The Iliad Flow Part I

 Well, back to the negative. You didn't think the positive posts would last did you? And if you have read any of the posts on my alternative blog "A Bottle of Tequila and a New Pack of Cigarettes" you didn't think THAT would last long did you? 

I mentioned briefly in the post about my battle with Canadian taxation that I am balls deep in a similar fight with the phone provider Koodo of whom I am currently a hostage. This will be long but it is a Facebook convo that I am currently having with a Koodo rep. Facebook was the only option I could find on the entire Koodo site that might offer me a way to cancel my service. I apologize for the red, it was the only way the white printing Blogger chose for Mihaela would show up on the white background. Anyway, the convo explains it:

Tues 15:16

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Hello. My name is David MacCannell and my number is 7788381234. I'm out of Canada and the more expensive plan I got when I left Canada doesn't work. I would like to cancel. Please don't offer any explanations on how to make it work, I have found a cheaper and better alternative.

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Koodo

Hey there. Thanks for reaching out! The best part about messaging us here is that you don’t have to spend valuable time waiting. You can get back to your day and we will reach out as soon as we can! Otherwise, if you haven’t already, tell us a little more about how we can help and we will chat soon!

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Koodo

Got it, Dave, we’re sorry to see you go ! Normally cancellation requests can only be completed by scheduling a callback through our Virtual Assistant (koodo.com/chat) As an exception, since you have already left the country, we could assist you with your request . Can I kindly ask you to visit this link https://smm.page.link/W6LpXKj4YY3DwPgz9 to authenticate your account? Please let me know once you're done and it will be a pleasure for me to assist! Thanks.

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Thurs 15:17

Koodo

We value your feedback, please tap here to answer one question about your experience.

Open Survey

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Mon 09:35

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I went to the site and was unable to verify my account.

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Mon 15:22

Koodo

Let’s try this: Please make sure you are not logged in the Self Serve account before you access the authentication link. I will leave the link here: https://smm.page.link/fa5G76petb1GrjVb9. If it is still not working, I can suggest using a different browser or a different device and maybe clearing the cache and cookies: https://koo.do/33YpKCm Let me know how that worked out for you. Mihaela

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09:00

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Invalid dynamic link.

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Koodo

But do you normally have access to your self-serve account?

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I am not going to start messing with my computer. I have used the Koodo online payment service for quite a while now with no trouble. I know the answer to this question but if paying Koodo works so perfectly, why doesn't cancelling Koodo.

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That's how I pay.

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But strangely enough there is nothing there to do with cancelling.

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Just cancel my account. I have already done more than enough to let you know I'm not interested in the service any more. The fact that the service I got for US/Canada did not work and was MORE expensive, and now this intentionally complicated cancelling scheme make me sorry I ever signed up.

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09:33

Koodo

I'm sorry you feel this way, Dave and I would love to help, however, for privacy reasons, I can't access your account if the authentication does not go through. With no access to the account, I can't make any changes, so the line will remain active. Please try to authenticate your account using this link: https://smm.page.link/Fu2vcuJ2n959K3wu7 or book a callback on koodomobile.com/chat, if you have a US number. We can call you back and assist on a US number as well.

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10:12

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So if I'm understanding this correctly, Koodo has set up the cancellation of its accounts to be done outside the customers' online accounts by Koodo reps like you who require authentication of those accounts. Do you see an easier way here? How about allowing us to cancel THROUGH the accounts we have where we pay so easily every month? Nobody ever thought of this? I'm the very first person to receive messages that my account could not be verified through the verification links? Give me a break.

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Koodo

As much as we'd love to help, canceling a post paid service on the website is not an option with any cell phone company due to the Rules and Regulations imposed. For the same reason, we need you to authenticate the account so we can access it and make any changes. There are rules that apply to all customers and cannot be changed.

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Oh really? And what rules are those? Payment is okay but cancellation is against the rules? Sounds like these rules and regulations are not imposed by any legal body but by the cell phone companies themselves. I've already paid over 100 dollars for the set-up and a month of the international plan that doesn't work. My account number is 40884220. That's verification enough. I know you will tell me that you are not allowed to accept the verification by email but that too is another in-house rule you would like people to believe is some kind of law. Whether you break your rules and cancel it without what you call verification or just keep providing the service I can't use, I am disinclined to pay for nothing.

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* not by email but by Facebook message.

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I went to a Koodo agent in a Mall in Canada to cancel. He suggested the international plan (that doesn't work) instead of cancellation. Before signing up I asked him about cancellation and he said it was possible through my online account. I said, "Are you sure because I've had this problem with other cellphone providers before." He vehemently assured me that what is happening now will not happen. What fresh con will be offered by a person I get in touch with if I get an American phone, set up a call back and reach a further Koodo rep? Again I am disinclined to do anything further.

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Koodo

I am referring to the rules for security and access to services. I understand this process was very frustrating for you and I'm sorry! I want to find a way to assist you, but please understand that canceling the line here with no authentication is not an option. Please let me know, are you currently out of Canada and US as well? Do you have a contact number where you can be contacted?

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How about you? Where are you? Manila? Delhi? Or are you one of the many employees of cellphone companies in Canada that are working more than one job, possibly for more than one provider, and maybe even FROM one of the countries where customer service call centers seem to thrive? I ask because the problems I had cancelling the phone service I had prior to Koodo were almost identical to the problems I am having here though more extensive. However, when I went to a guy at a phone provider office, a guy who was my co-worker at one of his other jobs, a guy from Punjab, India, he said he could cancel my old account no problem if I wanted to set up a NEW account... which he did. How about you? Are you just telling me we can't cancel in hopes of offering me another account or are you telling me the truth. If my Punjabi friend could cancel my account (from a different provider) without my going to any verification page, why are you unable to cancel this account?

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Koodo

As much as I'd love to help we are not able to offer you personal information on social media. Please know that we are not able to activate services on social media at all, for security purposes as well. I'm asking because if you are in US or Canada you can get a callback by booking one on koodomobile.com/chat If you are outside of US and Canada I should be able to ask for a callback for you, if you provide certain info. So I am looking for a way to help you with your request, that's if you want my help.

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What I'm saying is I want your help and I think you can help me, but you seem intent on extending the already too complicated cancellation process. I went from my personal account to facebook, to the fake confirmation sites, back to facebook, now to a callback website (that may or may not work) and if it works, why should I believe that that would be the end of the process? Not to mention I now have to get an American phone to do all this. I KNOW there is a way to cancel my account without going through all of this. Evidently it is not your job to help me. You are part of the ever-burgeoning customer DISservice field. Thanks for making the world a worse place.

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Koodo

Wow, I'm sorry, Dave, I really understand how frustrating this process was for you. Believe me, after all this, if I could I would assist with this immediately. The course of action that needs to be followed is booking a callback on koodomobile.com/chat on the US contact number that you have currently. To make it easier, please use the keyword #SMassist to get the callback option immediately.

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"Wow" is exactly right. What I don't need is awe, empathy, or apologies. What I REALLY don't need is a several-step cancellation process for my current cellphone service that is expensive and does not work. What I need is to cancel.

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Let me clarify that I was sold a cellphone plan and now want to cancel because I can get cheaper service and because I can't make or receive calls with the expensive Koodo plan I currently have. The only method of cancellation, you are telling me, is to speak with someone ON THE PHONE to cancel my PHONE service.

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You are telling me, as you are trained to, that you understand my frustration, and I admit to frustration here, but I am almost laughing too hard to notice it.