I figured I had to say something about the recent scandals in the NHL and God love the media, they're all fired up about hockey starting again, as we all are, (at least those of us full-blooded Canadians with maple syrup running through our poutine-clogged arteries), and all the hockey pundits have so far is this watered down, rookie shinny to report on. But geez, do they have to make stories where there aren't any? The season is just a few days away. We aren't going to have a strike or a lock-out, (touch Sher-wood), and hockey will give you guys plenty to write about then. Just be patient.
Dustin Byfuglien overweight and boating under the alfluence of incahol. First of all, boating while drinking, IN MINNESOTA. That's not a crime, it's a state sport. I think it actually says on their licence plates, "Minnesota: land of 10,000 booze-cruisin' lakes," or something like that. Secondly he was reportedly 286. The talk was that he was a sloppy 40+ lbs overweight. The fact is even in mid-season he stresses the load cells at a crease-filling, teeth-rattling 265. A lot of guys will need to trim 20 pounds or so. For Buffs it'll be easier since it's a much lower percentage of his weight. Just a couple of unimpaired fishing trips ought to do it.
Then Sept. 22nd some jackass threw a banana peel at Wayne Simmonds during an overtime shootout attempt. This was perceived by sensationalist media as a "racially motivated action." Now come on! Banana-->monkey-->black guy? Is that what was really going through his head? Or do you suppose the fact that Simmonds had previously scored the game tying goal to force the shootout had something to do with it. Maybe the fan just threw what was handy hoping to distract him so he didn't also score the game WINNING goal. I mean if it had any underlying message, any metaphorical significance, any allusionary merit, my first thought would be an homage to slapstick comedy's slipping on a banana peel gag. This is going to get graphic here and some of you who have been brought up on the weak, politically correct, "pinko" borsht they are calling public opinion nowadays will not be able to handle it but, for crying out loud if I wanted to make a racist ice toss a banana peel would not be high on the list. Why not a piece of fried chicken, a black-eyed pea, some collared greens, grits or any kind of soul food? Why not some malt liquor or orange Fanta? Hell a banana wouldnt even be number one on the list of racist FRUITS to throw, although a watermelon might present some logistical problems. The fan has been named, caught and charged but only with interfering with the game. Not with any kind of hate crime. I think that's the right thing to do. Reports say he expressed remorse for his action. What they don't say is that he probably doesn't admit to his action being racist in intent. And you have to give him the benefit of the doubt. No matter how much you might want to commit reverse racism, (which is just as bad), and protect all black people against racist behaviour, real or imagined, it just gets a little bit dangerous when the courts start thinking they know what people are thinking. Wayne Simmonds is taking the high road and shrugging the whole incident off. Good for him. I call that class. The race riot-inciting, hyperbolic media who have made this the most over-analyzed piece of fruit since Eve's pear or mango or apple or whatever it was... not so much.
Then, less than a week later the movement to have Wayne Simmonds canonized as a martyr took a solid body check when he reportedly made a "homophobic slur that included a three-letter word that begins with the letter F." In his defence he directed it toward Sean Avery who is a player that everyone with the possible, (but maybe not probable), exception of his teammates, has called much worse. Last year James Wisniewski said, "Blow me" to Avery to the thunderous applause of fans at the game and watching on TV. Earlier in 2010, Avery magnanimously offered to stand by any NHLer who decided to come out of the closet. So I suppose overreaction to the word "fag" was necessary to back up his promise. Anyway, now there's talk of regulating the trashtalk between players on the ice.
Every season there's talk about getting rid of fighting. This year I've heard the idea thrown around that a penalty should be assessed if a player so much as touches the head of another. Are hockey fans REALLY this sensative? HOCKEY FANS? No. In fact this year in NHL '12 one of the most popular additions was the goalie fight. I absolutely have no doubt at all that a hockey broadcast in which the announcers were allowed to swear would be immensely popular!
As is almost ALWAYS the case, I agree with Don Cherry on this.
Nuff said.
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