Just Milling the Wind

 Promoter: Listen, we need one more song for the "Open Arms" album. What do ya got, boys?

Steve: I have a song I'm working on, but it's only half finished. 

Promoter: What's it called?

Steve: Doesn't have a name yet. Maybe something like "They Won't Break Me." 

Promoter: You say it's not finished?

Steve: Yeah. It has a good beginning, but I'm stumped.

Neal: I have a song I'm working on too. It's called "I'm On My Way," or maybe "On My Way." 

Promoter: Okay, that sounds promising. Can we hear it?

Neal: Nah it's not finished yet. I can't think of a good beginning for it.

Promoter: Well, here's an idea: We need to get this album out, boys! I'm feeling solid gold here! How about we put those two songs together? 

Steve: What? No way, that's crazy! I've heard the song Neal's talking about. It's pretty different from "They Won't Break Me." Completely different key, rhythm, everything.

Promoter: And for a crappy group, that might be a problem. But you guys are the best! Can't you write a complicated bridge, put the two songs together, make it trendy? This sort of thing is starting to catch on. Whatchamakallit... progressive rock? Right?

Neal: I'm sure I could do that, but the fans are gonna know no matter which title we use.

Promoter: Well that may be, but couldn't you throw in a line at the end, something like, "This is my escape," then just call the song "Escape?"

Steve: I dunno... The fans are probably gonna think it's just an extra song to fill out the album, aren't they?

Promoter: Yeah. I guess so. You're probably right. But hey, and I'm just putting this out there, if you don't like it, forget I said it, but we COULD make "Escape" the title of the album??? 

Neal: Hey, that's so crazy, it could work! Only one problem: I haven't figured out an ending for my ending.

Promoter: I'm sure you guys will figure something out...

Just listen to this song. The above conversation never took place. I just made it up. But ever since the summer of '83 when I listened to Journey "Escape" non stop, this song has been a mystery to me. It was a song I fast forwarded through when I first started listening to the album. Then as I got older and my music appreciation matured, it grew on me. I started fast forwarding through the overplayed hits instead. Now it's one (or let's be honest, it sounds like two) of my favourite songs from my youth. 

I can't explain why this song has come up in my life recently, but I've woken up singing it or with it rolling around in my brain several times during this past month while I've been trapped in Korea on my latest staycation. It could be related to the fact that Journey "Escape" was virtually the soundtrack of the best vacation I ever had. Summer vacation with the Pillas in 1983 in Penticton. What a great family and what a great vacation that was! Camping, going to the beach, arcades with Grant, go-carts in the rain, water slides, "Fast Times" at the drive in, tragically lost summer love, and endlessly cruising in Darren's yellow car up and down the Penticton strip listening to this album over and over. 

It might have been another one of those internet challenges that has thrust this old song upon me. Someone posted, "What is an album you are positive you've listened to over 100 times?" This was the one that instantly came to mind. 

Or it might just be the weather. Who can say? The normal Monsoon June and July here was more of the heat wave most of the world had, but half of August Korean weather has been playing catch up. So because it's raining almost every day, I'm not only stuck in Korea (because no travel during Covid) I've been largely stuck in the apartment. I surf the net, I read, I write and I do a lot of thinking. This is the sort of thing I think about.

What about you? Can you name any songs that grew on you like this? I remember Dire Straights "Brothers in Arms" listening to "Money For Nothing," "Walk of Life" and fast forwarding over some of the lesser known songs. Now I fast forward through those two songs and "Your Latest Trick" has become my favourite on the album. That and, again, the title track, "Brothers in Arms." "Thriller" was like that. Purple Rain. Synchronicity. 

Do you suppose, and I'm just putting this out there, if you don't like it, forget I said it, but is it possible that some songs take longer to appreciate? And who hears the songs of an album more than the artists? By the time they've released their albums, they've heard all the songs so many times, they are probably tired of the hits. Do you reckon that could be why so many albums are named for songs that aren't the best ones on the album? Or at least they aren't to begin with. No? 

Probably not. There aren't that many like that. I'm just letting my mind get carried away. But it helps to put it down on paper. Well... that's what USED to help. Now it helps to put it in my blog. Therapeutic writing. Getting it off my chest. It's been the genesis of some great writing! One example comes to mind because I've been reading on rainy days too and one of the books I've been really relating with has been "Notes From The Underground." 

If I were to rename this blog, I might call it, "Milling the Wind." Dostoyevsky wrote, "But what can one do about it if the direct and sole purpose of any intelligent man is idle chatter, that is, deliberately milling the wind?" He also wrote, "But there's something else: why, why exactly do I want to write? If it's not for  the public then couldn't I very well commit everything to memory without putting pen to paper? Quite so; but it will turn out somehow grander on paper. There's something inspirational about it, one can be more self-critical, and it makes for better style. Besides, perhaps by writing things down I really shall find relief."

To make this post just a bit more topical, I suspect that the Underground Man, were he alive today, might refuse a Covid vaccine out of what he calls "superstitious spite." If you'll indulge me a long quotation, here's the very beginning of the rantings of the Underground Man: "I'm a sick man... I'm a spiteful man. I'm an unattractive man. I think there's something wrong with my liver. But I understand damn all about my illness and I can't say for certain which part of me is affected. I'm not receiving treatment for it and never have, although I do respect medicine and doctors. What's more, I'm still extremely superstitious - well, sufficiently (enough) to respect medicine. (I'm educated enough not to be superstitious, but I am superstitious.) Oh no, I'm refusing treatment out of spite. That's something you probably can't bring yourself to understand. Well, I understand it. Of course, in this case I can't explain exactly to you whom I'm trying to  harm by my spite. I realize perfectly well that I cannot 'besmirch' the doctors by not consulting them. I know better than anyone that by all this I'm harming no one but myself. All the same, if I refuse to have treatment it's out of spite. So, if my liver hurts, let it hurt even more!"

There are obvious parallels and obvious differences between the ailment of Dostoyevsky's character and people who don't want the Covid vaccine. Fist of all, he has a sickness while shot deniers are not sick, they're denying prevention, not cure. Secondly, the idea that his liver trouble can only harm Underground Man while Covid 19 is something that can harm others around us. Liver disease is not contagious, Covid 19 is. Believe it or not, I have seen comments written on Facebook friends' posts about Covid saying, in intelligently written English, that Covid 19 is not contagious. Just a few days ago I saw one!  

This brings up one of the parallels: that there are people, a lot of people, (and I include myself amongst them) who know damn all about Covid the way U.M. knows nothing about his liver disease. But that hasn't stopped some folks from clinging to aging arguments against its treatment rather than, you know, researching those arguments. I read another person saying that Coronavirus isn't even a virus. This is related to the first silly statement I believe in that the Coronavirus, which is a virus, hence it's name, causes Coronavirus 19 disease, which is not contagious. Polio was not a virus either. Poliovirus was a virus. It lead to Polio. If you wanted to be a dick, you could use this minute detail to pretend that you are smarter than other people and say, "Polio wasn't contagious." That is probably what dipshit who posted on my friends Facebook page was trying to say. Coronavirus disease isn't contagious, it's the virus that's contagious. Okay you pedantic prick, maybe you know something that other people may or may not know, but you have no point that is germane to the argument so shut the fuck up.

You know people like that are just posting comments like that to appear more knowledgeable on the subject than others more than anything out of spite. Other arguments like it's a new virus or the vaccine has not been researched enough to be considered safe are aging too. We know that coronaviruses like SARS and MERS, have been researched for years. In fact, scientists identified a human coronavirus in 1965. So over 50 years of research has contributed to development of the Covid 19 vax. It's not something that just started in the Wuhan days. Also, with the FDA's approval of the Pfizer (and soon Moderna) vaccines, it means they have been found to be safe and effective by the FDA. Before you can guess the next spite argument, no, not all of the 15,000 or so employees of the FDA are scientists and doctors, but many are. And all but two of the FDA's commissioners since the mid 60's have been MD's too. So they know a little more than "damn all" about the things they approve.

While I DO agree that there is in many people an almost god worship for doctors that could be characterized as superstition, as experiments with placebos have consistently shown, and I think it may be as strong as ever despite damning findings against the medical profession and big pharma that seem to be in the news more than ever, I think, due to the serious nature of a worldwide pandemic, the doctors and drug companies might be worthy of our trust in this case. Not in SO many others, but in this case, I think so. Big pharma and a lot of doctors are screwing us, and I feel like a voter saying, "Well maybe THIS time things will be different," before casting a vote for a Giant Douche or a Turd Sandwich in some country or another, but, in the case of Covid 19 and the vaccination, I think this time things are different. And I have no evidence for this, but I assure you this has nothing to do with my recent vaccination. I do HOPE more that I'm right, but don't feel any surer. 

Perhaps, as with music, the tunes that Covid vax opponents are singing will become tiresome and other tunes that they didn't like before will grow on them. It has been a year and 8 months since the beginnings of the outbreak. I've become tired of music much faster than that!

Yet I am seeing just as much, if not more of the arguing between family, friends and strangers online over the whole Covid 19 controversy. I still continue to see it dominating news sites as well. I am starting to get one of those feelings of, "I wonder if this isn't pushing some much bigger, more important world issues out of the public eye." This happens. A lot. My last post comes to mind as one of the issues that we should be hearing more about: Taiwan. 

I am wearing my mask no less than I did before I got vaccinated. I am doing it for others. I understand and agree with people who hate the masks. But I haven't heard any new or convincing arguments against them, so I'll continue to wear them. I AM becoming more and more convinced that the vaccine is the real deal and it seems to me that most of the people who are still standing in opposition might not be as convinced of the arguments they're offering as they once were, but they're loathe to do anything that would appear as an admission of error or bad judgment. And I see people who I think are well aware that they are losing the vax argument, they just refuse to capitulate out of spite. 

Interestingly, there's a portion in "Notes From the Underground" in which sleep is described as an ESCAPE into the sublime and beautiful. With all the rain (I love sleeping when it rains) and nothing to do, I've escaped to the sublime and beautiful a lot too. I just wish they had more toilets there...