I Wanna Be Sedated

It's painful not to pretend. That's deep.

A cousin asked me how I'm doing. Just yesterday. I talked about the prospects of camps and finding a new job here in Korea at a university. He commented on how exciting my life is.

Well, I think he's right. In a way. Exciting and terrifying are similar. I didn't tell him that the camps are dependant upon getting permission to work elsewhere from my official employer over here, who I recently had a big fight with and quit. I've been told that the permission will be given, but many of the things I was told by this employer did not happen. Add to this the fact that I have already given them a signed, but not dated, letter of resignation. To show trust. I can't tell you how many times showing honesty and trust to a Korean employer has bitten me in the arse. So often that I should, by now, have come to expect it. But I continue to employ this terrifying/exciting trusting approach, which most Asian people see as stupid. And, by golly, it has made me feel stupid a time or two. But my position is that if I have to go through life not trusting anybody, what kind of life would that be?

So as I type this my employer may have informed immigration that our contract was broken by me. If that is the case I believe I have a month to leave the country or they start charging me some money for every day of overstay. I am not sure how much but in Indonesia it was about 30 bucks. Here it's probably 50. My bosses were in Spain for two weeks and were due back Monday. I messaged them Monday asking to get papers signed for immigration. The permission to work at these camps I'm signed on for. That start basically tomorrow. I have orientation tomorrow for a camp I am doing next week. Monday I received no reply. Tuesday I was told that they had missed their Monday flight. So I asked again if we could meet and sign papers. "Is it urgent?" was the reply. I said that it wasn't but I need the papers signed by Friday. Yesterday, Wednesday, I agreed to give the bosses a day to recover from the vacation. So hopefully today I'll get these papers signed.

If not, I may be refused for the first camp. It will be working in a swimming pool for a week. I think it's basically playing with kids and making sure nobody drowns. Pretty sweet and pretty lucrative. About 150 bucks a day. If I don't get the permission, I could always just say I did the paperwork myself and do the camp hoping that they won't be investigated by any immigration people. If they are, I could be deported. Then I won't be able to do the second camp, one for Konkuk University, which starts the following week and goes for two weeks. It's not as lucrative but I will be working with 9 teachers who work full time at Konkuk. They advertised for a full time teacher as well and I have applied for that position. I think that if I do a good job and the other teachers like me, I'll have a very good shot at a year of full time work at Konkuk. But not without a letter of release from my current employer.

So what I need to get today is a couple of letters of permission for the camps and a letter of release for a full time job. I've written them up but they require a signature and/or stamp from my employer. That is to say, he must agree that I can quit working for him in the middle of the contract and work for these other people, some while still technically employed by him. He has promised that this will be done, but I am quite nervous today. Up at 6 AM even though I had a late night last night chasing down mosquitoes and trying to stop sweating. It's no picnic in summer here in Korea. Especially without air conditioning. Which I don't have.

But no, I'm "fine."

And I'll be just staying with my friends, Heather, Mike and their kids and dogs. They have a full house and really don't need an extra person there for 3 weeks. Oh I will help with a little cooking, cleaning, dog walking etc., but I'll be another person using the shower, bathroom, eating food and taking up a spot on the couch. I may have said this before but they are wonderful people! I know they don't think of this as doing anything extraordinary, but I feel like I owe them big time. They stayed at my place once but that certainly doesn't make us even in my book for all the kindness they've shown me.

Heather, many years ago, worked on the Clinton campaign. Bill, that is. I know I'm not alone when I look at the current presidential front runners and see America as entirely peopled with mad political scientists. "Okay, we tried the black president, now let's see what happens when a woman is president." I see the whole country wringing their hands and hoo hoo haa haaing. I read a great comment online today about this whole clusterfuck: Hillary and Trump are both running against the only person they have a chance of beating. Are these the two BEST candidates the entire U.S. of A. could come up with? Of course not! Bernie Sanders is. Not everybody knows that because the media went out of its way to NOT cover the massive support he had while he was still in the picture. Even Heather, who I am positive knows Hillary personally, posted this on Facebook:

So what happened to Bernie? Back to the top. "Rigged elections." I thought this stupid mockery of a process would die a long overdue death when we found out that Bush cheated, and was not really the president. Not only didn't it, but they just kept him on. Well there was some doubt for a while, but when touch screen voting machine programmers admit to rigging those machines, it's time to get rid of the cheater, no? No. Now I know, and am often reassured by American friends, that there are some really DUMB people in America, but I think Trump's numbers are over hyped and Bernie's were under hyped. As for Hillary, she'll probably win. She will probably do a decent job as president. But the major changes that the majority want, and Bernie Sanders would have brought, will be delayed another 4 years. That will give the cheaters time to rig another plan to keep democracy out of America.

"The world itself is just one big hoax." We vote not with the above rigged elections but by buying stuff. Shit. I don't have an Apple computer, but many people pay extra money for what they think is a better product. Many people think Steve Jobs IS a genius and a great man. I don't think THAT either. But I suppose with my computer purchase I voted for Bill Gates. Hey, he's no Bernie Sanders, but I have two words for you: Mosquito Laser! Check it out! So at least I can hold my head up a little higher when my Internet Explorer malfunctions and I have to upgrade my upgrades and download more programs to make the other programs work again. I wish I had a mosquito laser last night! When will Microsoft make THAT available to the public? Or, will that be a bonus when you buy Windows W or Windows XI or Windows 2020 or whatever the next bug filled, incarnation of Windows will be called? I hope so.

"All our heroes are counterfeit." Imposters. I remember when the Kia Tigers had Kim Sang Hyun and he was just rockin' it! He got MVP in 2009! Now, he watches 20-year-old girls while having a wank in his car. He shoulda just said he was having a Whiz. Har har. I wonder if his car was a Kia. Look, I personally don't think less of his baseball skills, and what you do in the privacy of your, uh, car, is nobody's business. It was a victimless crime. Certainly not worse than fixing elections, starting wars for profit, revealing state secrets, racism, bigotry, corruption. I guess Kim Sang Hyun will have to run for president of Korea now and rub elbows, and other body parts with the elite of moral depravity.

Anyway, with luck I'll be able to work the camps and get things worked out with immigration. With a little more luck I'll be able to land a job at Konkuk or some other university here in Korea for a full year of work. But, as I've already said, I'd be stupid to expect the same things NOT to happen. There will be ethical and educational differences. There will be managers and micromanagers who want me to teach the way I'm comfortable because it pleases the students, but also want me to teach the Korean way because it pleases management. Maybe I'll see about some Xanax or some other sedative that can keep me in a level of consciousness, or semi-consciousness that will allow me to cope with these otherwise soul-stealing issues.

Maybe we ARE all Johnny Ramones and we DO want to be sedated. Well whatever. At least it was a pretty cool song.