Let's start off like this again: Please read this. It won't be difficult. If you're like me, once you start, you won't be able to stop. It's just too bad it is so short! I'm sure there is much more to be added, but not for free. The stories of Nikola Trumpsla's intellectual inadequacies will fill volumes even if (please GOD) he is only a one term president. If anybody around the Whitehouse found him useful, not excluding his family members who work there, he probably wouldn't be relegated to the golf course so often. 60% of his time at the Whitehouse (so that's not including golf time) is what has been euphemistically labeled "executive time."
Here's the Daily Show take on it. Watch the whole thing. It's worth it.
Trevor Noah has the president figured out. Until he loses (again please GOD) in 2020, just keep him far away from major issues lest he fuck up something that can't be unfucked. "I'm cool with OTHER presidents working hard, but I don't want MY little guy hurting his brain. Safety first."
If you run down what we know about his daily life, it's chilling. He says himself that he checks in with Fox News a LOT! With Sean Hannity nearly every weeknight. He does an inordinate amount of tweeting. On average 11 to 12 a day. Usually calling people names if they disagree with him. He watches a LOT of TV, including both Fox News and the "fake news." As mentioned, he golfs a ton. And, unsurprisingly, the "Commander in Cheat" cheats.
Subtract toilet time, meals and sleep and he really can't have a whole lot of presidential stuff to prepare for. Yet he STILL manages to mess THAT up too. Use some of that time to learn how to pronounce hard words, get the names of people, countries and trails right, (there is no Tallahassee Trail) study hurricane strengths and trajectories, discover that you are not smarter than science, read, try it, it can only help. What in the wide, wide world of sports is stopping this lunatic from at least boning up on Russia and U.S./Russia relations? Doesn't this compulsive liar know that he is on trial for colluding with the Russians, he borrowed money from the Russians because banks don't lend him money any more so he NEEDS to lie and details make the lie? He constantly lies and still isn't good at it! People are already pretty sure of collusion. He's either a Russian asset or a useful idiot. There's that word again. If he were to take the stand in his trial on Russian collusion, he would lie, but not believably. Study, Donald, study!You don't have to read boring stuff like politics, that job you pretend to do, maybe you could read a story of a war hero or two. That way you could use some of the plot points to cover up your family history of military cowardice. You ARE supposed to be leading a country that doesn't much like that.
Wow, now I'm talking at Trump. He has that ability to bring out the frustration in you! Just ask Tony Schwartz. You may not know who that is, but you should. He's the guy who wrote "The Art of the Deal," NOT Donald Trump although Schwartz says over the years, he believes Donald Trump has convinced himself that he DID write the book. And if you ask Tony Schwartz, he's very worried that Trump will get his hands on the nuclear codes and that it will lead to the end of civilization. He feels a bit like Dr. Frankenstein being at least a little responsible for creating this monster. He believes Donald Trump will, and does, lie about anything. He equates his ghostwriting of the book as "putting lipstick on a pig." If he could change the title of the book, he says he'd call it, "The Sociopath."
He credits Trump with an unbelievably short attention span and doesn't believe he's read an entire book in his life although Ivana Trump claimed he kept a copy of "My New Order," Adolph Hitler's collected speeches in a cabinet beside his bed. Schwartz couldn't get information through interviews because Trump quickly got bored, so he was allowed to monitor Trump's calls and shadow him. He found that not intelligence, skill, or business savvy, but Trump's complete lack of conscience about lying, among other things, (plus a whole lot of his father's money and influence) gave him a strange advantage in business. And when challenged about his lies, he would double down and become angry and belligerent. Sound familiar?
In "The Art of the Deal," Trump described his father and massive benefactor, Fred Trump, as being born in New Jersey of Swedish parents. Recently, to Angela Merkel, he said his father was born in Germany. In fact, his father was born in the Bronx of Scottish and Bavarian parents. Whatever sounds better!
At the time, Schwartz noticed that Trump was cheating on Ivana with Marla Maples. He also noticed he spent very little time with his family and had no friends. "He's a transactional man - it was all about what you could do for him." He concluded the above article in the New York Times by saying, "If Trump is elected President, the millions of people who voted for him and believe that he represents their interests will learn what anyone who deals closely with him already knows—that he couldn’t care less about them.”
More recently, the New York Times has looked into Donald Trump's past taxes ('85-'94) and found a lot of interesting things! During the writing of the above book, Trump was DEEP in the red. This is why its own author refers to the book as a work of fiction. In the above ten years, according to IRS figures, Trump LOST 1.17 Billion dollars, which was more than almost any other single businessman. This means he was statistically, (almost) the worst businessman in America!
Trump is famous for claiming that he turned a small 1 million dollar loan from his father into an empire worth billions. The NY Times also found that he had inherited at LEAST 413 million dollars from his father. But the Washington Post has reported him going on a cash spending spree of 400 million in 2018. Where did he get that cash infusion? In a word: Russia.
Okay, I've given you a lot of reading to do. But to sum up, THIS is what all the glacially slow investigations into Trump will discover if they too aren't corrupt: He isn't, nor has he ever been a good businessman. He has remained rich due only to borrowed money from his old man, banks and Russia. Nobody knows how much he borrowed but he has lost almost as much. Why? Because he's a colossal IDIOT! Don't fall for his self-promotion. One of the only mysteries about him remaining is will he burn through the Russian cash before he eventually lands in prison?
Time will tell.
Unfortunately for the world, that other mystery, the one Trevor Noah and I am most concerned about, the un-unfuckable legacy worry remains. He's trying to make his mark. Everything he tries to do that, in his own little egotistical world, he thinks only HE is capable of doing, like making America great again, bringing peace and "total de-nuclearization" to the Koreas, changing global climate, rerouting hurricanes, and ending the war in Afghanistan, he fails at. With the next US election less than 14 months away, the world should be collectively shaking in terror wondering how this twit will "make his mark" on mankind before his tenure as president ends. Will he drop a nuclear bomb on a hurricane? Discover that pot is legal in Canada, conclude that there are "lots of bad people" to the north, declare war on Canada and build a Canadian border wall? Bomb Iran in some area where there is no oil? Pass legislation that allows fracking on the San Andreas Fault? Forget to remove his KKK hood before making an internationally televised speech on global co-operation? Give Putin the nuclear codes for his birthday? Purchase the stock market, then immediately declare bankruptcy? Appoint Ivanka Queen of the World? Maybe because he's paranoid that Melania will run away with Justin Trudeau, he'll initiate a secret NASA program to bring the moon closer to the earth a la Jimmy Stewart. He'll fuck it up, of course, and the moon will crash into the earth causing complete devastation and ushering in the Apocalypse. Who knows what this imbecile is capable of?
Even though he doesn't do much, every day there is news about him that makes us wonder how he remains in his unearned position of so much power. He's like a monkey flying a plane. He might be okay while he's in the air, but eventually he'll need to land that aircraft. Will he accept help from a pilot or will he say, "Hey man, get away from me, I can land this thing. I am a fine pilot. Tremendous! The best!"
Time will tell.
Now go to sleep little ones. Sweet dreams!
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