I was hoping to post a few really nice pics of Smithers in this entry but even though I've had my camera with me every day this week, I haven't been able to get the pics I wanted. So I'll just save them for another day.
Hmmmmm... what should I put in here instead? I know, let's talk about orange juice. I once had a job at an orange juice cannery but lost it because I couldn't concentrate. Ar ar. But seriously, what do they do to oranges to make concentrated orange juice? Isn't freshly squeezed about as concentrated as the taste can get? How do you shrink it down so that you need three cans of water to make it taste like freshly squeezed again? This is unnatural! But whatever they do to that orange juice, I wanna do to some other things! I just moved from Korea, as you know, and it is gonna end up costing me a pile of money before I'm done. Had I been able to concentrate my furniture, books, cd's, appliances, electronics, clothes and stuff it would have cost me so much less! And I wouldn't have had to give away thousands of dollars worth of stuff. I could have packed it neatly into a few boxes, mailed it home and then when it got to Canada I could just find a place big enough, throw three cans of water on it and stand back. Man that'd be awesome!
On the other hand, the plan is to go to Vancouver later this month with an old buddy of mine, Ed, who generously offered the use of his truck. ROAD TRIP! One of the packages is my set of golf clubs I bought in Thailand so I think Ed and I might see if we can fit in some whack-fuck on one of the beautiful Vancouver courses. They're already playing in Vancouver. And I'm sure we'll find ways to make the trip more fun than throwing three cans of water on my stuff would have been. Sometimes the natural way is better.
But then again, sometimes it's not. Natural gas for instance. It has no smell. Dangerous for such a flammable substance. That odour you smell when it leaks is an additive. My question is this: If that's the case, and it is, who is the genius who was in charge of choosing the scent? Who said, "No I don't think it should smell like strawberries or flowers, why not make it smell like eggs mixed with sulphur fried in groin sweat?"
However, I guess if you smell that odour and run out of a building seconds before it explodes, it might end up being a good smell to you.
Small things like perception, intonation or context can change things completely. So they're NOT really small things. If the parents of a teenager go to Mexico on vacation leaving him home alone for two weeks and leave with these parting words, "Don't do anything stupid." He could reply, "I promise. Nothing." Or he could reply, "I promise nothing!"
How would anyone know how good Jesus was without Satan; how funny George Carlin was without Polly Shore; how romantic "When Harry Met Sally" was without "9 1/2 Weeks"; how exciting hockey is without soccer; how GREAT Canada is without Korea?
Not everything but I'll give you just a few examples of how my life has improved since coming home. And even though there are MANY more than 10, HEY, why don't I make this into the first of my top ten lists on the new blog? Okay, here we go, Top Ten Signs That Canada Kicks Korea's Ass:
Number 10: Toilet paper I can buy less than 30 rolls at a time!
Number 9: Bags of chips that just pull open! You don't need a damn blow torch... And I won't even get into the flavours! Had some harvest cheddar sun chips tonight. Auuugggghhhh!
Number 8: Pedestrians HAVE the right of way. This is actually the hardest thing to get used to again for me. People slowly approach me in their cars knowing I want to cross a street and I'm thinking, "Jerks. Just want to inconvenience me for as long as they can." And then I realize they're stopping to let me cross before them. Just tonight it happened again and it turned out to be a couple slowing down to tell me there were three deer on the road just ahead of me. Sure enough, there they were nibbling on the neighbour's shrubbery as I walked by them.
Number 7: It's mid April and STILL no mosquitos!!!
Number 6: Strangers on the street say, "Hello." AND MEAN IT.
Number 5: After working an entire month for her, my boss is STILL very nice.
Number 4: Laws are not mere suggestions. They are enforced. By cops with power.
Number 3: Fruit, veggies, meat, water, beer, everything I put in my mouth tastes better. Except the Korean food. It's not so great here in Smithers.
Number 2: REAL music!
And the number one sign that Canada kicks Korea's ass:
PLAYOFF HOCKEY!!! GO Canucks GO!!!
Canucks play their first game Wednesday. The day before my birthday. I hope to go to my friends' place to watch it on their big screen, hi def TV. I hope they don't lose. Already bet my Chicagoan friend some poutine smothered in maple syrup against a Chicago style pizza that the Canucks will beat Chicago this year. Since I can't concentrate the poutine it will prove difficult to send him if the Canucks should happen to lose.
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