Olympic fun and games and crazy names

The Olympics are upon us! And by remarkable coincidence I have worked my last day at the site I was posted, (Southland Park), for a whole pile of reasons, and I have the leisure with which to follow the events better than I would have if I had stayed. Hmmm almost like I planned it that way... But there would have been lots of events at work had I remained there I am sure. My employers would have won the gold medals in micro-managing, unnecessary job description changing, pretending you did not promise the opposite of what you are doing, overtaxing, under training, buck passing and many other office Olympic events. I sure miss some of the people at that site but there are already things I'm SUPER glad to be rid of.

But, if the last 46 years and 10 months of my life are any indication, I'll just move right along to the next job that has a new pile of reasons to leave. Not the same pile, a new one. That's the satisfaction I get for choosing to stand up for myself and lead a principled life. A brand spanking new, shiny pile of dog shit to deal with and try not to get discouraged. But there is always the hope, and I must be a dolt but I'm not kidding, there IS still a hope that someday I'll find a job where I work for people who appreciate and respect me enough to just forego all the office Olympics and be nice! They don't even have to be nice, just working for people who aren't corporate climbing, truth bending, finger crossing, money grubbing, power tripping, self aggrandizing douchebags would be a breath of fresh air. What I have had at every job in my life from supervisors, bosses, owners, head teachers, department deans and whatnot is more comparable to a breath of Beijing 2008 Olympic air.

But life isn't a sprint, it's a marathon. I gotta keep pluggin' away and although I'm cycling at the back of the peloton right now there is still time for a sprint to the finish.

Right now though I feel like the athletes in this cartoon. Especially the diver. heh heh heh. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AHcxQgLRKM

I have to say though, so far Canada is doing great! I normally don't watch things like luge or snowboarding or figure skating or cross country skiing or really anything but curling and hockey but I have seen a large number of events in which the Canadian has been doing well, continues to do well without wiping out or getting screwed by a judge, and actually finished in the medals! That's fun to watch! It's also great to have the Canadian coverage and not be stuck with figure skating and short track speed skating all channels all the time like we had in Korea, a country only good at those two winter Olympic events. I'm sure Kim Yuna is a wonderful person but I got so sick of her during the last winter Olympics, and for a long-ass time afterwards, I wanted to hire Tonya Harding to hit her in the shin with a pipe! I can only imagine how sick of Psy expats in Korea are by now! Good thing there is no Olympic event in making shyte music or embarrassing dances!

It is also interesting to see the shots of the mountains of Sochi and some of the beautiful sights around there. People are complaining about one star hotels, extreme security, side by side toilets and such, but I consider that character. If I wasn't such a blockhead, (and didn't need money), I would be working in Russia teaching ESL right now and could be AT some of these events! How amazing would it be to go to an Olympic men's hockey game between Russia and Canada? I could be doing that! Come to think of it I could have been in Vancouver watching the winter Olympics while they were THERE too! I could have seen Crosby's golden goal! That is, if I put a second mortgage on my house to buy the ticket. Which is to say IF I HAD a house or a FIRST mortgage... My life-marathon strategy leaves a little to be desired methinks.

I always like the special stories too. The special interest stories like Eddy the Eagle. Remember him? The British ski jumper? They let him jump before they allowed the women to do it. Go figure! Or of course the Jamaican bobsled team. The movie about that, Cool Runnings, was filmed largely in Calgary. DAMMIT! I wasn't in Calgary when the winter Olympics were HERE either! What is wrong with me?

This year's weird story: Iran has 5 athletes at the games.

Ha ha ha. The uranium medal. No, seriously they are in skiing events! Snow skiing, not sand skiing. Well, I hear Saudi Arabia has a pretty good hockey team.

I also have to add that there are some pretty whacky names out there. Swiss hockey player Luca Cunti, German ski jumper Andreas Wank, Swedish female hockey player Jenni Asserholt, biathlete Jakov Fak, Japanese short track skater Satoshi Sakashita, and if that's not my favourite there's this guy

Believe it or not this is French short track skater Thibaut Fauconnet. Fauconnet, man! Just imagine the introductions if they all got together in the same place. har har har!

I've been thinking. I'm technically listed as a "casual" guard now where I work but not getting any hours at all. So with all my spare time I should start hangin' out at the Olympic ski jump or bobsled track here in Calgary. It wouldn't take me much more than 4 years to whip this fine specimen of a body into Olympic shape. Why, I already have an excess of weight that will give me extra speed in either event. A little bit of practice and I could be BETTER than Eddy the Eagle! But I'd probably get a ski jumping coach who promises I will get to jump then makes me wax the skis of the actual team members. Or a luge coach that wants me to do the two man event. Have you seen this? Top or bottom it's just not for me. I get uncomfortable washing a cucumber for crying out loud!

But I guess I won't stress about it. After all by the next Olympics I'll be 50. HEY, SENIOR Olympics! Why don't they have those? Events like ice ballroom dancing, the restroom sprint, Matlock marathon, downhill... Geez just about EVERYTHING is going downhill after 50 isn't it?

SO anyhoo, if you wondered what I was up to this is it for a while. I actually had one "interview" already. The email said to dress nice because this is a job interview. Then the day of the interview moments before leaving I received an email with a link to a lengthy and complicated application to fill out, print out and bring to the "interview." I don't have a printer and didn't have time to go to one so didn't do that. Turned out we were trying to find guns, knives, and grenades in luggage ex-ray slides. Like airport Where's Waldo for money! The test was brutal. Only 5 people passed. About the amount that could have passed if we all just guessed on the exam. I didn't pass and am okay with that. Then today I got an email from the people who conducted the "interview" saying that my application for the position of pre-board scanner has not been chosen for an interview. What??!!

Not to worry, I have lots of applications out there, I'm sure I'll get back to work soon. With my luck I'll start the day of the Canada/Russia men's hockey final. But I'll TVO that game when I get to it. Well, if I HAD TVO on my TV. That is to say, IF I had a TV...