This post will be as much for me in the future as it will be for any other reader. If I ever need to remind myself that staying employed is better than the HELL it is trying to find work and that maybe there are problems at work but they pale in comparison to the Herculean tasks set upon the unemployed by those who want to use our skills, personalities, abilities and expertise to make themselves piles and piles of dough, well I'll just have to refer back to this post.
Now I'm not one to complain, but...
I'll let that stand on its own. Come on, Korea!!! Could it be possible for them to make it even more difficult and tediusly time consuming than it ever was to get a friggin' job here? Answer: apparently.
Where to begin! Let's start with applications. I've been applying to jobs since getting to Korea and the information I include in my resumes, self-intros and cover letters is more than enough to get a good idea of who I am. But some schools want more. They either want to know more about you and don't trust their own interview skills, or they just want to see the level of tedium, useless, personal, impossible and sometimes illegal questions and/or requirements they can expose a prospective employee to before that employee gets either brain-numbed or offended enough to pack 'er in. Not an un-clever technique, just unconscionably diabolical. The end result is only people with high tolerance for anally retentive busy work, impolite, rude, unnecessary questions and other such assholery will make it to the interview portion of the job hunt. And if that IS the intent, I'm pretty sure it's gotta be because the job requires just such pain thresholds. And frankly, even though I am desperate to stem the inexorable flow of money in my life into the spent column and not the earned or saved, I don't want such a job. I wish I could give you some examples in full.
Here's one: I was all set to apply to Dongguk University today because the job sounds like a decent one. Then I perused the application requirements. You have to download and complete an application. The first three questions of said application are name, date of birth and religion. Well, 66% of these questions aren't supposed to be included on the applications of, how shall I word this... reasonable companies because they would tend to indicate either age or religious descrimination in said companies. Here in Korea, well they're just not reasonable I guess. The application goes on to require names and dates of education and employment. A common application request. But then there's a little blurb at the bottom saying, in my own personal paraphrasing, "We don't believe anything you write on this application so we require proof that is costly, difficult and sometimes impossible to produce." You need your degrees, diplomas and criminal record checks to be stamped, sealed or apostilled by people who have absolutely no way of verifying their authenticity, for example notary publics or workers at Korean consulates or embassies. The reason does not SEEM to be, it IS nothing more than making things less convenient for foreign applicants for work in Korea. Period. The geniuses at Dongguk U also request something that is difficult or not possible to get: official records of employment from previous positions. I have never received one of these from any of the many places I have worked here in Korea. I have requested one long after having worked there and received word that it would be sent, but never received it. The people at the administration offices of these places just have a million other more important things to do. But, as Dongguk University application authors say, "If you do not submit those documents, you will be excluded from the screening." I just said, "Well screw you then, Dongguk, I don't want your stupid job!" And thus, they eliminated a candidate who was probably possessed with a bullshit threshold the level of which is insufficient to perform the job at Dongguk University adequately. That is to say, a perfectly NORMAL bullshit threshold.
Other job ads state that "Christians will be given preference" or in the ad title state that such and such school is looking for a Christian employee... I saw a kids' camp advertised for a school that I know to be Seventh Day Adventist. They pay well! But no smoking, swearing or alcohol consumption will be tolerated during the camp. Talk about increasing the challenge level! They have the right to limit certain behaviours in their employees I guess, but does smoking, drinking or swearing make a person bad? Or does it necessarily indicate an inability to teach effectively? And while we're on the subject, what is it with the Korean form of Christianity that makes them feel so comfortable asking, "Are you Christian?" Because they do this at the interview too!(And at introductions, at the workplace, on the street, just about everywhere!) And although I have no way of knowing how much weight this holds as a criterion, I'm inclined to give a positive answer to it whether or not it's true. I'm sure there are a lot of people like that. This should not be the case on the grounds of proper behaviour as well as, believe it or not, religious grounds. I was walking down the street in Seoul the other day and a big, African man came up to me and invited me to take a flyer from his church and encouraged me to go to it. He asked me if I believed in Jesus. I said I did. He asked if I had ever heard John 3:16. I said I had. He then quoted the verse where it says where two or three are gathered in God's name there He is in their midst. And he started, no he was way past starting by then, he CONTINUED hounding me down the street even though I was saying things like, "Me and Jesus are just fine," or "Dude, I'm not gonna go to your church," or "I prefer the verse about worshipping in secret and not for the benefit of others but for yourself."
How many people know the Lord's Prayer? How many Catholics say it at least once every time they go to church? Tons and tons! But how many of us know where it is in the Bible and the context of it? Not many, right? I think it's because if word got out that Jesus actually taught people how to pray and worship and it bears little to absolutely NO resemblance to what is expected of so many "Christians" in so many churches today, well those churches might have difficulty, how shall I word this... making money. Check it out folks:
Matthew Chapter 6:1 “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.2 “So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.5 “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 7 And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.9 “This, then, is how you should pray..."
And it goes on, as we all know, "Our Father, which art in Heaven..."
I was not impressed by this big, black dude trying to pressure me into his church. In fact I was annoyed with him. I feel exactly the same when people in Korea make religion part of job acquisition. You know who I was impressed with? Daniel and Henrik Sedin. The twins who play for the Vancouver Canucks. There was a story in the news not so long ago exposing one of their long time secrets to the public: for years they had been secretly giving money to the Vancouver Children's Hospital. And nobody knew because they did it anonymously! THAT is the kind of thing that impresses me! I'm not impressed by religious bullies. And answer me this, shmarty pants, if Jesus owned a language school, would he give preference to Christians?
Anyway, let's move on. On to the visas and immigration. The bain of my former existence in Korea and I'm sure it will be no less frustrating this time around. It has already cost me a camp position. I had an interview with a camp in Gwangju University a couple of days ago. I had to miss the final game of the Stanley Cup playoffs to travel there! And because the dude in charge of the camp had no idea what he was doing, he didn't know that I needed a visa to do his camp. He actually hired me and gave me a contract before I mentioned the visa and he said, "Oh yeah. That's pretty important." So he left it up to me to get all the information about the visa, both MY responsibilities and the camp's, do everything and let him know. That's what Amber and I did yesterday. We walked to the immigration office in Incheon. A nice, sweaty couple of hours. Good way to burn off the beer we may have had the night before. We get to the immigration office and I go up to the agent at the desk with a whole list of questions. She was able to verify that my visitor's visa is indeed the 6 months that we Canadians get here automatically. I was confused cuz the airport immigration agent wrote something that looks like "03 M." So at least THAT was good to find out! Then I asked about the C-4 visa. Amber and I had both done some digging and discovered that this is the appropriate visa for me to get if I want to teach at camps. It's a temporary work visa. Good for 90 days. I can't work on my visitor visa at all. So I need to go out of the country, (almost always to Japan), and change to a C-4 visa. I wanted to know how much it would cost, how long it would take, could I have multiple employers, if I also get an Alien Registration Card with it, you know, the pertinent questions. The agent looked at me with a strange look and said, "C-4? No C-4 visa. You have visitor visa." So I explained to her that I want to work so I want to change my visa. She, (of course), then said I'd need an E-2 visa. This is what we normally get for the one-year contracts. So I explained that it was part time, short term work and, (like I had said 10 minutes ago), would need a C-4 visa to do it. So she went away from her desk, talked to some of her co-workers, looked at a book, maybe made a phone call or two and got back to the desk and said, "You can not change! Can not change your visa." It reminded me SOOOO much of the Indonesian, "Cannot!" I said wait a minute, what do you mean I can't change. I want to work. I can't work in Korea? Is that what you're saying? Then I thought of all the immigration workers I'd encountered in Korea and how profoundly unqualified they ALL were to be in the positions they were in and I said, "I want to leave the country, go to Japan, change my visa, then return to Korea and work." So she goes away from her desk again and comes back again, "You need to go Japan to get C-4 visa."
Well I was so relieved! It's like when I go to the doctor in Korea with my summer skin rash and tell him/her "It's a sweat rash and I need Sporonox. I take it for a week and it's gone." They poke and prod me for a while, ask a few unrelated questions and say, "You have a sweat rash. You need to take Sporonox for a week. That'll be 150,000 won." Or when you hire a lawyer to do something you tried to do but couldn't for the sole reason that you are not a lawyer. I am not an immigration officer but I've met exactly zero of them who know as much about their jobs, (at least pertaining to me), as I do. I have also met zero of them who will believe that even after I prove it to be the case. In fact that just pisses them off. So I sez to the agent, "Thank you very much. Here are a few questions I have about the C-4 visa..." She quickly says she can't answer them. Nobody at the immigration office can. She tells me there is an office nearby where I should go. Then she picks up the phone and calls them for me. That was very nice of her. Unfortunately all THEY did was pass the buck on to yet another person. They said I had to call the Korean embassy in Japan. Well during our research Amber had stumbled across this strategy and tried it. There were messages in Japanese and Korean but no English. Anyway, Amber and I went out for some genuine Thai food. It was really good! And after ordering Amber called again. This time she got through to someone who forwarded her to someone who passed her onto someone else who put her on hold and got someone who speaks English to help her. So I handed Amber the list and she asked all the questions. Easy peasy Japanesey!!!
The C-4 visa costs 4800 Yen, (about 50 bucks). It takes THREE days to get! THREE! I used to get a visa and go home the same day! I need passport, passport sized photo, signed contract, certificate of employment, (those things I've never yet seen even from a legitimate full time job), and a business licence number. As for multiple employers: maybe. If I want to transfer to another employer after the 18 days, (which I would have), another 3-day trip to Japan and I would need all the same dox and another 4800 Yen. It doesn't come with an Alien Registration Card so I STILL won't be able to get a bank account or rent an apartment legally. Which makes me wonder why they have camps like this one at Gwangju U. that DON'T offer accomodation. Again, the guy had no idea what he was doing. The guy on the phone wasn't even sure that the Fukuoka embassy could do it. He said he thought pretty much all the embassies could but knowing my luck...
So long story short, I would have made 720,000 won at this camp. I would have spent more than that to get the visa to do it. And that's not including food and lodging in Gwangju, which I would have to pay for, the lodging being illegal. Illegal work and illegal lodging are two things I don't really want to get into at this time because next week I will hear from a FULL time job I interviewed for in Pyeongtaek. It's at a place called GIFLE, which is the Gyeonggi-do Institute of Foreign Language Education. I'll be teaching teachers and writing curriculums that will be used all over the Gyeonggi-do province of Korea. It's a natural progression in my career that would come with an entirely new set of responsibilities and lots of new experiences. This means a helluva lot more work, but it also means a lot more variety and interest for me. I'm sure that will keep me well motivated to get the work done! Here's hoping...
And all I did for that job was provide them with a sample curriculum, a couple lessons, all my legal documents, resume, two cover letters, criminal record check and a personal interview in front of a panel of four. Piece of cake, really! I'm not kidding! They didn't request anything impossible to get; they didn't ask me to write any essays or paragraphs with vaguely worded topics like this one for Jungwon University. Amazing, isn't it? "Inducement to apply and teaching plan if you are appointed." "Introduction of your teaching career. (include performance, exhibits, etc.)" Isn't this all just repeating what you undoubtedly wrote in your cover letter? And what you will undoubtedly tell them in the interview? And I have it on good authority that nobody will EVER read your entire application from cover to cover. Anywhere. And this is all stuff you do for jobs you may not even get! May not even get a P.F.O. letter for if you're declined! I have taken several hours on several of my application packages only to hear absolutely NOTHING back from them.
So what I'm saying is most of what I've been doing for the past two months has been a complete waste of time! There will be a tiny miniscule amount of all the work I've done that will get me my job here. The rest, I coulda been watching TV or going to the ball game or drinking beer! But, once again, I've never been one to complain...
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