Remember That 700 Billion We Gave You?

I recently heard Bernie Sanders propose an end to all student loan debt in the U.S. and it got my mind a-whirring. Amongst the cries of socialism from the right and the instant shot in the arm, not to say adrenalin shot directly to the heart, this would be to the American economy (not the one Trump trumps on and on about that is doing so well for the rich, the REAL economy that is sucking for everyone BUT the rich) the main source of that a-whirring in my mind was a possible chance to make up for the most colossal of missed opportunities in history by the American public back in and around the stock market meltdown of 2008.

You all know what I'm making extremely complex sentences about... sort of. The 700 billion dollar bank bailout. Remember that?  Well by some accounts it has continued since and has reached the staggering total of 29 trillion dollars, not the MEASLEY 700 bill. you poor suckers thought you had forcibly given to the banks. But think about that sentence for a moment and you will see the monumental missed opportunity of which I write. No? Okay I'll help you: concentrate on the words "bank," then "give," then "forcibly," then "poor suckers." Did that help? Okay if the penny still hasn't dropped, I'll just have to do something a bank would never do and GIVE IT TO YOU. Still? Nothing? Good Lord if you haven't gotten it by now you almost deserve the ass rape you are getting from your banks/government!

Rhetorical question: When was the last time a bank gave anything to anybody? It's rhetorical because the answer is known by everyone. Banks give nothing to anyone. That's what makes them banks! They use the word "give" when they arrange loans for people, businesses, countries, but that word loses more of its meaning in direct proportion to the amount of interest and frustration the banks enjoy subjecting customers to. So why, taxpayers of the United States, why would you even consider giving your money to the banks?

Now I know there were a lot of carefully chosen words that might have mislead you back in 2008 like calling the situation a "state of emergency" and calling the banks "too big to fail" and calling your money "the country" or "America," but you should have been able to see that it wasn't THE COUNTRY helping the desperately needed banks get out of hard times they had innocently fallen upon, it was your crooked government helping the highly unnecessary banks by generously GIVING them huge piles of YOUR MONEY! It's been 11 years so for those of you who haven't come to that realization as yet, please stop reading and go back to your colouring books. For the rest of you, all is not lost. There may be a way to right a wrong yet.

When I went to university, a bank in Canada okayed 5000 dollars a year for me to attend at the pleasure of the good people of Canada. I know what you're thinking, but, no, it was not a bank giving me anything. We just established that they never do that. It was the taxpayers of Canada, through an unnecessary bank, granting a poor kid some dough to better himself through education. Now here's just one of many reasons why I call banks useless: in my second year, the bank took it upon itself to reverse the decision of the taxpayers, not to mention the amount, and LOAN me $3700 instead of GRANT me the $5000. And they broke this news to me 3/4 of the way through my school year. I had already taken around 3700 of emergency loans from my school by that point so all I could do was pay them back, quit, and fail the entire year. Yes, I was given money through the bank, then the bank changed its mind and turned that gift into a loan. Banks DO that! Why can't people? Can you guess where I'm going from here?

The way I see it, the people of the United States still have a chance, albeit retroactively, to treat the banks in the same shabby manner they have treated every one of us over the years! It's time to inform them that that 700 billion back in '08 wasn't actually a gift, but a loan, and it's now time to talk terms.

OH PLEASE let me be the one who writes the letter to the banks! Or maybe a phone call...

Ahem, Ah heh heh heh hem!!! The following should be read in the voice of Lilly Tomlin's telephone operator, Ernestine.

One ringy dingy. Two ringy dingies. A gracious good afternoon! Ha-have I reached to party to whom I am speaking? Mi-Mister Banks? Lovely! Good afternoon Mr. Banks, my name is Ernestine and I'm with the Bank of the United States Taxpayer. We are going to need you to go ahead and set up an account with us today. I beg your par - Oh I assure you, Mr. Banks I'm deadly serious! As serious as a Wall Street heart attack! (snort)

D- Do you remember that 700 billion dollars we gave you back in 2008? Well, given financial unforeseen flowery words baloney sandwich humminah humminah, (snort)  we have seen fit to retract that offer, which is a right we reserve parallel to that which you have exercised upon us, and recalibrate our relationship as loaner/borrower rather than benefactor/beneficiary.

In order to effectively achieve this as well as facilitate principle and/or interest payments, we will need to set up a retroactive account for you at the Bank of the United States Taxpayers. In order for you to start your account with our bank, or as we like to say, "get you BUSTed," (oh hee hee snort) there are a few things we will require you to do.

First and certainly foreleast (snort) the future is upon us and you must register with us online. In order to do this you will need to access our webpage, www.bust.com . After closing all the pornographic popups, click on the "new account" icon and you will be prompted to create a password. This password must be changed every month and must contain the correct number of characters, numbers, symbols, fonts, colours and letter sizes that we randomize on a weekly basis. It will also require you to answer exactly one of 10 personally chosen verification questions upon each login... for your safety and convenience. If we notice inconsistencies such as access from a new device, your account will be frozen. In fact, if there are any irregularities, and (snort) there will be, your account will promptly be frozen for a minimum of one week and there is nothing you can do on this website. Emailing us or contacting us online is entirely possible, but will not result in any change to your account and/or account information/specifications. This is once again done for your safety and convenience. (hee hee snort I love saying that!)

Here is my favourite part: A telephone must be linked to your new account. In case of any problems, short of visiting every American taxpayer and talking with them person to person, this will be the only means of possibly solving account trouble. Just dial our toll free number, during OUR business hours 1-800-2855-7448, that's 1-800 BULLSHIT (oh snort) Some additional phone charges may apply and this number is not set up to answer calls from mobile phones.

Your call will answered just as soon as one of our very busy answering machines is able to get to it. You better plan for a 30-40 minute delay just so we know you're not a bot. If you manage to stay on the line that long, you will be subjected to a series of telephonically gymnastical questions regarding the nature or your account difficulties. Just press the number of the option that most closely relates to the issue you're having and that should only take another 30-40 quick and easy minutes to allow us to pinpoint the exact nature of your trouble. Or not. (snort) Next you will be helped by one of our live operators... after a 30-40 minute wait... for your safety and convenience.

Now, let us establish the details of our loan, shall we, Mr. Banks? Firstly, it has come to our attention that the circumstances necessitating the original and all following loans have all been the result of extremely irresponsible behaviour on your part. Oh no, Mi- Mister Banks, no need to worry, this only qualifies you for our usury rate of interest for high risk clients. I beg your pardon? Did I say, "usury?" Oh (snort) silly me, I must have made up a word! I meant "usual," of course. Now then, 700 billion with our highest rate of interest compounded monthly... carry the trillion....

There is also the matter of 11 years of borrowing without establishing an account with BUST. Borrowing on a balance of zero naturally constitutes some hefty overdrafts, good golly some HEFTY overdrafts (snort) which will be applied to the principle. That's million gojillion carry the two...

And this is also with the understanding that there will be a monthly service charge. Our people don't work for free! (snort) seven infinity carry the zeroes...

Now then, after careful calculation, we have arrived at our very first payment. You must eliminate all student loan debt in the country. What's that you ask? Will that settle your outstanding debt with BUST? Oh gosh no! (snort) That'll just catch you up on your interest!

Come again? What did you say? You refuse to pay? Oh dear, oh dear. Well you may feel free to exercise that option Mr. Veedle, excuse me, I mean Mr. Banks. But rest assured you will be provided no further funding from the Bank of the United States Taxpayers if you forfeit more than 3 payments in a - wha - what's that you say? Bankruptcy? Oh! (snort) You ARE a funny one, Mr. Banks. Much like the student loans that you provided to students, the future of our country, with no forgiveness through insolvency or bankruptcy, Mi-Mister Banks, you'll be paying this loan till New York become Old York (snort!) Whe - when may we expect payment?

Excu - excuse me? Lawyers? Lawsuits? Oh, clearly you don't understand, Mr. Banks. We at the Bank of the United States Taxpayer are not subject to city, state or federal laws. We are omnipotent. Yes, that's potent with an omni in front of it. (snort) At least we are when we're pissed off enough! Now whe-when may we expect payment?

I see. Oh, Mr. Banks, we're sorry you've chosen this option. We won't send any large, burly men to your door to collect. We will simply withhold funding to all your future leverage takeovers, loans to small, oil rich countries, and military actions. And if you still refuse to pay we wi - what's that Mr. Banks? You agree to our terms? You'll pay the first installment in 2020 when Bernie Sanders becomes president? Well that's just fine!

It was a pleasure doing business with you Mr. Banks. We will expect your payment and look forward to your successful repayment of your debt to us in full. Have a lovely afternoon! Buhbye.

I Might Not Finish This Post Before A War Breaks Out

Did you read the title? If you didn't, read it now. I'll wait. Okay, now what country came to mind when you read that? Did anyone NOT think of the U.S. of A? America FUCK YEAH!!!

I've done some reading and some of my friends have done some reading and I've read their reading and so on and so forth, and the upshot of it all seems to be the U.S. is going to war with Iran. Or they're doing their level best to anyway. I'm not talking about Uncle Traveling Bolton who's had a hard on for Iran for years. Oh okay, here's Uncle Traveling Matt from Fraggle Rock and John Bolton side by side:

Or at least on top of each other. The blog regularly shuffles my abilities. I don't know why. Today I can't put pics side by side. Inneresting.

I'm talking about TLC. And that doesn't mean Tender Loving Care either. Quite the opposite! Au contraire mes amis! Although, you could say the Trump Leadership Council DO show a lot of Love and Care for legal Tender. It's pretty much ALL they Care about. Where did I hear tell of such a group of repugnant capitalists run amok? Why, in Rolling Stone Magazine of course! Props to my bud Jack Large for posting it before I read it. You gotta check this out! Please read it!

I dunno who Andy Kroll is but he's going to win a Pulitzer if he keeps this up! To me this is WORSE than Watergate! FAR worse than Monica Lewinsky! And in my opinion, what we already know about Trump is more impeachable than Nixon and Clinton combined! What the fuck will it take to get this assclown bum-rushed out of the White House? Hopefully not much more than this. The last paragraph is particularly chilling:

          "Whatever happens in 2020, Trump’s all-out assault on regulations will long outlive his presidency, whether it’s four or eight years. At a time when the climate crisis threatens the future of humanity, Trump and his corporate backers have taken the country in the opposite direction. 'This administration’s agenda was set well before Trump was elected,' says Brune of the Sierra Club. 'Just about any safeguard to protect the country’s air, water and climate is up for sale. And if it makes Trump’s polluter friends happy, that’s what he’s promised to do and what he’s going to do.'"

Laws were "up for sale!" Making new ones and erasing old ones. And Trump has really done that, hasn't he? He had to be stopped by a judge from re-opening offshore drilling; he has promised to bring back coal; plans to open up private land for fracking; he has aggressively rolled back environmental rules; he wants to totally scrap Obama's clean power plan; provided MASSIVE tax breaks to oil companies so that many paid zero; issued executive orders to speed up gas and oil pipelines; and these and many more, were just favours he's done for the "energy" members of the TLC. The hardest group on the environment.

However, my money is on this group of far right extremists destroying the human race with war before they pollute us all into extinction. Stephen Moore, dubbed the far right's go-to economist was at the inaugural meeting of the TLC in 2016, the year this madness started, and he said the members were not conventional Republicans, but far right maverick businessmen. Moore himself wants to get rid of child labour laws so kids can start working at 11 or 12 and he thinks women shouldn't participate in sports... unless they're hot. Are these the type of 100-dollar-bill cigar lighting, back slapping, pussy grabbing, Mother cheating, greed is good, amoral monsters that we all kinda reckoned Trump was going to for advice and getting advice from? Are these his Mar-a-Lago men who consider Trump a minor league wannabe but like his hound-like loyalty and will take all the free rounds of golf, and all the presidential favours, he will give them in hopes of joining their boys club? Well now we have a LIST! We can find out.

In keeping with the coming out of the super rich who seem decreasingly concerned with hiding their corruption, I guess Andy Kroll just asked some of the people who were at that meeting and they proudly gave him a list! 48 names FFS! We know the members of the shadow cabinet! This is huge! UUUUUge even! If Trump were a football coach, this is his playbook!

And as if to conveniently drive this point home, no sooner was this list published than Trump got rid of his Secretary of Defense, Patrick Shanahan, and replaced him with Mark Esper. Now there's talking about Shanahan failing some sort of vetting procedure but he went on record saying that the U.S. needs to use diplomacy and deterrence not war in dealing with Iran. So he got turfed. And in comes Mark Esper the chief lobbyist for Raytheon. That's a 27 billion dollar ('18) weapons and warfare company. Do you suppose 2019 will be more than 27 billion if they somehow got a Secretary of Defense who was sympathetic to their needs? That's not a big leap of logic to make.

And pretty much simultaneously, HEY, whatdoyaknow? an act of aggression by Iran! An "unprovoked" act of aggression. Well we should know by now if we're paying attention, "unprovoked" is U.S. militaryspeak for "provoked."

U.S. military: "We were just flying a few inches from Iranian air space, andthenalittlebitover, then just flying innocently really, really, really close to Iranian air space, andthenalittlebitover, and we might have been playing some harmless voice messages, likefuckyoudeathtoallahandflight655, and suddenly, completely unprovoked, our passengerless drone got blown out of the sky by the evil Iranians! Nothing to do but declare war. Our hands are tied."

You know, I bet Raytheon MAKES those drones! Now they gotta make the U.S. military another one. Already Esper is cashing in!

I read that the war was already declared by Trump and strikes were planned but for some reason cancelled.

If you actually think all of this is mere coincidence, then go to the bottom of that Rolling Stone article and check out the list. Right there, fifth under the "Aerospace and Defense" group is Dr. Mark Esper, Vice President, government relations, Raytheon.

I don't think it'll be long before this war gets underway, congressional approval or not. It'd be awfully nice if he got impeached before it happened... wouldn't it?

Carrot is a Peach!

Well it's been a year and a half since I returned to Korea for the Winter Games and ended up staying for the summer drudgery. Yes, I've just signed on with Carrot for work until mid December. And this means I'm working all summer AGAIN!

I figure I should update you on my recent adventures into the dank, sweaty wilds of Korea. Some things are the same, some different. I could show you some pictures of the native women I took but they weren't developed. It's okay, I'll take some more in a couple years. An old Groucho Marx joke. Sure wouldn't get away with that nowadays! Not even in Korea! Which is one of the things that has changed the most. The Me Too movement has caught on. The recent gay pride parade had fewer protestors than ever. Koreans are getting more worldly and woke all the time. As for the ESL industry, in some ways, like ESL teachers' salaries, it's a virtual time capsule of the way things were as far back as 1997 when I first arrived. In other ways, like the price for an hour of ESL teaching, things have greatly advanced! The one word explanation for that - middlemen. Recruiters and ESL businesses, like Carrot, who find teachers and people who want teachers then hook them up have insinuated themselves into an ESL environment where they weren't needed and have created few if any advantages for the student, lots of disadvantages for the teachers and soaked up 100% of the rise in ESL rates.

A little ditty about what it's like to work for one of these uber-hagwons: I may not have shared this because I was worried about my job, but I think now I'm in the clear. Nobody from work reads my blog. And the 5 people who do won't tell them. If you look at their webpage, you can see some pretty impressive clients where Carrot Global has loads of teachers teaching executives one-on-one like I'm presently doing at SKhynix. Press the "more" icon and the list gets even MORE impressive. These are all ESL jobs that in 1997 companies like Mcdonald's, 3M, Lotte, Doosan, Hyundai, Samsung, GM, Starbucks, Nike, LG, Korean Air, and so on and so forth, could have easily advertised and a guy like me could have easily found, applied for and landed. No extra expense required for the company, no extra hassles for the teacher, and cheaper for the customer. But since the government has required Master's degrees or F visas for people to teach at these businesses (or more accurately, they have started cracking down on foreigners without Masters' or F visas who are teaching for them) a Korean entrepreneur was needed to see the viable niche of a Korean company, run by Korean people, making extra money from Korean clients, to hire foreigners without Masters', and sometimes without F visas, to work for THEM and then illegally put them to work for clients like Mcdonald's, 3M, Doosan, Hyundai, Samsung.....

The contract I signed had a false address, false workplace, false hours, false dates and left out some pretty important details. Standard for a Korean ESL contract. All I did was make sure it included in it that I would receive reimbursement for my Japanese visa run (which, if you'll remember, was a month and a half late) and severance pay. It only took Carrot 8 months to pay me the visa run pay that I was promised before I started work June first of 2018, and I still haven't received my severance pay even though my first contract finished three weeks ago. But I trust they will pay me. THIS is one area Carrot is good. Not prompt or timely, but they pay.

At any rate, the contract mentioned that there would be some "content" expected from the teachers. We all contributed some of our own lessons between June and December and I didn't mind that. I didn't like the texts enough to use them much so I used a lot of my own material. Also, I contributed a couple lessons for the textbook for the final quarter of the year. I was not informed until the last minute that I would be partially responsible for providing the texts for the next year. That's 4 texts with 25 lessons each. 100 lessons. I was to go into Seoul, to the offices of Carrot Global, sit at a computer that they would provide (the ones Carrot provided in our office are all SHYTE) and bang away for 8 hours a day producing lessons. It takes at least an hour and a half to get to the office from where I lived at the time so that's 3 hours of wasted commute time every day plus 8 hours at a desk. There's no wonder I wasn't informed of this at contract time or at any time after until it was time to do it!

But I was not game. I had my own internet, my own computer and I could see no reason why I couldn't just stay at home and do it. I talked to my supervisor and he said I had to do it or I could just not work for the whole month. We had a long telephone conversation at the beginning of which he said he'd ask his superior if I could work from home and at the end of which he said that he had told me 100 times that he'd already asked his superior and he said that I couldn't work from home. I told him many reasons why it would be better for everybody if I did but I was called a trouble maker and a complainer for doing so. I even told my supervisor I had a medical reason why I couldn't do it. That was ignored or not believed. See at the time I was unable to go more than an hour without rushing to the toilet. I've since found that that was caused by diabetes, but at the time, you can see how two 90 minute commutes a day that were entirely unnecessary were just not gonna happen for me. I also told him that I could whip up a lesson in half an hour on my own computer with which I was very comfortable. No way could I do that with one of the Carrot computers! And after our phone call was finished, I did exactly that. The lesson was entitled "Why Working From Home is More Than Just a Trend." Trends was one of three topics we had to use. Hilariously, the lesson appears in the Q2 textbook, the one we're using now and I tell my students this story before I teach it.

In the lesson it talks about how people who work from home are more productive, less stressed, better rested, they call in sick less, quit less, don't commute so save fuel and reduce traffic, save the company real estate costs (like offices and computers), it's the wave of the future with automation coming, technology is making it easier and easier, most people would be willing to sacrifice something like wages to work from home, and a few other things, most of which I had brought up in the conversation with the supervisor and were taken as "trouble-making" or "complaining." I didn't even include that I could do the work in my underwear, listening to music and drinking beer! Which I fucking DID!

I thought about it for a few days, applied for a few kids' camps, found one that wanted me, then told my supervisor I'll just not work for the whole month. But requested a letter of release so I could teach at a kids English camp during that time. I had already booked 7 days off during this time because a) I suspected some double-cross like this was up and b) I wanted more than one day off for Christmas/New Year's. So I actually had two weekends in there and ended up with 11 days off. I only had to work 3 days from Dec. 15-17, then had my 11 days off including Christmas, then had to work the last week of the year. But I said, "Nah, just give me the whole month off."

The next day I got a call from HR. A girl named Heather I think. She said they needed me to do the book. I couldn't have the whole month off. But I told her that my supervisor had told me I could. She said he shouldn't have told me that. So I said he's telling me things that are against company policy? That was downplayed. I said to her that I already had a camp that wanted me. So she launches into how it is illegal for them to give me a full month off on an E-2 visa or some crap like that. I calmly said that we both know my whole job is illegal so let's not pretend that's the reason why you want me to go into the office. She agreed. I said it's because the supervisor doesn't want me to. But I don't want to cancel on the camp. Let's see if we can both do something we don't want to do and make this work. So she immediately suggested I work from home. They never had a problem with that nor were they asked by my supervisor if I could. So we agreed. Also I told them I had made a doctor's appointment so I could only work 2 1/2 days of the first three. All was agreed.

I was expected to do 3 or 4 lessons a day. In my 2.5 days I did something like 16 or 17 and everybody was super impressed! So much so that the other teachers were told that THEY could stay at home and make THEIR lessons too! They did and were very productive. In the second week I did some online travel curriculum. 20 lessons in the week. Every day I finished by noon.

I was told by one of my students here that Carrot charged him 85,000 won per lesson. That's pretty close to 100 bucks Canadian. I don't know how much SKhynix pays but it's probably up there. I have 13 students. If ONLY my students used my lessons that'd be 22,000 bucks I earned for Carrot. But there are several teachers here using my lessons. They may also be included in the textbooks for other locations. To say nothing of my travel curriculum! And don't forget the other lessons I've used and Carrot claimed as my "content." I might have made the company enough to pay my yearly salary many times over for all I know. Plus I dragged my supervisor kicking and screaming into the advent of making these texts from home that will save the company untold amounts of money and hassle! He's probably going to take credit for that at the next supervisor's meeting too. Add to that a year of never being late or absent and getting superior evaluations from students. Not only that but other than my supervisor, I am the only person in the office or teaching staff that has been here over a year. Second in seniority in under a year! So when it came time to negotiate a new contract I felt I should get some recognition.

"Same salary," I was told. I replied, "Will I get severance?" They had to wait a couple weeks to give me that answer. Nope. So I would actually be making considerably less than last contract since severance is 1/12 of your salary extra. I was able to negotiate a little higher salary but no severance. And now that I have to pay rent on the apartment, yeah, I'll be making less. An E-2 contract requires the employer to provide acceptable accommodation. I'm not so sure the dorms I was in qualified. Three guys to a room, no stove or washing machine. No I'm certain I did Carrot a favour putting up with those accommodations for the full year. Did they offer to pay for even part of my rent? No. And I've since discovered that they DO pay rent for at least one of the other teachers! WITHOUT an E-2 visa!

But I made the mistake of getting the apartment before signing the new contract. And since I still haven't yet totally solidified my next 6 months at immigration, they are still trying to get more out of me. Offering me new classes ON THE WEEKEND. I got news of a new class today, THAT STARTED TODAY. In the absolute worst slot in my schedule. But I taught the class and changed the time. I certainly won't tell anyone I did that!

This is all because, despite making the company a ton of money, making the supervisor look good, providing lots of lessons the students like and making things generally better around here, the supervisor hates me because I'm a "complainer" and a "trouble-maker."

THAT'S what it's like working for one of these places.

Having said that, it's been pretty good. I've socked away more than ever before, the workload is pretty low and I like my students. No marking or assignments. Yet. If Carrot gets the next contract, I'm ready to sign on for another year too! I'll work here till they boot me out. If that's scotch in that proverbial glass, it's a double, right? How's that for lowered expectations? Remember that old Mad TV staple?

You know, there are probably lots of good things you could say about this lady! She likes sucking on things. Not an expensive dinner date. Easy to buy gifts for. She's a peach!