In Credit Able!

 What did I say last post? That there'll be some stupid bank rule that will make cancelling my credit card difficult? Some number that won't be in English or a gulag-ish card cancelling office? Scoff! Guffaw! Chortle! Sometimes I am absolutely adorable! It was nothing so NON-diabolical and amateurish. The tangled webbing of the credit card trap bore a strong resemblance to the internet fraud and buggery that was the cause for cancellation. And it's up there with the best of my Korean banking tales of woe to be sure!

But let's begin at the beginning, shall we? I met my new supervisor Hyo Jeong on Friday at 2. We needed Aminur to translate our meeting because, as explained before, the only person in the English department who can speak English, my ex-supervisor Pyeong Hwa, had been moved undoubtedly to some other duties that require no English. It's not Hyo Jeong's fault, she says it's a burden. It's not Pyeong Hwa's fault, she is not thrilled with her new duties either. It's the austere, inflexible, positively Dickensian villainy of the management combined with the kindly, timorous over-obedience (not to say spinelessness) of the people beneath them. Or at least that's what I'm guessing because I've seen it so many times. The fact that I have to guess means I have no idea, and that's by design. Foreign teachers don't get to talk to management in universities over here because we're trouble makers what with our demanding proper educational procedure, efficiency and all. No, there are always buffers. Often quite useless, but by design. They are the people foreign teachers can talk to, but they have no ability to enact any meaningful change. Their one purpose is to tell us that we can't speak to management, and they take our suggestions and grievances to the higher ups like a used car salesman takes a request to lower a car price to the boss: "See the game Saturday?" "Oh yeah. That was a beauty, eh?" "Yeah. Yeah. Sure was." (goes back to the customer) "Well the boss is firm on that price but he did say he'll throw in an undercoating at 25% off!" I know all this... and yet being the eternal optimist, I go against all sense and sanity and give it a whirl anyway. All the time. And it just puts a target on your back. 

I wasn't going to say anything at our meeting about the stupid desk warming but before I could stop my mouth it was blurting out common sense and proper procedure. "I can't believe they truly intend for me to stay in the office when there is no work because that would make my pay minimum wage. I am making a fair wage for my hours of teaching, which is what I was hired for, and I'm making nothing for my hours as an office sitter, which is NOT what I was hired for. It's hard for me to believe that something so insulting is what was intended." I used the proven tactic of saying that universities in Korea USED to do this but none of them have done it for a long time. It's an out of date practice. At this point Hyo Jeong asked what schools I'd worked at and when I listed them, her whole demeanor changed. I've worked for some places that (although none deserved it) are highly respected in Korea. So while she was claiming impotence at the beginning of our meeting, she promised at the end to ask about allowing me to go home when I was not needed. Though I don't hold out any hope that it will happen despite my optimistic nature. All I will accomplish is tightening their surveillance on me. 

And it actually started that very day! I had asked Hyo Jeong for Monday off to do my banking in Seoul and she said she'd let me know the answer by the end of the day. I was there in the afternoon for the first time all week because I was awaiting an answer. At around 3:30 in storms Pyeong Hwa no doubt sent as an emissary to report on my truancy if she could witness it. She asks me if she can use my computer and starts calling people and setting  up Zoom and doing stuff that she really didn't need my computer for. Possibly this pop-in was also orchestrated for my benefit so that I could see the value of being in the office so as to let people in who want to use my computer. The first person to ever come into the office came in minutes after I had requested an end to the office sitting. I knew then I had no shot at getting that bullshit "policy" changed. 

However, while she was there, I asked if she'd heard from Hyo Jeong and she said she had and that she would tell the people in the office about my taking Monday off. Or at least that's what I heard. She may have said she would ASK the people in the office about my taking Monday off. But anyway...

I went to Seoul Sunday and met up with John and Danny, a couple Canuckian teachers like me and we had a few pints at Fat Albert's. Since Covid, things in Itaewon close down at 10 but I got a good amount of drinking in and had a fun night. Went to a lot of the places I like and saw some people I like. Next morning at 8:58 I get a phone call. It's Aminur. They got him to call me because nobody in the English department speaks any English. He said, "They told me to tell you that you can't have today off." I basically said, "Too late bitches!" So they told Aminur to tell me that it will be taken out of my holidays. I called them some nasty names and poor Aminur didn't deserve to be put in that position, but they'll do anything but talk to a foreign teacher directly about stuff like this. You know, stuff that defies logic. See if you can wrap yer brain around what they're doing here: I have August off, so they are going to make me go into the office August 31st to do nothing because I didn't go into the office today and do nothing. It's important to somebody that I show up to the office and do nothing from 9-6 every weekday. That person has probably never once thought of WHY it's important, it's just always been important and it can't change. 

What probably happened (and I KNOW I've seen this before) was at some point some dipshit heard someone in charge say that the foreign teachers are to work between the hours of 9 and 6 but they are only going to be teaching 15-20 hours. That dipshit assumed to "work between the hours of 9 and 6" meant to be AT work during that whole time. And the "rule" was born. Since then, nobody has had the balls to challenge it. This is what goes on in offices all over Korea and they blame it on population, the job market, history, culture, Confucious, but it just comes down to bosses power tripping and workers not standing up to them. 

So anyway, not a nice way to wake up. But I didn't feel as bad as I could have hangover-wise, so that was a plus. I cleaned up, packed up and had some Macbreakfast. That almost made me hurl, but then it almost made me feel good. It was a sweaty, muggy day anyway and I had a LOT of beer to sweat off so I figured I'd best get at it. I knew it would be no snap and I'd probably be at it for a few hours. If I wasn't in a cool room, I'd be sweating. 

I went across the street to my bank. The only place where I could do what I needed to do. I updated my bankbook, then showed the teller the monthly deductions from my account. Five of them from WSPAY then the new one from IDAMAT that hadn't yet appeared on my account but did on my phone. I explained that it was automatic fraudulent rebilling and the way to cancel it required a phone call that could not be completed from Korea. She told me that it was based in the Netherlands. I didn't care, I just wanted to stop paying every month. We were getting close to 200 bucks for nothing! So she said, as expected, "We can only issue credit cards here, we can't cancel them." I had gotten the card from this very bank. Could have been this very teller for all I know. I had to call a number. I said okay, let's call. So surprisingly, she did! And she got through immediately! She spoke in Korean for a minute then hung up. It had to be ME who called. She couldn't have just handed the phone to me? So she gives me a card with the number on it. I THANK her and leave the air conditioned bank. I try to think of somewhere quiet to sit so I can call. My phone volume isn't high and I can never remember how to turn it up, if I can. So I go to the alley where Fat Albert's is. There are a couple of benches nearby. I sat on one and called. "All lines are busy but your call is important to us. Press one if you want to continue waiting." But hey, it WAS in English. I pressed 1 about 80 times then someone finally answered. She says, "Sorry our lines are busy, please give us your phone number and we'll call you back." Musta been rockin' one of them 1950 Lilly Tomlin switchboards with no call display. THAT'S how important your call is to them. But I gave her my number. I had to take a leak. Mcdonald's coffee. So I started walking back to Mcdonald's and decided to take my phone out so that if they called, I wouldn't miss the call. Right as I pulled it out, the call came.

So I reverse direction and run back to the bench to get off the noisy road so I can hear the person I'm talking to. She asks what I'm trying to do. I tell her I want to cancel my credit cards. Oh, well I can't do that. This is not the right number. That's all, the bank teller gave me a card with the wrong number on it. It only wasted an hour of my time and sweat. No biggie. So I'm digging through my bag trying to find a pen and paper getting even sweatier and she says she'll text me the number. So I hang up and head to Mcdonald's. Upstairs where the bathrooms are only has a few people in it, so I grab a table and make the call. After the requisite phone gymnastics punching in 1 for English, your card number, pound and so on and so forth then I pressed zero for an operator. It took a while but not as long as the wrong number had taken. She answers and asks me what I want to do. I tell her I want to cancel the card. And I have two cards I want to cancel. Do I need to punch in the number of that one too? No she sees my other card. Why am I cancelling? So I go through the whole story again. As I'm doing so, about fifty people come up the stairs. I think they were having a birthday party or something. I kept asking her to repeat herself and she kept telling me to turn up my phone and I don't know how and am nervous that if I touch any button the call will end and I'll have to go through this all again. And the sweat is back. Even though Mcdonald's is air conditioned. 

So she argues with me saying I don't need to cancel. I said I just don't want a credit card any more. There were other problems. Like the other day I was buying something with the credit card for 180 something dollars and twice I got a message that my card limit was exceeded. So I had to use my bank card. She tells me, "Well it looks like you have about 700 dollars of charges that still haven't come out of your bank account." That worried me. I hadn't bought anything for 700 bucks. But that's probably what she was looking at. She said it was mostly ebay. It was a couple of Pettersson rookie cards for 150 bucks. A great deal and he's my new favourite player since the Sedins retired. The extra 30 bucks is shipping from the States. I sure hope I didn't find ANOTHER flaw here! It's not a good deal any more if you pay for it three times!

So she says she can also make me a new card and mail it to me. I say okay. She says where are you living? Is it still and I can just barely hear her but I heard the word Cheonan. They still had my old address. So she asks my new one. It's on my phone. But I don't know how to look through my phone without losing the call. So I'm digging through my bag looking for something that has my address on it and sweating profusely. I find banking stuff but it all has the wrong address too. I'm starting to get weird looks from some of the noisy Mcdonald's patrons who can sense my stress then I hear her voice from the phone. She's yelling. lol JUST EMAIL IT TO ME. I WILL TEXT YOU THE EMAIL. I thought she was gonna say, "What is your phone number," but she didn't. Thank heaven for small miracles. 

I got the email address and sent my address to the email address. I thought I was finished. I had planned on buying a few groceries before going home so I thought I'd better do that now. I hoped I'd get some confirmation that my address was received, but nothing came. I decided to go to Fat Albert's for a REAL burger. The one I had the day before was awesome! Plus they have gravy for the fries. Macdonnies doesn't compare. Jaimie Oliver would have been proud.

As I'm walking down the street, I check my mail one more time. There's something there. It's an email from my bank saying my email will not be received unless I confirm my email. If it is not done immediately the email will be dropped. There was a button that said "confirm" so I pressed it. The screen flashed a bit, but that was all. Was it confirmed? Was my address received? No idear.

I decide, screw it, I'm just going home. This is exhausting. I'm not shopping or even eating at Big Al's again. I'll probably find something somewhere else. I get almost to the subway when it hits me - I won't have a functioning bank card. The girl on the phone said my new card would arrive within 5-10 working days. I need money to get me through that time. Good thing I paid rent the day before! So I reverse and start walking back to the bank. Again, full backpack, muggy and hot, I was a soggy mess when I got there. I try my bank book in the bank machines. There's a whole new (and more complicated) interface on all the machines. Gone is the big "English" button that was the logical place to start. Now you hit "international service" and get some messages in Korean that don't seem to be the ones I need. So I try just putting the bankbook straight in and it works. It asks for my PIN and I put it in and THEN asks for my bankbook PIN. I don't remember ever making a bankbook PIN. So I guess and I guess wrong. I don't know I've guessed wrong until I go through the entire transaction and it says some message IN KOREAN like you put in the wrong PIN I'm guessing. So I go back upstairs to talk to the girl again. I waited about half an hour and got the same teller. I told her I THINK I cancelled my cards. But I need some money if I have no cards. So we try one of the cards. It's cancelled. So we have to use the bankbook. So I tell her I don't know my password for the bankbook. We have to change the password. That took a surprisingly long time! But I got it done. Imagine if I'd gone home and tried to take money out and the machine asked me for my bankbook PIN? I would have Kung Fued that machine! 

So now it's almost three and I can't go home before eating. I go to Fat Al's and tell JK the whole story. She's flabbergasted. "Why is it so hard?" she asks. The million dollar question. Why is everything an ordeal? I had a lovely burger with fries and gravy and a slow motion beer. The hangover kind. Then it started raining. I was trapped at the bar. So I had another beer. The rain stopped and I went home. I received several messages on the bus trip home. One was confirmation of my confirmation. So that was nice. I got a message saying my new card had been sent. Wow! Speedy! The latest message was at 9:30 (it's 12:15 now) saying that a transaction of 25.89 EURO was authorized yesterday. Then "error: Transaction suspension." I hope that means what I think it means. 

Now if only they could give me back the money that was stolen from me every month for the last 5 or 6 months...