Thursday, January 31, 2019

Livin' Life To Its Least

I watch a lot of movies. Recently I was watching a great one, "Absence of Malice," and there was a funeral. Paul Newman's character's best friend committed suicide because Sally Field's character printed a story about her that included the unnecessary detail that she (the best friend) had had an abortion. She worked for a Catholic School so she didn't want that information leaked. Anyhoo, watch the movie, it's a good one. At the funeral the preacher says, "He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal." It's John 12:25 and it is now my favourite verse. It's a dark verse but it kinda gives me hope in the way that so many people always try to do when they say to me, "Well, at least...blah blah blah."

I think that Bible verse is the ultimate "Well at least." Melinda Dillon didn't win the Oscar for her performance in the movie, but at least she got nominated. Teresa, in a memorable scene, sits on the doorstep early in the morning nervously smoking and waiting for the newspaper. When it comes, she reads it and starts collecting all the newspapers in her neighbourhood. The audience can pretty much guess what will happen next and sure enough she got into the tub and cut her wrist with a razor blade. Paul Newman's character, Michael, later comments while roughing up Sally Field's character, Meg, and tearing her blouse, something to the effect of at least she didn't make a mess.

That scene is tough to watch. I can only imagine how tough it is to watch for the Me Too generation of feminists. But hey, at least he didn't rape her.

Do you see? I was asked what I did on the weekend last Monday. I said that I had planned on going for a hike up our local Seolbong mountain but the air was so dirty that day I stayed home. The person I was smalltalking with knew I had lived in China and responded with, "At least the Korean air is better than the air in China." While, yes, that is the case, it somehow didn't make up for the fact that hiking here can now be, on the whole, BAD for a person. In every corner of Korea I have lived I've always found a nice place to hike. It hasn't been difficult because Koreans, at least MY generation of them, absolutely love putting on their long socks, grabbing their TWO shillelaghs and trekking out into the wilderness. Or at least up their local hills with exercise equipment along the trails. To be fair, sometimes the younger generation can be seen on the trails text-hiking. At least they're getting some fresh air. Well, sometimes. Maybe that's what they're all texting about instead of enjoying the natural beauty of Korea.

Speaking of natural beauty in Korea, remember back last summer when President Trump visited North Korea? It could have been the first legitimately good thing he had done as president, so, of course, his supporters were blowing it wildly out of proportion and calling for a Nobel Peace Prize before it even happened. Trump was spouting some political rhetoric too about how he would stop at nothing less than total nuclear disarmament. At least for the North Koreans...

Some of my students were asking if I thought he'd negotiate peace between the Koreas. I said I didn't think so. I said that maybe peace between North and South Korea would be better left to the leaders of North and South Korea. Then, as I recall, the first public statement Trump made during his visit included a comment about how beautiful a country it is. At least, what beauty means to Donald Trump. He said the beaches would be great for condos and hotels. And I think golf courses were mentioned. I've also read that Trump and Kim have talked about casinos. Trump Towers Pyeongyang?

In the end there was no nuclear disarmament at all, but at least the Rocket Man and the Dotard found a new love for each other and they probably did some business negotiation. I find myself saying this an awful lot but why would anyone expect anything else from Trump? There will be another summit next month. Possibly in Viet Nam? I wouldn't hold my breath for any denuclearization, but I hear golf is hot in Viet Nam right now, so at least maybe Trump can get in on some of that action.

How else does this...


turn so quickly into this?



I work here in Korea at SKhynix. Well, not FOR, but at least AT SKhynix. I am actually employed by a company called Carrot. This time of year is Lunar New Year and everybody here gets Monday, Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday off. Well, at least SKhynix workers do. Carrot workers only get three days off. I have one student who is actually getting me to teach him a make-up class, or at least a replacement class ("make-up class" makes me sound like I'll be teaching the fine art of cosmetic application) on the fourth day of the holidays. At least none of the others are.

The SKhynix company had another record year of profits last year and for a Lunar New Year bonus employees were offered 1700% of their monthly pay. That's one year and five months of pay as a bonus! AND THE UNION REJECTED THE OFFER!!! Well at least we don't have a union at Carrot rejecting our Lunar New Year's bonuses. We all got a coffee mug and some coffee.

Security has been really beefed up around here! We used to have internet in the office and mandatory office hours, but now almost every site has been blocked. The teachers here were informed that we were contracted for 30 hours a week. I have 20 hours of teaching. We were told that during office hours when we're not teaching we still had to go to the office. I start every day but one at 7:30. The end of the office day is 4:30. So that was going to work out to over 40 hours of classroom and office hours for me. And that's before we start our NIGHT classes...

I was a bit worried that I'd have to argue with my supervisor over this. Even if Carrot agreed to only 10 hours of mandatory office hours a week I was going to ask what I was supposed to do in the office with no internet. I can't plan lessons. But they changed the policy! YAY! At least I don't have to waste time trying to look like I'm working in the office. It'll now just be a good old fashioned staff room where we drink coffee, socialize and complain about our students. I have always been more comfortable planning my lessons at home in my gotch drinkin' a beer and listening to a hockey game or some tunes anyway. Can't do any of that in the office. So at least there's that.

And speaking of movies... smooth segue... since I watch a lot of them and since the Academy Awards is coming up in February, I have watched almost all the movies that are up for awards this year. And I will give you my summation right now. I used to be good at predicting the Grammy Awards but have always been crap at predicting the Oscars. At least I'm gonna try.

Best Picture Nominees: “Black Panther” “BlacKkKlansman” “Bohemian Rhapsody” “The Favourite” “Green Book” “Roma” “A Star Is Born” “Vice"

Black Panther: I did not say this, Trevor Noah did, so don't blame me: The academy is so worried about voting for too many white pictures, they chose TWO with "BLACK" in their names! Black Panther won't win for best picture. I'm so tired of superhero movies I may be biased here. When I was young, my first favourite comic hero was Spiderman, but my last favourite was Black Panther. And much like the movie, I liked the comic for its aesthetics. It's not the best story and not the best superhero movie but it'll probably win for cinematography or some category like that.

BlackkKlansman: This had promise. Spike Lee is good at comedy. This had great comic potential! When a black man is calling David Duke and talking with a filthy, racist mouth in the precinct and every other cop goes silent and stares, you are hooked! Then they send a white guy to pose as the black guy, but he's a JEW! And this is all based on a true story? You got yourself academy potential. Then Spike Lee did what he's been doing too much in my opinion: he started preaching. It ruined the movie.

The Green Book: I jump straight to this movie because it sent the identical message of BlackkKlansman by showing, not preaching. A better movie. I can't decide if this is my second or third favourite of the season. Number one is a cinch.

Bohemian Rhapsody: Loved Queen's music growing up and loved this movie. It had inconsistencies and the teeth were distractingly overdone, but neither took away from the great story of Queen. It was not considered academy award material but the acting was. On the strength of that it may have been nominated but I think it's good enough to win. It's the kind of movie I traditionally vote for and some other movie wins.

The Favourite: This looks like the kind of movie that used to get all the Oscars while I was voting for another movie to win. British court scandalously portrayed in all its squalor. Including (gasp) homosexuality, excess, immorality, deceit, swearing, sex and gout. And not even in iambic pentameter. The villainy was good but not even close to the best. We'll get to that.

Roma: I liked this but I would understand anyone who didn't. It was boring for I think about an hour. I almost stopped watching and I like slow burning movies. It didn't help that there was a long scene with a dude's junk flopping around and not a single boob! But I think the boredom was the point of the first half. Then the life of the main character is filled with an onslaught of action that seems by contrast even more dramatic. I'm sure it will win best foreign pic, but not best pic. Now that I've said that....

A Star is Born: I was very impressed by this movie and I don't like romances. The forward nature of the "courting" is something I guess only a fella like Bradley Cooper could get away with. Cringeworthy and stalkerish to us mere mortals. But that was not what I liked about it. It says a lot about this movie that I hated the romance in a romance but still thought this movie was going to win a fistful of Oscars! Until I saw "Vice."

Vice: This movie has everything! Both Christian Bale and Sam Rockwell could win Oscars for this. Well, let me just say the absolute LOCK of this year is Christian Bale as best actor! If he doesn't win I quit watching movies. He became Dick Cheney and is lucky this wasn't live theater or he would have been hated as much as Cheney and maybe even assassinated. I always thought of Cheney as a worthless worm of a war profiteer but this movie actually made me hate him more! Just the idea that there is a man on this planet who said, "I apologize profusely to Dick Cheney for being carelessly shot in the face by him," tells you all you need to know. This movie tells you more! It's juicy! Vice Vice Baby! Best picture of the year almost certainly!

Best actor: Rami and Viggo are two names I enjoy and they were both awesome, but they should have made their movies another year. No question - Christian Bale

Best actress: If you get a chance, watch "Can You Ever Forgive Me?" I think Melissa McCarthy is absolutely hilarious but she played a crotchety old bitch spectacularly! She had a couple of funny lines in the movie but was outstandingly detestable otherwise. But I have to give the nod to a spellbinding performance in a sappy remake of a movie I thought I would hate. I am gaga for Lady Gaga in "A Star is Born!" I think she deserves the gold.

Best supporting actor: This is really a three-way tie with a dark horse candidate that could go any way. The closest call of the major categories. I thought Sam Rockwell was almost as believable as Bush as Bale was as Cheney. Sam Elliot was great as the disapproving but loyal brother of a fading hero in "A Star is Born." Because of his role as the Stranger in "Lebowski," I was uncomfortable with him cussin' so durn much, but he gets a pass. Richard E. Grant was a horribly good friend to his fraudulent but talented benefactress. I didn't know whether he was a roguish queen or a pathetic, thieving bum. But I liked him. He's the dark horse since his movie was not nominated for best pic. If Mahershala Ali really did play the piano in his role as Dr. Don Shirley, then I think this Oscar should go to him. Otherwise flip a coin.

Best supporting actress: This one is as much of a slam dunk as best actor, only it's not. It is because the winner will be from "The Favourite," but it's not because it could be either Emma Stone or Rachel Weisz. I dunno… was I happy or not at who Queen Anne eventually chose as her favourite? This one is like an election - who was worse? That'll be the one who wins.

Best Director: I don't know Adam McKay but the way "Vice" was made, the direction of the incredible actors, the style - supoib! I think "Vice" could dominate this year's Oscars. But then again I am usually wrong.

Watch these movies and see if you agree. If you can't watch them, at least you can read this.

Now, I should add that this could be taken as a very dark post. This is not a suicide letter. I'm not depressed. I don't hate my life and look forward to dying. I think the least is something I need to think about more. I think that is a sign of basic human kindness and humility. I said recently I wish just once I could say, "At MOST... blah blah blah." I was being a bit selfish. I am destined to live life to the least and I am just going to have to learn to find joy in it. It's a very Buddhist philosophy to take joy in one's suffering. It's also a Princess Bridist philosophy: "Life IS pain, Highness! Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something." And, of course, back to the Bible, "As you have done it unto one of the least of these brethren, ye have done it unto me." Those are the words of Jesus.

The same Jesus that Huckasand reckons wanted Trump to be president. Either she is, as always, lying for her boss, or Jesus (technically God) must be very disappointed in His choice! Trump has done two years of presidenting to help himself and the rich of his country who could be called the MOST of these. If Trump ever had his ass in a pew, as his former pastor says he hadn't, shows of godliness and religious fakery notwithstanding, he might have heard of this portion of the good book and what Jesus says to the people, like Trump, who have opportunity to help the "least" and don't. In case you're wondering where to find that Trump absolutely does NOT have the support of the Lord, it's in Matthew 25. At least that's my interpretation.

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