Out WIth The Old, In With The New

This has raised more than a few eyebrows lately.

Colin Kaepernick is not a(n?) historian, he's a football player. For all I know, he may, like me, have had no idea what the second and third verses of the Star Spangled Banner were. Until now. And he may have had no real opinion on what Francis Scott Key meant by them or the history behind them. And if you are a follower of this blog, or have talked sports with me in person, you may know my opinion about the national anthems at sporting events. Other than the Olympics or sporting events in which the players really ARE representing their countries, I think they are unnecessary. Out of place. Almost included for some other subversive purpose. Hmmmmm.....

But like it or not, his sitting down has made a statement and has set some people to debating. In some cases even healthy debating. Good Lord, during a time when "Black Lives Matter," racism, police brutality and general inequalities of black people in the U.S. are all hot issues, I'd venture to say that even without the references to slaves and graves in the Star Spangled Banner, his gesture had some validity to it. But HOLY MOLY! Even Snopes doesn't seem to contest the idea that singing in triumph after killing slaves and hirelings maaaaaaaay not be the kind of lyrical representation the U.S. wants right now. Ever, really.

Yet there are some people, (forehead smack), who seem to jump at every opportunity to say things that piss America off thereby inexplicably GAINING American popularity. It's some strategy, lemme tell you! "It's so crazy, it just might work!"

We in Canada recently went through our own national anthem updating. Changing the word "sons" to "us" because it is more gender neutral was a huge waste of parliamentary time in the mind of a person like me who thinks those anthems are almost useless anyway, but, I agree with the spirit of the update. Our anthem has changed with the times. On one level it seemed a bit, to me, like George Carlin's description of feminist language alteration gone amok. I will not call that thing in the street a "personhole cover." Or call a ladies man a "person's person." A he-man becomes an "it-person." Little kids would talk about the bogeyperson or the person in the moon. "Come back here and fight like a person!" "For he's the jolly-good person." These are jokes you may have heard on Late Night With David Letterperson.

But on the other hand, we're not all sons in Canada despite the preference for them when the anthem was written, so, sure, update it and remove a little bit of the patriarchal shit in our lives. Nothing wrong. It'll never be important enough in my lifetime to be sure, at a hockey game, to use "us," instead of the "sons" I've sung a thousand times, but I have no problem with the younger generation singing it that way. Sometimes change is good. Sometimes it's NOT abandoning our cherished culture. Sometimes it's updating issues that have become more important to our culture over the years. WHY OH WHY can't people see this? Some people anyway.

It's something we practice in so many areas in life. We get new clothes, new cars, update our computers, change from Beta to VCR to DVD, get facelifts, move, change jobs, break up, change seasons, get engaged, get divorced, get fired, get hired, and here, you may have guessed, is where I'm going with this.

It seems, although the Korean culture is one that is more loathe than most to change, particularly things pertaining to culture, they are always changing. They do, however, have a bit of a linear way of doing so. I was talking the other day about how you can mark a single day on the calendar every year when summer fashions almost instantly and right across the board, change to fall. Out with the miniskirts and shorts, and in with the skinny jeans and, well, they STILL wear shorts in the winter. Actually more for some girls. Never figured that out. "Why are you wearing pants?" "Because, um, I'm cold?" "Wonkda!" Wonkda, from my understanding, means something between different person and loser.

And in a lot of schools they turn on the air conditioners or fans on June 1. No matter how hot May is or how cool June is. And it sometimes seems that winter subways, buses and buildings are hot enough to sweat off a few pounds and summer subways, buses and buildings are cold enough to hang a moose.

So I got an email today from a recruiter I contacted about a job here in Korea. I didn't get the job, but, being in China, I got an offer from her for a few jobs available in China. We talked about one and they seemed intent on getting me over there, not telling me the details of the offer. Yesterday I sent out some reminders to prospective employers I'd been in contact with and she was one of the two who answered. The other was also in China. Her answer was basically, well, it was exactly, word for word, "Dear David, Thank you for your letter. But now you are 49 years old now.
I am sorry to tell you that Korea's school can not accept. So could you consider the school in China? I may send you the offer in China. Thank you!"

That's all. This mystery of why I can't find work here hasn't been about blacklisting, corrupted emails, even really the white beard, (which, in a moment of Korean social surrender I shaved yesterday), it has just been about that number. 49. Actually I think it's the big 5-0 really. That's how old I'll be this coming year and that's how old I am in Korean years. So no matter how good I am, how much energy I have, how perfectly I fit into the teacher profile for the position available, and even though I am the perfect Santa Claus for the fast approaching company Christmas parties, I'm 50. I can't teach any more.

So I have a Skype interview tomorrow afternoon for a job in China. As with every one I've been offered, they aren't going to give me a work visa. And, yes, this scares me shitless after the past two years of trying to dig myself out of the hole Indonesia got me into by doing exactly that, but it seems like the thing to do. I have to go over on a business visa and work. From what I've been reading, personal relationships between schools and law enforcement officials in China always supersede the actual laws themselves and there is very little that can't be settled monetarily. So I shouldn't have anything to worry about. The rep from the school told me they are affiliated with a very reputable university over there so they haven't had any trouble. I will be renewing my business visa every two months at the school's expense.

However, the contract itself will include a clause or two that warn against breaking Chinese laws. Before I even start work I will have breached my contract by breaking Chinese visa laws. I've looked it up and it IS illegal to be working on a business visa. There are a few exceptions, but the school in question doesn't qualify. This gives the employer every right to respond in kind and break some agreements and laws of their own like lowering the agreed upon salary, raising hours, class numbers, or if they don't like me, just letting me go and not paying me at all. And I've heard horror stories...

So if I'm offered the job, (which I think I will be), and if I accept it, (which I most likely will), excuse me if I'm a little bit underwhelmed at the prospects of working in China. It's in Beijing too so along with constantly working with the hot breath of Johnny Law down my neck, I'll have this to look forward to:

But in keeping with the national anthems, language, fashion etc., I'm a dinosaur in Korea. Davosaur is my wifi name in fact. I'm old. Time to get rid of me and hire two 25-year-olds.

Anyhoo, I'll let you know the details. As long as I remain in Korea I will hold out hope for something, but it looks like I'll be headed to China soon.

Ho Hwei Yo Ji. (See you next time)

The Big Short

This is quite a brilliant microcosm of our messed up world right here. A friend of mine posted this on Facebook the other day and although it has an emotional and uplifting side to it, I could have chewed nails and spit bullets. Mostly at Kevin O'Leary, a double whammy of embarrassment for me. He's not only from Canada, but he got rich in the education racket. And if I've learned one thing about the education racket, not just in Korea either, it seems that the educators are left in the classrooms, (and sometimes not even there), while the money hoarding scheisters and antisocial businessmen, like the erstwhile Mr. O'Leary, rise to the positions of power. Now it was only a software company that made educational CD's and DVD's that got him that seat in the Shark Tank, so I can't say he's made anyone dumber like some of the people I've met along the way. But he's earned that title of "shark." And when this decent, hard-working, salt of the earth man stood before him with a billion dollar idea that he still hasn't really shared with the world, O'Leary smelled blood in the water.

"No distributor? Well, if I give you my 150 grand, I'm going to need you to QUADROUPLE the price or I just won't make any profit." Look at the farmer who hasn't sacrificed his conscience to Mammon when O'Leary says that. He doesn't say anything, he just gets a wrinkle in his forehead and a, "WHY?" look on his face. Like any of us would who don't make livings by cheating and chiseling and call it "business," or "economics," worst of all, "hard work." John Paul DeJoria, the guy who gave this farmer 150 grand is going to easily turn that into millions because everybody is going to have these Tree Teepees on their trees within a few years. In the world! But O'Leary wanted MORE! If the farmer charged what he wants to charge, $4.50, and continued earning a dollar for every Tree Teepee, the business would have plenty of money. Billions. Because I bet billions would sell at that price.

If that were allowed in todays market economy, or whatever euphemism you want to use to describe fucking your brother over for a profit, every tree in the world would have one of these things at the bottom. The water saved would MASSIVELY help the world! But that's not all. Fuel for pumping the water wouldn't be used. Untold gallons of it. But we can't have that, can we? Because some greedy douchebag wants to take an idea he had nothing to do with and make a ton of bank from it.

Now imagine O'Leary had his way. Raise the price to 12 or 13 bucks apiece for these things. Now not every tree in the world would have one. Now only the rich farmers would buy them. More oil and water would be used, (really wasted), and although he would be making considerably less, this bullet-headed buffoon would think himself a brilliant man because he's "earning" 8 dollars from every Tree Teepee sold and not just 1 dollar. And people would respect him for it! This man who is responsible for wasting water and fuel.

Don't be too quick to pat DeJoria on the back either. I heard HIM commenting on how they should charge 7 or 8 bucks apiece for these things. That too would price a lot of farmers out of the market. Why can't this guy say screw you businessmen and your cheaply purchased 20%, I own 80% and I am setting the price! I need you for some quick start-up capital. Keep your goldbricking noses out of the rest. O'Leary should understand this. He got his Mom to lend him 10 grand to start up his first company. I bet SHE doesn't expect 20% of HIS earnings. He probably hasn't paid her back yet, the wanker.

The very worst part of it is when this psychopathic Scrooge comments on this farmer's father and what a hero he was. You just tried to scam his son and millions of farmers worldwide, waste rivers of water and tankers of fuel and you want to curry some favour and look like you might not be the great big asshole you have just shown yourself to be? No, you don't get to feign human feelings of respect for his father, you crocodile! Fuck you!

See what I mean? I just get so mad when I see this. What gets me so mad is not the act, it's the complete apathy the average person has as a reaction to it. "Well, that's business." "Well, he's doing his job." "Well, he has a fiduciary responsibility to the shareholders." This is all something very familiar to farmers: it's bullshit. That's all. The lesson I wish everyone could take from this little video is how harmful doing business for maximum profit like this really IS. You do it right, with honesty and morality and that's good for everybody.

But it just doesn't happen like that any more, does it? I just re-watched "The Big Short." You may recall I noticed a shirt of mine in that movie and now to me it's known as, "The Big Shirt." It's several blog posts ago. And, in the same vein, guess where that shirt is now? I have been asking Kevin O'Learies of Korea for years to make me a Kia Tiger jersey. I don't fit into any of the three sizes they sell all over the country. I've been to many places and a few times now I've run into the very Asian YES strategy. "Yes, we can make you a jersey." You wait for two weeks or a month and go back and in that time the company hasn't developed the technology or skills they thought they'd be able to when they promised to do the thing knowing they couldn't do it. Then you just shake your head and tell them they've wasted a month of your time and THEY get upset with YOU.

My good buddy DB, also a big Tiger fan, told me he had found an online company who ensured him they could make me a jersey. They asked for a shirt to give them some idea of my size. I didn't have anything to give them but "the big shirt." So that's what DB sent them. At his expense. It's been a long time. I'd say a couple of months at least and, lo and behold, they can't do it. Not only that but they aren't even going to send back the shirt. And DB and I have to just sit back and take this shit. THEY are the business and THEY have earned respect. Why don't I feel that way? Is it just me?

I don't think so. But, as Steve Carell's character in "The Big Short" said in the movie, "All these people are getting fucked and they're walking around like they're in an Enya video!" People think of me as particularly negative, but I think there's at least a little of other people being ignorantly positive too.

Most people will look at this video and see a heart-warming tale. It was sent to me from a site called something like "Women's Tear Jerkers." But it just made me seethe.

However, perhaps my anger at the horrible people in businesses, banks, and governments SHORTING us all was offset a tiny bit by a few pieces of good news. The epipen princess WILL be investigated for wrongdoing and stock in Mylan has plummeted accordingly.

Also, I read about the CEO of Trump's campaign who was in charge of rooting out voter fraud, committed voter fraud. I think he claimed Florida residency to avoid state taxes, (cuz Florida doesn't charge them), so add tax fraud to it as well, but he doesn't even live there. I like to call this being Gertruded. Or maybe Gertied. He got Gertied. Gertrude said, in Hamlet, the oft misquoted line, "The lady doth protest too much, methinks." And when people rant on and on about homosexuals going to Hell, then get caught with homosexual prostitutes, they got Gertied. And if I ever start a business and overcharge people or cheat, lie and steal like a good businessman is supposed to do, then you have every right to point the Gertie finger at me. You know what, while you're at it point a friggin' gun at me too and pull the trigger cuz I'd rather be dead than a scum-sucking bottom feeding parasite like a banker, synthetic CDO salesman or a crooked businessman.

Honestly!

But those weren't the feel good stories of the week for me. Nope. I woke up a couple of days ago with this all over feeling of RIGHTNESS in the world. I thought it might have been the weather. Or maybe I was psychically feeling a person looking at my resume and saying, "Why don't we hire this guy?" But then I read that Stephen Harper quit politics and that feeling was explained.

To quote another Shakespeare play, (Troilus and Cressida), "Good riddance!" He's done his share of this kind of damage to the world himself. With luck, he will start a trend. Maybe O'Leary will retire. Maybe they'll both take up MMA and have a match to the death that ends in a tie!

That's probably too much to hope for.

Chinatown Calculations

Tell me honestly, would you hire this guy? I am giving my Konkuk University Summer Camp student, Lion, his certificate of completion. He was a very good student and I liked him a lot. Everybody in the class will remember a few key English sentences from my classes and one will be, "Lion, please sit down." I said that about a million times. He has ants in his pants but he was really good. He made the thunder machine for our performance. I STILL don't know how he did that. It really sounded like thunder!

Anyhoo, I've sent out 25 or 30 application packages in the last month and haven't even had an interview. This is the longest drought for me ever! I'm starting to wonder if I haven't been blacklisted or if my email is corrupting my files when I'm sending them. Or maybe it just could be that I look old in the pics I send with these packages. The ads are always asking for pics and, of course, discriminating against old, ugly, fat people, sigh, like me. A LOT of ads in my field specify FEMALE teachers as well. And now with the extenuating immigration disadvantages I have, things are pretty hungry here in Korea.

The only action I've had at all has been from China. And, well, I've heard them described as Koreans on crack. Every obnoxious, callous, selfish behavior Koreans have unfortunately become known for, amp it up a bit and there you have China. I'm not saying this because I haven't lived there, I'm just paraphrasing what I've heard from some of the people who have lived there. It's not making me want to rush into any contracts, lemme tell you! And the people I've been in contact with have been OBVIOUSLY trying to con me over there where they will have me trapped and they'll be able to boost class sizes from only 30 to 100, cancel the bonuses promised, raise hours from only 30 to 50 hours a week, and things like that.

But I have been in indirect contact with some people over there who tell me that the work is fine. They just don't like the cities where they are. This is not necessarily a bad thing for me because I am a bit different from the contacts I know over there in that I like the boring countryside. So I am actively seeking employment in China now, a place I have repeatedly sworn I would never work. I am reminded of the Mad TV "Lowered Expectations" skits. That's how it is in relationships, isn't it? Anybody else feel like that's how it is in work? Employers expect more and workers expect less. Even though I am constantly getting better at what I do, it seems more is expected of me. And it's harder to find work.

Maybe I'll have to start lying my ass off like everybody else.

I see these people faking themselves out all the time bellyaching about Korea every day mid contract and then Korea is all mermaids and unicorns when they sign on for another year. Is that weakness or strength? Are you a strong person if you can con yourself into being satisfied with a crappy situation, or are you ungrateful if you expect more? Am I a weak person expecting my experience to earn me a better job situation? Or should I look at the millions of people who would give almost anything to have the job I'm complaining about and count myself lucky?

I guess I'm a dreamer, and I've said this before here, but I believe this "strength" we see in people who can be satisfied with less and less is a symptom of the greed that is destroying our world. It's the Soma we are all swallowing instead of doing the hard work needed to fix the major problems that are leading to our deteriorating human condition. The millions of people who would love to have my situation really should have a better situation along with me. That's what I believe. And there's nobody who can convince me that the resources of the world aren't plentiful enough to make that a reality. But we're conditioned into believing that this is so. If that's true, then the rich shouldn't be getting any richer. If THEY were satisfied with even remaining in the same condition while my condition was deteriorating, THEN I might try to be happy in mine own self as the saying goes. But that's just not the case, is it?

I'm sure you've heard about this bitch. And there are sooooo many examples like it in the medical profession! If people are keeping people sick to make money, then it's a safe bet they are keeping people poor to scoop up all of the resources of the world for themselves. And THAT'S the injustice I don't really want to convince myself into believing is okay. If you think it isn't firmly embedded in our systems, guess what her father does. Ding ding ding! Joe Manchin III the senior U.S. senator from West Virginia. And he's not even a republican!

I'll go even further, cuz that's what I do, and say that people who ARE constantly trying to force themselves to fake happiness, and distance themselves from any negativity at all, (even if it's true), and pasting smiles on their faces, and yessing every no into legitimacy, they are part of the reason that they, (and we all), are having so much trouble finding GENUINE happiness. I believe in the pursuit of happiness as much as the next person but it seems to me there are a lot of sour grapes in the "happy" people out there. The people in the above video might be saying things like, "Well, I didn't really want to have more than 10 days off a year anyway," or "I probably won't notice the difference between 15 students and 30 students per class anyway," or "Well, I suppose the outdated, antiquated, Korean education methods are good enough..."

I know they probably weren't all teachers but if they were... The situation is getting worse in Korea and it seems the teachers who know how much better it USED TO be, like me, are the ones who are dissatisfied with things. We KNOW we used to have a better chance at the good jobs that seem to be unobtainable nowadays. We KNOW there used to be more of an effort made at least toward tolerance of foreigners. I used the "English" tab on the bank machine today and couldn't transfer money. I got some error message but couldn't understand it because it was in Korean. The "English" button gets you SOME English. Websites that used to be in English are being removed. To do any immigration now you have to make an appointment on a website that doesn't work. And they KNOW it doesn't work. All us people who know things weren't always this bad sound like we're complaining about Korea when we mention how bad things are getting. And maybe we're the ones who should be going to China. Where things are getting better and better and might just end up being as good, someday, as things were in the heyday of Korean ESL teaching. Or is that my excruciatingly persistent optimism again?

See? It's just not fair! I'm actually an insanely positive person, but when I complain about Korea, when I am brutally honest about Korea, people read me as a downer and don't want that kind of negativity spoiling their well-constructed castles of false positivity.

And that could be another reason why I'm not getting hired. The injustice! I just can't win!

I even think that if I DID go to China and ended up in a place that's worse than the average job in Korea, I wouldn't complain as much because I have no memory of things being worse in China and I'm told they are actually getting better. To put a fine point on it, people think I'm whinging about the state of things in Korea and they are bothered by it. What I'm really doing is bitching about the deterioration of things in Korea and they really shouldn't ignore that. But whatever. If they do it leaves more jobs open in China. Which I STILL don't want, but may end up taking.

So, if you notice I haven't blogged or emailed or Facebooked you in like a year, it's probably because I'm working in China where I can't do that sort of thing.

Fair warning.

F-ing People Taking All The Good Jobs!

So it's August 22nd. Still no job.

I finished the last camp on August 9th and have been in Seoul for almost two weeks optimistically thinking that at least one of the places I have applied to in Seoul would contact me for an interview. Just an interview. Not necessarily a job.

But so far no takers. ESL employers these days are looking for someone 20 years old with 20 years of experience. I had more luck finding work when I was closer to the first one than the second. In fact I HAVE 20 years of experience pretty much. But I am slowly forgetting everything I did when I was 20.

Those were heady days! New province, new school, new church, new friends, new girlfriend, new hopes and dreams... And in the 29 ensuing years nothing from that list, apart from a couple of the friends, remains. And those friends and I only chat from time to time on Facebook.

I'm finding out that more and more employers in Korea are also looking for Koreans. People who have Korean blood and have lived in the U.S. or some other English speaking country, or who have managed to somehow attain a high level of English proficiency. For the whole time I've been in Korea I could see them working towards that. The immigration system is geared towards these candidates as well, making it a cinch for them to just slide into pretty much any position with little to no paperwork and making the process for a foreigner like me a blindingly tedious month or so of paperwork, forms, certificates, rules and regulations. Even the camps are sick of the immigration crap. The camps I did this summer didn't even bother with it. They left it up to me.

And though the average kyopo, (Korean who has lived overseas), THINKS he/she is just as good a teacher as a person like me who has dedicated a life to studying, learning and implementing solid ESL techniques, not just found a jackpot of riches to be had for just showing up in a classroom and speaking English to some confused kids, he/she is not. I've had a few of the more, (to use an oft employed euphemism for the attitudes these people end up with), "honest," kyopos tell me that the only reason I get paid more than them is because I'm white. However, I still believe that us "white" folks, who try to keep things interesting, fun and on the educational cutting edge, are worth more because our students learn more. Practically every day one or more of my friends in the field post articles about how homework is useless, or how kids don't learn vocabulary through studying extra vocabulary, or just good educational philosophy or lessons.

The average kyopo hoards several of these plumb jobs, ends up working far more hours than he/she should, and this results in terrible teaching. They show up to class unprepared, read from a book or do some boring repetitive vocab. teaching, assign some homework, then move on to the next payday, I mean class. The thing is, it is now so much easier, less work and less frustration for employers to hire these ESL mercenaries in Korea that employers put up with the inferior teaching. And I'm not saying they ALL suck, but a lot of them do.

I admit to enjoying the advantages of authenticity over my career. Learning English from me seems more authentic than learning from a Korean who looks like all the students. Kids can't pat the kyopo's belly or stroke his, (or her), arm hair either. They don't have coloured eyes or hair. They're kind of boring looking. Why would you want to eat Mexican food at a restaurant with a kitchen full of Chinese people? Or Chinese food from a place with a kitchen full of Mexicans? And, I admit, that IS an advantage I have. But it's now been overtaken by the ease of hiring someone with an F visa.

Now I can GET one of these, mind you! I'd have to pass a difficult Korean language exam and apply for citizenship I think. Or I'd have to get married to a Korean.

The bottom line is, I should be hunting for a Korean wife, not a job. If I got a wife, I'd qualify for an F visa, and I'd have no problem getting the better jobs I see advertised for "only F visa holders." I dunno... would it be worth it?

No more immigration problems ever again! What a thought! But I'd have other problems. MANY other problems.

So for now I'm going to keep hoping and throwing out resumes. But it's tougher than ever out there.

Camp Season is Over

There we are! My Konkuk University class. I know, they look a bit young for university but they start 'em young here. Heh heh. Actually, these are my kids from the Konkuk University children's English camp. Just finished. So now I'm trying to get me one of them sweet, sweet uni gigs full time here in Korea before the new semester starts Sept. 1. I thought I had a pretty good leg up on a full time job at Konkuk since, A: They are hiring, B: I applied along with my application for the camp, C: I met all the teachers I'd be working with and we all got along well, D: I met the director, Yoojin, who also works for the full time English department, and WE got along well, E: I went above and beyond doing all of my own immigration work, which was hours and hours of sweat, tedium and frustration, as well as giving my kids a wide variety of fun activities and a great learning experience.

I had to go to Immigration and sit for hours and hours because their online appointment reservation site doesn't work. I sat for 6 hours watching person after person do what I did and tell the people there that the site is down only to be shown that it works on their computer. THEIR computer. The one at the immigration office. The funny thing was that when a Korean dude came in and told them the site was down and they referred him to the in house public computer in the next room, he came storming back into the office saying that even THAT computer doesn't work with their stupid website. And furthermore, he raged in Korean, I am not a foreigner and these extra frustrations are not meant for ME! He was yelling and carrying on far beyond anyone before him who, although not Korean, had met with the identical situation. He, and only he, received individual help immediately.

The rest of us had to wait until the end of the day when people who could not make appointments were accepted. So I get up to the worker behind the window and tell her I am just there to let them know I am working at a camp. You know, doing the legal thing. I have the camp contract, the letter of release from my employer, and the camp business license, which, luckily, I had. During the 6-hour wait I had time to ask what I needed to let them know I was working a camp. I asked if I needed the business license and was told I did. So I called Yoojin, who emailed it to me. I then went to the in house, public computer and accessed my email to print it out. The printer took a little tweaking but eventually I was able to print it out. I had two black dudes waiting for me to get off the computer so I made sure I signed out of Gmail before relinquishing the computer. I don't want to be prejudiced here but... they were Nigerian. There are tons of Nigerians all over Korea who wait for people at phone booths, bank machines and computers so they can get personal info after they leave. I once had my yahoo email hacked in Manila and had 700 bucks stolen from my account in Korea. So I'm careful now. It's well known that a lot of these scumbags are Nigerian. Sorry, Nigeria, but these dudes are making you all look bad.

Anyhoo, this is another difference in the whole camp thing. I have never had to do the immigration thing for any of the camps that bothered to do the immigration thing. Usually they do it themselves or they send me WITH a Korean who basically does all the work. Because I was alone and doing it all in English, the worker had to go by Korean immigration rule #468: "If you have to use English, make sure the foreigner is sent home to retrieve some unnecessary document or other. DON'T allow them to finish in one day no matter how well prepared they are."

They found a "problem" with the wording of my letter of release. I had the contract for the 2-week camp. The 2 week camp. I had a document signed and dated from my employer saying that I was released to work at the Konkuk University camp. It was written under the specifications I received after calling the immigration hotline here in Korea. The worker behind the protective glass said, "It needs to say that you are adding a workplace. It doesn't say that. Then she asked me for a camp schedule and the number of my boss and got me to call him. Usually Seoul Immigration is pretty reasonable but she pulled out all the stops, this girl. I managed to get ahold of my boss and he told her on the phone that I have permission to work at this camp. STILL that was not enough! He had to fax a paper to immigration the next day and I had to go back and get a piece of paper attached to my passport. NONE of this would have happened if Yoojin had gone in, or even if a representative, (Korean), from the camp had gone in with the info. But I wasted like 12 hours of my free time doing the exact thing I hate worst in this world. That's gotta score me some points with this camp!

Then I did things like making some really cool paper airplanes and shooting them at targets; digging up dinosaur bones; making helicopters and dropping them from the second floor onto a target; making a rainstorm in the classroom; watching dinosaur fights; other arts and crafts and lots of games and fun; and showed up an hour early every day. I was SURE I'd be noticed and considered for the full time job!

Above are pics of the helicopter dropping. It was fun. The center circle on the floor was 3 stickers. Only one student got the 3. They all ran up and down the stairs a few times to drop their choppers. In the sweltering heat. I was sweating just staying on one floor watching them.

The other pic is our project. The Um A/C ing air conditioned umbrella. From D.U.C.K. corporation. David Umbrella Company Korea.

Isn't that cool? I thought it was. And we had a sales demonstration all prepared. We had thunder storm sound, some students squirting squirt guns into the air, a few throwing lightning bolts they had made, (very cute), even a thunder machine one student had made that REALLY sounded like thunder. It was a can with a spring hanging out of it? I dunno how he did it but it was cool.

The whole class was all excited about selling the Um A/C ing and doing our performance. Everyone had a part and it was super well done! But none of the judges came to out room. Of the classes whose items were chosen, only one was even close to as good as ours, I thought. The students were disappointed, I could tell. But that's the sort of disarray these camps have a habit of deteriorating into by the end. The camp was a success because the kids had fun. It will be a HUGE success if I get the full time position at Konkuk. That has yet to happen.

I asked Yoojin to put in a good word for me and write me out a letter of reference. I got an email from her today, mid August, saying she will probably get to that "sooner or later." The school year starts Sept. first. I hope it's not "later."

Anyway, I have been staying with my awesome friends, Heather and Mike and their family. I'm typing this on Mike's computer. They set up a username for me. They let me eat their food, sleep on their futon, and I feel like a member of their family. I have said a million times that I will never regret not having kids. I don't think I will. But I know once I go back to Gangneung and have a day of silence and rest or two, I'll be looking forward to coming back here next time. Here, where I get used as a Kleenex, punching bag, missile target... Where I get stepped on by dogs and kids several times a day. Where I find "presents" that were secretly placed into my coffee. Where the aromas of pee and poo are not limited to the bathroom. Nor are the pee and poo themselves. Where I find myself thinking I'll tell these ungrateful, lazy kids to clean up this mess, then find myself doing it for them to save time and argument.

Yeah. They're not even my kids and I grumble and mumble when I do their chores for them, but I miss them when I am living alone in the blissful non-chaos without them. And Heather and Mike? I can't think of two people I'd rather hang out with. One of their dogs is great too! The other, not so much. But I'll live with her neurotic habits if it means I get the privilege of participating in the non-televised reality show that is the Peet/Spiwak family household.

I don't want one of these of my own, mind you, but it gives me the satisfaction of knowing that, I could probably handle family life. It also helps me understand the insanity of people who tell me they wouldn't trade this craziness for anything in the world. I have made that trade. And I'm good with it. But, I can see some parallels here with Buddhist philosophy and actually, teaching in Korea. Life IS suffering. The key is to take joy in that suffering. There is some joy in howling kids, begging dogs, stepping on Lego, finding surprises in your beer, and being peed on occasionally. I have found the joy in that and actually love spending time with this family! Maybe I'm growing! Yay!

Surely then, somehow, some way I will, before I shuffle off this mortal coil, be able to walk into a Korean immigration office and find, during my visit, at least a little bit of joy in the suffering I will be subjected to.

We all need goals.

Anyway, next goal is to get full time work again. I'll let you know...