Hengbokguh in Paradise

What a day it was today!

I got outta bed knowing I had been paid for the first time in a LONG time, what amounts to a regular check. Not regular because it was minus an advance I had to take to get me fed and watered to the point I'm at now, but it was my first check at the new job. I went to the bank machine right in front of the KT Telecom building and took out 200,000 won. That's about 230 bucks Canadian right now although it used to just translate 1000 to 1. What's happening to the Canadian dollar? Dayum!

For the three weeks I've been in Gangneung I've been using wifi called "iptime." It has no password. It's brutally slow and getting slower so I went to apply for KT today. That's what I was doing outside the KT building. Other than getting all moneyed up. After a minimal wait and a miraculously successful struggle with my Korean and the teller's English, everything went smoothly.

Geez. I so seldom type that sentence I had to stop and admire it. Oh, wait a second... I got a text message several hours after I applied, while I was at work. The message said I had defaulted on internet payments back in 2008. 8 years ago!

I did some quick record checking and blog reading, (that's one of the main reasons I'm writing this thing, (pppfffssshhhttt! Like I have "records...")), and I had Hanaro internet in Mokpo for half of 2008 then moved to Gwangju where I used the school internet.

I recall ONE thing being most important when I signed up for Hanaro in Mokpo: that I could cancel at any time. I was told by the woman who spoke English just fine that I could. Then when I moved to Gwangju I tried to cancel and she told me I'd have to pay 6 more months.

As you can imagine I had a few choice words for her, which I know she understood, given her excellent English. When I'm morally outraged and downright pissed off I can string together some Shakespearian, Old Testament, Mediavally disparaging remarks on a body! She probably even understood THOSE.

It's what every foreigner has feared more than once being over here. We are constantly handed contracts, including those for our employment, cell phones, internet, utilities, bank accounts, housing and other such necessities, that are ENTIRELY in Korean and we just hope the not-to-be-trusted people who are offering them to us, can be trusted just this once. COME ON - Bankers? Landlords? Government workers? Lawyers? Cable companies? Who knows the kind of usury, graft, fraud, sophistry and chicanery those contracts actually contain? And if you have read my blog before, or know me at all, you'll know that every contract I've signed for work over here in Korea has been broken. Except my current contract and one other. (sheepish eep!)

Well the bitch in Mokpo just blatantly lied to my face and told me I could cancel at any time. I remember this because it was important to me at the time. I had just finished a demoralizing year at Hankook University of Foreign Studies where I found a perfect example of how the greedy scumbag liars of this world can only cheat the spineless, apathetic, self-delusional, neg-blocking, and lethargic - who don't stand up for themselves. It was difficult for me to decide which of that lot I was hightailing it away from. But I had one offer and one possible offer on the table at the time. I was a hot commodity. I wasn't pushing 50 either!

Mokpo University was one place I was looking into and Seokang College was the other. I had worked at Seokang for a year and been told they'd hire me back when it was possible. I had enjoyed the year and was looking forward to returning. But at the last minute they told me I'd have to wait another semestre before they'd be able to hire me. That's 6 months. So I did something I never did before or since: I took the Mokpo job, signing a year contract, with every intention of breaking that contract if Seokang wanted me back. As it turned out, Seokang wanted me back and I broke the contract. With permission from Mokpo. They were actually very nice about it. And, although it was more work and fewer holidays than other contracts I had had at that time, (not NOW though), and although there were other minor problems, their's was the one contract that was never broken as far as I can remember. Shoulda just stayed. Hindsight...

I can't remember for sure, but I can think of no reason why I wouldn't have even TOLD the Hanaro lying sow the whole story. She assured me vehemently that I could cancel at any time. Told me she had dealt with many teachers at Mokpo U. Even gave examples of some who cancelled early. Then just lied. And probably does it regularly. Never losing sleep.

This is going to come back to bite me in the ass, I'm sure of it, but I think the most bothersome part of it all is that the Korean people believe all the workers for the above mentioned necessities when they say that foreigners have caused so many problems for them and they all get away with charging outrageous fees and adding unfair rules and regulations for foreigners. What do you want to bet that a huge number of the supposedly "delinquent" foreigners were innocent just like me and that it was a crooked Korean and a totally Korean contract that were the cause of the problems? And then through no fault of their own the foreigner is considered a credit risk. Dishonest. Evil. That's the way this place works, folks. And as a foreigner, there's precious little recourse. There is nobody who will believe my word agaisn't that lying succubus' in this country. Which further perpetuates the reason why they won't believe my word against that lying succubus'.

And anyway, I thought Hanaro was different from KT. Do they share their records? I know Hanaro had a class action lawsuit against them for sharing peoples information to spammers. Thousands of Koreans collected. I looked it up online because I got tons of debilitating spam on my Hanaro internet and could have gotten in on the rewards, IF I were Korean. One of the penalties.

I've been told that this is part of my record in Korea. Like that "permanent record" we all fear? This is like my Korean credit rating. I wonder if I'll be able to get a phone or if I could rent a house or start a business.

But I guess KT won't let me have internet. You know, out of moral principles. But if I go there with the year's payment up front, they'll get off their high horse in a jiffy. Money's a morality mitigator ain't it?

Shit! This was going to be a positive post. After KT, which I thought had gone just swimmingly, I hiked 'er downtown to my bank. It was a cold wind a blowin' today so I actually had to put my hoodie hood up and TIE it! But it was good exercise. I got to the bank and transferred some money into my Canadian account. No problem! AGAIN I use that phrase! This time it sticks too! I got the aged teller and she did everything right. And fast. Even allowed me to pay a couple bills. And tonight the money is in my account. Less than a day! THAT's what I'm talkin' bout!

And after the successful cable and banking ventures, having the cash in pocket, I went to McDonald's and got a bacon tomato burger. I was feeling pretty good I must say. Understanding, sort of, how people can get comfortable in their little lives of regularly intrickling of resources. So much so that they are able to deal with great negativity in the job place. Like overbearing, egotistical morons who want to be considered ABOVE every other teacher even though they don't deserve to be. Go get another cheeseburger and forget it. I was even thinking today that I could probably make a few bucks on a slogan here in Korea. Hengbok means "happy." It is pronounced remarkably close to the Korean pronunciation of "hamburger." They say something like hemboguh. Hengbok. Hembog. "The Whopper: It's not a hamburger, it's a hengbokguh."

Loses something in translation but I bet it'd work. Now two weeks from now I'll see that. Just watch...

Anyway, it was very nice today feeling like I'm back working a steady job again, getting out of debt, happily wandering the streets, getting logistical difficulties taken care of, got my alien card, I am also feeling much better health-wise, coughing much less... I was even thinking of a post on OINK in which the author complained about all the foreigners complaining about Korea and suggested they just go back home. I thought to myself that Korea besically saved my life here and I'm pretty doggone happy to be back. Then KT pulls this.

It's tough to go an entire day with nothing but plusses. So now I'm thinking, "Well that guy who wrote that post in OINK made one flawed assumption, at least in regards to me, that home, wherever it may be to the complaining foreigners, is any better. The ESL industry in my country pays less, won't hire full time so has no benefits, no pension or severance, no free apartment and, since it's run largely by Koreans, has been messed up by them. Korea is now the only place I can do this well for myself and it now requires more hours and less vacation. Also teaching kids. And it still doesn't even compare with what my country claims as an AVERAGE job of 47,000 a year. Plus all the other problems in Korea so fuck you, OINKer, if you don't like the people complaining, why don't YOU go home?

And there goes my good day in Gangneung. Stay tuned, it's sure to happen again. Just not likely before several more posts complaining about people congregating in doorways or pushing their grocery carts more slowly and even stopping as you courteously wait for them to go first, and many many other things. What I know, and what that OINKer fails to see in my complaints and others on that site, is that we still like Korea, maybe even love it, otherwise we wouldn't bother to complain.

Man! Some woman out there somewhere is VERY lucky I stayed single!