Monday, April 16, 2012

Vancouver Concussed

(Sung to the tune of "Daniel" by Elton John)

Daniel is ridin' tonight on the plane
I can see the red tail lights heading to L.A.
Oh and I can see Daniel waving goodbye.
Well it looks like Daniel. Guess it could be that other guy.

Henrik says, "Daniel my brother you are, (6 minutes), younger than me
do you still feel the pain? Are there stars in your eyes?
Your eyes are fine! They've seen more goals than mine.
Daniel your a star and we need you tonight.

The Stanley Cup is pretty this time of year.
Daniel says it's the best thing he's ever seen
oh and he oughta know he came close enough.
Lord I miss Daniel. Oh I miss him so much."



If you don't know the story, Daniel Sedin got gooned by elbow armour to the head thrown by Duncan Keith in retaliation for something he did earlier in a regular season game in Chicago. There's a click you can make on the vid above to see Daniel's hit on Keith that led to this. Daniel Sedin hasn't played since and his team, the BEST TEAM IN THE NHL, the Canucks, is losing to the L.A. Kings 3 games to nil in their first round playoff series. The Kings who almost set a modern day record this season for lowest scoring games both for and against. They've scored 9 goals in three games and the Canucks who won the President's trophy for the second year in a row as the team who had the best regular season record, have scored 4 goals total in three straight losses. They did not lose three straight games in the whole 82-game season including the 8 or 9 games they played without Daniel. Helluva time to start!

But back to Daniel. He came out and played most of the power play resulting from the elbow to the head, but then somebody must have asked him who the highest scoring Swedish defenceman in history was and he said Borje Salming instead of Nick Lidstrom. "Oh that's definitely consistent with concussion-type symptoms. Yank him!"

Now I'm not exactly sure that's what happened and far be it from me to complain about overprotection or ANYthing for that matter, BUUUT, seems to me the NHL's position on the new fad called the concussion might be erring on the side of INCREDIBLE overcautiousness and incredibly after-the-fact.

First of all why does nobody seem to know exactly what the hell the policy is on concussions and who determines them and how long before the player can come back and how many fingers you should hold up when you ask "how many fingers am I holding up?" I heard that Daniel has a sore neck and had a headache. You think? Did you see that hit? But does that definitely mean he'll be a slobbering stalk of celery later in life if he plays the must win game four on Wednesday EVEN IF HE GETS HIT IN THE HEAD AGAIN? Don't bullshit me here, that question can NOT be answered with science. It's just a bunch of people saying, "Well, just in case..." And by "people" I don't necessarily mean people who understand hockey or have ever even seen a game in their lives. They just might be the same people who are trying so hard to get the fighting out of hockey. And they seem to be winning! Why are they winning???

It's my understanding that they hook the players up to all kinds of computer equipment and get them to ride the bike or run on the treadmill or bail hay on the coach's farm and then they keep those figures, (whatever the hell they are measuring), on file. THEN when a guy on the other team who is a mediocre player who wants to make an impact, literally, in the only way he is capable and starts swinging his elbows like Dennis Rodman in the key and hits somebody in the head with one they take the victim out of the game "for his own protection." They fine the elbow thrower an amount he can pay with the quarters under his knuckle tape. Then they take the victim back to the coach's farm to do some hay bailing again and if those mysterious figures vary from 8 months ago in pre-season well just to be on the safe side we should assume the variation is consistent with concussion-type symptoms. This is just my understanding of it, I could be a little off.

I am all for the protection of the players, don't get me wrong. But it seems to me that the NHL's close the gate after the cows escape policy on concussions reeks strongly of lobbying, ($$$), from elbow pad manufacturers. It seems like a, (sorry bout this but), no-brainer to me! Elbow pad rules need to change. I've never played in the NHL but I have played THOUSANDS of hours of hockey in my day. Of all of that maybe .001% was played while wearing elbow pads. I hated them. They interfered with my range of motion, my shot, my checking AND my elbowing! And I'll tell you this: I have never had, nor have I ever seen a single solitary incident where a guy has said, "Wow, I sure am glad I had my elbow pads on there! Otherwise I mighta got hurt." But those were the OLD elbow pads. The ones built for the totally unnecessary protection of the elbow. The soft ones. The NEW elbow pads are exactly ZERO more protective of the wearer's elbows but about a bazillion times more dangerous to the poor schmuck who takes one to the head.

Do you think the players don't know this? Do you think the manufacturers don't? This is just Bobby Clarke hacking Valeri Kharlamov's ankle all over again. It's no different than the NFL, (and for those who know football, let's be honest, ALL football), and their bounties for injuring opponents. See those stickers on college football players' helmets? They're not for helping opposing players up in a sportsmanlike manner.

In just about anything, unfortunately that includes sports, there will be cheaters. I have seen some SHAMEFUL

elbow flailing in the few games I've in this year's playoffs. This year the league needs to suspend guys for intent to injure. For many games! Many games could mean the entire playoffs. Do THAT a couple times and you'll see guys go back to good old stick swinging again. Then at the end of the season and before next season, (if there IS one), the league needs to take a PROactive approach to this black eye on the game. Stop the players from getting concussions for crying out loud. New and softer elbow pads. And in the name of Walter Gretzky would somebody PLEASE get it together on the concussion diagnoses. This is the playoffs. Players play hurt. We need to know the difference between, "He's feeling a little off his game," and "He will endanger his future faculties if he plays."

4 goals in 3 games. Oh I miss Daniel. Oh I miss him so much!

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