Do you recognize her? She used to be a 17-year-old fan of the Belgian soccer squad until the above photo was taken at this year's World Cup. Now she has a modeling contract with L'Oreal.
Anybody know this cutie?
I mean
don't ya just wanna
slap on some make-up and drink some Labatt's Blue? Be right back, I gotta get a beer. (not kidding)
How about this:
Do you know who she is? She's young, blonde, gorgeous, and like the other two, will be highly sought after to use her youth and beauty to convince the public that, I dunno, the catgut in Wilson tennis rackets is superior to the cheap doggut Slazenger uses. Geez, I'm probably decades off with THAT example. Do they even USE catgut anymore? Okay the polypralene used in Penn Tennis Balls has been scientifically proven to give a truer bounce than other brands. How bout that? Because if there are two things we, the public believe, it's science and sex.
This is Eugenie Bouchard. She's Canadian like Pam and like both of the other girls she was discovered at a sporting event. One difference though, she wasn't just watching. She has recently risen to prominence in the tennis world not just because of her looks, a la the mediocre Anna Kournikova:
(nothing mediocre about her appearance though), but Eugenie has played some great tennis. She made it to the recent Wimbledon finals. Didn't win but still impressive. USA Today is calling her tennis' next "golden girl" and warning of a bombardment of Eugenie in the media that rivals the bombardment of spam ads you get after a few seconds on the USA Today sports page. And as you can imagine it's not just tennis questions she'll be answering when the media bombards her. During Wimbledon it was revealed that she was named after Prince Andrew's daughter. She was also asked such complicated tennis strategy questions as, "If you could date anyone in the world, who would it be?" Her answer reminded everyone that she is only 20. Justin Bieber. Like Kournikova who could get a bigger rise out of the crowd with a flip of a pony tail than a spectacular crosscourt winner, Eugenie had the media falling all over themselves to hear how she thought Bieber should be allowed to sit in the royal box to watch her play. Or at least Oprah. Then she dazzled them some more fielding questions about marriage proposals and even a question about sports: whether she liked hockey or not. Then finally some tennis talk! The media mentioned her famous fan, Jim Parsons, (Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory), and said that it's appropriate given the "big bang" she is making in tennis. She scolded them for the corny joke. I mean who is acting like the young kids here, Eugenie or the media? She was mature and professional but I wonder how long it'll be before she gets tired of her non-athletic celebrity and tells the reporters to stick to tennis in their interviews. One thing is for sure, like the independantly wealthy Kournikova who made less than 4 million bucks in pro tennis, never won or made it to the final of any tourney let alone a grand slam event like Wimbledon, win or lose she will be able to make a bazillion bucks as the face, body and personality of anything from tennis shoes to sports drinks to strawberries and cream. I'd be very surprised if the bloodsuckers are not knocking down her door already.
Now I'll give you a thousand won if you can tell me who this is:
This is Korean athlete Ahn Sun Ju. No she's not blonde, she's 27, she's not hot, so why would anyone pay attention to her? Because
she
WINS!
She's playing on the Japanese ladies tour and has 16 wins in 4 years. She has three already this year: one in April, one in May and one in June. As I write this she is 2 under par, in fourth place, only 3 shots off the lead at the Ricoh Women's British Open with the weekend still to play. She is SMOKING HOT! Just not in the way we've been talking about. HERE is a recent article I read about why she, a Korean, is golfing in Japan. And is number one there. She is sponsored in Japan by 6 Japanese companies, (Yonex is one), but Korean sponsors thought she wasn't very marketable. They told her to get plastic surgery, which she refused. She even has the nickname, "Big Mama." I prefer "Ahn of Green Gables" myself.
I am going to start paying more attention to golf because of this chick! I am not kidding! If her choice to refuse plastic surgery is any indication of her character, she IS someone who I think could be a good athlete/slash role model for an awful lot of kids, AND a lot of adults out there. She's not going to get the chance unless the messed up values toward women in sports change. But I'll be rooting for her.
As for the erstwhile Eugenie Bouchard I have some advice. Go on a pasta and beer diet. Put on some poundage. While you're at it get a bit of plastic surgery. A couple facial warts, maybe a nose crookeding. Not a hump or hunch but a little scoliosis would go a long way. THEN if you can win I'll root for you all the way. I just don't want to be accused of band wagon jumping or cheering for you because you're a babe. Sorry. Good luck anyway though.
Who am I kidding? I'll still vote for Eugenie. Despite her appearance. Sigh. And to be honest, I will still watch women's golf AND tennis and enjoy the young and attractive girls as a bonus added to the sport action. But I'm not going to root for them or buy the products they flog because they're hot. Ahn Sun Ju? Yes. She keeps winning! I think maybe I'll look into some Yonex shafts for my clubs. When they get here.
SO THERE! We obey young attractive blondes when it comes to what beer to drink or sports equipment to use. It must be the truth. These ad execs do their homework. Surely they arent' throwing away their billions blindly. Then there's this gal:
Young, (23), hot, blonde Kaitlin Pearson is a special ed. teacher in Fitchburg, Mass. Right now she is under investigation by the school board because they found some sexy pics of her. Not nude, just sexy. The school board is evaluating whether her side jobs as a sexy model and spokesperson are in conflict with her job as a special ed teacher.
Oh the trials and tribulations of being a hot, young, blonde babe! I have seen much sexier pics of Kournikova than Pearson. But I am sure she remains a role model and spokesperson for young tennis hopefuls all over the world. She is looked up to. But Pearson is looked down upon. Where is the consistency? Can Eugenie ever know for sure whether people are throwing flowers or stuffed animals to her, or proposing marriage because of her looks or her talent? Can poor Kaitlin ever know for sure whether this student with his hand up wants her help because he respects her knowledge and opinions on the subject matter she is teaching, or because he wants to look down her shirt when she leans over at his desk to help him? Did Tommy Lee REALLY "fuckin' love" Pamela Anderson? They may never know...
And how are you supposed to know how the rest of the world, (that'd be us ugly people), wants you to behave? It's good, I suppose, for hot, young blondes to participate in sports. That's one inalienable truth we can gain from all of this, isn't it? Well, not if the sport happens to be hunting. Remember that first pic? The Belgian gal? I think her name is Axelle. Well she tweeted a pic of her posing with a dead antelope or gazelle or impala in Africa just before the U.S. vs. Belgium game and commented that she was going hunting Americans. L'Oreal, who are strict about animal rights and not testing on animals, promptly gave Axelle the boot. Easy come, easy go. I'm sure she'll land on her feet.
You know who's got it made? Ahn of Green Gables. She KNOWS she's respected for her skills! She KNOWS her sponsors are legit! And when I email her a marriage proposal she will KNOW I am in love with her for her character! And when she sees me she'll KNOW she has to love me for the same reason. True, she is a bit young for me and the cultural divide is vast, but with our love for golf and each other we will overcome. Life is too complicated when you're gorgeous. Be thankful, most of us, that we're ugly!
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