130 an hour and if the dynamic dipshits Diana and Liu find more students even though NObody wants to study at their "school," I get more. But, if a student is lost, my salary goes down.

With the translator, Sara there, and Diana sitting on a bed, and at the halfway break saying, "Not 10 minutes, 5 minutes!", I managed to get through the lesson. Why was Diana on the bed? Well it's a really good example of why Huasheng has an absolute shyte reputation in this town and why it only attracts bad parents and bad students. We got to the school, (the number 5 school where I had worked for the first part of my contract), and the building was locked. We got the key to the building and the CLASSROOM was locked. This has always puzzled me about #5 school, which is a very reputable school, and Huasheng, which is shyte. I had been locked out of the school several times before. Is Huasheng paying for classroom usage or just using empty rooms and paying nothing? Why would they be locked out so often? And why would #5 school tell them they can't use their school any more? (which is a fact even though, they ARE still using it)

I think they are just high jacking empty rooms for free. A brilliant money-saving technique by Huasheng! Many more to follow. So we got the security guard to open the school. Then, sure enough, the CLASSROOM had a NEW padlock on it. So we had to resort to a dorm room for a student that was empty. It had one desk and just enough chairs. So Diana had to sit on the bed. Which she did, scowling the whole time.

I had heard from students that I taught, and there weren't many of them, at #5 school that Huasheng and Diana were rip off artists. They had cheated the students and their families. They had lied about how they needed a lot of money to put into the education of the kids, but how it all went to pay for Diana's boy being educated in the U.S. Chinese gossip like anyone else in the world.

I had watched as several people, including Faith, the best English/Chinese foreign teacher co-ordinator EVER, just quit because of the crappy treatment at Huasheng. I kept on. As I say, I don't know why. I was told by others to jump ship and I was sure they were right. I'd heard horror stories aplenty of what Mr. Liu and Diana did to screw other workers but I just thought that maybe, somehow it would be different for me. Even though the first half of my contract included 4 visa runs paid for by me, (even though no other schools make foreign teacher pay for visa runs), a two month delay before your first paycheck they don't mention in the contract, and landlords in the area expecting an entire year of rent paid up front. I, with the help of the erstwhile Faith, was able to pay only 3 months, but after a move and all the other expenses, I was broke.

But I made it. I got through that tough part. Then there were two or three months when Huasheng had the tough part of paying me 15000 RMB. During that time EVERYBODY but me quit. Then, two months of not working. And not getting paid. Much. I got 2000 for July even though I taught a bit and my contract stipulates I should have received 3500 for it. I mentioned this to Diana on the night I'm writing about and she faked ignorance as well as she could after trying desperately to tell me that the August pay won't be until Sept. 15. I'm talking about July pay. August 15th I got 2000 and should have received 3500. It took about 20 minutes for her to stop acting like she didn't understand and say, (and we'll see if she actually does this or not), that she will look into this. I'll probably have to bring this up again when August pay is only 2000. That's how they roll here. No surprise. This absolutely elementary denial of fact, straight contradiction and getting angry when you are the one who deserves the anger are all considered brilliant business tactics here in China if Huasheng is any indication of the country's business.

But the nickel and diming I expected. What wasn't expected was a complete change of contract and a rigid sigmoidoscoposcapy for doing nothing but being a good, faithful employee. I didn't work (much), for two months even though I had offers because I wanted to honour my contract. I've remained faithful. I haven't broken the contract, though I could have. What do I get for that? The rodgering of the century. Here's how it went down:

I arrive at the appointed appointment time and see Mr. Liu go into another room of the Huasheng office to do an interview. Everybody who has ever worked at Huasheng has a shelf life of about 2 months or less. The interview went on for over an hour. I commented to Sara that it was a long interview for a short job. I don't know if she got that or not. I also saw Ms. Diana go into another room. The classic power tactic: let the other guy wait for you to establish some sort of fake authority. Fucking amateurs! I KNOW this was in response to my refusing to teach a bullshit sample class of 9 year olds to see if they liked the performance of the dancing bear enough to sign up for a class. I said that, due to our ongoing negotiations, I cannot teach this class because I am not under contract to you any more. Well this obviously pissed them off. I have to admit it felt good to get a little dig in, but I was to be vastly outdug.

The interview finished and I engaged in smalltalk with Liu for 20 seconds. How was the U.S. where you made SHIT TONS of money on kids camps that only the rich coal barons of Taiyuan could afford to send their children to? I didn't quite say that. He said it was good. I told him my summer was boring as shit waiting for work and getting daily transfusions by mosquitoes. Then he says, "There must have been some big misunderstanding. I was busy all day and didn't get your message till right now." I sent the message at 9 in the morning. It was about 6. Really? REALLY? you're THAT busy? First lie of MANY on the night.

He says you really misunderstand our position here. You are still under the same contract. You are not without a contract. So there was no reason to cancel the class tonight. The girls had a hard time telling the parents the class was cancelled. I didn't say, but that was HIS fault for, as he always does, ignoring my text message. Then he says, "What gave you the idea you are not under the same contract?" I said that the night before Diana had outlined a deal in which my contract totally changed and I was not going to make 15000 a month any more but 7 thou from the university, (TYUST), and only the max of 3000 from Huasheng. For the next 4 months that is actually 3000, 3000, 2000, and 2000. So 10 thou instead of the 60 thou we have a contract for. At first he tried to say it was just bad translation by Sara, but I told him, no, Diana wrote the figures down herself. Well he went ballistic. "How can you come in here and accuse, blahda blahda fake angera... I started foaming at the mouth and getting ready to punch his nose through the back of his head. I couldn't talk because of anger induced cotton mouth so I excused myself and got some water. I got back and we started again. I said to him, "Look, we are grown boys here, no need to play games or engage in office politics. I know I am here to negotiate and I'm not going to get extra. I'm going to lose money. I'm just here to find out how much I'm going to lose." He smiled at this.

Then we went into the "board room." Sufficiently late I guess they thought to repay me for cancelling the class cuz I just don't like to teach illegally while I'm not under contract. So Liu starts out with, "You are still under contract with Huasheng. You are still our employee and still will make the same salary." I said, "That's great! Okay meeting adjourned, let's go!" Everyone chuckled nervously then he said, "But, you said you are here to lose money. So let's continue..."

For what seemed like 3 hours, and might have been, Diana read a rough draft of my new contract rider, which was to be added to the TYUST contract even though it stated itself to be the contract with priority. Cart before the horse. I brought up this saying three times during the proceedings. I tried to get down to brass tacks to make the night shorter cuz I knew nobody in the room was being paid for this and I said, "Okay, with the rate you have told me Huasheng will pay, (8000 a month plus the TYUST 7000 to equal the contractual 15000 that they STILL lied to me and maintained I would be getting), and the hours available to you given the TYUST 16 hours a week, it works out to 500 RMB per hour, which is outrageous. I understand you're struggling, so I'm willing to try to make a compromise on the salary."

I was told to forget about that an listen to Diana. She went on and on for an hour mostly about small details in the contract that were obvious. Like, I now live in the free accommodation on campus at TYUST so Huasheng won't pay for my housing allowance any more. But before long it got into the guts of their ploy. "The year end bonus of at least 5000 RMB will be paid in Feb. You will be on leave so you will only receive 2000 RMB. That makes 7000. RIGHT but only if you pay me the fucking MINIMUM bonus! That went unnoticed, of course because nobody gets anything but. "Well, according to your contract with TYUST, you will be paid 7000 for that month, so we won't give you your bonus for finishing the one year contract with Huasheng."

Of course I told him that the 7000 from TYUST will be vacation pay. The 7000, or really what I had told Liu before should be MORE than 5000 given all the visa runs I'd done at my own expense and he said we'd negotiate when that time comes, would not be paid at all because I'd already be getting 7000 from the university. Apples and bowling balls, I told him. Again he got pissed off because another obvious cheat had been detected. So I plead for a while but he wasn't giving up so I wrote it on my paper.

Next I think it was the plane fare. The contract stipulated 12000 RMB for plane fare to be paid at the end of the contract. Well, the TYUST contract stipulates 14000 RMB so we won't pay you and we'll let you receive even more from TYUST at the end of your contract with them. I said, "Well that's going to be postponed for like 9 months because I signed my contract with them not even a month ago and I should get that from you in a few months." The response was direct contradiction. No, you won't  have your plane fare postponed. Why do you keep complaining? Why can't you understand our situation?"

Ummmm, YES, that plane fare will be postponed for a long time. What if I want to go home before then? They don't give a rip.

Then came another lie. Somebody, (they made up), had told them that TYUST classes are actually 45 minutes long. No, I have been told they are 50 minutes long; the schedule we BOTH have shows they are 50 minutes long; Margie, who has worked here since '96, says they are 50 minutes long; ALL ESL classes are 50 minutes long; "well no, somebody told us they're 45 minutes long."

I was trying to be affable, still not knowing THIS scam, and said, "Great, if that's the case, I teach a bit less. But it's not that big a deal 5 minutes." Well Diana knew a way to make it a big deal. She said, "So that means your 16 hour week is actually only 10.5 hours. This way you can work 9.5 hours for Huasheng." So I say, "Oh I get it, you're not paying me for breaks, bonuses or driving time." Let me point out, Liu, that you told me Huasheng is not saving money on this contract adjustment. I have a whole list of ways you are saving Huasheng money at MY expense. Again the feeble, "Well, you just don't understand our evil culture of greed. And angrily and with hostility shouting me down. That's awesome. AGAIN the faked anger at my inconsolable RIGHTNESS.

So they managed to extend my hours to almost 30 and with the driving time it'll be 40. I told them yesterday 40 hours is too much for a teacher. But driving time is considered unpayable time, just as sitting in a room translating and working very hard is considered unpayable time for Sara at Huasheng. And waiting for this endless meeting and driving me home is considered not payable time for the driver.

There is an 18 month MASSIVE bonus that was not mentioned in the whole proceedings. It's pretty obvious that this fish fence of a business with employees popping in and out every few days NEVER has anyone reach the 18 month mark so they never have to worry about this clause. But it's  a bonus I'll never see. I don't intend to work any longer than my contract for these losers, if that. I'll look at their contract, they promised it Friday, and I'll work, against my will, illegally AGAIN for them until that time. I'll probably see all kinds of bullshit and frankly, I think they want me to quit to save them the price of firing me. At least 5 times during his fake anger tirades Mr. Liu said, "We could always just end the contract now." and when I commented on how hostile he was, (which of course he countered with direct contradiction), I mentioned these comments. His response was that Diana had said this TEN times. So if you think Liu is the only villain here...

Back to Faith. She told me of a massive screw job she got from Huasheng and in particular Liu. She called him a "bastard" which was cute cuz she never swears. He IS a bastard, but Diana is also complicit in these shady dealings. The hardest part of the whole thing is they maintained the fantasy that I didn't see right through their obvious deception and tried to intimate to me how they wanted to maintain a long term relationship of trust and good will with me. When in fact, they want to maintain a long term relationship of conniving and cheating with me. Yet another employer who has mistaken my kindness for weakness. How could I have EVER NOT expected that in China? I guess I just have a habit of hoping for people to rise above their stereotypes. But am more often than not disappointed.

Okay, so at the end, I say to them that I have seen 1000 places go into receivership if I've seen one, when the owners surrender control to the parents. You have to trust your teacher. I have 20 years of experience, 6 recognized teaching certs, I've written two ESL books, I've had those books used with great success by other teachers, I've created hundreds of my own lessons and games which have also been used with success by anyone who has tried them, I've hobnobbed and workshopped with people in the industry, I've read and studied educational materials, I've taught at some of the best ESL schools anywhere, WHY would you not trust me? Why did you hire me?

This is what I ended with saying that letting parents decide my curriculum or sit in on classes or do anything but drop their kids off and fuck off was disrespectful to me. Back to my last year in Korea, where I lost all classroom autonomy and my two psychotic bosses started telling me to do everything wrong. Here we go again. Everything they're doing and asking me to participate in is the dying breath of a failing "school." Having the sample classes where I dance like a trained bear to amuse student is an obvious ploy of a failing school. Letting parents take charge - and invitation for disaster. Parents in the classroom? Ludicrous! But they're doing it all here and asking me to come along for the ride into the dusty depths of hagwon failure. I asked if they though Harvard ever accepted advice from students' parents or agreed to their professors teaching free sample classes. But they're too stupid to listen. This place will be out of business in a year unless Diana is ridiculously rich. And if she is, SHE OWES ME A TON OF MONEY!

I have agreed to teach ILLEGALLY AGAIN for three days for them. Tomorrow's class? I go to that abandoned school in the sticks of Taiyuan and teach 50 students. No idea of their level or what our goal will be. Liu said to get to know them then suggest something. For 50 people. Easy peasy, we'll read the dictionary and memorize definitions. After that "English Corner." I'm supposed to know what this means. I assume it's a less studious, less "traditional" fun English exercise. So I say, "So these are both for an hour? Well actually Diana says, 45 minutes. Maybe THAT'S where she got the mysterious 45 minutes from. In both classes students will be deciding on whether they want me as their teacher or not. Teachers, probably parents, Sara and Diana will also be there. Fun eh? Friday they tell me they will show me the contract in written form. It should have been done 2 weeks ago but when I said that Mr. Asshole, I mean Liu, just got fake angry and overvolumed.

I am almost sure I will read it and find it totally unacceptable. After that I may ask them to just let me transfer my visa to the uni I'm working at now or I may find YET ANOTHER job in this fickle field. Only time will tell.

So was that a scary tale, boys and girls? It is! Don't go to China to work! It can be a horror story!

Wait, there's just a bit more! I told you to remind me about the story of the girl who quit. There has been ONE student who has quit so far since I have been working at Huasheng. It was no coincidence that she was brought up as a last resort of a feeble mind at tonight's kangaroo court. At the very end Liu says, "Do you remember..." It was a girl who hated studying English. In that class that I hated teaching. The boring class with Zoe's curriculum. Her father came in one day and asked me what the future held for his daughter. I didn't lie to him, I just said, "Ask her." She had been quiet, as I said before, but also constantly tired and bored and given to minimalistic answers when prompted. It wasn't hard to tell that her father was wasting his money with this one. I did the right thing. Tonight Huasheng told me she was signed up for another two months of classes. To make me feel like there was something I had done to cost them money, perhaps to justify the theft of so much money from me.

I don't know, but it was pretty weak.

So, I think my choice boils down to teaching my 14-18 hour a week sched. at TYUST and working an extra 25-30 hours a week for the losers at Huasheng and getting paid about12000 RMB in total, OR working for TYUST, getting their 7000 a month and doing part time classes with mostly adults, mostly one on one and all at a better rate with no crap attached. 10 hours a week with THEM will net me 13000 RMB in total. And since they eliminated ALL of the bonuses I've been awaiting at Huasheng, I don't see much of a decision here.

Faith told me it might be possible to ask the uni for a raise since they ARE paying the lowest wage in China and they have two excellent teachers, if I do say so myself. I'll just wait and see.

A third option would be to just find another job. Three in a year! Yeehaw, my goal of stability sure isn't getting any closer!

Addendum: I was on my 4th beer when I started this. A little harsh, but not completely off the mark. Well, today I quit my job. (the day after this incident) I said that offer is unacceptable and I can't imagine you, with all the financial difficulties you are going through now, will be able to offer me what I need. I was just on my way up to the office of the foreign language department to ask if they could transfer my work visa to the uni and I got a message from Mr. Liu saying they will pay me 8000. That equals out to the 15000 a month of our original contract. It's what they promised me more than once. So now I have UNquit my job. But given this whole experience, I think I'll work to the end of December and then that'll be it. If the company survives that long.

Addendum II: I am also back to the drawing board looking for new jobs because I don't know yet whether they REALLY want me for the remainder of my contract or whether they're not just telling me they'll pay me what they promised in order to give them time to hire someone else, then turf me. For all I know, (I don't get paid for September until October 15th), come payday, they could just say the same crap about falling on tough times and not pay me at all or pay me the 2000 they want to pay me. NOTHING would surprise me here any more.

Addendum III: This is starting to look like my contract! It's now four days past payday and I haven't even been paid the 5000 for my work in July and August. What hope do I have of actually getting paid the full amount I'm owed on October 15th? I'd say very little. That being the case, every hour I work for these crooks, (which also includes 2 -3 hours of driving time), is an hour of free work. I applied to a couple places today. Got a response from one. Should be able to set up a Skype interview for tomorrow. This is looking more and more like I'll quit before September is out. The worst part about it is the Canucks are playing LA in Beijing on the 23rd and I just don't think it's wise to go. Tickets were a nightmare to get anyway. Even for Chinese friends. But then there seems to be an added challenge to almost everything I do here. Because... China!